


One Night Soulmate

by deme_lu



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Maybe other tags to be added, Romance, Sexual Content, idk - Freeform, love at first sight kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-10-20 13:39:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 91,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17623415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deme_lu/pseuds/deme_lu
Summary: He was kind of old fashioned in a way, but he thought only love, true love, could make you feel like living with someone and sharing every bit of your life with them...To be totally honest, he wished that special someone to appear in his life rather sooner than later, because he was beginning to lose any hope that it would never happen...He downed his third beer, and was about to order another one when another client made his way into the bar...And Kouyou's world stopped.Also available in russian, here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8383436. Thank you Moran!





	1. One is the loneliest number...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Trying to play in the big leagues, I guess^^
> 
> That's actually the second fic I started to write, and the very first one I post. If you enjoy to read it half as much as I enjoyed to write it, I'd be more than happy :) 
> 
> Just wanted to dedicate this to two special people, for taking time to read and being so supportive. Verena, the sweetest friend I've been waiting for so long <3 , and to Smoking-Area (I know you're not coming around here anymore these days, but if you do...). Your stories always went straight to my heart, they're the reason why I began to write fanfics in the first place, and I'm so thankful to be calling you my friend today, senpai <3\. Thank you two so much for always being here for me!
> 
> I'm not a native speaker, and this is un-beta-ed... 
> 
> You can find the Spotify playlist for this story here : https://open.spotify.com/user/b9x3sqtvlkiflj5sj6lmi3ig4/playlist/7bcIo5HaMEGBxUYEUNolcg.

_"One is the loneliest number_

_That you'll ever do_

_Two can be as bad as one_

_It's the loneliest number since the number one "_

_One  by Aimee Mann, Magnolia Soundtrack_

 

 

Kouyou was sitting in a dark corner of the hotel's empty bar. He had chosen this place on purpose, since it allowed him to watch people coming in and out of the hallway without being noticed.

He had arrived at the hotel in the beginning of the afternoon and since he wasn't expected at his parent's before tomorrow for a not-too-welcome family lunch, he decided to just stay there and enjoy his alone time. Not that he had no alone time usually, actually most of his time out of work was alone time to be honest. But he didn't see any good reason to arrive earlier at the family reunion. He knew this was going to be nerve-wrecking enough, as the whole thing had only one purpose : his sister was going to marry her oh-so-perfect boyfriend and become Mrs Perfect, and she wanted to introduce him and announce it to her entire family, and throw her sickening happiness to the universe's face.

  
Kouyou's father had called him three weeks ago and asked him to take some days off for the meeting, and as Kouyou showed little enthousiasm for the news, his father's tone has been icy cold. « You should maybe try to still be a part of this family, and rejoice for your sister. At least, she managed to be happy with a decent man, and now maybe if we have a bit of luck we'll someday have grandchildren. I can't understand, Kouyou, how you always make us feel like you are not involved in anything as far as family is concerned. Your mother is expecting you, do not disappoint her as usual. I won't take no as an answer. »  
Kouyou knew better than to argue with his father. He had taken some days off, as requested -well, more as forced to- and here he was, soothing his sour mood with some beer.

  
It was a bit early in the afternoon to drink alcohol, but he was planning to also spend the evening there anyway. He felt already drained by the upcoming meeting and tried to distract himself looking at the people around, trying to guess what their lives were like, the reasons why they stayed here. A young couple walked in by the main door, the woman carrying a small suitcase, her face wearing a deep frown, while her husband followed with the rest of their luggage, looking pissed off beyond belief. They waited silently in front of the elevator, careful of not touching each other. Kouyou sighed internally. What's the meaning of being with someone if you don't even want to touch them ? He couldn't help but feel sorry for the both of them, seeing how disenchanted they looked. Bitterness and exhaustion were written all over their faces. Even if loneliness was bringing him down more often than he would like to admit, he would never in the world want that kind of relationship, to be with someone just to avoid being alone. He was kind of old fashioned in a way, but he thought only love, true love, could make you feel like living with someone and sharing every bit of your life with them.  
Only love could ask for this ultimate sacrifice. Because seriously, having to endure someone's swing of mood, someone's eventual sickness, someone's disorder, antics, food's preferences and sleeping schedules, THAT was surely hell if true love wasn't implied, in Kouyou's opinion. Not to mention the hygiene aspect. Urgh... Of course he had tried to make things work with some of his previous lovers, but he stopped trying somehow, feeling that none of them were worth the pain, because none of them were the ONE.

  
He motioned to the bartender to bring him another beer, while a short woman on unhumanly high heels entered the hotel's hallway, asking with a stern tone the young woman working at the reception desk for a room. The woman's voice was haughty, as she seemed absolutely certain that she worthed a thousand receptionists at least...  
Kouyou was a bit distracted by a blond man entering the bar, his phone on his ear, talking in a low a soft tone.

« Yeah, I know... Don't forget to get some rest, ok ? You're working too hard when I'm not around...Yeah...I miss you too. I promise to be as quick as I can. I'll text you first thing in the morning...I love you too sweetheart. » The man hung up, putting his phone back in his jean's pocket, and ordered a coffee at the bar's desk.

  
Kouyou felt something churn in his chest. He wondered if someone would ever talk to him like this...If someone would miss him someday. To be totally honest, he wished that special someone to appear in his life rather sooner than later, because he was beginning to lose any hope that it would never happen.  
He downed his third beer, and was about to order another one when another client made his way into the bar.

And Kouyou's world stopped.

  
He froze, his eyes widening, forgetting to breathe, his deafening heartbeats thumping like crazy in his hears, his jaw agape and his head spinning. The man who just walked in was ... Slightly shorter than himself maybe, wearing a black denim jacket on a white tee-shirt and black slim jeans, dark hair, lightly taned flawless skin, high cheekbones, and oh-my-goodness these lips... Kouyou just couldn't understand what he felt at the only sight of the other man. What was happening here? He decided to blame it on the beer, and on the stupid feeling of envy he got when hearing the blond man speaking on his phone. Yes, that was it, alcohol and loneliness. Right. Right ? Because it couldn't be his innocent wish from two minutes ago became true, that made no sense, things like these never happened in real life...

  
_Breathe, you moron !_

  
He kept on staring at the newcomer, the way he walked to reach the bar, the way the light was shining in his hair, and when the man took off the sunglasses he wore to order some coffee in a deep, low voice, his legs felt like jelly.

Kouyou swallowed. Hard.

Under the shades, circled with heavy shadows were the more beautiful, dark eyes he ever saw. His mind was refusing to work. How could someone with such eyes could ever look this sad. Kouyou would have happily given one of his kidney to see what the man's smile looked like. More like, he wanted to be the one to make this man smile more than everything.  
Hu?What ?

  
A sudden ring made Kouyou jump slightly on his chair. The spell he was under seemed to dissipate a bit, and the other man checked on his phone with a frown. He didn't answer and put the phone back in his jacket's pocket where the device stopped to ring a few seconds later. He sighed, seemingly relieved, but the phone began to ring again after some seconds. The man tried to ignore it, letting the melody -Knocking on heaven's door- ring endlessly, while drinking his coffee -dark, no sugar- . Kouyou registered as many informations he could get. When the phone stopped finally, only to ring again almost instantly, the dark haired man seemed to understand that he wouldn't be able to avoid the call. He sighed again, this time Kouyou could read anxiety in these captivating eyes, and he finally gulped the final sip of his cup before he took the call.

« I thought we said no more phone calls » he said in a tired and dead voice. « No, we don't need to talk. We talked enough already. No...No...Please. I'm going to hang up now... Don't call me again, please. Goodbye. » He hung up, put the phone on the desk, and took his head in his shaking hands. Kouyou had never felt like comforting someone else so much before.

  
« Is staring at strangers and listening to their phone calls a hobby of yours? » The stranger shot him a deadly glare when he took off his hands from his face, anger filtering in his voice.

  
Kouyou thought he was being subtle here. He wasn't, obviously.  
« I...hu...didn't mean to...hu... » The stranger shook his head, annoyed at his stuttering, and walked abruptly out of the room, tsking when he passed in front of him.

  
As Kouyou finally could breathe normally again, (even if his legs still felt like he was made of yoghurt,) he began to regret his stupid attitude. He had to think of a plan to get to talk to the beautiful stranger again. Quickly. Without getting on is nerves. Or stuttering like a dumbass. That seemed to be quite a challenge.

He swallowed his fourth beer, and decided to go back to his room. If the man just arrived at the hotel, that probably meant that he was spending the night here too, right ? So he needed to think this through. The sun was still shining brightly, it was only five pm, but he thought a shower and fresh clothes would do him no harm. Maybe it would help him to have ideas on how he was going to approach the Dark Stranger...He smiled at he thought about the name he called him.

  
_Seriously, Kouyou ?_

  
He let the almost-too-hot water run down his tense body, wondering about the other man's name...He decided to put aside the reasons of the strange infatuation he felt for the guy. He just needed to talk to him. No big deal, really.  
When he got dressed, ready to look for the stranger, he decided to get another beer, this time in the little terrace outside the hotel's bar. The air was still warm, and smelled like the wysterias that hung all around the area. It was soothing and for the first time since he arrived here, Kouyou thought that maybe he would not hate the trip as much as he feared. He looked at his phone, wondering if he should call his mom to confirm he would be there on time tomorrow, but the device vibrated in his hand suddenly. He read the message, smirking slightly.

_Taka :_ I miss youuuuuuuuuuuu !!!

Kouyou rolled his eyes. His friend was such a drama-queen...

_Kouyou :_ We were together just last evening, dude.

_Taka :_ Yeah I know ! But I'd like to have a beer with you and talk about our day as usual...

_Kouyou :_ You mean have a beer with me and talk endlessly about Yutaka, ne ? What has he done today ? Did he touched your hand ? Gave you the sweeeeetest smile ever ? Or did he wear that special shirt that hugged him in the best places and showed his precious toned arms oh-my-god-I-swear-I-almost-died-when-I-saw-him ? Ah, no, I forgot, he wasn't even working today. So you must have missed him sooooo muuuuuch !

_Taka :_ Fuck off Kouyou ! God I forgot this special shirt and now I'm all upside down, seriously ! And I don't talk endlessly about Yutaka. But...Maybe I can call you now ? If you're not busy, I mean ?

Before Kouyou could even reply, his phone began to ring softly, his friend's name appearing brightly on the screen. That was useless, because he had attached each of his friends to a special ringtone.

« I'm not busy, Taka, how was your day ? »

« Hey Kou ! The day was okay. But Akira had to get back home early because Mako got a fever and Haruko panicked a bit. So I was alone at the office, and it's been a bit boring alone there...Until Yutaka showed up. »

« Yutaka showed up ? I thought he was resting after the meeting he had last night with the management about the new boss they're sending us. »

« Yeah, that was the plan. But Akira called to inform him that he couldn't be there with me for the afternoon, and suddenly Yutaka was there. He said he didn't want me to get bored to death here, and stayed with me the whole afternoon. He even took time to prepare me some pancakes before coming. Isn't he the cutest and softest boy you ever met ? Do you think that means something ? »

Kouyou laughed softly, rolling his eyes once again. Akira was such a conspirator sometimes...

« Damn, Taka... Of course that means something !!! It's been years since he first began to let you hints here and there, years, Taka ! He talks Akira's ears off about you each day, just like you do with me about him... He's head over heels for you, and you've had a crush on him for as long as I can remember, but you're both too immature and insecure to do anything about it ! I swear you look like schoolgirls... But schoolgirls usually have the guts to ask their crush for the prom ball somehow. You...You two... You've been turning around each other for so long... »

«Haaaaa...Shut up, Kou ! I haven't call you to be lectured, you know ? »

« I know, I know, you've been calling me to gush about your prince in shining armour, who brought you pancakes and came to your rescue... »

« You're being tiresome, now !... »

« And you're being ridiculous, Taka. Why the fuck won't you just tell Yutaka how you feel and go with it ? »

« You know I cannnnnn't... »

« Listen to me now. What if the new boss isn't a fat bald man like the previous one, but a handsome guy, funny and charming ? And what if that guy had a crush on Yutaka too ? What if he is bolder than you and ask him out ? »

« Why are you doing this to me now Kouyou ? I won't sleep until I see this guy! Oh my god what if this happens ? I'm hyperventilating now !»

« That's exactly the point, honey. What if ? You'll be left alone, mourning about the almost-relationship you could have had with Yutaka, imagining him in another man's bed, with another guy's hands on his perfect buttocks. Now that would be a shame, don't you think ? »

A weak voice came from the phone.  
« I guess so... Did you just call me honey ?»

« So now, you're going to act. You're going to find a way to woo Yutaka-no, forget it, Yutaka is already wooed, you're going to sweep Yutaka off of his feet and make him yours before somebody else does it, right ? Because it could be the new boss, but it also could be a man at the conbini, a client, everybody could find Yutaka attractive, because he is, right ? »

« Damn sure he is » Takanori mumbled

« So you're going to do your best to win him over, okay ? »

« But...What if he doesn't like me that way ? » Takanori's voice was so unsure, Kouyou could almost see the angst in his friend's eyes. He sighed.

« Taka... You're the sweetest guy I know, you're smart, talented, funny and you're gorgeous. And you have the nicest ass of the area. If you weren't so much like a brother for me, I'd date you. I'd probably even marry you and make you a ton of babies if we could. »

This earned him a weak laugh at the end of the line.

« Is it a confession, Kouyou ? … Thank you. Really. You're the best. I will think about it, seriously. »

« Don't think too much, act ! And I'm warning you here, if you hadn't made a move on him when I come back, I will take the matter in my hands, and you won't like what's coming. Because if I have to lock you both in a room, I'll do it ! »

« Okay, okay, you're creepy, going from cute to threatening in less than a minute ! I will do my best ! »

« Here you go, that's my boy ! Have a good evening, Taka. Oh, I miss you too by the way ! »

« D'night, Kouyou. I'll call you tomorrow, okay ?  Try not to kill anybody at home, right ?»

Kouyou hung up, a grin still lingering on his lips... Hopefully, Taka would do something... Then Kouyou's eyes were attracted by a silhouette resting his back on the wall behind. The man was smoking, looking at him, and judging by how small the terrace was, there was no doubt he'd heard his conversation. Without thinking further, his mind refusing to function once again, Kouyou spoke.

  
« I see we have the same hobbies, you and I. » He didn't know how much of this his poor heart could endure. He thought maybe tachycardia would probably kill him before the guy could answer.  
The other man shrugged, adverting his eyes.

  
« It wasn't like I had any choice, this is the only smoking area here. »He paused. « I've been a bit rude at the bar earlier, I'm sorry. » He was still serious, but his expression was softer now.

  
« It's okay. I'm sorry too. Maybe... I could offer you a drink as an apology ? »

  
The Dark Stranger looked surprised. He shook his head.

  
« You don't have to, it's ok, really.»

  
«Hu... It's not like there are many things to do around here, you know. And as tomorrow will certainly be a terrible day for me, I could use some distraction by chatting nonsense with someone... » Kouyou used his best smile, he couldn't possibly let the man go away. _Please-please-please-please..._  
« I'm not the best person to have a nice conversation with, sorry. I don't like talking too much. Besides, I'm not really in the mood... » He crushed the butt of his cigarette on an ashtray, clearly preparing to leave.

  
« Wait, wait … I'm sure a drink could relax you, really. Listen, if you can just bear with me I promise I'll do most of the talking, and you'll just have to go with it, ok ? »  
The Dark Stranger looked at him, a bit confused, and shrugged.

  
« I don't know why you're insisting so much, but I guess one drink wouldn't be that bad. »

  
Kouyou's smile threatened to split his face in two.  
They took place at one of the little tables on the terrace and ordered some beers. Silence was a bit awkward between them, the other man looking uncomfortable, until Kouyou's phone vibrated. He ignored it, trying to find something-anything- to say to the man in front of him before he could finish his beer and go.

  
« Aren't you going to check up your phone ? »

  
« No, hu, I mean... that would be rude. »

  
For the first time, something seemed to tug at the man's gorgeous lips. _Holy fuck_.  
« What if your friend needs some more advice now ? I would not want to interfere in a blooming love story, you know... » Oh, so he really listened his talk with Taka...

  
« What ? Oh, yes, you're right, I should check... » He took his phone.

_Taka_ : Hey. I invited Yutaka over. I'm dying waiting for him. My hands are shaking so much. I don't even know what I'm going to tell him. Or if I'm going to tell him anything at all. Help. I'm a mess.

Kouyou's exasperated sigh made the other man look at him with a questionning stare.

  
«You were right, it's him. As you probably understood everything that was going on, he didn't lose time, and invited the boy he likes to come over. But now he is freaking out and calling for help. »

«Are you always the guy all your friends turn to for their sentimental issues ? »

  
« Haha, no, not really. And I haven't that many friends actually...Taka's probably the only one asking me for advices. And if I were him I wouldn't listen to anything I said, considering I'm not the best person to take advices from... As far as relationship matters are concerned, I mean. »

  
He typed a brief answer.  
_Kouyou :_ Hey, chill Taka, breathe. Just be yourself and tell him how you feel. Make it short and simple. Think about the new handsome boss :) .

He was distracted as his guest took a strand of his black hair and tucked it behind his ear. Kouyou just stared at the delicate hand, the long fingers, and tried his best to not think about how it would feel to touch it...or to be touched by it. _Damn_.

_Taka_ : Kou...What you said about me and marrying me, you meant it?

_Kouyou_  : Yup. I meant everything. Don' worry, you'll rock this.

_Taka_ : He's at the door. God help me.

Kouyou laughed. Drama queen, right ?

« You've said really nice things to your friend. He should be full of self-confidence now. So, what's happening there? I'm sorry, tell me if I should mind my own business, right ? Just...I'm a bit curious, and it's funny, to watch this from afar, it's like a tv show but in real life...»

  
« Actually, his crush just came at the door and my friend is about to faint... » Kouyou was glad he peaked the man's interest with Taka and Yutaka's almost-relationship

  
« You must be a very close friend , to take this so much at heart. »

  
« He's one of my two closest friends. Well, now that I think about it, I guess I should not help him to get with Yutaka, because once it will be done, he won't have time anymore to hang out with me... My evenings are going to be lonely without him. » He stopped to take a sip from his beer. « What about you ? How are you spending your evening when you're home ? »

  
The man 's face darkened at his words, and he stiffened on his chair.

  
« I'd rather not talk about myself...There's nothing interesting to say, anyway. And I almost finished my beer, so I'm gonna go soon-  
Kouyou's phone began to ring with Taka's tone before he could say a word.

  
« Excuse me, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Don't go already. Please ?... Okay ? » The man in front of him made a quick nod.

  
« So Taka, how is it going ? »

  
« I don't understand Kou ! I haven't had the time to say anything, he's gone ! »

  
« Wait, what ? He's gone ?But what happened ? »

  
His friend was screaming hysterically in the phone :

  
« NOTHING happened, your hear me ? I let him in when he arrived, we sat down on the couch for a few minutes and chatted a bit, and I left him alone to get us some beers and to give me some courage before I could ask him for a date...And when I came back he was completely different, he was pale and his eyes looked like he was about to cry, he was clearly distressed. He just left me abruptly, saying he had things that needed to be done, and just like that he was gone. He must have guessed what I wanted to ask and he freaked out. I told you he'd never want someone like me ! Why would he ? I wouldn't want someone like me neither ! »

  
« Taka, calm down, okay ? I'm sure he had his reasons to act this way, and I'm also sure he's in love with you.

  
« I'm so depressed, Kou. What am I going to do if he doesn't want to see me ever again ? »

  
« Okay, I'm going to try to call him to see what it is all about. You just stay where you are and wait for me to call you back, right ? »

  
No answer.

  
«Taka ? »

  
« Yeah... » his friend was crying. He shouldn't have push him to confess while he was away. He felt so much guilt right now.

  
« Hey dude, I'm sorry. Don't give up, okay ? I promise I'm going to help you to fix this. I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. »

  
When he hung up, Kouyou met a pair of dark brown eyes who were staring at him.

  
« Are you ok ? Did anything bad happened ? »

  
Kouyou explained him the situation, and he was barely done when his phone began to ring with Akira's tone. He sent an apologetic look to the man, who shrugged and almost -almost !- smiled.

  
« Go on, there's obviously something going on there ! I don't mind, but only if you tell me after.»

  
Kouyou smiled and answered. And was taken aback by Akira's fury.  
« Kouyou ! Godamn motherfucker ! Do you have anything to tell me, you bastard ? »

  
Kouyou was dumbfounded.Never in his whole life had he seen Akira angry. He could get upset, yes, but mad and yelling at him like a madman ? Never in the world. He watched the stunned man in front of him with wide eyes. Akira shouted loud enough for them both to hear it clear.

  
« Wow, Aki ? Are you crazy ?What is this about ? »

  
« Did you think you could go on like this and never tell me ? Why didn't you warn me ? I wouldn't have encouraged poor Yutaka all these years if only I had known. He's actually in my kitchen having the worst heartbreak ever. It's your fucking fault and I am soooo mad about you right now, I would punch you in the face if you were here ! I thought you trusted me enough to tell me these things, Kouyou ! You're like my brother ! »

  
« I don't understand anything Akira ! What the fuck are you talking about ? Why is Yutaka crying in your kitchen because of me when he should be with Taka right now, thanks to me ? » Kouyou was lost.

  
« Yutaka was at Taka's earlier. He was overjoyed because Taka called him for the first time to spend time with him alone. He sent me a message and told me he was going to make things move forward between them. And as Taka went to prepare some drinks, Yutaka looked at Taka's phone which was on the coffee table and he saw your texts. Do you get it now ? You're so stupid! »

  
Kouyou snapped

  
« I still don't get it now, and I promise to kick your ass to death if you don't stop calling me names ! I only texted Taka to give him some confidence to confess to Yutaka. Nothing more ! I don't see where I've done anything wrong ? »

  
« Maybe when you didn't tell us you were going to marry Takanori ? » Akira all but screamed in the phone. Kouyou's mind went blank.

  
« WHAAAAAAT ? What the fuck-marry Taka ? Wait a minute-oh-my-god-... !!! » Kouyou suddenly remembered the last texts he exchanged with his friend, and everything clicked in place. He began to laugh so loud, his nerves taking control while relief washed over him.

  
« I'm really happy you find this funny. Really. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sick baby, a panicked wife and a mourning friend in my kitchen- »

  
« Aki ! Chill ! Let me explain and don't interrupt me, okay ? » Kouyou told Akira everything, and the Dark Stranger understood in the meantime.

  
« Hu, Dude, this is really weird. I ...hu...am sorry for calling you names and all. I was so mad you were going to marry Taka without having never told me about it. What are we going to do now ? I mean, for Yutaka ? »

  
« You go tell him the truth. The whole truth, beginning with Taka's crush on him. I didn't want to interfere until now, but too much damage has been done, and if we let them wait to have enough self confidence again to do something, I bet we will have to wait for a decade at least. Tell him that Taka is as much devastated as he is right now, crying his eyes out and thinking Yutaka doesn't want him. He should go there and fix this mess himself. Because if he hadn't been a nosy idiot, he would never have looked at someone else's texts ! Damn, these two dummies... »

  
« Okay, I will. Again, I'm sorry, Kou. I owe you a beer... And, hu, if you plan to get married someday, I'd really like you to tell me, okay ? »

  
« I'm not marrying anyone soon, you can relax ! And you owe me a whole beer night, and I'm looking forward to it ! » Kouyou hung up -again- after he asked about Mako's fever and Akira told him it was just a bad cold.

  
« Sorry about this. As I said, I don't have many friends...And you can see why ! »

  
The man shrugged again, but this time he looked more relaxed.

  
« It's okay. It was kinda funny and entertaining ! Now I hope your friends will have their happy ending. Thank you for the beer. It was nice. »

  
Kouyou panicked.

  
« We...haven't even have time to talk...at all. Would you maybe like to eat something ? I saw they had homemade pizzas, noodles and finger food at the bar. You're going to have to eat anyway, right ? »

  
The other man seemed puzzled at his offer.

  
« Well, I told you I wasn 't good for small talk and -

  
« Okay » Kouyou interrupted him. « No small talk. Maybe we could try something ? I'm not going to ask you anything. I'm going to try to figure you out without any clue. And it's up to you to tell me if I'm wrong or not, and to tell me the truth if you want. It's up to you to build yourself someone you'd rather be, if you like. I'll never know anyway. If you're not comfortable with something, you tell me and we go on with another theme. I won't even ask for your name, I'll give you the name that suits better to you in my opinion. And you can do the same. Sounds fun, hu ? »

  
Kouyou's speech had been done with such expectant eyes and so much enthusiasm, and his smile was so cute, the other man couldn't find the will to say no. His every being was indeed screaming at him how much this was wrong, to let his guard down in front of a total stranger, but somehow he craved to have something to do to keep his mind busy, and not let it spiralling down in hell. He nodded and said in a soft voice :

  
« I'm gonna give it a try. Olives, cheese and mushrooms on my pizza, then. »


	2. Weirdos and indecisive bitches...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2!  
> When I first thought about this story, the relationship between Yutaka and Taka was just supposed to be a simple side-story of some sorts, but it grew into something bigger when I actually began to write. I just love these two together, and I hope you will too.  
> Enjoy?

_...Wouldn't a smarter man simply walk away?_

_It doesn't really help that you can never say_

_what you're looking for but you'll know it_

_when you hear it, know it when you see it walk through the door..._

_Aiméé Mann, Nothing is good enough, from Magnolia's soundtrack_

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Kouyou went back to their little table after ordering pizzas and more beers.

The beginning of their evening went smoothly, they enjoyed their pizzas -agreeing that they probably were some of the best they'd ever eat- and the huge cups of ice-cream Kouyou ordered after. He did the most of their conversation, chatting mindlessly about anything and nothing, music, the last movie he went to see with his friends, how they were such dorks, how in love he was with little Mako, his friend Akira's baby,  while his guest just listened to him and hummed at what he said sometimes, or sometimes just nodded... They drank some more beers, and Kouyou felt a bit giddy, but the man in front of him seemed to relax finally, interacting more and even replying to Kouyou's babbling.

As he put a refilled glass in front of the man, he grinned happily.

  
« Here you go. Do you wanna begin ? »

  
« Hu? Beguin what ? »

  
« The guessing game, I meant ! »

  
He couldn't help but smile a bit at Kouyou's antics. This man was really a weirdo... A really cute weirdo. The more Kouyou talked, the more he happened to enjoy his company. He was funny, his comments were rather smart, he looked kind and when he talked about something he liked, his eyes widened just a little bit and he talked over-excitedly. And when he giggled, his nose was crinkling a bit...Not to mention that he was really a treat for the eyes.

  
« Okay... But I won't look for a name, because I already know yours, Kouyou... Your angry friend shouted so loud in the phone! So, well, let's see what I can imagine from what you're looking like... »

And just like that, he began to stare at Kouyou. Who became suddenly very self conscious. He should have expected something like this, obviously... And he began to wonder if he should have payed more attention to his outfit... Or brush his hair at least. The guy seemed to take his time, looking at Kouyou's big hands, his long bony fingers, the way he was sat on his chair, his Captain America tee-shirt, the way his hair fell around his face in messy light chestnut strands, and the little pink dots on his cheeks. Cute. Definitely.

« As I can guess from your pale skin, you don't have a work that takes you outside much. Your hands are really neat and seem soft, and if I can judge by them you don't have a very physical job. You're working in an office, or a shop maybe? You must have some sort of free lance job or don't have too much people above you, because not much employees are allowed to wear long hair.  You don't mind much about your appearance, if I can tell by your super hero shirt or your shoes. And you're probably some kind of nerd, too, hence the tee-shirt again. You're slim and look fit enough, so maybe a little daily training? And you're wearing a chain with a silver guitar pick, so either you're a guitarist, or you're dating a guitarist maybe... Am I right ? »

  
Kouyou cleared his throat, giving a look at his worn-out Chuck Taylor's. The global check-up had him really flustered. He wanted the man's attention, yes, but he hadn't imagine it that way.

  
« Ahem... Not too bad. Rather close, by the way. I wasn't aware I was that transparent, to be honest. »

He chuckled nervously.

« I was expecting you'd think I was some kind of under-cover secret-agent or an astronaut on holidays, or a rock star or something really thrilling, or cool, at least, and here I am, just the average guy in all it's boring truth.»

 _Wow, dude, your father could have make the same statement_. He looked a bit dejected, and for some reason the other man didn't like it.

  
« Hey, no offense. And it's kinda part of my job to figure out people, so...But it was supposed to be a guessing game, not a shaming judgement. Besides, you still look cool... »

  
A small smile appeared on Kouyou's lips, as the man was trying to soothe his agonizing ego.

  
« It's funny-or not … Because you described me just the way my family would have done. My father and sisters always remind me how much of a failure I am as a man. A simple job, a single life -I'm the one playing guitar,see- few friends and inexistant mundane life. I made all this choices mindfully, focusing on what I didn't want to do with my life instead of what everyone wanted for me. I guess freedom and independance were the most important things for me, and I don't regret anything. But it still stings a bit that someone can read me that easily, and that I'm nothing of exceptionnal. »

His smile was a bit sad. He shook his head, as to shake the gloomy thoughts.

  
« My turn now? Errrr... I would say you should have a good position in your work from the way you talk, you're very formal and polite, and by the way you snapped at me at the bar, I would guess you're used to boss people around. »

His guest snorted and laughed a little, and suddenly Kouyou was proud of himself and his mood improved in the second hearing the man laugh.

  
« Touché »

  
« And... You probably work too much, and don't rest enough, the dark circles under your eyes speak by themselves. And... Judging by your clothing, you do care about what you're wearing and what you look like, but you don't feel as confident as you'd like to let people know, wearing shades and dressing in dark tones, just like you'd want to be unnoticed. But it's kind of difficult to not notice when you look like...you know... »

_you're talking too much, Kouyou._

« Like what? »

An arched eyebrow and a light puzzled smile made their way on the man's face, making Kouyou forget what he was trying to say. He stuttered a bit.

  
« Like... I don't know... Hu... »

He was trying with all his might to find something not too embarrassing to explain the man what he wanted to say, the beers he drank weren't helping him the slightest, and as he was avoiding his amused gaze, when his eyes fell upon a single flowery stem in a corner of the little terrace.

  
« This. It's perfect! »

  
The other man looked a bit surprised

  
« What? »

  
« I think I found your name. Aoi. »

  
« What?... Why? And it's a girl name, mind you! »

  
« Yeah, yeah, who cares! That's exactly what I wanted to say! You see all the wysterias around, just shouting at everyone « hey ! look at us, we're so pretty and we smell so good, nobody can pass by us and not notice how perfect we are? ». They are, they really are, but they're all the same. And then... there's this single hollyhock, making it's life quietly in the corner, not trying to get attention, just existing. But look at it, the beautiful flower, standing gracefully, and it's perfect indeed, just because it doesn't look like the others, just because it's different and beautiful in its unique way. Do you see what I mean? »

  
Kouyou was looking at the man expectingly, knowing his explainations were a bit confused.

  
« Yes? Or ...No? » he seemed to be a bit lost « I don't see how that's relevant? »

  
Kouyou let escape a long, frustrated growl.

  
« Raaaaaaaaaa...you're just like this flower. You look so different from the others and so beautiful, how could people not notice you? »

Oh... Oh. That was it.

Weirdo guy wasn't just looking for someone to share his diner...Weirdo guy was hitting on him.

The thought shocked the man as the truth slapped him in the face. How did he not understand before?

_Guess I'm not socializing as much as I should._

But who could have thought Kouyou could find him attractive, anyway? Sakai told him hundred times how unattractive he was; how lucky he was to have him to be taken cared of, because he would never find someone else who wouldn't mind being with him while he was so bad looking and worthless. Of course, he had finaly gotten rid of him and of his manipulative shenanigans, of course he finaly understood how perverted and twisted the other's mind was, but that didn't erase all the wounds it had left in his self-esteem. All this time being mistreated, -oh well he had never been hit or even been slapped, no, Sakai was too much of a coward and much too subtle to harm him physically- had washed away any self confidence he could have before.

  
So Kouyou was... flirting with him ? That's why he had wanted to invite him ?

He suddenly felt anger rise in his chest. He should have seen it coming. He really should have. Because why would someone be so nice and friendly if they didn't want something in exchange ?

  
« I knew it wasn't a good idea. » he said in a deadly voice, getting up from his chair abruptly.

  
« Hey...! No, don't go ! I'm sorry ! Sorry, okay? Didn't want to offend you in any way. I just wanted to let you know- »

  
« Yeah, yeah, I got it. And after you surely wanted me in your bed, don't you ? You thought I was some other easy guy, ready to fall for your cute face after a pizza and some beers ? »

  
« No ! NO !!! I am not like this, I swear, I'd never do something like that ! Listen, I'm sorry, the only thing I wanted was to get to know you and-

  
« Good night, Kouyou. Thank you for the diner. You still have some time to find someone else to warm up your sheets with a little luck. »

  
And with that, he left the terrace -and a petrified Kouyou-, grasping his phone and cigarettes that were on the table, walking briskly down the hallway and hoping in the first elevator.

When he finally reached his room, he just let himself slide against his closed door. He took his head in his hands, and exhaled a deep sigh. He was exhausted, his arms and legs felt heavy and painful, like if he had made some intense physical efforts the day before. And, beating at his forehead, was the beginning of a headache.

He sighed again... Everything seemed so difficult. Was it all going to be that troublesome now ? He thought that leaving Sakai would free him of all his previous anxieties, of the neurosis he had developped living with the other man. Guess nothing heals that quickly.

  
He was so, so mad... And yet, he couldn't really pinpoint why.

Of course he felt betrayed, because he had never imagined that Kouyou could have any other motive than just being nice. But did he, really? Because he had been nothing but gentle and really faultless, nothing in his behaviour had been rude or could let him think that he was planning to try to get him in his bed. There hadn't been any sexual innuendo or implied puns, the guy seemed genuinely happy with just having him to keep him company.

Was it possible that he had overreacted ? Was it possible for someone to tell him such nice words without wanting anything in exchange ? Was it possible for someone to be that nice gratuitously? He couldn't forget the obviously distressed look in Kouyou's eyes when he had left the table all of a sudden. Why had he left so quickly ? Why had he been so... scared ?

Kouyou wasn't a threat in any way, and even if he truly wanted to flirt with him somehow, he seemed really harmless.

  
_I'm so stupid... I was spending a nice evening with a friendly and quite charming guy, and at the first compliment I snap at him and run away. Men aren't all like Sakai...Kouyou must be sorry to have invited me at all._

He felt something unpleasant in chest. If Kouyou had been sincere, it wasn't fair that he had been rewarded for his kindness this way. Truly honest people weren't that common. He had to do something to erase the hurtfull frown he had created on Kouyou's face. He had to do it now.

 

********************************************************************************

 

Taka was heartbroken. He felt painfully empty. He didn't know what to believe honestly, because everything had happen so fast.

He couldn't think how he could fix things with Yutaka now. He couldn't imagine he would have to face him at the radio's office tomorrow. Working was going to be awkward, even more with Kouyou's absence. The feeling of rejection was gnawing at his mind voracely.

He decided to take his dog for the last walk of the day, and to crash in his bed just when it would be done. He hadn't eat anything but he didn't think he could swallow anything anytime soon.

He was walking down the streets with Koron on his heels, and he was feeling the most lonely he has felt since forever.

He missed Kouyou truly. He knew his friend would never have left him in this state of mind alone, and would have try to cheer him up at any cost. He walked aimlessly, when he realised he was more far from his appartment than what he had previously planned. He whistled to Koron to follow him, and began to walk towards home. When he reached the corner of his street half an hour after, he almost collided with someone.

  
« Ah ! Sorry ! I wasn't looking- »

  
« It's ok !...Hu ?...Taka ? »

  
He looked at the boy he 'd just ran into.

  
« Kathy ? What are you doing here ? »

  
« Just visited a friend of mine. And you ? »

  
« I'm living here, actually. »

  
The guy looked at him with sharp eyes, then smiled.

  
« You look like shit, honey. Look, if you've nothing planned, maybe we should go for a drink or something ? It's been months since I've been asking you out and you've always escaped me somehow... I still wonder how you've resisted me for so long ! »

The man wiggled his eyebrows suggestively

« I'm sure I can make you forget about what made your day so rotten »

  
Taka couldn't help but smile. Kathy has been flirting from day one with him. He was known at the radio as a heartbraker, going through partners like some through alcohol or cigarettes. He was funny and good looking, and if Yutaka hadn't been in the equation, even with his bad reputation, Taka would probably have already given him a chance.

  
« Sorry, but I'm not in the mood for a drink. And I have to take Koron home... »

  
« Okay... Share a smoke with me before, maybe ? »

Taka nodded.

  
They sat on a bench in the little park behind Taka's building, Koron sitting quietly at his human's feet. He was tired from his walk and would rather go home and lay on his master's cozy bed now. The little dog sighed.

  
« You know Taka, I was serious. For the date, I mean. I keep asking you and you keep refusing. Are you seeing someone ? »

Kathy was looking at him, his eyes serious for now.

  
« Am not. » Exhaling smoke, feeling numb, Takanori added. « Maybe I would consider it if you asked again ... »

  
Kathy chuckled, surprised.

« Really ? »

  
Takanori was looking at his feet, thinking how good it would be to not be alone tonight. How long since he last had been in someone else's arms? Fuck, much too long. If he couldn't have Yutaka, at least he wouldn't stay alone tonight again.

  
He got on his feet, crushing his cigarette butt under his shoe. Then he turned towards Kathy, and without further thinking, he grabbed him by his collar, and crashed their lips together. God, it felt so good to kiss someone after all this time. If Kathy was surprised, he didn't let it show and deepened the kiss, so that they were soon engaged in a rather heavy making out session, Taka's back pressed on the wall -Oh if only this mouth could be Yutaka's- outside his building while Kathy was kissing him like a starved man.

  
They didn't realise they had an audience until they heard a rather loud gasp.

  
« Taka ?! »

  
The two men stopped their kiss, Kathy with a frown on his face, his hands still buried in Taka's hair. Takanori blinked, before he understood who was calling him, his eyes widening.

  
« Yutaka ? Fuck ! I... I didn't think you'd come back... »

  
« Obviously not. » Yutaka's tone was dead.

  
« Listen, errr...It's not what you think, I... »

  
« I can't believe this ! » Yutaka whispered 

« ... First I think you finally want to date me, then I believe you're going to marry Kouyou, then everybody tells me you're waiting for me to take the first step, and now you're almost fucking HIM at your front door ! »

Yutaka couldn't be more obvious in the despise he showed for Kathy. It wasn't a secret for anybody that the two of them hated each other's guts.

  
« What are you talking about ? Marry Kouyou ? And I'm not- »

  
« You are marrying Kouyou ??? »

Kathy was lost. What was going on here ?

  
« I'm not marrying anybody! »

Takanori was growing frustrated now.

« Where did you get that from ?... You know what ? Forget it. I think we should take some time to talk, Yutaka. Tonight wasn't supposed to be like this. »

  
« Hey, but we were in the middle of- »

  
« Sorry, Kathy, I shouldn't have. It was... a mistake... » Takanori sighed.

  
The other man looked at him with a bitter curl of his lips.

  
« A mistake, hu ? Man... You're such an indecisive bitch, Taka. »

He shook his head, and hold his hands above his head dismissively. Then he turned his back to the man he was kissing a few minutes earlier. He snorted when he passed by Yutaka.

  
« I'm sorry, Yutaka. I was just... feeling lonely... and lost... because of the way you left... »Takanori said with a tired voice. He knew he had no choice now, he had to be honest with Yutaka about his feelings.

  
« You know what ? I think he's right, Taka. You should be a little more aware of what you really want and stuck to it, instead of jumping on the first guy you cross path with at any occasion when you feel lonely... » Yutaka said sternly.

  
« ...What ?!... You're calling me an indecisive bitch too ? Says the man who ran away from my appartment the minute I was going to ask him for a date without explaining himself ? » He was really beginning to get mad now. « And I've never jumped on anybody before, what are you implying here ? It's been years since I haven't been with anyone because I was too STUCK with someone, busy trying to make someone understand the feelings I have for them. But someone is obviously too dense to get it and I spend all my time alone waiting for them ! And you're lecturing me, talking like I was sleeping with the whole town ? » He almost shouted now.

  
« Oh ? And what prevented you to come to someone and tell them how you felt, hu ? You think you're the only one having second thoughts about this ? That you're the only one feeling insecure and scared about being rejected ? Sometimes when you want something you have to fight for it Takanori ! Why wouldn't you be the one to take risks for once ? » Yutaka snapped, hurt by Takanori's words, his mind keeping on playing the awful kissing scene he witnessed some minutes ago.

  
« You've got to be kidding me, right ? Because what the fuck do you think I was going to do before you chose to storm the hell out of my appartment out of the blue ? Can you take a minute to consider how hurt I've been ? Or is too much to ask you, because you're already too busy to shame me and my slutty behaviour, Mister Virtuous ? » Takanori's eyes were burning with anger now, his tone probably the harsher he has ever spoke to Yutaka in all the years they've been friends.

  
« How hurt YOU've been ? Seriously ? And what about how hurt I've been, instead ? Finding you here acting like if you were going to devour stupid Kathy's mouth ? What if I haven't come at all, Taka, hu ? Would you still have had the feelings you're supposed to have for me after you'd slept together ? Would you have talk to me about this tomorrow ? Still trying to make me believe you cared, and lied ? Or maybe begin a relationship with this asshole ? I don't know which is worse, honestly, because in both ways these feelings weren't as deep and true as you thought, if you were ready to throw them away for a wild night with someone else. » Yutaka was a little out of breath after his speech. His eyes were watering now.

  
« You know what ? We will never know, hu ? Because we're having a couple fight now without even being a couple ! And when I see how bad it gets and how uncompromising you are, I think it's for the best ! At least it will spare us the effort to try to make it work, because it clearly can't while you're this thick-witted... » Takanori couldn't stop shouting, now.

  
«Fine... I guess you've made it pretty clear, at least. » Yutaka unclenched his fists, defeated. Tears were threatening to fall, and he didn 't want to cry now, not in front of Takanori. « I can see now how much I was wrong when I thought I was as important for you than you were for me. I was so stupid.»

He made a few steps back, still looking at Taka's furious face, before turning back and jogging to reach his car. He closed the door quietly, and left without any glance towards Takanori, who stood there, his anger still eating him alive. He whistled Koron -who decided wisely to stay away from the shouting- and it wasn't before he closed his appartment door that he realised what had just happened out there.

A broken sob escaped him, and he barely made it to his bed before he completely broke down in tears.

 

********************************************************************************

 

When he reached the little terrace again, he spent some time here, at the door, just observing.

Kouyou hadn't moved from the table they had shared. He was still there, staring at nothing, and if he hadn't felt so guilty right now, he would have smiled at the kicked puppy's look on the young man's face.

But wait...no... Kouyou wasn't staring at nothing, he was staring painfully at the single hollyhock in the corner, and it made his heart clench. He was about to move when Kouyou noticed him, and the young man's eyes widened in surprise seeing him there, but then he quickly avoided his gaze. He got out of his chair clumsily (how many beers had he drank exactly?) and went to exit the terrace by the little gate in the fence that lead to the hotel's parking lot, looking ashamed. He couldn't let him go without doing anything, he really couldn't. He followed him, and when he passed the ironed gate, he called after him.

  
« Kouyou ! Wait ! »

  
The young man stopped in his tracks, and turned. He hesitated for some seconds before talking.

  
« Listen... I... I've never wanted to offend you. I didn't mean to… do any of the things you thought I wanted to do. It was all just about to know you because- »

  
« I'm sorry, Kouyou. »

  
« I... What ? » He got closer to the young man, looking at him apologectically.

  
« I'm sorry I got mad at you without reasons. I thought you had bad motives and it seems that I was mistaken. You did nothing wrong, actually you've been pretty nice to me, and I wanted to apologize for my rude behaviour. » He paused, and decided to add in a moment of sincerity « I haven't been surrounded by kind people since a long time, and I forgot what it was like. » His voice was soft now.

  
« O...kay ?... So you're... not really mad about me ? » Kouyou sounded so relieved, it was almost funny. He shook his head no with a small smile.

  
« I was about to have a little walk... to sober up a little... Care to join me ? »

Kouyou smiled then, a real, genuine smile that lightened his whole face... and warmed the other's heart.

  
« I'd love to. »

  
They began to walk along the desert road, both silent and feeling a bit awkward. Kouyou's phone began to rang loudly, surprising them and making them jump. They laughed whole heartedly before Kouyou answered.

  
« Yeah Akira ? What's up dude ?

 

 

They spent long hours at the child's park at the end of the road, after Akira's call.

His friend just wanted to let him know he had send Yutaka back to Taka, and thought that they would finally talk this over. And he also wanted to apologise again for all the shouting he had done on Kouyou. When Kouyou hung up, they sat on the swings, and Aoi (he had told Kouyou he didn't mind being called that, that it was a pretty name and that he liked the special meaning of it... And Kouyou couldn't help but feel euphoric)  realized that it wasn't as difficult as he first thought to open up to someone he barely knew.

  
He revealed some personnal things, not much really, but enough to let Kouyou understand that he wasn't comfortable around people and that he didn't trust anyone, not anymore. They talked like friends, sometimes letting silence linger between them, and Aoi was often surprised to see that he liked this, feeling comfortable enough with someone to share his thoughts.

He found himself staring at Kouyou's profile as the sky was perfectly dark now and the full moon lightened them, his forehead, the delicate nose, the beautiful curve of his lips... He felt distracted for some minutes, and forced himself to focus on what Kouyou was saying, as he talked about his family meeting, and told how much he would have like to not attend it.

  
« You shouldn't let them put you down, Kouyou. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have been strong enough to choose the life you wanted, and they should be aware of that. It's a thing they should be proud of you for. »

Kouyou nodded half heartedly

« I wish they were...I wish they could at least accept and respect my choices. » He sighed.

Aoi found out that he didn't like when Kouyou was sad, and decided to switch topics.

« I am a bit curious about your two friends. You said they were in love for years before they finally spoke to each other tonight ? But in all those years, they didn't date anyone else ? »

  
« Oh, yes, unfortunately, they did... Taka had been dating a girl from the restaurant where we usually take our breakfast lunches, for a while. He didn't believe that Yutaka was interested in him so he tried to get over his crush for him. That didn't work. Even if the girl was beautiful and smart, each time they were seeing each other Taka found something new he didn't like about her. It was ridiculous, because honestly, the only thing that wasn't right with her for Taka was that she wasn't Yutaka. He broke up with her. Just to realize the week after that Yutaka was dating a guy from a band he went to see live with Akira. As Yutaka was broken hearted that Taka was with someone else, he decide to give it a try. It was a disaster, Taka was mad about the whole world and the entire universe, and Yutaka was unhappy because the guy he dated had a really pretty face...But was stupid like hell. They broke up pretty quickly, but the guy was in love with Yutaka and he harrassed him for long months at work, sending him flowers, calling him all the time. After that they both decided to stay single... Hoping for the other to move first. If only they had listened to me, they would be an old couple now ! »

  
Aoi chuckled, feeling happy to see Kouyou smile so wide while he was talking about his friends.

« Happily ever after ? You believe in this kind of childish tales ?»

« Kinda. I always knew they were meant to be. » Kouyou smiled, a bit embarrassed now. « I do believe that there's a special someone for everyone. That you need to have someone waiting for you, because what would be the meaning of life without it ? »

  
Aoi was looking at him, something painful in his eyes.

« I used to believe it, too. I don't anymore. It's too hard, when you understand that you're nobody's special someone. I don't want to live waiting for this to happen and never fulfill the expectation. Sometimes you have to grow up and accept that you're never going to have this. And find other goals to reach. »

  
Kouyou cleared his voice. He had to make something, anything, because soon they would come back to the hotel and part ways. He couldn't let the other man go without telling him how he felt. He had already almost lost him few hours ago and his heart was still aching at the thought. He couldn't get back to his life knowing that he would never meet him again. It hurt too much to think about it. He was sure Aoi was important for him, he was sure Aoi had to have a place in his future. But how the hell was he going to do ? He didn't want to get him mad again, or to give him the wrong idea.

  
« I... would like to tell you something. But I'm scared...that you could not take this as I mean it. Will you please listen to me and let me finish before yelling at me and leave ? » his smile was hesitant.

  
« … Okay ?... »

  
« When you entered the hotel's bar this afternoon... I... I don't know how to explain what I felt the moment I saw you. You walked in, and suddenly I had to know you. » Kouyou's thoughtful eyes met Aoi's confused ones. « I still don't understand what happened there, but what I know is that I don't want you to disappear. I don't know what this person has done to you, and it's none of my business, but I hate to see you so unsure, so scared about just being friendly with someone. I swear I'd want to punch anyone in the face for making you sad and so jaded. »

He was rambling now, his frustration of not being able to explain what he was feeling so deep in his guts getting the best of his nerves.

  
At his surprise, Aoi laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief.

«You're cute, Kouyou, really. But you're talking nonsense. You don't know anything about me, and if you did I doubt that you would want to have anything to do with me. I'm not a funny guy, I don't know if I'm even bearable to be honest. I don't know what made you feel like this, but such things only happen in fairy tales or dramas, I'm sorry. »

He got up from the swing, and put on his hand to help Kouyou to do the same. They were face to face now, Kouyou still held his hand firmly, and he got closer to him, looking at him straight in the eyes, his face serious.

  
« So... You would be ready to just leave things like this ? Not even give me a chance to try to prove you that there could be... something special...? »

« Kouyou, I... This isn't a good idea... I- »

« Shhhhh... »

Kouyou's other hand was now stroking softly his cheek, coaxing him to accept the gesture, and surprisingly so, it worked.

The touch was soothing and calming, and Kouyou must have felt it because he was leaning on him, whispering in his hear

« I would never hurt you or take advantage on you, Aoi. Just let me ... » And he caught his lips so sweetly, so kindly, just locking them with his in the gentlest kiss Aoi had ever received.

His head was spinning, Kouyou's mouth, warm and soft, still tasting a bit like the mint and chocolate ice-cream he had for dessert, didn't want to let go. There was nothing Aoi could do to force himself out of the kiss, because for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt at peace, he felt he was where he belonged. Kouyou's arms slowly wrapped around his waist, and he let his lips go, kissing his forehead next. Aoi hid his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. Kouyou smelt really good, and he was feeling more giddy now than what he had felt after all the beers he drank earlier.

  
« You're not mad at me, aren't you ? » Kouyou's tone was unsure.

  
Aoi chuckled softly, still hidden against his shoulder, and shook his head no. Kouyou's heart melted at the sound, and he felt really proud of himself for once. He intertwined his fingers with Aoi's, kissing him on the temple. « Maybe we should come back to the hotel now ? » Aoi nodded, and they began to walk back, Aoi's fingers still held tightly by Kouyou's strong hand.

  
They remain silent until they arrived at the little iron gate. When they entered the terrace, Kouyou spotted the man he saw in the afternoon, the one who called his wife and told her he missed her so much, flirting shamelessly with the arrogant lady with high heals.

He frowned and glared at them, before turning to Aoi, who looked surprise to see him so stern.

« Is there something wrong ? »

« Not really. I just can't stand liars and cheaters. »

Aoi was confused, and when Kouyou explained him while they were waiting for the elevators. Aoi shook his head.

« You don't live in the real world, Kouyou. Everybody lies, all the time. That's how people are. »

« I'm not a liar, and I promise to never lie to you. »

His tone was so solemn Aoi couldn't help but smile, his cheeks a pretty pink color.

« You know you're really weird, right ? »

  
As they were about to reach their rooms, both located on the second floor, they stood awkwardly in the middle of the hallway. Kouyou began to grow nervous. He didn't want to let Aoi go. But he didn't want to spoil any of the things that happened between them on a misunderstanding. He took a long breath. 

« I don't want to let you go. »

Aoi tensed up.

« Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to seduce you. I am not a one night stand man . I just want to s, as long as I can. » tay with you, as long as I can."

He locked his eyes with Aoi's.

« Would you come with me, maybe we could watch a movie on tv or listen to music, and chat a bit more, if I promise to be the perfect gentleman ? »

Aoi hesitated, clearly distressed by the choice he had to make. It wasn't like him to accept to follow a total stranger in his hotel room with a mere promise... But weirdly enough, he trusted Kouyou, and more important, he didn't want to let him go either. Beside, he didn't want to be alone again, and he knew he wouldn't find sleep anytime soon.

« I know it's hard to believe, especially when you've been through difficult time with wrong people, but not anyone is bad, you know ? I would propose you to tie me up to the bed if it could reassure you, but I'm afraid I would appear as kinky » Kouyou said, trying to lighten up the mood.

Aoi breathed finally.

« I am going to my room now... » Aoi was almost happy to see the crestfallen look on Kouyou's pretty face. « Because I want to have a shower and change into something more comfortable. If you don't mind giving me your room number, I will join you after. »

The smile he received was enough for him to know that he chose the right thing to do.

Kouyou entered his room, cleaned a bit the mess he had left on the afternoon, and put some comfy football shorts and an old band tee shirt. He was anxious, not sure if Aoi was going to show up at all. What if he freaked out and decided to change his mind and stay safely in his room ? What if he was never going to see him again ? He was lounging on his bed, switching channels nervously on the little tv, when someone knocked at the door.

He jumped out of the bed, and opened the door enthusiastically.

« Hey »

« Hey » Aoi smiled at him. His hair were still wet and he wore a black tee shirt and black jogging pants that hung low on his thin hips.

« I was afraid you weren't going to come... »

« I wasn't sure... But I'm here. » He looked shy now.

  
Kouyou gestured him to enter and to sit on the bed.

« It seems that there's a movie beginning in 5 minutes on this channel, wanna give it a try ? »

They ended up sitting with their back on the headboard of the bed, watching the beginning of an old vampire movie.

Kouyou had caught Aoi's hand delicately as soon as they were settled, and he was softly strocking the back of it with his thumb. He tried to focus on what was going on on the screen. Aoi was anything but focused. Kouyou's thumb was distracting him a lot, and as the movie went on, he realised he craved his touch more than he would never admit it. He got closer, and finally put his head against Kouyou's shoulder, earning a surprised look from him, and the sweetest grin ever.

« I was trying to think of a way to get you closer, and here you are... »

Aoi blushed. And Kouyou fell for him even deeper.

« You know that I will never want to let you go, right ? »

« I'm not going anywhere...for now »

Kouyou couldn't resist anymore.

He closed the little gap between their faces and kissed him softly again, still a simple innocent kiss, nothing forceful or agressive, almost as light as a stroke. And Aoi decided he liked it, the way Kouyou treated him as if he was made of glass, the way he handled him with such care. He still couldn't understand what was going on between the two of them, but he found out he was content with it. Even if it lasted for this night only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious about your thoughts, don't be shy! Kudos and comments are obviously the best way to let me know how you feel about this story.   
> I plan to post updates each saturday, so see you next week!  
> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Farewell and drama...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's chapter 3!  
> And the first (and quick) appearance of Akira... We will see more of him later, but I'm afraid he won't be taking a very active role in the whole story. Sorry for this^^  
> More drama to come, hehe...  
> Enjoy!

> _"Maybe it's one where time will tell_

_Maybe it's one where it's just fare-thee-well"_

 

_Aimee Mann, Build that Wall, From Magnolia's soundtrack._

 

 

They fell asleep before the end of the movie, Aoi's head still on Kouyou 's shoulder.

When he woke up in the middle of the night, the tv was still playing. Kouyou was careful not to disturb Yuu in his sleep and got up to switch off the tv, and empty his bladder. On his way back from the bathroom, Kouyou spotted the belongings Aoi had put on the nightstand beside him. He smiled, while an idea popped in his groggy head.

After he put back Aoi's phone on the nightstand, he got back to bed near him, pulling on the covers on both of them. The moonlight illuminated the whole room, leaving soft shadows on Aoi's gorgeous face. Kouyou sighed, suddenly sad. He knew he was going to have to let him go in a few hours, and it was something he wasn't ready for. But maybe... maybe...

*******************************************************************

Takanori woke up with a hungover. Surprisingly. Because he hadn't drink anything else than a single beer.

He felt like he just had been munched and spat. He looked like it, too. He swallowed a lonely cup of shitty coffee, took a burning shower and got dressed in the first things that he could put his hands on in his closet. And as he decided that he was definitely not ready to face this day, he put some oversized shades on, took Koron for a quick morning walk and headed for the radio's building, his headache becoming worse and a painful twisted knot in his belly.

 

Yutaka hadn't sleep at all. He had cried all night, heartbreak, sadness, frustration, humiliation, anger and disappointment a terrible mix in his twirling mind.

He wanted so much to avoid facing the day to come. But he knew he couldn't and just get himself dressed, after a cold shower. And as he parked himself in front of the radio's building, he felt like throwing up.

They arrived at the same time in front of the main door, too embarrassed to look at each other. Takanori mumbled a vague « 'morning », Yutaka didn't even bother to answer. They entered the building, and unlike what they usually did – greeting cheerfully, chatting and laughing and just being happy to finally be together again after a lonely night appart from each other- they just went separate ways as soon as they could.

Takanori's belly feeling like it was full of cement, and Yutaka making a stop at the men's bathroom to throw up.

 

*******************************************************************

The sun was shining brightly through the window, and it took Aoi some minutes to remember where he was. And whose shoulder he was sleeping on. He opened his eyes slowly, and find himself staring at Kouyou's face. He was still deeply asleep. Aoi sighed. He had to get up and leave, he wanted to arrive not too late where he was heading for, because he had to have everything set up in his new appartment. He wanted to have everything ready for the next day before he would have to begin his new job. He didn't want to woke Kouyou up, but he had to, because he knew he still had to drive to his family's house.

He stroke Kouyou's arm softly, his voice a bit hoarse.

« Hey...Kouyou...wake up ! »

« Mmmmmhhhhh.... » Kouyou buried his face in his pillow. Aoi chuckled at the young man childish behaviour.

« Wake up, you lazy dork. It's time to get up and get yourself ready for your family meeting, remember ? »

« Raaaaaaaa.... Don't want to go.... » Kouyou's voice was muffled by the pillow.

« Okay, spoilt brat ! As a thank you for last evening's diner, I will offer you breakfast. But if you're not ready in five minutes, I will be gone. »

« I'm ready, I'm ready ! » Kouyou jumped out of the bed quickly, nearly tripping on his own feet in the process. He ran to the bathroom.

« Don't go, ok ? I'm gonna be quick ! »

Aoi just smiled at him.

 

As they came out of their bedroom twenty minutes later, hand in hand, Kouyou's bag on his shoulder, they passed in the hallway by a doorframe where a couple was kissing fiercely. They stopped a bit embarrassed when they saw they had an audience. Kouyou recognized the blond man and the woman in high heels from yesterday. He shook his head disaprovingly, while Aoi just laughed silently at Kouyou's stern behaviour.

After having stopped at Aoi's room to get his bags, they took their belongings in their respective cars, and found each other in the hotel's bar once more. Aoi ordered them coffee, eggs, toasts and bacon, and more toasts and jam, when he saw Kouyou's enthusiasm for the breakfast he was offered. He chuckled again.

« You're such a kid, Kouyou ! I never saw someone enjoying a breakfast that much ! »

« Hey don't make fun of me ! First, I enjoy it because I feel like I won't be able to eat for lunch with all my family gawking at my new soon-to-be brother in law -I already hate him and don't even know the guy- and then... I enjoy it because you're offering me breakfast, and as it's the first gift I get from you, I obviously am happy ! »

« Oh come on, Kouyou, don't be so negative ! Maybe you'll get along just fine with the guy ! »

« I doubt it. He's so brilliant and rich and handsome and smart, according to my sister, nothing I can be compared to, really … Besides, he's a gynecologist, so it doesn't give us that much topics to talk about, right ? » Kouyou laughed whole heartedly, while Aoi shook his head with a smirk.

« You know, Kouyou » he replied in a softest voice. « I'm happy I've met you here. It was a nice escape from reality. Thank you. »

Kouyou was suddenly serious.

« Maybe... Maybe we could meet again, somewhere else, someday ? » his eyes were pleading.

« I don't think it would be a good idea... No, Kouyou. Don't look at me with those eyes, please don't. What we had here... Whatever it was... It is precious to me because it was temporary, just a shared moment somewhere in between real life and dream, you see what I mean ? »

Kouyou nodded weakly, a lump beginning to form in his throat. He was not hungry anymore.

« I don't want you to be sad, right ? I don't think it's healthy to have a crush on someone you don't know at all, you deserve better than that. Soon you'll find someone as sweet as you are, and you'll have your happily ever after. But it won't be me. It had never been. Get this out of your head. Don't make me regret the choice I made when I came to you last night. Don't spoil the moment, okay ? »

Aoi took Kouyou's hands in his, stroking the back of them with his thumbs, much like Kouyou had done the night before.

« And eat your eggs before they got cold. » He smiled again to the young man.

 

They were both standing awkwardly in the parking. Aoi took Kouyou's hand again, intertwining their fingers.

« Thank you, Kouyou... For being so nice with me, for saying all these things to me. »

Kouyou smiled sadly.

« You're welcome. You're supposed to be my happily ever after, remember ? »

Aoi smiled sadly too.

« You're so stubborn. Did you listen to what I tried to tell you at all ? »

«Stubborn isn't always bad, you know ? Because sometimes it gets you where you want to be. At least I had you to warm my sheets, right ? »

Aoi shook his head, a small grin still on his handsome face.

« You're unbelievable »

« Can we make a bet ? »

« Hu ? »

« We make a bet. I know we are meant to be together, and that we'll meet again soon. I make the bet we'll talk to each other very soon. If we do, will you believe me ? Will you give us a chance ? »

Aoi looked at him disbelievingly.

« Okay, okay, if we do, I will consider it. »

« Deal ! »

Kouyou didn't seem so sad anymore. A boyish grin appeared on his face, and Aoi thought it was the loveliest sight he had seen in months. He got closer to the young man, and on an impulse he grabbed Kouyou's face into his hands, and pressed their lips together. Kouyou looked surprised, his eyes widening in shock, but soon he was shutting them close, getting lost in the moment. This kiss wasn't like the previous ones they exchanged, soft and innocent. This one was deep, slow, bittersweet, and a bit desperate too. It left them breathless and shaky, forehead against forehead, trying to get the best of the minutes they still had.

« Goodbye, Kouyou. Have a safe trip to your parent's. And don't let them bring you down. »

« Goodbye, Aoi. Take care of yourself, okay ? Until we meet again, I mean. »

« Stubborn brat. »

« Unbeliever.»

Kouyou winked, but Aoi could see his eyes were a bit too shiny.

« I know you're the one. »

And he walked backward until he was at his car's door. He got inside and started his engine, and after a last glance in Aoi's direction, he was gone.

Aoi could feel his eyes were watering a bit, and he blamed it on the pollens.

 

Kouyou's drive to his family's house went smoothly. He was surprisingly at peace with himself, even if he had shed some tears while leaving the parking. He knew something Aoi didn't, and it was making things less difficult for him. If he hadn't know this, he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to leave Aoi at all. As he was stopping the car in front of the huge beautiful house belonging to his family, he began to feel nervous, thinking on how Aoi would react at what he was about to do.

 _Unknown number_  :Just arrived. I miss you already.

He decided to make his text short. His heart was beating fast, and he couldn't wait for Aoi to reply. If he would. Was he going to ignore him ? He would be so fucked up if he did.

Some minutes passed. 

 _Aoi :_  Kouyou ?  

He smiled, his relief easing the pain he felt in his guts while waiting for an answer. 

 _Unknown number_  :Yeah ? 

 _Aoi_ :I can't believe you. How the fuck did you get my number ?  

 _Unknown number_  : It doesn't matter. Are you mad at me ?  

 _Aoi_ :I don't know.

 _Aoi_  :Maybe.

 _Aoi_ : Yes. I am mad.

 

 _Unknown number_  :Please don't. 

 _Unknown number_  :Remember our bet ?  

 _Aoi_  :I have no Alzheimer yet Kouyou. We spoke about it some hours ago. But you didn't win the bet. You cheated. 

 _Unknown number_  : I did not. I'm not a cheater. I just knew things you didn't, but sometimes you have to give chance some boost.  

 _Aoi_  :I am going to have to change my number, now. 

Kouyou swallowed. 

 _Unknown number_  :I'd be devastated if you did. I promise you I won't harass you, and I won't call you neither. Just send messages when I will miss you. Don't take this away from me. Please.

  _Aoi_  :Will think about it. Must go now. 

 _Unknown number_  : Okay. Take care.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Usually, Yutaka would come to work with Takanori as soon as he had checked his post mails and his schedule for the day, and cleared all of his managing related work in his office. He would come to the tech room, his laptop under his arm, and would bring with him some coffee and delicious pastries he would have bought on his way.

At the beginning, Yutaka and Taka were both radio technicians and programmers for the newly created Radio Jack, a rock music themed radio. It was the smallest studio of the building, which contained several most important radios, with different thematics ( sport, popular music, classical music or news).

Not long after they began to work here, RJ's manager got sick and was away for several months. The radio's building big boss asked Yutaka to do the manager's tasks until they found a solution to replace him. Yutaka ended up doing the job while still doing his actual work, and he happened to be better at it than the previous manager. When this one finally got better and came back to work, the old man found it easier to just stay in his office doing the administrative tasks and to let Yutaka keep on the good job, giving him free rein to do whatever he wanted to take care of the always increasing audiences.

Yutaka began with firing Kathy, the main radio host who was running a live broadcoast show on afternoons. The guy was unmanageable to work with, always terribly late, always doing only what he wanted, never following any instructions. Yutaka had warned him several times, and ended up replacing him one day where he was once again late by Akira, who had a small show with Kouyou on mornings and happened to still be there at the time where Kathy's was supposed to be aired. Akira gave an impromptu show, helped by Yutaka and Takanori. When Kathy showed up later this afternoon, he got so mad seeing he had been replaced, he almost hit Yutaka. Who filled a report to the big boss, leading to Kathy's transfer to the news' radio.

It hadn't help Kathy's case that he had been trying to get in Taka's pants since day one...

From this day on, Akira kept the afternoon show, Yutaka gave him _carte blanche_ to make it his own, and it became popular really quickly. People were calling endlessly to interact with him and ask for special songs, or ask him advices. Akira's friendly behaviour and humour won the heart of his audience, and his growing popularity had him winning the favours of the big boss too.

Kouyou kept the morning show, and Yutaka gave him more broadcasting time and the same freedom he gave Akira. Kouyou's show was more about musicians and the way they played, he was programming the music he loved and could talk about it for hours, witch gained him a steady audience for his time slot and the respect of all the others radio hosts.

Yutaka was overworking himself though, doing two jobs at the same time, so Taka began to take some of his tasks to help him, and soon became Yutaka's essential right hand. The four of them were a solid and reliable team, they loved to work together and were very supportive with each others.

 

But this morning, though, Takanori find himself being alone behind his console mix, working on the show's schedules for the days. Kouyou's show had been recorded for the three days where he would be gone, so he hadn't anything special to do before Akira's show in the afternoon except... Well except helping Yutaka, as he always did. But Yutaka hadn't come out of his office, and his usually always-opened door was closed. Ruki frowned. He couldn't let Yutaka do all the work without helping him, or he would still be there until the night came. He caught his phone and called his friend's office, his stomach tied in a compact knot.

« Yes ? »

« Hu... it's Taka. Do you want me to check the gifts Akira will distribute during his show ? Or talk with the boss for the next RJ's advertising campaigns ? »

« That won't be necessary. I'll handle this myself. Do your job, and go home. »

Takanori couldn't answer, Yutaka had already hung up. He felt like crying again. Yutaka had never been that cold. He missed him so much. He didn't know what to do to fix up all the things he fucked up, from his almost relationship with Yutaka, to their precious friendship, or the alchemy they had when they worked together...

He felt miserable.

He sat behind the console and took his head in his hands. His life sucked.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Kouyou entered the house's park (the park's huge gates were open) and decided not to enter by the front door.

He knew his mother would probably be in the kitchen for now, preparing everything for the family lunch, and he wanted to see her first. He took the little alley that leaded to the back of the house, and found the back door of the kitchen wide open too. He stopped there and looked at the woman who was turning her back on him, busy baking what looked like Kouyou's favorite chocolate and almond cake. He could catch glimpses of her gorgeous face, and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to hug her. Of all the members of his family, his mother was the only one who had always supported him, in each and any of the decisions he made.

He chuckled softly, making her jump and turning quickly.

« This house would be so easy to rob, I swear ! All the doors are wide opened... »

« Kouyou ! Oh my god- you scared me to death ! Bad boy ! » And she ran to him, threw her arms around his neck and Kouyou felt like he was ten again, coming back from an awful day at school and earning his mother's love for being such the best boy, as she always told him. They hugged longly, the woman giggling while Kouyou told her how much he had missed her. She pulled out of their embrace to look at him closely.

« You don't eat properly, baby boy. I should ground you for not taking care of the beautiful body I gave you ! »

« And you look exhausted, Mom. I'm sure your tyrannical family makes you work too much, don't they ? »

Her face grew serious.

« Always so sensitive, too. I'm glad you're here, Kouyou, because there were things I wanted to tell you, and this is a part of it. We'll talk about this a bit later, if you don't mind ? »

Kouyou grew concerned at the tone of her voice

« You aren't sick, aren't you ? Don't tell me- »

« Always so dramatic too, baby boy ! You hang out too much with Takanori, for sure ! I'm not sick, don't worry. I'm the healthiest woman of the country ! Just take a sit and chat with me while I finish this cake, will you ? »

Kouyou smiled at his mother, a bit relieved. He took a sit in a corner of the kitchen, and watched his mother as she kept on cooking. None of them talked, just enjoying to be together finally.

« Hope your son won't be late as always. I asked him to be on time, but as he never listens to me... »

His father's distinguished voice came from the kitchen's door, from where he couldn't see Kouyou.

« OUR son has already arrived for quite some time, now » his mother's voice was full of reproach.

Kouyou got up tensely from his chair.

« Good morning, father. »

« Good afternoon, Kouyou. I know you don't have to wake up early to do the kind of job you do, but it's a bit late for a 'good morning', don't you think ? »

« For the record, father, my radio show airs at 9 so I actually have to go to the radio early to get everything ready for it. And in 'afternoon', there is 'after' and 'noon', and it's only half past eleven, so it's a bit early for a 'good afternoon' too. »

Kouyou sensed his mother tense at their exchange, but he couldn't regret answering this way.

« You didn't stop being a smartass, did you ? »

They hadn't been in the same room for more than two minutes and he had already pissed off his father. Great.

« Hey mom, did you see my red dress ? I just can't seem to find it any- Oh, hey Kouyou ! » a young woman in pajamas had stepped hurridly into the kitchen. She stopped when she saw him.

« Hey Aiko. »

He stepped forward to hug her. He had always been surprised how they could be so different and not get along at all... Twin siblings were supposed to be connected in some deep way, right ? He wished they had some strong bond together, but it was obviously not the case. They had never really been fighting together, they just were... indifferent. He knew that fact pained their mother, but he couldn't bring himself to act like if he adored his sister.

« Your dress is hung on your closet, dear. Where's Mariko ? » His mother asked. « You know I wanted to talk to you all before Alan arrived. »

« She's at the office. She still had some important reports to finish before she comes. You know she can't possibly leave unfinished work, right ? She's such an important member of our crew. Maybe she won't be able to be here before we've reached the dessert, but she'll catch up on us. »

His mother sighed, and Kouyou exchanged a look with his twin sister. He saw the same bitterness in her eyes he could feel in his heart. He knew he probably shouldn't speak, but he couldn't refrain.

« Oh, so I had to be there on time no matter what, even with the distance I had to drive from, but Mariko -who lives here, tell me if I'm wrong- won't even be there with us to meet our soon-to-be brother in law ? »

His father sent him a death glare.

« You can't compare yourself with Mariko. Her work is-

« Hey everybody ! Hi Dad, mom ! Hey Kouyou ! How was the drive ? » Mariko entered the room, quickly giving a peck on her mother's cheek and a professional-like hug to her brother... And ignoring her sister, just like she always did. She didn't seem to notice her mother's frown. The young woman wore a strict grey skirt suit and a white blouse, looking like the perfect business lawyer she was.

« Mariko ! Glad you could finish your report and join us ! I was just going to explain your brother the difference between your work and the hippy hobby he calls a job... »

« You were rather explaining me Mariko could have an excuse to skip the family meeting while I -with my hippy hobby and all- couldn't... »

« You could have say no if it's bothering you so much, you know » his father's voice was threatening, now.

« I couldn't. Not when you guilt tripped me because I acted like if I wasn't a part of the family and told me how much of a disapointment I was for my own mother... » Kouyou replied bitterly.

« What did you just say ? » Kouyou's mother's tone was harsh, her brow so furrowed she looked suddenly older than she actually was. She had abruptly stopped icing the cake, putting down the spatula she had in her hand.

« I...hu... » Kouyou was confused. He wasn't use to see her mother looking so... angry ?

She turned her eyes towards her husband.

« Did you tell Kouyou he was a disapointment for _ME_? »

« Well, I just tried to convince him that it would be good if he just wanted to let his stupid job aside and come to share this lunch with us... » His father looked confused too, and not surpringly so. Kouyou's mother was ALWAYS showing a serene and happy face, she never let her nerves taking control and has always been the perfect wife and mother to them. If she was hurt or upset, she usually didn't let it show.

« You did. » She stated coldly.

« And you thought it was okay to tell him this, without even asking me how I was feeling about this ? »

She was beginning to raise her voice now, her eyes burning with anger.

« Kouyou had NEVER been a disapointment for me. NEVER. If I'm being honest, Kouyou is probably the person I'm the most proud of, out of all of you. He had always stood up for what he wanted, always fought for who he wanted to be, and believe me it's not an easy task when you're a part of this family. »

« I just wanted to- »

She didn't let him talk.

« Can you imagine how hard it had been for him to decide he didn't want to be the perfect son you wanted him to be ? The son who would become just like his father ? Did you thought a minute about how difficult it must have been to see his eldest sister doing everything to run over him and to become the one he was supposed to be, attracting all the love and pride of their father in the process ? Or how painful it was to have a twin sister so popular and adored, while he struggled with bullying at school, while she was so embarrassed to have him as a brother that she asked to change school under a false excuse ? »

Everybody was frozen.

She wiped her forehead with her hand.

« Did you think I was blind ? I'm just regretting I didn't do anything against it at the time. I thought Kouyou would be okay if I kept on taking care of him. And I think he is now, because he finally got out of here, out of your all your twisted ways. And he's the only one of you all who texts me daily to ask how I am, to tell me about his day. The only one. And he's not even living here. He has always been the most caring and loving. And you... »

She looked at her petrified husband again, pointing a finger at him

« I am going to tell you what disapointment feels. Because you know, last evening you were supposed to meet some very important clients here. And you asked me to prepare a splendid diner for them, and to set up a beautiful table, and to dress up properly, like an important lawyer's wife would do. So I spent the last two days getting everything ready, just like I always do. Everything was ready indeed, and I was waiting for you all to arrive, the diner warm, all dolled up with my perfect wife's attire. And I waited. And waited. To finally have a call from your assistant, two hours after the schedule you gave me -insisting I had to be on time with diner because it was so important- to tell me that you were actually heading to a restaurant near your office because your client would rather have some traditional italian food …THAT's fucking disapointment ! To not being shown any respect by my own family. Neither of you thought I could be mad or hurt by your behaviour ? »

She was shouting. And using curse word. Kouyou couldn't remember a time when he'd saw her that angry.

She stopped and looked at them. One by one. And then she shook her head, and spoke more quietly.

« I had planned to talk to you all about something. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but I guess it doesn't matter. I'm fed up with the way I live now. I've played the role of the perfect wife and mother, I've been the dutiful housewife. I stopped my studies after I got pregnant with Mariko. I thought it wasn't a big deal because, well, that's what women usually do. But today I'm not happy with the life I'm living. I want to be something else. I made my choice, and I want to come back to university and get the philosophy master I once dreamt of. »

Deep silence fell in the room. Then

« But...Who's going to take care of the house and... of everything ? » Mariko asked, looking lost, and earning a glare from her younger sister.

« You're such a selfish bitch, Mariko ! Mom is saying she's unhappy with the life she's living and the only think you can think of is who is going to take your clothes to the dry cleaner and prepare your bentos ? »

« Please watch your language, Aiko ! I won't allow you to speak-

« I'm sure father has already a solution, right ? » Kouyou interrupted his father with a quiet voice, still under the shock of his mother's words.

« I mean, a family as influent and wealthy as ours can surely hire someone to do all the domestic chores, don't you think ? So that mom can go back to uni and finally do something for her, for once. »

Silence met his words. His mother looked at him with a relieved smile.

«Thank you, Kouyou. I think it would be the best solution, too. Because I will be gone for the whole week, and on the week-ends I will probably be too busy with homeworks to take care of everything like I did before. »

« The whole week ? Gone ? »

Kouyou's father seemed to have been knocked out by the news. If Kouyou didn't hated him that much he would probably have pityed him.

« But where are you going to study ? »

« That's why I wanted you all here to talk about it. I still hadn't found somewhere to stay, so maybe... » She looked at her son expectantly « maybe you wouldn't mind if I could stay with you for some time ? Until I find something ? »

« You're going at Kouyou's ? Hey that's great, I won't be to worried if I know you're not alone in a big town with noone to look after you ! » Aiko hugged her mother, and for the first time since … forever ? Kouyou thought that his twin sister wasn't that bad after all.

Their mother laughed half heartedly.

« I can take care of myself just fine, honey. But your brother hadn't say anything yet, so... »

« I'd be glad to have you with me as long as you need it, mom ! » Kouyou smiled at her brightly.

«Yay ! It's settled, now !...Oh my god it's almost time for Alan to come and I'm not dressed up yet ! » Aiko stormed out of the kitchen.

Their father and Mariko were still looking like if a truck had hit them in the face.

« Aren't you going to say anything at all ? » Kouyou's mother asked her husband

« Why didn't you tell me before ? Why didn't we talk about this ? »

« I've tried to, I swear I tried. But you were always too busy, your work was always more important, your files always not ready enough... Remember when I asked you to take me out two months ago ? We had it planned at our favorite restaurant. You cancelled when I was already there waiting for you. I asked you for another date, some weeks later, and this time we hadn't finish our main dishes that you left in a hurry for something really urgent at the office... You don't have time for me anymore, never. Maybe if we see each other only on week-ends you'll find a way to clear time to see me ?Be grateful I do love you, because otherwise you wouldn't be going to deal with a student wife, but rather with a divorce. »

The doorbell rang.

« We should talk about this later »

« There's nothing to talk about. Now go and answer the door, please. Your future son in law is waiting. »

 

*******************************************************************

 

Akira arrived at the radio early this afternoon. He had brought with him a cottle of Champagne, sure that he was that they would have things to celebrate with Yutaka and Takanori. He went straight into the tech room, a large smile on his face... And never on hearth he thought that he could walk in the room and face the image of a distraught Takanori.

« Hey guys ! Hope i'm not interupting some- Taka ? Are you okay ? Is there something wrong? Where's Yutaka ? »

«I 'm great. Awesome. I managed to fuck up my whole fucking life in the span of ten minutes and I'm just waiting for death to come and take me now... »

Takanori's shaky voice alarmed more Akira than the dramatic answer.

« What happened ? » He caught a chair and sat down next to his friend, his worry getting worse as he saw tears welling in Taka's eyes.

« I'm such a stupid asshole... »

 

Akira couldn't believe what Takanori just told him.

« And you just let him go ? You didn't try to make things better before he left ? »

« I... I was just so mad ! And he was too, and all the things he said hurt me so much ! I couldn't think straight and just let my nerves talk... And I regret so much everything. I shouldn't have kissed Kathy. I shouldn't have yelled at Yutaka. I'm so sorry... » Takanori was too tired to cry anymore.

« This is a disaster. »

« Thanks, Akira. I think I had already get that. »

« Did you try to talk to him ? To apologize ? »

« I've called him. Three times. The first one he just told me to do my job and go home. The two others he didn't bother to answer. I'm fucked. I'm such a loser.  »

« Enough self pitying here ! Get yourself together for god's sake ! We need a plan... »

« A plan ? The guy I've been in love with for so long doesn't even want to talk to me on the phone because I've been a total ass … and you think you can find a plan ? »

« Oh please Taka, sometimes you have to fight to get want you want ! Some things don't come for free ! »

Takanori stayed silent. 'Sometimes you have to fight to get what you want ' was something Yutaka told him while they were arguing last night. Maybe he was right. Maybe Akira was too.

« You know what ? I'm gonna call Yoshi to help me for my show this afternoon. You go home, try to have some rest... You look like shit honestly, you can 't possibly win someone's heart with this face- ouch ! Don't hit me or I let you deal with this alone, chibi bastard !- and you're going to think your brains out to find a way to get Yutaka back to the lovestruck boy he still was until yesterday's night. Did you get me ? »

« I did. I will. But what if he doesn't want me any- »

« Shut up, Taka ! Just go and fight ! »

 

*******************************************************************

 

While his father was answering the door, Kouyou took his mom for an embrace.

« Thank you » he said softly « For all the things you said. And... I'm sorry. I didn't think you were unhappy. I should have known. »

« I'm not unhappy Kouyou. I...I just want to be... more. I felt a bit too much like a servant here somedays... I had to do something. I'm happy you support me. »

« Always. »

They heard strong male voices coming from the hallway.

« I'm pretty sure you won't like Alan ... » she chuckled softly.

 

And oh boy ! Was she right.

They joined the two men as soon as his mother finished -finally- the icing on Kouyou's favorite dessert. They entered the room, and Alan sat in an armchair, his back turned to kouyou. For some reason, he found the man's silhouette vaguely familiar, but didn't think it further. It was only when the man got up to shake his hand that Kouyou identified him, frozing instantly. Alan was the blond man of the hotel. 

Lunch was an awkward affair. Mariko and Takashima senior were still a bit shaken up by Kouyou's mother's outburst, who was patiently passing them all the plates with delicious food but not talking much. Kouyou didn't really know what to say, so he decided to do what was best for everyone, just shut up. Alan of course had recognized him, and he looked so uncomfortable it kinda gave Kouyou a bit of comfort.

_At least you know you're guilty, cheating bastard._

The only one who seemed oblivious to the tense mood in the room was Aiko. She'd come in the living room to join them soon after Kouyou and their mother, wearing a beautiful red dress and litteraly beaming, and she looked so happy to see her fiance Kouyou had nausea. He was sure irked that she was going to get all the praise for simply finding a man willing to marry her at first, but now was another story. Yes, they didn't get along and there has never been any real sibling relationship between them. But he still liked her in his own way, and he didn't want her to get into a marriage with a man who was already seeing another woman (women???) even before they get married.

Holy shit. How was he going to deal with this ?

Just as they finished the main dishes, Alan asked Mrs Takashima permission to leave the table and smoke a cigarette outside. As she gave him with a smile, beginning to take all the plates to the kitchen with Kouyou's help, Alan gave him an unsured smile and asked him to join him.

« Maybe we could talk a bit, as we're going to be brothers soon »

« What a great idea ! Go, Kouyou, I'll help mom with this ! » Aiko was delighted at the idea.

« Sure » Kouyou mumbled.

They went out in the garden, and Alan lit up his smoke, offering one to Kouyou who refused with a shake of his head.

« So... What a weird coincidence, hu. » the man began.

« I guess »

« Let's go straight to the point. I won't tell if you won't »

« ...Excuse me ? » Kouyou was confused.

« I saw you kissing that guy on the parking. And I saw you when you left your room with him this morning. I won't tell your family if you don't tell... about me and my friend at the hotel. You know, I really like your sister. She's great. But men have... needs... you know, and … I will make her happy, I swear. She doesn't have to know. » Alan crushed his butt under his heel. « And it's not my business, you know, that you're... gay. I understand you want to keep it for yourself. I won't out you if you stand for me. Deal ? » Alan offered him a bright smile.

Kouyou only nodded.

 

He had to do something. He didn't know before, what he was going to do... Or not do. But now he was sure he couldn' t let this asshole have his way with his sister. And his whole family. The bastard was blackmailing him. But once again, Kouyou knew something the other man ignored.

« So, Kouyou, what did you talk about with my fiancé ? » Aiko asked him when they joined the rest of the family for dessert. 

Kouyou sighed internally.

_Sorry Aiko. Truly._

He gave her a painful smile.

« Oh, nothing important, really. Alan and I were staying at the same hotel last night. Funny, right ? And he was threatening to inform you that I spent the night there with a man, if I didn't hide that I saw him there, sharing the evening and the night with a beautiful woman. »

Everybody just sat still. Eyes wide open. Alan blushed madly and looked at him with accusing eyes.

« This is not funny, Kouyou » his father said.

«It's not supposed to be, father. »

« You have a sick sense of humour, Kouyou, really » Alan said through clenched teeth.

« Oh, do I? It's too bad, you know, because my family here already knows that I'm gay. I won't say they're all happy with the fact, but at least this is something they respect and don't shame me with. So now, will you explain to us all your 'men have needs' bullshit, Alan ? I'm sure my sister would be curious to know... »

« You lie, Kouyou ! Alan would never do something like this to me. And he didn't spend the night at a hotel, he visited his old aunt who was sick and needed to be taken cared of. That's just how sweet he is » His sister was visibly mad at him. He knew it wouldn't be easy to convince her. She loved him, after all. But he saw doubt in her eyes.

« You're right, Sweetheart. Kouyou, I don't know what you're trying to do but please, we should drop that silly joke, right ? » Alan forced a smile, giving him a pointed look.

« His aunt wasn't much older than you, in my opinion. And didn't you get a phone call from him yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon ? Was he asking you to not work too much, because that was what you usually did when he wasn't around ? Did he said he would call you first thing in the morning and get back as soon as possible ? »

Aiko looked at him, her mouth agape, a look of total disbelief on her face.

« ...Yes ? »

« I know we're not close, Aiko. I know you would have prefered someone else as a brother. But you know I have never done anything to hurt you, right ? I'm really sorry, and I didn't know what to do with this information... Until he tried to blackmail me. I can't possibly let you marry this kind of manipulator without knowing who he is really. I'm sorry, again. »

« Can you explain yourself, Alan ? »

At his father's voice, Kouyou knew he had won. They believed him. But he couldn't bring himself to rejoice, because he knew he'd somehow crush his sister dream right now and there, and it wasn't something he was proud of. He excused himself and walked out of the room. He'd known from the beginning this meeting was going to be exhausting. And he hadn't had any clue of how right he was.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3!


	4. Seize the moment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Here's the weekly update of ONS. This one will be more Kouyou-Yuu centered, but I will make up for the lack of Kaiki next chapter, I promise! Hope you'll enjoy, since I spent a lot of time on it and I kinda like how it finally turned after the hard time it gave me, hehe.  
> And for once, no song extract at the beginning of the chapter, but at the end of it instead. I suggest you to listen to the Spotify playlist here :) https://open.spotify.com/user/b9x3sqtvlkiflj5sj6lmi3ig4/playlist/7bcIo5HaMEGBxUYEUNolcg.

Yutaka has had the worst morning of his whole life. No kidding.

Well, okay, maybe not the worst, but it was in his top ten.

He had tried to get things done, but his brain wouldn't want to have any of this. It kept on playing last evening's scene, and all the words they had thrown at each other. When his phone had rung earlier, he hadn't even checked who was calling before answering. Taka's hesitant tone had made his stomach burn. He didn't remember if it had ever been that... worried ? Cautious ?

Yutaka loved Takanori's voice. That was a thing he was sure of. But it lacked the usual cheerful and warm quality he had when he talked to him. Because Yutaka could always tell you he was unsure about Taka's feelings about him, he honestly knew that there was something unique between them, from only the way his friend was talking to him. He wanted so much to hear him now, but not like that... Formal, like if he was a mere co-worker, like if he was simply... the boss.

He hated this. He just ended the call as soon as he could. And spent the rest of his morning just making himself sick.

At the beginning of the afternoon he decided he needed something to drink, because he hadn't been able to eat anything and his aching stomach was killing him. He went to the break room, where some others radios' staff members were talking and having a coffee next to the vending machines. As he was trying to make his mind between some instant soup or an herbal tea, he couldn't help hearing their conversation, tensing when he recognized the voice of the man who was speaking.

« ...and we were making out rather nicely, and in my opinion the guy was really into me because he just couldn't resist the way I kissed him -you know I'm quite an expert at kissing, right ?, and he was so needy and acting like he hadn't had any for the past months, you know... He was moaning so much and I can tell he would have let me fuck him right here and then like the little bitch he is if- »

Kathy stopped talking as he'd been suddenly grabbed by his collar and pinned down the wall with a brutal shove that got his head collide violently against the hard surface. The other men around just stepped aside them, too stunned by what was happening to react.

«Shut your fucking mouth, you stupid bastard ! » Yutaka hissed under his breath.

« Waow, hey, easy, dude ! »

Kathy's arrogant face had morphed into a scared one. His head was hurting from the harsh treatment, and he would tell later that Yutaka looked so mad he'd thought for a moment that he was going to end at the hospital. It was almost funny, you know, because he'd never heard about someone who's ever had to deal with Yutaka's wrath, but now he could say he had. And wasn't that much happy with it.

« This is the last time I speak to you, get it ? You'll never talk bullshit about Taka, and will never disrespect him or call him names, okay ? Even better, you will never talk to him again. If you do, I'll broke each one of your teeth, one by one, and then I'll make sure to smash your face so much you won't be able to look at your face in a mirror without being dead frightened by the way you look. Do you understand ? » Yutaka all but growled in Kathy's face.

As a gasp came from the doorframe, Yutaka turned his eyes and found Akira and Takanori standing there, their mouth wide open and looking absolutely dumbfounded. He just sighed, returning his attention on Kathy.

« Do.You.Understand ? » He repeated slowly

« Yeah. Yeah, whatever.» Kathy mumbled.

After a last threatening glare, Yutaka released his hold on the other's clothes, who just escaped the room, passing between Akira and Taka, grumbling lowly something about psychotic people. He was shortly followed by the other staff members.

Yutaka wasn't in the mood for a hot drink anymore, and wanted nothing more than escape his friends' confused stares and be alone in his office. He stormed out of the room, without even aknowledging Akira who was calling after him, refusing to meet Takanori's confused eyes.

« What the fuck was that ? » Takanori couldn't believe what he just saw.

« The proof that Yutaka still cares enough for you that he was about to beat the shit out of Kathy because he was bad mouthing about what happened last night. » Akira chuckled.

It dawned on Takanori slowly.

« He was fighting ? For... me ? Yutaka was fighting Kathy for me ? »

« He was. Obviously. »

Waow. Takanori didn't know if he wanted to cry or laugh, honestly. Because Yutaka hadn't want to talk to him, but he'd stood up for him just now, and it was... the stupidest and most romantic thing ever. Takanori shook his head, catching back hold on himself. He couldn't wait any more. He knew he had some plan so think about because he needed to prove Yutaka how much he loved him, he couldn't give up without fighting for what he wanted.

 

***************************************

 

Kouyou had chosen to go just after the disastrous lunch.

After he had walked out of the dining room, getting shelter in his favourite place of the house, his mother's kitchen, he'd heard his father angry voice and his twin sister's arguing with Alan, and soon after he could hear the man's expensive car going out of the alley.

His mother entered the kitchen with plates in her hands, half of the cake still intact as she hadn't finish to serve it when Kouyou had dropped the bomb.

She smiled sadly at him.

« I'm sorry, mom. »

« Oh dear you don't have to be sorry for anything ! Without you your sister would have married this guy and she would have been unhappy. Of course, for now it's painful and humiliating for her, and she's not ready to see it clearly already. But she will. And she'll be gratefull to you. »

She put the plates in the sink, and the cake on the table, and came to hug him once her arms were free.

« Your father is so mad about this, he feels personnaly attacked. He is on the phone with his old friend, the boss of the hospital where Alan is working, and I can already tell you that this stupid man will be jobless tomorrow. And as your father and all his friends have so much influence, I bet he won't be able to work unless he choses to leave this town. And go far away. Good riddance, if you want my opinion, because he was so full of himself and I never liked him... »

Kouyou chuckled. For once he was happy his father had such important friends.

He was now living his parents town, driving slowly with the radio playing some soft jazz lowly. He was emotionnaly exhausted. That's how family meetings always left him. All the mixed feelings he had when he was there – he hated his father for what he was, but somehow he couldn't not love him because, well, he was still his father and even if they had never been able to communicate or understand each other, he knew the man loved him too. It was the same with his two sisters. Mariko wasn't a bad person, she just wanted to please her father and she idolized the man. And Aiko. Aiko didn't deserve what she just endured today. Yes, she was superficial and frivolous, but she did have feelings for Alan, and the bastard just broke her heart.

Before leaving he had gone to knock to his twin sister's room. She hadn't answer, and Kouyou had just spoke to her through the door, telling her he was sorry again. He had then come to say goodbye to his father and eldest sister. His father had awkwardly asked him if he wanted to stay for a few days, and Kouyou had refused. He thought Aiko would rather not have him around.

« I'm... hu... sorry I thought you were just trying to... get us upset... When you told us about Alan. But I have to apologize because even if we have arguments more often than not, I know you've never been a liar or someone to willingly hurt people. I must say that it's one thing I admire, your honesty. »

Kouyou was surprised. He couldn't remember last time his father apologized to him, if he ever did.

« Thank you... I guess ? I'm sorry I'd had to be the one to bring the bad news. Hope Aiko will feel better soon. I'm sure you all will treat her the best on the next days.»

He bowed at his father, hugged his eldest sister who hadn't said a word all along the incident, seemingly shocked about the scene. And then he joined his mother in the kitchen, promising her to come back really soon to spend a few days off as soon as he could. She also gave him a huge basket with all sorts of canned food as well as some leftovers and the half cake from lunch.

« It's your favourite, right ? You will share it with Takanori and your friends. And you have to eat more, okay ? Take care of yourself, babyboy. And call me when you're there... I will begin to set up everything to be ready when my university classes will begin, and I'll tell you as soon as I know more about it, okay ? … Oh, and I know it's none of my business, but... Was that guy at the hotel someone you're dating ? »

Kouyou had shaken his head, smiling at her mother and hugging her tightly.

« I wish he was... I'm trying my best for this... »

Kouyou decided he wouldn't go straight to his place. He had already drove four hours and didn't feel like doing it more. It was beginning to rain. He felt weirdly melancholic and didn't want to find himself alone in his appartment...

Taka would likely spend his evening at Yutaka, and he briefly wonder why his friend hadn't updated him on the situation. But he smiled and decided the two of them were probably busy catching up all the time they've been oggling at each other without daring to confess their feelings. On an impluse, he decided to come back to the hotel where he spent last night... Regretting he hadn't booked the same room on the morning. Maybe if he had the staff would just have let his sheets on his bed, and he would have slept with Aoi's lingering scent tonight. That would have been sweet. He missed the man.

He decided he would text him while having a beer at the hotel's bar.

There were a lot of cars on the little hotel's parking. Kouyou struggled to find a place to park his car amongst them. He took his bag, relieved that the rain was taking a break, and headed straight to the reception desk, where the same young woman was working. He asked for a single room and the girl answered apologectically with a tired smile that all the rooms were already taken.

« Are you sure ? I mean... I'm tired and I don't want to drive further...»

« Sorry, sir, I can't do anything for you unluckily. May I recommend you- »

Kouyou's attention was caught by a silhouette that had just appeared in the hallway next the desk. The man stopped, stunned. Just like in a dream, Kouyou found Aoi standing by the doorframe, their eyes wide open in pure disbelief.

« Excuse me sir, but would you like me to recommend some other nearby hotels so that you could find a room ? »

The woman at the reception desk asked again, clearly confused of what was happening.

« Oh...hu...yes, please ? I guess ? »

Kouyou was so confused he didn't know where he was anymore. The woman wrote some hotels names and addresses on a sheet of paper and handle it to Kouyou. He thanked her without looking at her. The two men hadn't spoke a word but hadn't break eye contact neither, both too amazed to do anything else than stare at each other.

« I don't understand ? What are you still doing here?» Kouyou finally uttered.

« My car refused to leave this morning. I am lucky there's a mechanic not too far away, he said it should be fixed on tomorrow morning. I do hope so because I've got a meeting at my new workplace the day after. What about you ? Shouldn't you be at your parent's place now ? Did something happened ? »

Kouyou couldn't say how much Aoi's worried tone was making him happy. He smiled.

« It's a long story. Can I offer you a beer again maybe?»

They sat at the same exact table they'd had their diner and breakfast not so long ago. They stayed silent for a moment, drinking their beer and looking at each other, not talking already. They were still shocked to find each other here again.

Kouyou couldn't believe his luck, smiling like a kid under a Christmas tree, and Aoi was still wondering what he could do to stop the frantics beatings of his heart. What was this all about ? Of course he was happy to see Kouyou again, but that was no big dea l, right ?

Then Kouyou began to tell Aoi about the family meeting and the appearance of the blond man as his twin sister's fiancé. Aoi listened to him, watching him intently, still dazed by Kouyou's unexpected return. He thought he would never see Kouyou again -and that wasn't the reason why he had felt so... forlorn all day. It was because of his car's trouble. Really.

And now Kouyou was here, and he was too. And he felt weirdly better.

« Waow. That's... Weird, right ? I mean who would have thought this guy could be your future brother-in-law ? And what if you hadn't saw him here ? What kind of coincidence is that ? »

« Yeah right ? By the way, I begin to think everything that happened here was much about fate than coincidence... »

He winked and smiled at Aoi, who couldn't do anything but smile back. Fate. Hu. He'd never believed in fate, and he was pretty sure the universe had no big plans for him. But he had to admit that meeting Kouyou tonight was kind of a good surprise.

« I'm starving. Do you want to go somewhere to eat?»

He was relieved Kouyou dropped the fate subject. And he was trying his best to act casual, while he was delighted at the idea of spending some more time with the young man again. But as much as he wanted this, he couldn't forget he had things to do the day after.

« Hu, I don't know. It's really raining now, and I'd rather not going out. I have to get up really early tomorrow morning, the mechanic is supposed to bring my car at the break of dawn. »

Kouyou looked defeated. He sighed.

« Ah, I see. I thought maybe we could spend some time together since... We weren't supposed to meet again... But I guess I have to go now, because they have no room left for me here and I should try somewhere else. I won't be able to drive more tonight... »

Aoi reacted quickly at Kouyou's disenchanted speech. He wasn't going to let Kouyou go like this.

« You look dead tired. You were right to make a stop here to spend the night. It would be dangerous for you to drive all the way back to home in this state. »

He paused, and without thinking it further, his mouth went on on its own.

« Wanna have a sleepover ? »

Kouyou was so surprised he choked on his drink.

« Wait, what ? Are you really... inviting me to share your room ? »

Aoi giggled at Kouyou's reaction.

« If you promise me to keep your gentleman's behaviour of course ! »

«I  Promise ! I promise ! Oh thank you so much Aoi ! I didn't feel like running everywhere to find a room ! You're saving me ! »

« It's fine, really. But I guess we have no choice but ordering pizzas again as it's the only food they have at the bar. And I wasn't hungry for pizzas tonight... »

Kouyou's face lit up.

« And what about some leftovers of Takashima's buffet ? Are you in for an indoor picnic Aoi ? »

They ended up in Aoi's room, pushing a bit the furniture in order to have some place to organize their impromptu picnic. Kouyou had returned to his car to grab the basket full of leftovers and food -and the chocolate cake. They had run into the hotel's bar and asked the barman to let them borrow glasses, plates and cuttlery, as well as to allow them to reheat the leftovers in his microwave oven.

It was usually forbidden to eat in the bedrooms, and to bring his own food even more so, and the barman was a bit reluctant to let them do. Luckily for them the guy liked pretty boys and the fact that Kouyou begged him, flashing him his best smile and using his puppy look, plus the expensive price of the bottle of wine Aoi ordered for them to share, just won the man's agreement.

They finally reached their room with their warm diner and a bottle of delicious french wine, Kouyou excited like a kid and Aoi giggling at the young man's antics.

While Aoi was filling their glasses, Kouyou was sharing the leftovers in their plates, putting them on a clean towel from the bathroom, and they soon were eating with appetite Mrs Takashima's delicious food.

« Yum... Your mother is a chef or something ? It's really good ! » « I will tell her you said that, it will make her day for sure ! She improved herself by cooking so much for all my father's business meetings during all these years. She always wanted to be the one preparing the food because it had to be perfect. She's the best wife and mother of the world ! Sometimes I think that's the reason why I'm gay, you know, because I will never find a woman who can compare to my mother !»

Kouyou's jokes and enthusiasm made Aoi chuckle.

« I'd never thought you were a mommy's boy ! Look at you !»

« Hey I'm not a mommy's boy ! »

Kouyou's indignant answer and deep blush made the man laugh a bit more. Kouyou was easy to tease, and he was childishly cute when he was upset.

« You are indeed, and that 's cute ! »

Kouyou's blush worsened, and he tried to hide it behind his almost empty plate. They ate all the leftovers, while Kouyou was doing the talking as usual, but Aoi was replying more often and felt really at ease compared to the evening before. He trusted Kouyou more now, he had seen how the young man was acting around him and was sure he wouldn't do anything that could upset him.

As they reached the end of their diner, the relaxed mood slowly changed into something different. The only lights in the room were the ones of the nightstands, giving a warm and cozy atmosphere. They had put the tv on when they came in, a music channel playing old music videos softly.

Aoi filled their glasses one more time, and was laughing at Kouyou's impersonation of one of Takashima senior's lecture. He felt a bit light headed, the wine was a bit strong. As he handed Kouyou his glass, their fingers brushed and they avoided to look at each other.

« I don't even want to ever cross path with your father, Kouyou ! He is scary ! I'm surprised someone like him has a son as kind, informal and free as you! »

Kouyou blushed a bit, cutting pieces of the chocolate cake. He didn't know how to take Aoi's compliments. They were making him feel so … powerful, and his heart was feeling … Bigger ? Nonsense.

Aoi, from his side of the table -towel, right- was looking at Kouyou trying to hide his embarrassment, wondering if the wine was responsible for it. He couldn't remember if Kouyou had been blushing at all last night. But he could tell he liked it. Kouyou was even more charming. When the young man lifted his eyes from the cake, he found Aoi staring at him with a small grin on his lips. And he couldn't bring himself to break the eye contact. Somehow his stomach felt like he was riding a rollercoaster. He felt hot and flustered, and yet the feeling was far from unpleasant. He shook himself out of his state, trying to act casual and comfortable, even if he clearly wasn't.

He handed Aoi a plate, smiling, and cleared his throat a bit.

« Here. It's my favourite cake, you can' t find a better dessert in the whole world, in my opinion »

Aoi took it, brushing Kouyou's hand again, sending little invisible sparks all along his own skin.

« It looks yummy ! » he said, admiring the glossy icing. And at the first bite in his dessert : « Oh my god, it tastes like heaven ! Hmmmmmm ... »

Kouyou's dizzy mind began to swirl dangerously. He couldn't think of anything but the lewd sound that was coming from Aoi's mouth. He blushed again, and try to focus on his piece of cake instead.

« What's with all this blushing, Kouyou ? » Aoi asked between a moan and a chuckle.

« I...don't know... »

Still beet red, trying to hide behind his plate again.

« Come on, tell meeee ! »

« Hu hu » Kouyou shook his head no but giggled softly at Aoi's whining tone.

« Okay, and I thought that we were friends... »

Aoi began to sulk, fully aware that it wasn't a very mature act, but still disapointed that Kouyou didn't want to tell him. And it did the trick.

« Don't be like this, Aoi, just... I was thinking that the cake wasn't the only thing that looked yummy... »

Kouyou blushed anew, his eyes not daring to cross Aoi's. He didn't spoke a word about his moans and the very inapropriate ideas they triggered in his heated mind. That was already embarrassing enough.

« Oh... » It was Aoi's turn now to blush, and the man fell silent.

He shouldn't feel this happy at what Kouyou just said. He knew since the beginning that Kouyou found him attractive. It was the first reason why he had invited him, after all, and he had made no secret about it. But he couldn't help the warm feeling that spread in his whole body hearing it, and the way Kouyou had phrased it made it both super adorable... and damn hot.

Aoi's insecurities made his daily life a living hell, okay. But tonight, what with the wine and Kouyou's shy flirting, no need to mention the fact that the young man was really appealing, tonight Aoi kind of wanted to win the battle against them, deciding that for once he would enjoy himself and seize what was offered to him.

The atmosphere, now quiet and sort of tense, made Kouyou feel a bit claustrophobic. As he had finished his dessert, Kouyou decide to get up and pick up the plates and plastic boxes to wash them at the bathroom sink, expecting it would allow the mood to get lighter.

He opened the faucet and began to put some liquid soap in the dishes, when he jumped a little, lifting his head and discovering Aoi's reflexion standing behind him in the mirror. He had a shy smile on his lips, and his cheeks were still of a little pink shade.

« Nobody ever told me I looked yummy... » he said, looking at him straight in the eyes, before hiding behind Kouyou, his forehead against Kouyou's back.

« Humfff... » Kouyou huffed, deciding on acting playfully « There are a lot of people in this country who should wear glasses, if you want my opinion... »

Aoi chuckled softly, still hidden in his back. Could Kouyou get more cute ? The young man washed the last plastic box, his back skin warm where Aoi's head was.

Then he could feel two hands on his sides, thumbs slowly caressing his waist. He finished the dishes, a bit shaken by the sudden display of affection, his body beginning to react in a way that wasn't reasonnable. His heart beats threatening to break his ribs, he dried his hands, and turned, loosely throwing his arms around Aoi's waist.

« I wish you knew how gorgeous you are... But as I'm not that good with words, so maybe ... »

He cupped Aoi's jaw with his still damp hand, and leaned to brush Aoi's lips with his, making him shiver. As the man didn't make any move to reject him, and as he sighed, like surrendering to him, Kouyou boldly caught Aoi's lips and kissed him more firmly. He tangled his fingers in Aoi's hair – a thing he'd wanted to do since forever, tugging at silky dark locks and marvelling at how smooth they were. His heart began to race as Aoi kissed him back shyly first, then more daring, before he threw his arms around his neck. Kouyou pulled him closer, still holding his waist but tighter this time, and soon the kiss was growing into something bigger, one of Aoi's hand gripping steadily at his neck, while their lips parted and their tongues were shyly learning to move against each other.

Kouyou's hand was sliding along Aoi's body, stroking more and more demandingly, until he cupped on Aoi's buttocks and squeezed them gently, making Aoi whimper against his mouth. It made something snap into Kouyou's mind, and he gave up Aoi's mouth and began to kiss fiercely his jaw, licking and sucking all along his neck like if his life depended on it, and Aoi was lost, his body drawning under Kouyou's ministrations.

All the warnings signs screaming in his head had been shut off by the bliss he had felt at the precise moment Kouyou had kissed him. He had known, deep inside his mind, when he had decided to follow Kouyou in the bathroom, that if Kouyou tried anything like this, he wouldn't refuse him. Kouyou has been too gentle, too tender, too patient, and he was way too handsome... And hot, too, right now, his hair messy, his eyes shining, breathing heavily in Aoi's ears. One of his hand kept on clutching on Kouyou's neck while the other was clumsily trying to unbutton the young man's shirt, his mouth eager to kiss every spot he could land his lips on. And his hips began to grind against Kouyou's.

The action made Kouyou pause, breathless, his heart beating like crazy, his body on fire.

« Aoi... I do want this... But if you want us to stop, you have to say it now...Because – nnnnhhh wait-wait-wait-listen-... I won't be able to think anymore soon... But I don't want to -Oh God Aoi- to force you into something you don' want -ooooohhhhh-fuck !- or will regret... Are you listening to me … Aoi ? »

Aoi stopped kissing him, and stood still, his eyes trying to get their focus back.

What ? Did he want this ? Kouyou was asking him if he wanted to stop, like the perfect gentleman he promised he would be.

Like hell he wanted to stop!

He hadn't feel this good since... He didn't remember... He looked at Kouyou straight in the eyes.

« I want this, Kouyou. I want you. »

« oh -Fuck !-Aoi, if you say this again, I swear I won't control anything anymore... » 

« I want you, Kouyou. »

Aoi's husky voice made the last remnants of sanity melt in Kouyou's brain. He lifted Aoi's body from the ground, Aoi's legs wrapping around his waist, grinding against his hips, his clumsiness and haste making Aoi chuckle again, between two licking kisses at his neck.

« You said you weren't a one-night-stand man, hu ? »

« You're everything but a one-night-stand... You know it... Let me show you...Nnnn... I'm going to show you... How it's like to be worshipped... I want to feel you, taste you, smell you... Oh god !»

It was so so hot in this room suddenly. Kouyou carried him to the bed, Aoi's legs still circling his waist. Then he put him down ont he bed, with great care, as he had always treated Aoi. They took off their clothes in a hurry, fighting with their belts, keeping just their boxers on, wanting to let their eager bodies meet, and Kouyou began to do just what he said he would.

He looked at Aoi's naked body in all his glory, the man blushing under his intense gaze. The slim torso, the defined abs, and the oh-so tempting V that lead to...

« So perfect... »

And then his lips were on Aoi's again, stealing his breath, blurring his vision, making him lose his mind slowly, while his hands were working on discovering every inch of his body, caressing, strokking, rubbing. Aoi's body was so tense he was shaking, while Kouyou was taking care of all his body parts but the one that was screaming for it. He licked and touched and bit all the soft flesh he was now allowed to claim as his for the night, taking his sweet time to drive crazy the man he had fallen for at first sight.

His tongue slided up and down his neck, his fingers finding a nipple and squeezing it gently, and Aoi's moans, that have been very low and kept in his throat until now, became more loud. The sound drove Kouyou crazy, and he began to take care of the other nipple with his tongue while keeping on gently torturing the other with his fingers. Aoi let out a full cry, and arched his back, grabing at the bed covers to stay grounded somehow.

« Ah ! Kouyou ! Please ! »

« Please what, Aoi ? » Kouyou's husky voice sent shivers all along Aoi's body, and sparks from his hair roots to the tip of his toes.

« Ah, fuck, don't stop... »

He grabbed at Kouyou's hair and kissed him wildly, as if he wanted to deprive him from air. Kouyou reached down and brushed at Aoi's briefs, incredibly proud that he was responsible for the noticeable erection that was there. Aoi's gasp made him lose control again,  he decided that underwear was too much clothing, and helped Aoi to get away from them while he was himself throwing his own on the floor. He then paused, struck by a dreadful thought.

« Kouyou ? What's wrong ? » Aoi's hushed voice filled with concern. Did Kouyou want to stop ?

« Ahem... I have condoms in my wallet...But I have no lube or things that could do for it. I don't want to hurt you» Kouyou blushed a bit again, stroking Aoi's hair lovingly.

« You're so sweet... »

There were so many other men that wouldn't have thought about this, who would just have taken what they wanted without giving any care for him. Aoi sent Kouyou a comforting smile.

« You can go and take the bottle of Aloe Vera in my toilet bag. » He chuckled at Kouyou's disbelieving stare. « It's perfect for hair conditionning and skin care, and it works really well for what we planned, don't worry. » Then he added, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively « And it 's edible, too... »

Damn. Kouyou ran to the bathroom and came back with a huge green bottle. He took some seconds to relish in Aoi's lain frame, admiring each curve and freckle, Aoi biting his lips self-consciously. He joined him on the bed, straddling his body, kissing him softly and cupping his cheeks with his hands

« You still want this, right ? »

« Are you trying to make me change my mind ? » The challenging tone had Kouyou smile.

« God, no ! »

« I want you, Kouyou. Now more than ever. »

And for a change, Aoi took the lead and kissed the young man passionately. Kouyou didn't lose time and began to prepare him gently, slowly, while he kept on nibbling his lips and neck, driving him on the edge...

« Oh, Kouyou, yes, come on, I want you now... » (Kouyou had never put on a condom that quickly.)

And Kouyou thought he had never been so close to touch the sky, to taste heaven, as he was beginning to drive himself into Aoi in a slow and steady rythm. He wanted this to last forever, he could have watched the blissful look on Aoi's face for eternity. At this pace, though, he knew they wouldn't last long. Aoi was now lost to the world, delirious from the pleasure Kouyou was giving him, one of his arms thrown upon his eyes, the other one still gripping the white sheet. His body was arching more and more, his cries were so loud, and he was begging him - _there Kouyou, yes ! Oh god harder-please-please-please don't stop-Kouyouuuuu_ \- and Kouyou finally lost it, obeying the man writhing under him -his lover, he could now call him his lover, and the thought made him ecstatic- fastening his rythm until he was losing himself deep inside Aoi.

He kept on chasing Aoi's orgasm, his mind explosing in a galaxy of stars and shouting his lover's name, his hips thrusting violently, and Aoi soon followed him, crying his name too, feeling like he'd never reached a climax so intense. Kouyou collapsed on him, still murmuring his name like some sort of prayer - _Aoi, god,_ _Aoi_ \- and kissing him weakly.

They remained tangled in each other until their breaths were calmer, and Kouyou then propped himself on an elbow, to admire Aoi's beautiful flushed face. He leaned on and caught his lips, Aoi smiling lazily. But Kouyou didn't seem to have had enough of Aoi yet, and soon he was stroking his lover's flat stomach suggestively, while kissing him more and more feverishly.

Aoi chuckled softly, between two kisses.

« Aren't you tired yet, pretty boy ? » He was still a bit breathless.

« Actually... I think I'm still pretty hungry... »

« Oh dear god... I hope youre thinking about the chocolate cake... »

Kouyou's face lit up at the mention of his favorite dessert, there were still two parts left. And he had a sudden hunger for the two yummiest things he had ever tasted. He got up and caught the cake's plate, and came back laying next to Aoi, who hadn't move at all.

« We're going to finish this, that would be a shame to let it get wasted, right ? And I'm going to feed you because you look too tired to do it by yourself... »

He brought the spoon to Aoi's mouth, but clumsily let the piece of cake fall, and it smeared on Aoi's torso.

« Oh, shit, sorry ! »

«I guess you have to clean me now... »

Aoi's tone was challenging again, and Kouyou found himself leaning to lick at all the chocolate spread on Aoi's skin, earning a loud gasp from his lover. He took his time to lap at every little spot that had been spread on his lover's upper body, and when he finally looked at his face, Aoi was staring at him with half lidded eyes, visibly turned on by Kouyou's hunger.

« Delicious. »

He kept his eyes locked with him, while grabing at a bigger piece of chocolate cake, and he squeezed it all along Aoi's chest, making a mess of it.

« Hey ! Kouyou ! What the hell are... _ahhhhh_... »

Kouyou had resumed his former cleaning activities, his mouth sucking and licking and tasting as much chocolate and skin as he could. Before he was halfway done, though, Aoi decided in a short span of lucidity that he'd like to have a bite of what made Kouyou moan so much -not that he wasn't moaning himself at the feast Kouyou was making of both the creamy cake and his body.

He caught the young man's wrists suddenly, and made him fall back into the sheets, straddling over him and beginning to press kisses all along Kouyou's throat, growling.

« Your mom taught you that it was selfish to not share your snack, didn't she, Kouyou ? »

And without letting any time to Kouyou to answer or react, he was spreading the young man 's favorite dessert on his white skin. He licked his lips at the sight, and let his tongue roam on the perfect body, making goosebumps rise and Kouyou shiver. He kept on savouring the strong flavour of dark chocolate, marveling at how Kouyou's softness tasted so good mixed with the sweetness of the dessert, and then he paused and smirked, locking his eyes with a lust-drunk Kouyou.

« Do you know what would taste good with you and chocolate ? »

Kouyou didn't have time to answer again, and anyhow he shouldn't have been able to. Aoi just caught something on the ground, and handed it with an award winning smile.

« Wine ! »

And he wasted no time pouring some of it on the mess that was already smearing his lover's body. Kouyou just mewled at the sensation, the wine was cold against his heated skin, and Aoi's mouth was everywhere on him. He panted hard, his own mouth open and whispering Aoi's name -which wasn't even his real name but who cared? He was his Aoi, after all he was the only one who called him that name, and that made him feel like if he was privileged, like if he was kind of owning him in some way ... - and he was moaning and whining...

« I want some to... »

And he escaped Aoi's arms, bracing himself against the wall, and catching his lover, who still held the bottle in his right hand, to seat him on his lap.

« Care to share ? »

And Aoi was pouring wine directly in Kouyou's open mouth, letting the dark liquid flow slowly, and watching it drip from the corner of his mouth, like hypnotised by the sight. His lips went to chase the little rivulets on Kouyou's chin, lapping and sucking, and he was pouring what was still in the bottle between their two eager mouthes, definitely ruining the bed sheets.

They were so turned on, while they were losing themselves in opened mouth kisses, trying to suffocate each other somehow, and soon Aoi was riding Kouyou like there was no tomorrow, their bodies sticky and slimy, and they could barely breathe anymore, and the strong scent of chocolate and wine was overwhelming their senses, and they were drunk from so many things, alcohol, feelings, sensations, exhaustion too, and it was almost too much...

And their eyes opened at the same time, and they locked their gaze, as Aoi whispered weakly

« I'm so close, Kouyou....nnnnnn.... »

And Kouyou was encouraging him to keep on moving, because he was so close, too... _so just a little bit more...yeah baby... that's it...god, you're so good..._ And they were colapsing in a tangled mess of arms, legs and bodies covered with cake, wine and body fluids, still pressing kisses on each others. It could have been the end of the world, for all they cared.

They stayed entangled, having lost any sense of time, cuddling and only whispering their names, until Kouyou shuddered.

The air was cold against their damp skin. Aoi smiled at him, crinkling his nose in disgust at how dirty they were.

« I think we should get cleaned and dried before we get sick. I'd love a warm shower... Are you coming with me ? »

« I'd follow you anywhere. »

Kouyou's loving gaze was almost too much for Aoi to bear. His heart couldn't take that much. He avoided the young man's stare a bit, and caught his hands, helping him to get out of bed and leading them to the bathroom. After a well deserved warm shower, where they had washed each other, sharing more carresses, almost bringing them to a third round of sex – almost, because it was awfully late and their bodies were kinda worn out- they just took the dirty sheets out of the bed and laid naked under the comforter, cuddling and kissing softly again.

« It was amazing... » Aoi whispered.

« You were, indeed. I can't believe this happened. Can't believe you're mine... »

Kouyou whispered before drifting to sleep. Aoi had his head on Kouyou's chest, his fingers carressing softly the soft skin of his belly. The young man's words made his heart sink in his chest.

Kouyou really thought they could have some kind of future together. Aoi couldn't regret what had just happened between them, because he had wanted it badly, and it had all really been a wild dream. But he knew this was a one night thing.

He had a new life to begin, in a new town, with a new job, far from everything that had been smothering him to death. He wanted it to work, because he had been in such a desperate state of mind lately, and he really believed it was probably the only chance he would be given to start something new, to build himself a future. A future in which, if he wasn't happy, he wouldn't be unhappy neither. He couldn't consider bringing a relationship into his new life without even having begin it. Let alone a long distance relationship. All the more with Kouyou, who deserved better than to be dragged into a liaison with him, while he was still carrying the weigth of his past toxic love stories, while he was still struggling to even aknowledge that he wasn't that worthless...

Kouyou deserved the world. And he couldn't be the one to give him just this.

It broke his heart, but his decision was made.

He spent quite some time to just watch at Kouyou's sleeping face, trying to memorize each of his lover's beautiful features, until he saw the slightest light of dawn in the sky through the window. He moved from Kouyou's embrace, making the young man open his eyes and groan. He leaned and kissed his lips softly, murmuring.

« Shhh, Kouyou, go back to sleep... I just need to go to the bathroom.»

Kouyou mumbled something Aoi couldn't understand, and fell back into a deep slumber. Aoi took great care in packing his stuff quietly, putting on his clothes and going just with a simple teeth brushing and some water splashed on his face. His last shower was only a few hours ago actually, and he smiled sadly.

He would have wanted this to last a bit longer. He was going to miss Kouyou and his childish enthusiasm, his warmth and kindness. He was pretty sure he would never find someone like him again. But he didn't want to be a burden in Kouyou's life. He had been unhappy with people that weren't able to bring him the things he desperatly needed, and he didn't want to be this kind of person to Kouyou. He'd rather be a beautiful memory in Kouyou's mind than a boring and burdensome relationship in his actual life.

He took a pen in his bag, and wrote some words on the hotel's notepad. And as he was finishing to write, his eyes spotted Kouyou's phone on the table. He took it, and sighed when he saw there wasn't any security code on. He did what he knew he had to do then, and hesitated a bit while catching his bag and preparing to leave.

Did he really want this ? No, he didn't. But it was necessary.

He opened the door without a sound, hoping nevertheless that Kouyou would wake up somehow, and tell him to stay, but as nothing happened, he turned back a last time to look at the beautiful face of his one night lover again, and closed the door behind him.

He was glad to see his car parked at the place the mechanic said he would leave it. As he already paid him yesterday, he could now leave without wasting any time, and without risking to want to change his mind. It was already hard enough. He threw his bag in the trunk, and slided behind the wheel, putting the contact on, and began to drive out of the parking, tears running on his face. Damn these pollens, really. Aoi knew pollens didn't made you sob, though. And yet...

 

_"Now that I've met you_

_would you object to_

_never seeing each other again..."_

_Aimee Mann, Deathly, from Magnolia Soundtrack._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me so much trouble honestly, I never thought it would be THAT difficult to write sex^^... I spent so much time writing and re-writing it, I hope it conveys the feels I wanted it to give.  
> And it's breaking my heart to let Aoi abandon Kouyou, but hey, don't hate me, it's not over yet :) See you next week with a whole lot of Kaiki and heartbreak!  
> I'd really like to know what you think <3 Thank you for reading!


	5. Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yutaka and Taka are back, yay!  
> This chapter will either give you diabetis or make your teeth decay. And hopefully it will also breack your heart a bit, hehe. Please enjoy !

_"What have I got to do to make you want me_

_What have I got to do to be heard_

_What do I say when it's all over?_

_And sorry seems to be the hardest word..."_

_Elton John._

 

 

 

When he arrived at the radio the day after, after another night spent overthinking his brains out, Yutaka was more than ready to have a nervous breakdown. He hoped he wouldn't have to cross path with Takanori. He knew he couldn't endure it. Because he was beginning to miss him too much, but he knew he would never forgive Takanori for what he'd done to him, crushing all his feelings and trust like he would have done with a stupid cigarette butt. Like it was nothing. And worse, he hadn't try to excuse himself in any way. Maybe he thought everything would be ok if he let it go. But it would never be okay again. Ever.

 

Or maybe Taka just didn't care.

 

Yutaka's broken heart was hurting too much.

 

Before going out of his car, Yutaka checked the area to see if it was cleared, and was reassured that Taka was nowhere to be seen. He ran out of the car, and through the radio hallway until he was safe in his office. Then he closed the door. And locked it.

He knew he was childish, and didn't know how he could keep on working like this, but for now he didn't care. He put off his jacket, and sat at his huge desk – he liked big desks, he kept it neat and well organised because he liked neatly kept places to work on.

But today, his desk had something on it that he didn't know where it came from. Beside his keyboard was a steaming big cup of Yutaka's favourite coffee, and on a paper plate near the cup stood a lovely decorated strawberry shortcake- Yutaka's favourite dessert. And written on the icing of the cake, 'Good morning' with a little heart.

Hu.

Who was the one and only person who knew his weakness for strawberry shortcakes here ?

Okay. Yutaka's broken heart didn't hurt as much as it did before. And he almost smiled. Just almost.

 

Half an hour later -coffee and shortcake were long gone- Yutaka received a weird text on his phone.

 

 _Taka_  : Things I like about you (and miss so much right now) : 1°Your voice... Soft and comforting. Better than any remedy. I love to hear it before going to sleep. That's why I usually call you in the evening (and not to check if you need me to work on something, as I always said. Sorry I lied).

 

Yutaka's belly was suddenly assaulted by an army of excited butterflies. Takanori had never told him anything quite like that. Of course he assumed Takanori must like things about him, if he was infatuated the way Akira assured him he was. But to read it, as a casual confession... It was really something else. Anyway, Yutaka was still mad. He didn't answer the message and instead tried to focus on the mails he had to answer.

 

Ten minutes later...

 

 _Taka_ : 2° Your eyes. I know I'm not being original for now, but I like them. They're so expressive and smart. And shiny when you're talking about something you love.

 

Yutaka smiled... just a little bit. But didn't have time to react properly as someone was knocking at the door. He got up from his desk and went to answer the door...

And was met with the most huge and beautiful bouquet of flowers he ever saw. Roses, peonies, tulips, lillies... The scent was heavenly too. He was so confused he didn't say anything, and stood there motionless, while the poor delivery guy handing the monstruous thing to him asked where he could put it. Yutaka showed him the coffee table in front of the window. The guy bowed and handed him a a little card, before going out of the room. Taka's handwriting caught his eyes.

 

_3°The way you smile when you're happy. Honestly I think you're a bit responsible for the global warming when you do. I wish I could see you smile now. I hope you do._

 

Yutaka did. He really did. He was still mad, obviously, but smiling. His phone rang again.

 

 _Taka_ : I wear this as a penitence today (photo). A bit embarrassing but true nonetheless.

 

The selfie showed Takanori's torso only, wearing a black tee-shirt with the word ASSHOLE in golden letters. Yutaka snorted. Really ? Takanori was really wearing this ? He shook his head and decided that he could wear whatever he wanted, because Yutaka didn't want to feel any sympathy for him. No. He had been an asshole and if he wanted to claim it to the whole universe, so be it. But Yutaka didn't care. He was mad, after all. And he had a job to do. Which was beginning to be difficult, with all the texts and such.

 

It took half an hour for a new message to come (and no, Yutaka wasn't waiting for it. Not at all.)

 

 _Taka_ : 4° Your soul. Beautiful and pure. You're the most caring and sweet person I ever met.

 

Yutaka's eyes were betraying him. He wiped them angrily with the back of his hand, considering to turn his phone off. But he could not do it, and as much as he wanted to still be mad at Takanori, he felt his anger getting weaker and weaker. He had to be strong, to stay mad at Taka, because he felt like his heart had been stabbed several times, letting deep and painful wounds. And he didn't want this to ever happen again. He didn't want to hurt anymore.

 

**********************

 

Kouyou opened an eye lazily as the first ray of sunlight peered through the window, and shut it close quickly with a growl. To jolt awake a mere seconds later. He was alone in bed.

 

« Aoi ? »

 

He got up in a rush, checking the room to see that Aoi's belonging weren't there anymore. He opened the bathroom door in a panicked state, suffocating from the sudden angst that was squueezing his chest, already knowing he wouldn't find anyone there.

_No...No no no, please, no... Don't..._

He hurriedly put a pair of boxers on, still not completely awake,

_Tell me you're still here, please..._

... And stormed in the hallway, chosing to use the stairs instead of the elevator, running like a mad man. He passed the reception desk at full speed and stopped only when he found himself at the hotel's parking, barefoot and almost naked, breathless and desperate. His car wasn't there.

He was gone.

 

 _Aoi was gone_.

 

He came back inside the hotel, his vision blurred and his head spinning after the running and the speed way he got out of bed. The few people who were already in the hotel hallway watched him walk back to his room with dumbfounded looks, but he barely see them. And he didn't care, because his heart was slowly breaking at the realisation that Aoi had left without letting them a chance to have a proper goodbye. A sudden rush of apprehension made its way through his mind, and he was quick to grab his phone when he entered his room. Then he knew that he had been right. Aoi had deleted his number from Kouyou's phone.

Aoi was really, totally, completely gone, leaving Kouyou without any way to keep in touch with him.

Kouyou's world was crumbling to bits.

He finally saw the note his lover wrote before leaving.

 

_Kouyou,_

_With you I'd been the closest to my real self than what I've been in years._

_But I can't be the one you want me to be. I'm sorry._

_I wish someday I'll become a man who deserves someone like you._

_You'll be forever in my thoughts_

_Aoi._

 

Kouyou packed his things in auto-pilot mode. He refused to think anymore, blocking all feelings, as he was trying to clean a bit the mess they did last night. He couldn't allow his broken heart to gain the upper hand right now, not when anything he was doing now just screamed to remind him how definitely gone his lover was, how lost and lonely he felt, not when all his hopes, born late last night when he had fallen asleep with Aoi in his arms, had been crushed in such a brutal and definitive way.

He felt dead inside.

He left the hotel room without a glance, finding the lady who was coming to clean up in the hallway, and fumbled in his pockets to find his wallet. He took several bills and handed them to her, as a huge tip. When she looked at him with a questioning look, he flashed a sad smile to her, looking at his feet in an ashamed way.

 

« It's for the mess inside. I'm sorry. »

 

If only she knew how much he was.

 

************************

 

No other texts came after this one. Yutaka forbade himself to be disappointed. Takanori must have been discouraged by his silence. It took less than half a day for him to give Yutaka up. His feelings weren't that strong, after all, were they ? Around noon though, he was startled again by a knock at his door. Another delivery man was standing there, with a bento full of Yutaka's favorite lunch. And another little card.

 

_I know you're not eating properly, because that's what you usually do when you're upset. Please give this a try, it's from your favourite restaurant. I don't want you to get sick. You have to take care of your health, and of your body too, because it's my number5 !:)_

 

He forced himself to eat his bento half heartedly, sat in his desk's armchair in front of the bouquet. His stomach still slightly sick at the idea of eating something. But in the end he didn't feel that bad. And the food was delicious.

 

Before walking out of his office for a meeting with the managing team, about the upcoming arrival of the new boss, Yutaka checked if the hallway was empty. He didn't want to see Takanori right now, because as much as he wanted to still be mad at him, he felt in a very lighter mood now with all the texts and gifts and his full belly. But he didn't want to forgive him. Yet.

 

Once the uselessly long meeting with the other managers ended, Yutaka lost no time retreating back to the safety of his office. He found a box prettily wrapped on his desk, with a little card on it.

He couldn't believe all the things he had been gifted today. He had had all the hard time in the world to stay focused during the meeting, his mind drifting constantly towards Takanori and his antics of the day.

He took the card and read Takanori's words : _My 6_ _th_ _favourite thing about you should be taken cared of... This seat of yours is awful ._

And Yutaka found a lovely black velvet cushion in the box. He felt himself blush at the thought of what Takanori implied. The nerves of this guy, honestly. He smiled and shook his head again. How was he going to stay mad with all this ? Somehow he had to, because Taka hadn't really apologize properly, and he couldn't let him think he was going to buy his forgiveness with some sweet words and gifts.

 

 

Meanwhile, Akira had just arrived and was going to ask Takanori how his plan was going. They had spent the last evening on the phone, Takanori explaining what he wanted to do and Akira giving him advices -and asking advices himself to Haruko. Akira didn't like the look on Taka's face when he entered the tech room.

« Oi ! What's with this face dude ? »

« Ahhhhhhhh Akiiiiiiiii I don't know what to do anymore ! I just did everything I planned until now, and I have no clue about how Yataka is feeling about this right now. I didn't see him, he didn't call or replied to my texts. Maybe he simply doesn't want to talk to me ever again ! Maybe he realised I was not worth his time or feelings after all ! Maybe he- »

« Oh would you please shut up! We're keeping on the plan just like it is. Prepare yourself for the show. I'm sure everything will be okay, but no freaking out ? Ok ? »

Takanori nodded, and took his phone to send his last message.

 

 _Taka_  : Your weird sense of humour, how you always cry when we watch movies together, when you're so hot wearing that black shirt with your skinny jeans, the way only you can cheer me up when I'm really down, your adorable laugh, your yummy cooking and so many other things... I'm realising now it would take me much more than just one day to list all the things I like about you. Will you please listen to Akira's show in your office ? Please ?

 

Yutaka read the message and let out a little nervous giggle.

 

Okay. He could do that if Taka asked him too, after all the things Taka had done today. He put the radio on via his PC, and immediatly Akira's low voice spoke through the speakers.

 

« ….last single of this band, released last month. They will have few lives during the summer, don't forget to check the dates on our website. I will give some invitations for these lives on a next show, stay tuned ! Ok, now we are going to have a little special time. Usually at this time of the show ,we listen to songs you, people, my friends, are asking for, sometimes with messages you leave for someone. Today's song had been chosen by one of my closest friend, you know, Taka, my beloved chibi radio-tech ? The one I always post silly pics with on Radio Jack's Instagram? I'm sure you remember him, especially you girls, who go wild in your comments each time you see him. Well, Taka got the person he's madly in love with really upset, and he thought that maybe hearing this would help him to apologize... Let's see if it works... »

 

Some soft accoustic guitar began playing, and Yutaka couldn't believe Taka was doing this. Taka, who was always sarcastically joking about people broadcasting love confessions, Taka who was everything but conventionnal, Taka who declared romanticism was bullshit... And yet, everything he had done today...

And then Tracy Chapman 's voice...

 _Sorry_  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like sorry like sorry

 _Forgive me_  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like forgive me forgive me

 _But you can say baby_  
Baby can I hold you tonight  
Maybe if I told you the right words  
At the right time you'd be mine

 _I love you_  
Is all that you can't say  
Years gone by and still  
Words don't come easily  
Like I love you I love you

 

And while the song's text was filling Yutaka's heart with so much warmth, the last notes of it coming already, a last message appeared on his phone.

 

 _Taka_  : It took me years to figure out the feelings I had for you. Years to admit it to myself. Years to gather the courage to talk to you. Years to imagine all the things I would say to you if I was given a chance to. So much wasted time. And I spoilt it all in a span of ten minutes. I said and did things I should never have. I thought the most scary thing in the world was to confess my feelings for you. I was wrong. The most scary thing in the world is to imagine a future without you by my side.

 

At this point Yutaka didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He was crying so much he couldn't see right. Taka was apologizing. Actually, Taka had been apologizing all day, in the most cheesy and loveliest way he could have done it, and now...

He stormed out of the room.

 

 

Takanori had waited all day. Waited for an answer, a call, a mail, a message, something... He was even prepared for a bad one. But nothing came. Zero reaction. And as he was pretty full of hope that he could gain Yutaka's affection back earlier in the morning, he was growing more and more frustrated and desperated as time went by. Because he had put all these efforts in this day, tried so hard to guess what Yutaka would like and what would make him forgive his own stupidity, and now he was at loss at what to do next. He had no peculiar skill with romanticism, but he knew Yutaka had a soft spot for it, with all the sappy comedies they had watched together when it was Yutaka's turn to choose the movie. But now that he had used all that he could think of, and that nothing worked, obviously, what the hell was he going to do ? And the possibility of having lost Yutaka for good was now really beginning to kill him.

 

He checked his phone a last time – even switched it off and on again, just in case... He had also asked Akira to send him a message, several times, because maybe his phone didn't work properly today... but no, he received each and every texts Akira sent him. When he saw, at the end of the song, after he'd sent what would be his last message to Yutaka today, that he had no reply, again, he gave up his phone and decided he would go to have a smoke on the roof, where nobody would disturb him and his dark mood.

 

 

Yutaka ran towards the tech room, to find it empty. Fuck.

Where the hell was Taka, now ?

He looked through the glass wall that separated the tech room from the studio, to find Akira behind his mic in the studio, his headphones still on. His friend looked at him and smiled , and pointed the ceiling with his finger, before mouthing a mute « go ! » and showing his two thumbs up. _Dork_.

 

He opened the door to the roof terrace quietly, carefull to not make any noise. Takanori was leaning on the guardrail, his back to the door, a cigarette in his right hand, his forehead resting in his left one. He looked so defeated Yutaka felt his heart clench. He seemed to be rather affected by the situation, and it eased his own nerves a bit. What if Taka has been as hurt as himself ? He was so mad that he had thought only he had been suffering, but obviously it wasn't the case. He was woken out of his silent observation by a growl that suddenly left his friend's throat.

« Arghhhhhhh...I'm so stupid »

And Yutaka almost laughed when Takanori began repeat « Stupid...Stupid...Stupid... » while hitting the guardrail each time with his forehead.

 

He cleared his throat before talking.

 

« Ahem... Just saying this, but I'm not going to date you if your face looks like someone stomped on it, you know... »

 

Takanori stopped in his tracks and Yutaka waited for a reaction, but his friend just stayed motionless.

 

« Taka ? Are you going to look at me or will I have to talk to your back ? » he asked softly.

 

Takanori turned back, surprise and embarrassment written on his face. He blushed and averted his gaze.

 

« I didn't know you were here... » He fidgeted with his cigarette. Yutaka took him by surprise, and he wasn't prepared yet to face him. But he knew he had to talk to him if he wanted to save what was remaining of their friendship, if he still could. He finally looked at his friend, and could tell that he must have been crying. He hated himself for it. He sighed.

 

« I... I... Am sorry. For everything. I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel bad, you know ? I know I' ve disappointed you. And you were right, I was acting stupidly, and... » he stopped ranting abruptly « Wait ? Did you just said you would date me ? » Taka's widened eyes made him look so cute.

 

« Not exactly. »

 

Yutaka felt a bit of guilt when he saws hope flee from his friend's lovely features.

 

« Oh. »

 

« I said I wouldn't date you if your pretty face were ruined. Which means, maybe I would if it weren't. But as I'm not close enough to check the damages... »

 

He got closer to Takanori, and held a hand to cup his cheek, letting his thumb strike it softly. Taka closed his eyes. He had craved Yutaka's touch for so long, and after the last days where he'd been deprived from even seeing him, this was almost too much for him to bear.

 

« You're a lucky guy, Taka, there's no scrape on your skin. Guess maybe we could date, after all. » Yutaka smiled saddly. « I'm sorry too. For everything I said. I had no right to judge you.»

 

Takanori opened his eyes and met Yutaka's. They stayed quiet, just looking at each other, for some time, before Takanori could muster enough courage to talk. He looked so serious.

 

«  I promise I will fight for what I want from now on. You're all I ever wanted, Yutaka, and to think I almost lost you over my own stupidity is killing me. I didn't mean a word of what I said that night, and I want this to work, because I can't risk to lose one of my best friend and the man I love. I owe you to make this right, and to do this from the start. So, would you go out with me for a date, Yutaka ? » He managed to smile hopefully.

 

His friend's laugh was happy, this time.

 

« I'd love to. »

 

As Ruki thought that it'd be the best moment to maybe try to kiss Yutaka...

 

They were interrupted by a weak knocking on the metal door.

 

« Who the hell is stupid enough to knock at an exit door ? » Takanori mumbled.

 

A muffled voice came from the inside of the building.

 

« Hu...Guys ? I'm sorry to interrupt, but Taka left his phone at his desk, and as it didn't stop ringing, I thought I would bring it to him. Hem... Can I come? »

 

*********************

 

Kouyou drove back to his town, shutting down the hurt and the grief, and chose to focus on the road instead. He was in a kind of daze. And he wanted to stay like this. It was safe.

He arrived at his appartment at the begining of the afternoon, exhausted and empty. He didn't want to stay alone, and he needed so bad to have a shoulder to cry on right now...

But he knew all of his friends were currently working at the radio, and he couldn't go there and risk to have a breakdown with all the staff around.

 

He decided to unpack his things slowly, refusing to acknowledge his feelings when he put out the small plastic boxes his mother filled with the food he shared with Aoi last night. He refused to think about the chocolate cake, or what was made with it. He wanted to keep these thoughts away, so that maybe the pain would stay away too. He knew he should have lunch, but his stomach was so constricted he knew he wouldn't be able to eat anything. He hadn't had breakfast either. And in some twisted way, he wanted it to stay like this too, that the last things he had eaten were things he ate with _him_.

 

Once his clothes were in the washing machine – he couldn't help but regret that he hadn't wore a tee-shirt for sleeping last night, maybe he would have had Aoi's scent lingering on it, but no, he shouldn't think about it because it wasn't the right thing to do... - and his empty bag was put back in his closet, he began to panick. What was he going to do now ? Because he could keep his pain at bay if he had things to distract him, but he wouldn't be able to do so if he wasn't busy with something. He decided to clean his appartment thoroughly, and it kept him busy for a good part of the afternoon.

 

Around five though, his home was sparkly clean -Taka would be proud of him the next time he would come- and it still wasn't time for him to call his friends. He began to pace around in the appartment, and the panic came back fast. He had to do something to prevent the crash to come.

Oh ! What if he headed to the small restaurant next to the radio and have a drink or two while he waited the moment where he could ask his friends to join him ? That was a good idea.

 

Or maybe not.

 

***********************

 

Takanori and Yutaka laughed whole heartedly at Aira's flushed face when he opened the door. He looked so embarrassed.

 

« Really sorry ! Hope you had the time to... do whatever you needed to do... I just didn't knew if I should come or not...but maybe it's important... »

 

Taka's phone began to ring again. Akira handed it to him, and as he took it he looked at the name on his screen and frowned.

Ami ? It had been so long since the girl he had dated called him. Sure, they still met again when they had lunch at the restaurant where she worked, but they just were polite with each other, Ami hadn't taken their break-up easily. He sent an apologetic smile to his friends and spoke.

 

« Hey Ami ! How are you ? »

 

Taka liked the way Yutaka frowned at his previous girlfriend's name.

 

« Hi Taka ! Excuse me. I hope I'm not disturbing you now. But somehow I didn't know what to do.»

 

« It's okay, Ami. What's wrong ? »

 

« Kouyou's here. He has been for quite some time now.»

 

« Kouyou ? I didn't know he was back already. And how is it a problem ? »

 

« He's drunk, Taka. Like, really, really drunk. I went to tell him that I wouldn't serve him more drinks and that he should go back home, but it just made him...cry. »

 

« Kouyou's drunk and he's crying ? Seriously ? Oh my god what did this stupid family meeting did to him ? It's okay, Ami, thank you very much for calling, I'm coming right now to take him home. »

 

He hung up the phone and turned to Yutaka and Akira, who had already guessed with Taka's words what the problem was all about.

 

« I'm sorry, Yutaka. »

 

« No need to be. I'm coming with you. » And with a smile who melted Taka's heart, they went.

 

 

They left Akira at the radio, the host saying that he would handle everything just fine before he went home. When they arrived at the restaurant, Ami was smoking outside. She greeted them with a little nod, and showed them the bar where Kouyou was currently sitting, his back turned to the door, his shoulders seemingly holding all the worries of the world.

 

Taka got closer quietly, and took the seat at Kouyou's side. The young man looked at him with red rimmed eyes, and a surprised look.

 

« Taka? »

 

«Hey. Ami called me. She said you were pretty drunk. And crying. I don't know what got you in this state but I'm here to bring you back home, okay ? »

 

Kouyou just stared at him for a mere seconds, and then bursted in tears, much to Taka's distress.

 

« Hey-hey Kouyou ! What's wrong dude ? Hey, shhhh, it's okay, it's okay, everything will be okay, shhh.... »

 

And he caught his friend in his arms, hugging him as he would have done with a child, and patting his back gently.

 

« He...He's...Gone, Taka. He's gone...And I will never see... him again... And I think... I'm in love with him. But he doesn't care... He doesn't want me... »

 

What the hell was Kouyou talking about ? For all he knew, his friend wasn't seeing anyone. He would have been the first to know, because he was the one Kouyou was spending most of his time with. So who was he referring to ? Ah, to hell with this, he had to take Kouyou home now, because there was no way his friend would want someone he knew at work to see him like this.

 

« I don't understand, Kou...You're going to have to explain this to me. But first we have to take you home , okay ? »

 

Kouyou nodded weakly, tears still flowing from his eyes.

 

Yutaka was paying for Kouyou's drinks meanwhile, a bit embarrassed to have to talk to Ami. He'd never liked the girl, but he imagined that had everything to do with the jealousy that was gnawing at his guts each time he saw her with Taka. And Ami was always a bit aggressive towards him at the time she was dating his friend.

 

« So, you two are finally together ? » she asked with a bitter smile.

 

« What ? … What are you talking about ? »

 

« Oh please, Yutaka. I'm not that dumb. I've always known there was something special about you two. You were always Taka's number one priority, no matter what. And he had always this special way to look at you... I would have given a kidney to have him looking at me that way, you know ? So please tell me he did broke up with me for a reason... »

 

Yutaka was more than embarrassed now. His cheeks were pink red, and he stuttered a bit.

 

« I... Hu... We... are considering... that... maybe... we should date ? »

 

« It's about time ! Good luck, then, I hope you will make him happy. » And with that she left Yutaka, waving at him as she was going her way to customers that had just arrived.

 

 

They decided that Yutaka would drive them at Kouyou's place.

Once they arrived there, Taka could tell something was wrong for sure. Kouyou's appartment had never been so clean. They took off their shoes, and watched as Kouyou stood awkwardly in his hallway, his eyes still full of tears.

 

« I didn't know what to do to stop thinking, so I cleaned everywhere.» he mumbled, looking ashamed, very much like a child that would have been caught doing bad things. And a sob escaped him. Takanori was growing more and more concerned about his friend.

 

« Okay, Kou, now I'm going to help you to sober up a little. Maybe a shower will do you good, what do you think ? And maybe Yutaka could cook us one of his yummy soup ? »

 

He turned to look at his friend who smiled and nodded. Kouyou merely hummed.

 

 

As expected, Kouyou was a bit less drunk after his shower. Takanori helped him to put on a pajama he found in the closet.

 

« I don't want to eat anything... I just want to sleep. »

 

« Will you at least just give a try ? Yutaka cooked it especially for you... »

 

« I'm sorry dude. You had probably plans for your evening with Yutaka. And I just spoilt it. You should go, I'm fine.»

 

« Listen, you're not spoiling anything, okay ? And you look far from fine. I'm here because I think you need me, and after all the evenings you've spent dragging me out of my misery and supporting me, I'd be the shittiest friend if I didn't stay with you tonight. I'm going to take a bowl of that delicious soup and come back to you, and you'll tell me all about this, okay ? Now go to bed.»

 

Kouyou obeyed ; and Takanori found Yutaka in the living room, watching tv on Kouyou's huge couch.

 

« I'm sorry, Yutaka. If you want to go home, I'll understand. It isn't the evening I would have like to spend with you, but I can't let Kou in such a state alone. And I don't understand, so I hope he'll tell me what the hell happened to make him so depressed. »

 

« It's not like we won't be able to have an evening on our own someday soon, Taka. After all this time, one more day waiting for it won't kill us, right ? And I agree, we can't let him alone for now. But I'm not going anywhere without you. Take care of him and then maybe we could have some soup and spend some time just you and I ? »

 

Yutaka flashed him an expectant smile that made Taka's inside all warm.

 

« I'd love to. Just wait for me, then . »

 

He went out of Kouyou's bedroom almost an hour later.

Yutaka had prepared them two steaming bowls and was waiting for him, as promised.

 

« How is he ? »

 

« For now, I think he's asleep. He barely ate a few spoonfulls of soup, and as I was scared that he would throw up I didn't push that much. He has not been very clear about everything but it seems that he met a guy at the hotel he was staying on the first night, and fell hard for him. And they met the night after at the same hotel and slept together, but the guy flew away during the night and left Kouyou without even a name or a phone number to find him. And Kouyou is desperate because he thinks he is in love with him, and thinks he'll never see him again. »

 

Taka sighed, and sat next to Yutaka.

 

« Waow. That's... unexpected. Even more for someone like Kouyou. He always seems so unaffected by people, you know ? I'd never thought he would be able to fall in love with a total stranger. »

 

« Neither did I. I hope he'll feel better tomorrow morning, we have this special meeting with the new boss and it's kinda important. Hum, this soup is delicious, thanks, Yutaka ! »

 

His friend grinned mischievously.

 

« You're welcome. Kouyou will have to shop for groceries though, because I used the only things he had in his fridge. But I had to make something good, because my cooking is one of the things you love, after all, right ? Amongst others more... physical and embarrassing things... »

 

Taka blushed. He wasn't used to Yutaka being teasing. They had always been very good friends, but Yutaka had always been a bit shy and never stepped over the friendship boundaries. Kouyou always said that it was maybe because he feared rejection and wasn't confident enough. But it seemed that what he did all day made Yutaka feel more secure about the whole situation, and now he was witnessing the blooming of a new side of his friend, and it was a bit unsettling.

 

« Hum... Yeah... Guess you're going to use everything I said and did today against me ? » He chuckled a bit nervously.

 

« Actually, I was more considering using it... in your favor ? » Yutaka's smile was softer now, and his tone a bit hopeful.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'd like to read what you thought about this new chapter! Thank you for reading, and thank you to all the people who took time to leave a comment here <3


	6. Awakenings...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> Here's chapter 6, more Kaiki and the return of our superstar ;)   
> Some of you had seen it coming, hehe, guess I wasn't as subtle as I should have been ! Enjoy, and see you at the end of the chapter for an important note!

_"It's just no good anymore_

_Since you went away_

_Now I spend my time_

_Just making rhymes_

_Of Yesterday..."_

_Aimee Mann, One from Magnolia's Soundtrack._

 

 

 

Yutaka woke up to a soft lock of hair tinckling his nose.

He brushed it, a bit annoyed, before realizing that the strand smelled not like his own hair, but more like...

An almond-vanilla scent...

A kinda very familiar scent...

Takanori's shampoo.

He liked this smell, had grown addicted to it when they worked together on the radio console, their heads close. He loved it when one of Taka's wild strands escaped the tie of his messy bun and came to graze his own cheek.

But why the hell was he having hair on his nose that smelled like Taka's ?

And as he was at it, he'd really like to know why his usually very comfy bed made his back feel like he had spent the night on a matress full of concrete. His foggy mind registered that something was actually preventing him from moving. Something stuck against his right side, a bit heavy and... Warm ? Cautiously, Yutaka opened an eye to find that that something was indeed Takanori's body -hence the shampoo scent. And after a moment of shock, he finally remembered where he was... Kouyou's sofa.

Where he'd fallen asleep next to Takanori.

He smiled to himself, recalling their evening : they had eaten and talked, and Taka has blushed madly each time he had teased him, and it was the most endearing thing to see. Once they had taken care of the dishes and came back to settle on the couch, side by side, Yutaka had grabbed Taka's hand in his, and stroke it softly. When Taka's eyes had finally met his own, he could read so many emotions in them (longing, tenderness, desire, fear also... and maybe it was his own wishfull thinking, but he could swear he saw love, too.) He smiled shyly, and that's all it took for Takanori to get rid of his insecurities and lean closer, a little smile of his own gracing his lips. He bumped his nose against Yutaka's, and whispered against his skin.

« Will you finally kiss me ? »

And Yutaka had chuckled softly, and caught his friend's tempting mouth in a deliciously sweet and wet kiss. They had savoured their first kiss as its fullest, making it last, resuming it, again and again, and Yutaka had decided at that precise moment that he'd never get enough of this, that he had just everything he needed just here in his arms, that this embrace will be his own private paradise now, and that he would cherish and protect it with all his might.

His blissfull solemn state was fast forgotten, though, as Takanori's tongue began to be more demanding, and as nails grazed along his nape and made him shudder. He let Taka take the lead of the kiss, and the appreciative moan he got as a reward made him so unbearingly hot, and-

Kouyou's bedroom door flew open, brutally hitting the wall in the process, making them both jump out of their skin while Kouyou made a rush to the bathroom. They heard the oh-so-disgusting sounds of someone victim of nausea, and, for some seconds, only silence. Then, muffled but unmistakable, low and heartbreaking sobs.

« Damn... »Taka seemed to come back to reality, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes a bit feverish – Yutaka wondered briefly if he could get more gorgeous- « I'm sorry again, Yutaka. Kou is in such a bad state, I don't even know what to do to make him feel better at this point, but I have to try. »

Yutaka briefly nodded, still lost in his friend's -boyfriend's- contemplation, still a bit dazed by their kiss.

« Please don't be mad at me ? » Takanori's pleading tone made him laugh.

«There's no reason to be mad at you, Taka. Beside, who could stay mad at such a pretty face and this lovely pout ? Go comfort him, he needs you. I'll wait here. »

Takanori grinned widely at his boyfriend's words.

« You sure know how to flatter people. Who knows where this will lead you ? »

« I'd like to think that maybe it could lead me to... your bed ? »

Takanori rolled his eyes, but failed at hidding his amusement.

« Trust you to ruin a perfectly romantic and cute moment, you damn pervert. And I thought you were different...Tsk... »

« Take it as a compliment, even a « different » and very composed man like me can't resist your charms... Does it sounds better, now, sweetheart ? »

Taka turned his back on Yutaka, mumbling something about pet names and how men could think they could get through every situation and obtain forgiveness using them... And once again Yutaka could catch him blushing and trying to hide a smile.

« Hey... I still have a lot of ideas of cute little names I could call you, and I plan to use them all. Get used to it, Taka-chan »

Taka huffed before opening the door, sending him a look that was supposed to be threatening, but was nothing like. He disapeared, and Yutaka could hear his low voice, trying to soothe Kouyou's grief. He hoped from the bottom of his heart that Kouyou would feel better soon.

He fell aslep on the couch and briefly remembered Taka joining him at some point, kissing him softly on the lips and telling him Kouyou was finally asleep too. They had cuddled a bit -at least, as much as the couch allowed them to- and ended up falling asleep together.

 

Yutaka stroke Taka's cheek softly. His boyfriend frowned and a low grumpy growl escaped him.

« Hey Taka-chan, good morning. »

Takanori opened his eyes groggily, looking at Yutaka through his eyelashes.

« Hey. » And then a smile appeared on his tired features. Yutaka answered him with a grin of his own.

« I'm sorry to wake you up, but I have to come back home to shower and change clothes before heading to the radio. »

« I don't like being woken up, but from now on I won't mind, I just wanna be woken up by you alone... »

« Is my boyfriend always so sentimental in the morning ? »

« Guess you'll have to find out... »

« I guess that's one more thing for me to love about you...»

They giggled at how cheesy they sounded, before they finally disentangled themselves from the arms of each other. Kai pressed a chaste kiss on Takanori's temple before he put on his shoes, and hugged him as he was about to leave.

« See you at work ? Don't get lost on your way and don't be late... »

« Oh... Will you scold me if I 'm late ? » Takanori teased.

« Hehe... No... I'll just miss you if you're late. » And he winked, disapearing behind the door and letting a barely awake but totaly lovestruck Takanori, barefoot in Kouyou's hallway.

 

He took a shower just after Yutaka left, and awoke Kouyou up. While he'd made some really strong coffee, it was Kouyou's turn to shower to try to look decent and human again - but to no avail. Once they were done, they sat on the couch to drink their coffee. Kouyou still looked miserable and his eyes were still swollen, and he kept his head low shamefully as he sipped his hot drink. He scrunched his nose, tasting how bitter and black the coffee was.

« Thank you, Taka, for staying here last night. I'm so sorry you had to deal with my drunken ass... While you could have spent time with Yutaka. »

Taka felt truly bad to see him in such a state.

« Hey, Kou ? I'll always be here for you when you'll need me, okay ? No need to thank me or feel guilty, that's what friends are for, remember ? »

Kouyou nodded weakly, but didn't looked less ashamed.

« Now, if you don't mind, I'd really like you to explain to me what really happened there, because you weren't... Let's say... The most coherent story teller ever, last night. Mind to tell me ? »

Takanori's attention seemed to soothe Kouyou's nerves, and he was finally able to tell his story without crying helplessly. Takanori listened carefully, and hummed, thinking about the situation, when suddenly an idea popped up.

« Do you remember the number of the room you were in with this Aoi guy ? »

Kouyou looked surprised.

« Yeah. Number 136. But I don't see- »

« Number 136. I'm going to try to know this guy's real name. Don't get your hopes too high though, but I'll do my best to find it, okay ? You know how persuasive I can be, right ? Now, get ready to go to work, I'll wash the mugs before leaving and I will call you if I have some results. Put on some shades, okay ? Today you'll need them, you look like shit ! »

Kouyou looked at him hopefully, and thought how lucky he was to have such good friends. He got up and hugged his friend, and acted like a good boy. He did just what he'd been told.

 

***********************************

 

Yuu was waiting in his car, in the parking of the building where he was going to work from now on.

He left his new appartment early, and decided to stop on his way to got some coffee. He hadn't feel like eating something this morning, actually he hadn't feel like eating since he arrived in town the day before. He had had a lot of coffee though, and that was probably the reason why he hadn't been able to sleep before late in the night, or quite early in the morning. The last time he checked his phone it was almost 4. The lack of sleep, food and the excess of coffee made him feel tense and edgy. This, and the constant ringing or buzzing of his phone. People he didn't want to hear about leaving countless messages.

He looked around him, assessing his new surroundings. It looked nice and peaceful. Good. This was going to be the place where he would spend most of his time from now on. It would be useful to have a walk around, see if there was some take-over restaurants or some conbinis nearby. At the corner of the building, a man was apparently waiting, two steaming cups of coffee from Starbuck's and a paper bag from a french bakery in his hands.

Aoi took a sip of his own hot coffee, and breathed deeply, to try to calm his nerves.

It was normal to feel a bit nervous when you were about to meet your new co-workers, and to begin to work in a new place. That was probably the reason why he had been so restless on the last 24 hours.

Obviously, it had nothing to do with the guilt that was clouding his mind since he had flown from the hotel and the warmth of Kouyou's arms.

...Nothing to do with the pain he had felt in his chest while moving in his new appartment and meeting his new neighbours next door, a newlywed couple who welcomed him warmly, even inviting him to come for diner whenever he would feel like it. He had thanked them politely, but there was no way he was going to spend time with two people that sickeningly in love. The only sight of the lovestruck looks they sent to each other was enough to make him feel nauseous.

...Nothing to do with the hopeless sadness that had taken over after he had switched on his tv, deciding to watch a movie to keep his mind out of depressing thoughts. Gladiator had seemed a good choice at first, this was surely a movie he could watch without second thoughts... But he found himself crying his eyes out at the end, his heart painfully throbbing in his chest, suffocated by too much conflicted feelings, sobbing helplessly.

All this was without any doubt the consequences of the stress he had been under while moving out and quitting his previous job... And leaving all of his former life behind him.

 

He sighed, passing a hand on his tired face.

All he had to do was face this day, and tomorrow he could immerse himself in work and everything would be fine.

He was about to leave his car, still almost half an hour early, but he was fed up with waiting, when a car parked beside his. The driver barely got outside the car before the man who had been waiting at the corner of the street ran to him and embraced him, taking care of not spilling coffee. The driver let a delighted laugh at his boyfriend's enthusiasm, and leaned to kiss him tenderly. Aoi's stomach plumeted. What was it with everybody throwing their disgusting happiness at his face these last days ?He decided angrily that he had had enough of witnessing other peoples' PDA, and got out of his car at lightning speed, slamming the door with much more force than needed, startling the two lovebirds in their morning reunion.

 

*********************************

 

« Guess what ? I found him ! »

Taka was so overly excited it made Yutaka laugh. They were in the elevator leading to Yutaka's office, getting ready to start their working day.

« What ? What are you talking about ? Who did you find ? »

« Kouyou's guy ! I had the idea to call at the hotel they stayed in, and ask for the name of the guy who rented room number 136 -Kouyou told me what room it was. The girl on the phone wasn't very easy to convince, but you know me, right ? When I've set my mind on something... »

« Yeah, I know you... that's great, Taka-chan. You're the best... But I never doubted it... »

The soft look Yutaka sent him made his knees go week, and Takanori sighed happily.

« Now that we've got his name, we're going to find him and Kouyou will maybe be able to contact him... I hope he'll be okay after this. »

« I hope too. »

Yutaka leaned and planted a quick kiss on Takanori's lips, before the elevators gates opened. Taka's heart made a somersault at the sudden move.

«I will miss kissing you today, Taka. Maybe you could join me in my office sometime in the morning ? To... Work on... Some stuff... And maybe... Fix this lack of affection ? » Yutaka whispered, leaving his blushing boyfriend and heading for his office with a mischievous wink.

 

*****************************

 

Yuu was installed in a very comfortable chair in what would be soon his own office.

 

He had gone to take another coffee before, since he still was early for his appointment with the soon-to-be previous manager, Tanaka-san. The young guy at the reception desk had showed him the way of the break room and told him he would inform the manager that he could find him here. After thanking him, he had gone to a corner of the room and sipped his coffee quietly, wondering why he kept on feeding his growing nerves with endless amounts of caffeine. That wasn't an healthy way to go, for sure.

He briefly promised himself he would begin to take more care of his daily habits, to slow down with caffeine, and maybe... Just maybe... To stop smoking when he would have settled down a bit more, in a few weeks... Or months. He was disturbed in his thoughts by two men entering the break room, too busy talking to each other in a whispering -conspiratory, almost?- tone, to take note of his presence.

Yuu recognized the one who was currently speaking as one of the lovebirds of the parking.

« … He was so much distressed, we couldn't leave him alone. I don't know how much he drank before we found him, but it must have been a lot to take him in this state. We brought him home, and spent the night there... »

« You spent the night there ? Both of you ? »

The other man, a guy with spiky blond hair and a goofy grin, asked with a suggestive wriggle of his eyebrows.

« Ahhh shut up, yes, we spent the night there together. But nothing happened... But that's not the point. We're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about him... So we took hime home, and he told me about this guy he was madly and helplessly in love with. We have to help him, dude, because he has it bad for this man, and I didn't thought I would ever tell this about him of all people, but... I don't know if he will be able to get over his heartbreak. »

« I never thought this could happen to him too. But, somehow, he has always pushed away any people who showed him interest, just because he didn't thought they were « the one »... It's normal that he's devastated if he thinks he found the right person and that his feelings are unrequited, right ? I feel so bad for him. He'd deserve so much to have someone... » the blond guy sighed.

They both exited the room without noticing Yuu's presence in the room. He finished his coffee, a fleeting feeling of loneliness and envy overwhelming him. He didn't know what he'd give to have caring friends too. He'd lost them all so long ago.

 

And here he was, in his future office, talking with the old man who would retire tomorrow and leave him his job. Tanaka-san was kind and polite, but seemed a bit out of the loop as far as the real job was concerned. He told Yuu he had been ill some time ago, and that he had left everything that wasn't purely administrative to one of his guys, and that the guy managed really well.

« But, you know, even if he's really good, and has a lot of help from his co-workers, I'm afraid he couldn't keep on overworking himself like this, doing two jobs at the same time. But he will be a great help for you, and you'll be lucky to have him by your side. Actually, you're lucky to have them all by your side, because honestly all of them are good guys, hard working and passionated, and they are a strong team. »

Yuu nodded and smiled

« That's good to hear. I would hate to work with people who can't get along, it's always such a waste of time and energy to manage teams who constantly fight... »

They were interupted by a knock on the door. Yuu recognised the man who entered as the second lovebird of the parking. He seemed to remember him too, a little hesitant in his steps as he entered the room.

« Ha, Yutaka-San, come in ! Please meet Shiroyama Yuu, your new manager ! Shiroyama-San, here is Tanabe Yutaka, who worked so hard to make everything work here while I wasn't here and couldn't do it. »

The guy smiled widely, cute dimple in full dismay, blushing a bit, and bowed.

« Nice to meet you, Shiroyama-San. »

« Nice to meet you too, Tanabe San. So, you're the man in charge here, right ? I'm sure we will do great things together ! »

« Yes, Sir, I'll do my best ! »

« Our managing is a bit... Different from what you may be used to, Shiroyama-San » the old manager kept on talking. « The managers of the others department of the radio and I studied together as trainee managers in Northern Europe, and we really liked the way they approached social relationships with workers there. In a more familial and human way. We do believe that it builds stronger teams and that people are more prone to get fully involved in their work if their leaders show them respect and are accomodating when it becomes to personnal issues. As for example, one of our host had an impromptu meeting in his family earlier in the week, and he asked for a few days off, that we were happy to give him. We always make our host record some of their shows, so that if they're sick or needing some time for themselves they can have it without having to upset the show's schedules. »

« Oh... I see... That's surprising, indeed... And different from what we're used to, you're right... »

Yuu didn't know why, but something was bugging him in the things the old man was telling him.

Not quite the fact that they had a special way to handle teams, actually, he thought it was a really interesting way to manage... But there was something that set his inner alarms on once again...

What the hell...

« Yes, it's different. But a good sort of different, you'll see. I think you will get used to it, and I'd really appreciate that you'd agree to keep on managing in the same direction. As I already said, the team are hard workers, and we find it only fair to give them back what they give for their job. And they are very supportive for each others, too, so that you won't have to deal with missing employees. Lately, our other host had to come back home to take care of his sick baby, and thanks to his co-workers, Radio Jack kept functionning normaly... Oh, I haven't asked news of little Mako yet ! Do you know if she feels better ? »

The old man asked Yutaka, and at the same moment his phone rang. He excused himself and went out of the room to get the call.

 

The alarms went wild in Yuu's head.

What the fuck ?

Little Mako ?

Wasn't it the name of Kouyou's friend's baby ? What was his name ?

But no, that couldn't be, there were probably hundreds of babies called Mako, right ? But yet, her father took the day off to come back home to take care of her, just like Kouyou's friend.

And the other host, who had taken days off for a family meeting ?

Could it be... No... Yuu's mind was boiling and he had to calm down if he didn't want to have a heart attack just right there and then, what with the caffeine abuse and the amount of stress he was dealing with.

 

Dimpled Lovebird – Yutaka?- looked at him with a concerned face. He had seen how pale he had become in the last minutes, and it worried him a bit.

« Shiroyama-San ? Are you okay ? »

 

Yuu came back to reality, blinking several times.

« Hu...Yeah. I guess. Hum... Your co-worker, the one with the sick baby... His name isn't Akira, right ? »

Yutaka sent him a puzzled look.

« Yeah, that's his name. Do you know him by any chance ? Because I thought you just moved in our city, so... »

 

Fuck.

 

« No,no... I don't know him...  Not exactly...» There were probably thousands of people named Akira too. Right ? As he felt a heavy weight constricting his chest, and panic began to run in his veins, he uttered « And, hu, the man you were with on the parking area this morning... »

 

Yutaka paled first, and then blushed madly

« Oh, yes... I wanted to talk to you about it. I hope you didn't get the wrong idea. We keep things professional as long as we are in here... I … I want you to be sure of that. We always do... Our best for Radio Jack. And we don't let anything disturb us from our work...And... »

 

Yuu cut the man off his flustered rambling.

« I hope so, but that's not what I wanted to ask you. I hope you'll forgive me to intrude a bit but... Is your boyfriend's name Takanori ? »

Yutaka's jaw fell open at the mention of his friend's name.

« That's... His name... Yes ?  How... did you know ? »

 

Holy motherfucking fuck.

No way. He was having a nightmare, for sure. That couldn't be. He was feeling a bit nauseated now, and wondered if he was going to faint or not. He took his head in his hands and shook it slowly, under the troubled gaze of Yutaka.

 

« Are you some kind of... medium ? Or something like this ? »

Yuu would have laughed if he wasn't so stunned. A knock on the door interrupted them, and Yutaka's boyfriend-Takanori, okay-, walked into the room, a hesitant smile on his face. Yutaka got up and welcomed him, but not without giving a wary look at Yuu.

« Ah, Takanori, come in. It's good that you're here, I will make the introduction... Manager-san, please meet Matsumoto Takanori, our radio tech. Takanori, this is our new manager, Shiroyama Yuu... »

A gasp escaped Takanori's lips, as the young man looked at Yuu disbelievingly.

_What the fuck again ? Why does he look at me this way ? He looks like...Oh, shit, this guy knows. He knows who I am. Kouyou told him everything, of course. Wait a minute-oh-my-god- this heartbroken guy they were talking about earlier in the break room with the other dude... But how does he know my name ? Kouyou doesn't even have a clue..._

Yutaka stared helplessly at the two men, trying to figure out what the hell was going on here, between his boyfriend who looked like he had suddenly been deprived of oxygen, his eyes so wide that you could have believed he saw a ghost, and his new boss, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

 

« Taka ? What's wrong ? Can you explain me what's going on here because I don't understand... »

A knock on the door -again, damn, did everybody always showed up at the manager's door at anytime in this radio ? Yuu asked himself absent-mindedly.- and the man he had previously seen with Takanori in the break room entered, a big friendly smile plastered on his face.

_If I get it right, this guy is-_

« Suzuki Akira. It's an honor to meet you. »

« Shiroyama Yuu. Nice to meet you too . »

So this was the guy who yelled at Kouyou on the phone. His mind still refused to believe this. No way. These were just random people who happened to have the same names as Kouyou's friends. A pure coincidence.

And then...

« Okay, I still don't get what's really going on here, » Yutaka spoke trying to come back to his professional self, and looking at Takanori pointedly, «  but I'm texting Kouyou to come to join us. So that you'll meet the whole team. »

Takanori didn't miss the may Yuu flinched at Kouyou's name, and therefore had the answer at the question that was bugging his mind since Yutaka introduced him to the man.

_That's really him. Damn._

How was Kouyou going to react, and how were they going to handle this ?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, was the wait worth it?  
>  Nobody is really surprised that Yuu is the new boss, right?^^
> 
> I wanted to know what you thought of this: I already have 3 more chapters ready for this fic, and I think maybe we've reached the middle (well it will probably be more longer than what I planned, though^^). But to give me a bit more time to write what's coming after these three chapters, I thought maybe I could post the first chapter of the other fic i'm working on next saturday. It's a multichapter Reituki high school AU, with obviously the whole band and some cameos too.   
> So what do you think? Are we keeping weekly ONS updates and I'll post "Boys don't cry " when ONS will be finished, or maybe alternate between the two, like a chapter of each one every two weeks? Let me know, have a nice week <3   
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Disenchanted to meet you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late!  
> But here's chapter 7!  
> I first planned to post first chapter of another fic this week, but maybe abandoning these poor guys here, with the cliffhanger and all, was a bit too cruel, right, Hanabi_sama ^^?   
> Hope you'll enjoy what's next!

_"...when I can't confront the doubts I have_

_I can't admit that maybe the past was bad_

_And so, for the sake of momentum_

_I'm condemning the future to death_

_So it can match the past."_

_Aimee Mann, Momentum from Magnolia's Soundtrack._

 

 

The headache was surprisingly bearable.

Taka had gotten him some good painkillers and the amount of water he made him drink did wonders on his hungover. He had also forced him to eat the only thing he could find in Kouyou's cupboards, two chocolate bars, and had prepared coffee who could have brought corpses back to life. That was appropriate, though, because Kouyou felt like one.

He got out of the studio where he had just ended his daily morning show, and it had all been uncredibly easy and soothing. Going back to work and to a routine he liked so much was a good cure for his heartbreak.

Plus, Taka had texted him earlier to say that he had somehow coaxed Aoi's real name out of the woman of the reception desk of the hotel. Maybe he would be able to find him, with a little help from Google, maybe he would even hire a detective to find him, because he had to see him again, no matter what. But what if Aoi didn't want to ? What if he just refused to meet him ? Because it would likely kill him if he did. Ah damn. Okay, better not think about it now, give his mind some peace knowing that Taka was already going to tell his name, and then... Take some time to think this through and breathe. Maybe it all had been too fast, and taking a break would do him good. After all, it didn't look so definitive and deadly, now that he was going to know Aoi's real identity.

Now, he just had to go through the meeting with the new boss, and he would be free to do whatever he wanted, which was find Akira and prepare his show for tomorrow while Aki would do the same for his afternoon happening. He liked these moments they shared, talking quietly and exchanging ideas, and more often than not laughing their asses off with stupid jokes. He hoped Aki would invite him over tonight, so that he could see little Mako... And wouldn't have to be alone too soon, and-

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

_Kai_  : Hurry up dude, everybody's already there !

He climbed the stairs that lead to the meeting room, and entered the room, bowing when he passed the door, noticing first Takanori's hesitant and concerned gaze while he turned to look at him, briefly wondering what distressed his friend so much, before letting his gaze travel the room, past Akira and Kai, who were talking quietly to their old manager, to finally settle on the man in front of them all, whose face was pale and whose look of shocked disbelief would probably have made him laugh if only he had had the heart to do so...

The man seemed to shake himself out of his state of stupor, turning towards Kai, who seemed a bit at a loss at the sudden tense atmosphere.

« Well... we're all here now, this his our host of the morning show, Takashima Kouyou. Kouyou, please meet our new manager- »

« Nice to meet you, Takashima-san. I'm Shiroyama Yuu. » The man handed a hand, his dark eyes looking apologetically to him. He shook the hand he was given like a robot, barely aware of what he was doing and replying dazedly to the greeting.

He could only register three things at this moment: his tachycardia was back, he finally knew Aoi's real name... And he wouldn't have to hire a detective to find him.

Their meeting didn't last that much, as there was a little welcome party planned later in the early evening -that Kouyou had forgotten about -, with the whole radio crew. Kai and Akira were explaining how everything was working in their department in their enthusiastic and cheerful usual way, oblivious of their new manager's inner turmoil, who was doing his best to look professional and serene, and had decided to ignore Kouyou's obvious distress.

Taka closed the distance with his friend, and sent him a worried look while he muttered between his teeth.

« I'm sorry, Kou. I haven't had the time to warn you when I realized that was HIM. Are you okay ? » he muttered.

Kouyou nodded, feeling like his knees were going to betray him at any moment.

« Well, I guess now you will figure out how we all work while looking at us on the following days, right ? We don't want to suffocate you with useless details and so, and you may probably have a ton of things you want to settle on your own, so we're going to leave you alone now. » Kai rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and bowed.

Aoi -Yuu?-, cleared his throat, and smiled tensely at Yutaka.

« Thank you very much, Tanabe-San. You seem to have everything under control, and I know we will do great things together ! But, if you don't mind, I'd really like to... Meet you one by one in my office, now, to have a proper interview with each one of you, so that you'll explain me what are your own ambitions for Radio Jack, and the way you'd like us to work together. Maybe we could begin with you, Takashima-san ? If you don't mind, of course ? »

Kouyou nodded weakly, the only answer he could give right now. He followed Aoi in the hallway towards his new office, under Takanori's troubled gaze.

As soon as Kouyou had passed his office's door, Yuu closed it.

He went to sit at his desk chair, and took his head in his hands, sighing deeply. He had avoided Kouyou's eyes since their previous handshake, and now he was looking at him, a helpless look on his face. He sighed again, and tried to smile, failing miserably. He adverted his eyes.

Kouyou didn't know where he was anymore, he felt numb and shocked, and most of all he felt mad...

Because all of this was happening too fast, without letting him any time to prepare himself to face Aoi. He hadn't had the time to think this through, how he would react if he was ever to see the man again. If only Kouyou had thought about whatever he would say to Aoi, he'd probably have acted differently. But now, with the situation slapping him in the face...

And the way Aoi behaved now, looking guilty and ashamed, just hit a nerve.

And Kouyou misunderstood these emotions he saw plastered all over Aoi's face.

So, Aoi was ashamed that he had slept with him, that was it ?

« Kouyou... »

« Aoi. » His voice was low and cold.

«It's... Yuu, you know, my real name... Is Yuu. I... I just can't believe this. Have a sit, Kouyou. Please... I think... We need to talk. »

Kouyou ignored the invitation, and walked slowly to stand in front of the desk instead.

«Oh... So now, you want to talk ? Like, what the hell would you want to talk about, Aoi ? » His anger controlled but very obvious. Yuu flinched at the sharp tone.

« Maybe we could talk about the way you dumped me like some garbage back at the hotel? Like nothing of what had happened there had mattered to you at all ? Like  you didn't know what this night meant to me ? It wasn't as if I had hidden anything of my true feelings about you , right ? What have I done to deserve such a treatment from you, _Yuu_  ? »

Yuu wasn't used to this Kouyou, this hurt in his eyes and his harsh words. His Kouyou was warm and sweet, patient and kind. He had a charming smile and the softest look.

He flinched a bit again, trying to find the answers that could appease him, knowing full well that the ire he could feel in Kouyou's words was justified somehow.

« I... I'm sorry, truly sorry Kouyou. I guess... I just panicked and thought it would be easier if I just went away. I thought you would understand... »

« Easier for you, that's it. And what is there to understand ? That you didn't deemed me worth enough of a proper goodbye ? That a quick note was all I deserved after what we shared? I thought YOU understood how much I cared about you, and that at least, even if you didn't have any feelings for me, you would respect mine. »

Kouyou's voice was actually increasing in volume, and Yuu didn't like it. He didn't like much being yelled at, especially when he had had too much coffee, several sleepless nights and a lot of stress to endure.

He sighed again, this time a bit exasperated.

« Listen, Kouyou, I don't want us to fight, okay ? I told you I wasn't someone you'd like to know in real life. I told you I wasn't interested in any relationship. I warned you several times, and didn't promise you anything and now you're here, throwing a tantrum and- »

« Throwing a tantrum ? »

Yuu cursed himself at his bad choice of words. He knew he was being unfair, and he knew Kouyou had all the reasons in the world to be mad. But he couldn't find it in himself to accept the blame Kouyou was putting on him. It was such a stupid situation ! Why the fuck had he let himself being thrown in such a mess ?

« Are you kidding me ? We slept together ! And you knew I would have accepted anything you wanted, if only you had bothered to talk to me ! But no, you just went... »

« I didn't know you'd feel so hurt . »

_Liar. You always knew he would._

« And I hadn't expected to see you ever again. I just hoped you would move on and keep these moments in a corner of your mind, as... good memories ? Now... Now we are going to have to work together, and we can't let what happened between us jeopardize our job, right ? »

« Jeopardize our job ? That's all that little speech of yours was about ? You feared that I would put you in danger as my new manager ? »

Kouyou shook his head disbelievingly. He looked so dejected it hurt.

« You know what ? You're right, you had been clear from the beginning... It's just... I thought- I hoped- this had actually meant something for both of us. I was wrong, obviously. You don't need to worry for your job or your reputation, _Shiroyama-san_. I will do just what you expect me to, go back to work and act as if nothing happened. » Kouyou bowed tensely, and quickly turned his back to Yuu.

« Kouyou, please... Wait... »

Kouyou paused before opening the door. He huffed.

« Don't bother, forget this. Ah... I'm so stupid... You already did, didn't you ? » His last disheartened words made Yuu want to cry.

_I wish I did, Kouyou. I really do. Maybe I could sleep at night. Maybe I wouldn't miss you so much._

 

 

The noise of the huge meeting room was unbearable, and Kouyou wanted nothing more than go back home, take a shower and sleep for maybe...6 months ? Yeah. 6 months sounded good.

He had followed Taka's advices (his friend wouldn't have let him do otherwise anyway) and had showed up to the party the radio bosses had thrown to welcome Aoi. Yuu. Whatever. He decided he didn't care. Because he had spent the last days getting himself sick for someone who didn't care either. So he had showed up, for the sake of his job (Kouyou was appreciated by his colleagues and bosses, and he wanted it to stay that way) and so that Taka wouldn't bitch him.

He knew he was being unfair, because Takanori had tried to help him a lot during his breakdown and had been here for him like the good friend he was. But he didn't like being told what to do or not do. Period.

He had tried to avoid Aoi- no, Yuu, the best he could, even refusing to meet his eyes each time he had felt his gaze on him (which happened quite often), and for now everything had worked perfectly. He had had enough though, of playing hide and seek with the guy, and knew that he would soon go. But to avoid Takanori's reproach of the party having only begun, he thought he would go outside for some time, enjoying the nice warmth and the calm of the almost summer evening, and escape a bit after.

He climbed the stairs that lead to the roof, where he sometimes came to have a smoke with Taka. He sat down there, his back to the wall, and let his head rest against it too. He closed his eyes and focused on the noises of the early evening, the faint humming of the trafic, the buzzing of the conditionning engines, and the echos of voices and laughs coming from the meeting room. He tried to empty his mind, breathing deeply.

He didn't hear the quiet footsteps approach, and didn't realized he wasn't alone anymore until he heard someone clearing his voice.

He opened his eyes, to see Aoi- Yuu, damn ! standing in front of him, a guilty look on his gorgeous face, two bottles of beer in his right hand. He groaned and closed his eyes again.

« I... hum... Kouyou... I wanted to apologize properly. For everything I did and said wrong. I'm sorry. You were right. I haven't thought about your feelings at all and I've been a coward. You didn't deserve any of this. »

Kouyou opened his eyes again , but chose to not look at the man facing him, and to stay silent. His heart still felt heavy with grief, and he did not want to have a breakdown now, in front or Ao-Yuu. Right.

«  But I wanted to tell you I'm not worrying over our work relationship or my reputation. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I really hope you'll forgive me somehow. I don't know anyone here, and I thought it would be okay for me. But it's harder than I expected. Much more. And I can't help but thinking that maybe...»

He took a shaky breath.

« I haven't had friends since.. I don't know... I don't even know what it's like anymore. But it gets lonely, you know... I really like you, Kouyou, you know I do. I didn't lie to you. You've been so kind to me, from the start, and you're funny, generous and smart. And we get along fine, and it's something that haven't happened to me since so long. And... As I already said, I can't give you what you want and be the guy you want me to be... But I could really use a friend, right now. Will you... Will you maybe... Think about it ? »

Kouyou's gaze was still fixated somewhere on the horizon. He hadn't move an inch since he'd opened his eyes, and had stayed stubornly silent too.

Yuu sighed.

He knew it wouldn't be easy to pacify Kouyou. He took some steps forwards, and made his way towards the door.

« You want us to be friends ? » Kouyou spoke softly.

He turned back.

« Hu... Yes ? I'd really like. »

Kouyou's sad eyes finally met Yuu's.

«How can I be friends with you, Yuu ? I opened myself to you, and all I dared to hope for was your friendship. When finally I thought I had won both your trust and your friendship -and maybe a little more than that- you let me down. Friends have to trust each others, you know... How can I know that I can trust you, Yuu ? »

Yuu came closer again.

«Listen... Maybe I owe it to you, somehow. Some kind of explaination. I didn't want to talk about this back at the hotel, because that's a painful subject for me to talk about. But I'd like to do it now, as some kind of apology. And maybe it doesn't excuse what I've done to you, but maybe you will understand better how I feel... And if you still hate me after this, I'll leave you alone, and we will learn to just work together. »

Kouyou nodded, and Yuu handled one of the beer he had brought with him to the young man. He accepted it with a nod again, while Yuu opened his can and went to sit beside him against the wall.

« Okay... Where do I begin ?... I have to warn you, I'm not a great story teller... So... When I was in high school, I fell in love with a guy. Ah, that already sounds so lame, hu ? He was funny, good looking, sweet talker and popular. All the things I was not. I didn't know he was interested in guys until he asked me out. I was on cloud nine. We barely had our second date and I was already head over heels for him. He took me with him everywhere he went, and we were invited at each and every party that was thrown. Our relationship progressed really quickly, we were madly in love, and some weeks later he asked me to move in with him, in the appartment he rented with some friends. Of course I was overjoyed... But as you can guess, my parents weren't.They didn't like that I was partying so much suddenly, and didn't know I was gay, and didn't understand. They wanted me to focus on my studies, to get graduated and then go to university. They forbade me to leave the house, and we fought. It was bad, really bad, and we all ended up telling things that we shouldn't have. I made my coming out to them the worse way possible, yelling and crying, and they were so shocked. My dad just turned his back on me and my mom locked herself in her bedroom. That night I took all my things and left. I moved out with my boyfriend, and some days after I found a part time job in a bar to pay my part of the rent and my expenses. I believed everything was going to be okay as long as we would be together. But things didn't went the way I imagined... It was hard, to handle a job and study for school. I was exhausted, but somehow happy because I lived the way I wanted. With him. Until my boyfriend had a fight with his parents too, who paid his part of the rent. He didn't work for school anymore, and his parents found out his disastrous grades. They told him to come back home and improve his grades, or they wouldn't pay for him anymore. I was devastated, because I didn't want to live alone with his friends. I didn't like them and they weren't very fond of me neither. So I proposed to work more and pay for him until he would find a job. I was working on evenings and on week-ends, and we barely saw each other, but I was okay with it, as long as we could stay together. He said he didn't find any job, and I believed him. So we kept on living like this, and after I finally got graduated, I began university. Times were hard, but it's always the case when you're young and have no money, right ? And I believed everything would be better once we both would have a decent job. I was happy... Until I fell sick on a friday evening, and came back home earlier, to find him in bed with the girlfriend of one of the guy we shared the flat with. »

He laughed bitterly. Kouyou remained silent, but was looking at him.

« It sounds so cliché. As you can imagine, I got mad at him. We fought for the first time. He reproached me to never be here for him, and that he had needs and that it was no big deal. I was so angry, and I was shouting at him. Anyway, he didn't take my anger very well, and that was the first time he beat me up. He apologized after, but once he got started, he seemed to find each and every excuse he could get to hit me. I stayed with him, because he apologized each time, swearing that he loved me, and would never lay a hand on me again. I was too much in love and too stupid to leave. And I had nowhere else to go. It lasted two years... Two years of fear of being beaten, of broken hopes each time he threw his promises by the window and hit me, and he didn't even bother anymore to hide when he cheated on me... Until one day I finally stood for myself and told him that I didn't want to live like this anymore... That day he completely lost control and beat me so bad I ended up at the hospital. Broken cheekbone, ribs, and wrist. Bruises everywhere. The doctor there called for the cops, and he made me see a psychiatrist, one that was specialized in domestic violence cases. The woman helped me to get my shit together and made me realize how lost I was. She had me call my parents too, and they came to take me home. We all apologized and cried, and I was so relieved and thankful that they weren't mad about me anymore. Actually, they weren't mad about me being gay, they were just so shocked to learn it... The cops took me at my ex-boyfriend's place to take my things back, and warned him that if he tried anything with me he could get arrested. He never tried. Guess he had stopped loving me for good long ago... I came back home, and started to learn to live again... I stayed far away from people then, except for a few friends I still had at University. It has been a hard time for me, because despite all the things he did to me, I still loved him beyond reason. I was lucky I still saw the psychiatrist from the police station. The woman knew how difficult it was for people like me to get over their feelings and to move on, and she wanted to help me to get through this.»

Kouyou looked dumbfounded.

« Wow. This... I wasn't expecting this. »

Yuu let out a humourless laugh.

« I finished University, got graduated and began to work as a deputy manager in a firm. The job was great and it was well paid, and for the first time since so long I was feeling happy again. I still lived at my parent's, and it was okay. I even stopped my appointments at the psychiatrist. That's when I met Sakai, who was my manager. He was really nice with me, and before I knew it he was asking me on dates. I wasn't in love with him, but he was kind, and it felt so good to feel loved and cared for. My parents were happy for me, and when Sakai asked me after a few months of dating to move in with him, they even helped me to pack my things. And that's when things began to change. That was so subbtle, when I think about it... Sakai was beginning to tell things here and there, that I was so lucky I had him to take care of me, that if it wasn't for him I would be left alone, because honestly, my parents were too happy to have gotten rid of me. They pityed me, but I was disgusting them because they didn't like the fact that I was gay, did they ? And the few friends I had ? Only people who wanted to take advantage of me. Hypocrites and freeloaders. He was the only one who really cared about me, and I had to focus on that... It was insidious, because it took time before I began to believe him... And as time went by, I distanced myself from all my previous friends, because I was scared that I wouldn't be able to give them what they wanted, and that they would leave me eventually, so better now than later. I'd rather be the one who dumped them than the other way round. I thought I wouldn't handle other betrayals. And I even distanced myself from my parents. I stopped visiting them, thinking they would be better off without me, and after some time even stopped calling them. They must have been so disappointed and sad... It breaks my heart to even think about it. Anyway, Sakai made sure that everything he said was actually coming true, and he was my only world. I learnt later that people like him were called « manipulative narcistics. »

 

« How... How did you realize it ? I mean, that it wasn't a sane relationship ? »

 

« I didn't. I mean, not alone. I could feel something wasn't right, but it's not easy to figure it out when you're alone and living the thing. Someday as I was running errands, I met my former psychiatrist. I was happy to see her, and during all the appointments we had together before we had learnt to know each other and had became kind of friends. She wanted us to go to have a coffee somewhere, so that I could talk to her about my new life, but I had to go home to have diner ready for when Sakai would be home. She felt that something was off with me, and gave me her phone number, telling me to call her whenever I would have time. When I came back home I talked to Sakai about her, and he told me not to contact her again, that she would probably try to have something from me too, like the others. I disagreed with him, but didn't say it and told him I wouldn't try to see her again. Sakai praised me, saying how wise and clever I had became, and that I had to know that he was the only one who wanted to take care of me. I called her the day after, and we had this coffee date she wanted. I talked a lot, about Sakai and our relationship. And she listened carefully, only asking questions there and then. And she explained to me, the whole « manipulative narcistic » thing. She was sorry that I had to find someone like this. I denied everything, and told her she was wrong, that Sakai was only taking care of me and worrying about my weel-being. But truth to be told, I was lost again, and I needed time, time to think about it, to make up my mind about what she had told me. So I came home, and observed him, for weeks. And kept in touch with her. And I had to admit that she was totally right. I began to look for a job elsewhere, I couldn't keep on working with him. And when I found this job, I confronted Sakai about the way he was acting with me. And he denied everything, just like she said he would. And for once, I didn't believed him anymore. I decided to leave him then. It was two weeks ago. »

Kouyou wasn't aware that he had been holding his breath. He let it go, and murmured apologetically.

« I'm sorry. I had no idea... »

 

Yuu adverted his eyes. « I don't tell you all this so that you can pity me. That's not the point. If I wasn't responsible of the way they treated me, I was responsible because I chose to stay with them at some point, and that's what's making me say that I don't know shit about healthy relationships. And maybe, I don't know, maybe that's the only way I can be in a relationship with someone, when it's sick and painful. And it must say something about me, right, that I always draw twisted people's attention. Maybe that's what I deserve because I'm not someone who deserves to be loved or something. I think I have to learn to have myself back first, maybe also try to accept myself somehow. And if I can do this, and maybe have a few friends, I'll consider myself lucky. I'm not made for love stories. I don't want to hurt anymore, just having a quiet and peaceful life would be so nice. It's time for me to heal, to learn to be a normal human being. And to not depend on someone else. »

Kouyou hummed, having long finished his beer. He watched Yuu stretch, absently noticing the way dusk threw shades on his beautiful and sad features.

« I'm coming back downstairs... »

Kouyou's heart tightened in his chest. He couldn't stand to imagine the loneliness the man could feel. And he knew he was fucked, because he shouldn't have agreed in any of this when his heart was so weak to anything that was Yuu. Just as the other man was moving to get on his feet...

« Yuu ? »

« Yeah ? » He sounded tired.

« It's gonna be okay, here. I mean, you're gonna be okay. And... I'd like to help you, to be your friend, if you still want me to. »

Yuu looked at him hopefully, a faint tired smile illuminating his face.

« Yeah ? I'd like to, Kouyou, I'd really like it... Thank you. »

Kouyou decided to try his luck a bit.

« Would you like me to come with you downstairs ? We could have a beer with the guys ? I mean, Radio Jack team, the others aren't as interesting and cool as we are... » He winked.

Yuu laughed whole heartedly then, and Kouyou was once again proud of himself for it.

« Conceited, are we ? Let's have that beer, mister cool guy... »

BLAM !!!

Before they could even register what was going on, the loud metal door slammed on the wall, and two entangled silhouettes made their way on the roof, stumbling. It took a few seconds to the two bewildered men to recognize the newcomers, who were kissing passionately, moaning and groaning. Taka's hands were pressed on the crotch of Yutaka's jeans, and Kai's hands were already inside Taka's pants, obviously grabbing his ass cheeks.

« Nnnn... Taka... Sweetheart... Nnnn... I've waited all day long to have you just for myself. Seeing you... Nnn... Without being able to touch you... Was torture... You have no idea of all the things I want to do to you that played in my mind » Kai breathed out between feverish kisses. 

« Tell me more.... Mmh... Babe... »

« ... I just want to tie you down to my bed and drive you crazy, mark you mine, and spank that sexy ass of yours, and-»

« Stop ! »

The two men jumped slightly in surprise at Kouyou's shouting, and froze, their eyes widening. When they dared to look around them and realized suddenly they'd had an audience, both of them took their hands off of each other, an became a blushing and stuttering mess. Kouyou would have laughed if he wasn't still under the shock of seeing his two friends making out so ragingly.

« Kouyou ? Shiroyama-San ? W-what are you... Doing here ? »

« Well, untill you interrupted us with your scandalous behaviour – and I won't even mention what you said, hew- we were just enjoying a beer and a quiet chat. But as it seems that some people are taking the roof for a perfect place to act and talk like porn stars, now we're going to find another place. And another beer too, hoping that it will help us to forget the images you put in our heads. Nightmare fuel, honestly. »

Yuu caught the giggles at Kouyou's words.

« Come on, Yuu, let's get out of here... » Kouyou grabbed Yuu's arm and lead him towards the door, ignoring Taka's indignant rant.

« What the hell, Kouyou ? Nightmare fuel ? My ass ! You should feel blessed to have witnessed this scene between the two hottest guy of the whole city – of the whole country ! I bet you will even fantasize about it, bastard ! Too bad for you, ha, we're both taken now! And- »

« Taka, honey, shut up... »

The end of Kai's answer was lost when Kouyou closed the door leading to the stairs. Yuu was still laughing, and after Kouyou had let out an exasperated sigh, he couldn't do anything else than laugh too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're at what we could call a mid-season break ^^.  
>  New fic next week, and I still haven't decide if I'm going to alternate between the two fics each week or give myself more time to write a bit more on ONS before coming back... Anyway, be sure these boys will be back soon! As always, thank you for reading, and for the comments and kudos <3


	8. New beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> ONS is back :) As promised. 
> 
> I have to warn you though, this chapter is more about Taka and Yutaka than about Yuu and Kouyou.   
> Our star couple needs a bit of rest after the hectic days they've had. And before what's coming next for them, hehe.
> 
> So yeah, once again Kaiki stole the show! They're a hanful, and I love them so much. Hope you will too!

_"Hey! Keep on rolling_

_Baby I want to explode_

_Oh yea, need you darling_

_With the growling exhaust note_

_I'm love addict_

_Come light my fire_

_A love addict_

_I'm already a love addict_

_Yeah you want, just free your mind_

_Yeah you want, let's get it on now..."_

_Vamps, Love addict_

 

 

 

They had that beer with Akira downstairs, and chatted a bit.

 

Akira had been mad about Yuu at first. Takanori had explained to him and Yutaka that Yuu was the man Kouyou was heartbroken for, while Kouyou and Yuu were in Yuu's office during the afternoon. Yutaka had tried to calm Akira and Takanori's ressentment, being the most reasonable and cold-headed of them, when it came to work. He had told them that what had happened between the two guys had nothing to do with their current situation, and that they couldn't make Yuu pay for what he did to Kouyou, because they weren't in a position to do so, as Yuu was their new manager.

They would all have to make do with it, and the only thing they could do for Kouyou was to support him and help him to go through his heartbreak. And that being courteous and cooperative with Yuu wasn't an option.

 

If the three of them had been worried to see Kouyou leaving Yuu's office aggravated and on the verge of tears, Akira had been relieved to see his friend arriving to the welcome party, even if still looking out of it, and now to see him reappearing in their new manager's company, seemingly more serene, had lift a weight off of his shoulders. If Kouyou had managed to sort everything out with Shiroyama-san, everything would be more easy for them all. It was already hard enough to get used to a new manager, they had to focus on this alone and try to make it work, for the sake of their beloved Radio Jack.

 

« I don't know where our lovebirds went, one minute I was talking to them and next I couldn't find them anymore... » Akira mused.

 

Yuu and Kouyou couldn't help but burst into uncontrolled giggles at his words, Akira widening his eyes at their laughing.

 

« What ? What's so funny ? »

 

« Hum... Let's say our lovebirds turned into horny rabbits and almost gave us a porn show on the roof. » Kouyou explained.

 

Akira began to laugh too, shaking his head.

 

« I saw the looks these two have exchanged all day, it doesn't surprise me that much. That's what you get when you spend so much time without getting any. Now that they've unleashed their inside beasts, who knows what they're capable of ? »

 

« For your information, we perfectly know how to control our « inside beasts » as you said, fuck you very much! »

 

Yutaka appeared suddenly, his hair a bit messy and his eyes shining.

 

« We just needed to... express our feelings... »

 

Takanori showed up too, shyly scratching his neck.

 

« Yeah, hum... We didn't mean to act like this. We've been caught in the moment, and that won't happen again. Not here, at least. Sorry, manager-san »

 

They both bowed with sheepish smiles to Yuu, who merely shrugged.

 

« It's okay, really. We're not exactly at work, tonight, and I understand. Besides, who would resist such a hot boyfriend, right, Yutaka-san ? »

 

He winked, and Takanori's flushed face made them all laugh. They continue to banter, while the little party was nearing its end, Kouyou making link between Yuu and his friends, and it was nice, really, for Yuu, to get to know his new co-workers in a more relaxed atmosphere, after the previous hectic days -and nights- that he'd had to endure.

 

But the lack of sleep seemed to catch Yuu up somehow, and he found himself trying to stiffle a yawn. Akira, Yutaka and Taka didn't saw it, and kept on laughing at one of Kouyou's jokes, but Kouyou did notice, concern showing immediatly .

 

« You must be exhausted, with the moving and all. Would you like me to take you home ? »

 

The three others exchanged a knowing look, while Yuu shook his head no and smiled gently at Kouyou.

 

« It's nice of you to ask, Kouyou, but my car is just here, so I'm going to head home now. Gentlemen, thank you for this nice evening. See you all tomorrow ? Have a good night! »

 

They all bowed at their new manager's goodbye, and he left, waving at them, his eyes lingering a bit on Kouyou.

 

« I'm walking you to your car. »

 

Yuu knew that he couldn't make Kouyou change his mind, so he let him follow him until he reached the parking.

 

« Good night, Kouyou. I'm glad we could talk. And I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I hope I will be able to make it up to you somehow. »

 

« I'm glad too. That you're here with us. It's gonna be okay for you now. And you'll be there tomorrow, right ? No more running away ? »

 

Yuu laughed.

 

« No more. »

 

« Promise ? »

 

« Yeah, yeah, promise. D'night Kouyou. »

 

« D'night Aoi. Yuu. »

 

Kouyou 's shy smile made something melt in Aoi's ribcage, and he couldn't help the warmth he felt while looking at Kouyou's waving at him.

 

*********************

 

After the little party, Yutaka took Takanori to his place.

 

They had tried to stay professionnal and decent when they had joigned their friends after the roof incident. But the burning want was still there, and they couldn't wait to finally be somewhere where they could let themselves being carried away by their hunger. It had already been a long day at the radio, never finding minutes to be alone together, and the evening had seemed to never reach its end. The ride to Yutaka's home had been silent, both of them giddy with anticipation of what was to come. Takanori couldn't imagine exactly what it was going to be like, but he knew a thing for sure : it was going to be hot and to last all night, because they both deserved it.

 

Yutaka almost forgot to lock his car's doors, jumping from the driver's seat and getting to open Taka's door, grabbing his hands and without losing a single second draging him along towards the building's entrance. He lead them in the stairs, his hand still locked with his new boyfriend's, and began to climb in a hurried pace, breathing something about stupid elevators that took forever to come. Taka was a bit taken abback by Yutaka's behaviour, and he stopped abruptly, making his friend turn to look at him.

 

« Taka ? What's wrong ? »

 

He merely shrugged and shook his head no slowly with a frown.

 

« You... Don't want to come with me ? You... Changed your mind ? » Yutaka looked hopeless.

 

Taka smiled softly and shook his head no, again.

 

« Baka. Of course I want to come with you. But you don't need to run like this. I don't want us to rush. I'm not going anywhere without you, and I want us to relish on all of our first times to come. We'll have plenty of time for this. » He pulled on Yutaka's hand, making him go down the few stairs that separated them, and closed the gap between their bodies, embracing him tightly, and brushing his lips against the skin of his boyfriend's neck.

 

Yutaka shivered and laughed breathlessly, and captured the lips that were sweetly torturing him.

 

« Hum... Okay, sorry. It's just... I want so bad to be with you, and it seems that there's always something to keep us appart and to prevent us from... Being physically together. »

 

His voice lowered to a hushed whisper. « I want so bad to make you mine. »

 

These words sent a fireworks of shivers along Takanori's spine and he giggled delightfully.

 

« I want it so bad too. But relax, okay ? We're going to make the better out of it, right ? And I drank a lot of really strong coffee too, and I got sure that you had plenty of it too all along the day. So... The night will be long... »

 

Yutaka just laughed at Takanori's confession, and kissed him again, but before things could get too heated between them, they resumed their way to Yutaka's door, more calmly. They entered the appartment quietly, taking off their shoes in the dark hallway, and Yutaka stroke gently Takanori's cheek before asking him if he wanted something to drink. Takanori leaned into the caress shamelessly, and asked for a glass of wine.

As Yutaka was bringing them two glasses and a bottle of wine, they settled on the couch silently, still in the dark since they hadn't bothered to switch a light on, staring at each other expectantly, smiling.

 

« I can't believe I'm that nervous... » Takanori statted, flushing slightly.

 

« I feel like I'm 15 too ! » Yutaka chuckled. « But I think it's normal, considering that I've been waiting for this for what seems like forever... »

 

And he caught Taka's cheek again, bringing him close, preparing to taste the delicious lips once again, and this time, he wouldn't let them go...

 

« Yutaka? »

 

The two boys jumped in surprised at the feminine voice that called suddenly.

 

« Mom ? What the … ? What are you doing here ? »

 

Yutaka sounded so surprised and so exasperated that it would have been funny to Takanori... If only he didn't felt as exasperated. What the fuck ?

 

The light was switched, and luckily for them when they had jumped from surprise they had retreated to a more decent position, otherwise they would have been busted.

 

« I sent you a message to warn you that I needed to come here for work, and that I'll be staying with you for tonight, if you didn't mind. As you didn't replied, I thought you agreed and just made myself at home as I always do. »

 

Yutaka's mother seemed genuinely embarrassed.

Yutaka facepalmed, and he just growled in frustration.

 

« Oh damn, my battery died earlier and I didn't have your message. »

 

Takanori didn't know what to do. His boyfriend was so annoyed that he didn't hid it too well, and he was being rude to his own mother without being aware of it. And it was unsettling for her, as she had never been welcomed that way at her son's. He was always happy to see her, whenever she came, and that was why he had given her a spare key to his appartment in the first place.

 

« Hum... Good evening, Mrs Tanabe. Glad to see you again. »

 

The woman finally looked at him with a sorry expression on her face.

 

« Good evening, Takanori. I'm glad to see you too. Listen, Yutaka, I can see that you're not too pleased with me visiting now, so I'm going to take my things and go find an hotel if it suits you more, okay ? I'm sorry. »

 

She turned her heels and headed to the guest room.

Yutaka jolted when he felt Takanori's elbow landing right into his side.

 

« Hey ! What was that for ? »

 

« You can't send your mother to an hotel, you idiot. Go and apologize ! »

 

« I know, I know, but... You and I... »

 

Yutaka seemed torn between being a good son and finally be able to claim Takanori as his own.

Takanori chuckled sweetly, leaving a sweet peck on his boyfriend lips before replying.

 

« I don't think there will be any « You and I » tonight, and I'm as sorry as you might be about it. But I promise you that the wait will be worth it. »

 

« It looks like the whole universe conspirated against us, honestly... » Yutaka huffed and got up from the couch to go find his mother.

 

 

A moment after, mother and son came back in the living room, smiling. Takanori was relieved, because he knew how much Yutaka cared for his mother, and how loving and understanding she was to him. He envied their relationship in some ways, because they had a strong bond that kept them linked no matter how far they were or how little they could see each other.

 

« Ok, mom, do you want to join us and have a glass of wine ? »

 

« A glass of wine ? Well, why not ? »

 

Yutaka took back his place next to Takanori, and his mother sat in the armchair facing them.

 

« So, boys, were you celebrating something with the wine ? »

 

The question took them off-guard. Yeah, it looked like they were celebrating something, but couldn't let her know that they were indeed, enjoying a bit of wine as a prelude to all the amazing sex they planned to have in any possible ways until morning, right ?

 

Takanori cleared his throat lightly before answering.

 

« We were, Mrs Tanabe. »

 

Yutaka's eyes looked at him in disbelief. What the hell was Taka saying ?

 

« We have had the arrival of a new manager, you know... And it seems that Yutaka will have to work a bit less, and that the new manager has already great projects for us to work on... He also said that Yutaka had made a wonderful job until now.»

 

« Oh that's great ! You are finally going to be able to take care of yourself more. You worked so hard this last year, you deserve some time off, right, Takanori? »

 

« Yeah, that's right. And we're all so proud of him... »

 

Takanori's smile and the way he looked at him made Yutaka pause. He stared for a moment, making Taka arch an eyebrow questionningly, and turned to his mother.

 

« Yes, I'm happy that the new manager approves my work. Really. But what we celebrated here was a bit more personnal, mom. Takanori and I finally decided to try our chance and date. I'm the happiest guy on earth now because I've wanted it for so long, so... yeah... please meet my boyfriend ?... I guess ? »

 

Takanori's gasp was smothered by the sudden embrace he found himself burried in, Yutaka's mother laughing happily.

 

«Oh, boys, I'm so happy for you ! This is such a good news for me, I'm always so worried for Yutaka, I'm always scared that he would feel lonely or fall for someone who isn't worth his time. Yutaka always talks a lot about you. »

 

Takanori was blushing madly at all the praise he was receiving, both from Yutaka and his mother. He laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, and decided that it was time for him to go back home.

 

« I'm really happy that you approve of me for Yutaka, Mrs Tanabe. I will do my best to take care of him and make him happy, I promise. For now, I think that it's time for me to go back home and let you both sleep. »

 

He got up from the couch and bowed.

 

« Good night, Mrs Tanabe. It was nice to see you again. »

 

Yutaka followed him to the hallway and his disappointed look made him smile fondly.

 

« Are you sure you don't you want to spend the night ? »

 

« And add the torture of not being able to not let you touch me at all ? No, thank you. »

 

He grabbed Yutaka by his collar and whispered against his lips.

 

« You're driving me crazy, I don't even know if the thought of your mother in the next room would be enough to refrain me. »

 

Yutaka groaned softly at his words, and pulled him into a dizzying kiss. They parted regretfully.

Yutaka hugged him tightly before letting him go.

 

« You're not mad at me, right ? That I told my mother about us ? »

 

Takanori shook his head no, and smiled again.

 

« It's important for me. You're important for me. And I plan to keep you all for myself for a long time, so it seemed to be the right thing to do. I am calling you a taxi, no way you're going to go back home alone in the subway at this hour . »

 

« Are you afraid that some random guy could kidnap me just so he could use my body to fulfill his wildest fantasies ? »

 

« Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of, because I indeed have a lot of fantasies about your body, so I won't be surprised if others had the same ideas. Unfortunately for me, this will have to wait a bit more. »

 

He turned serious all of a sudden.

 

« Taka... Tomorrow night, just you and I. I'll be taking you somewhere, and after I won't let anything get in our way. I promise. »

 

« I'll be waiting, Yutaka. And I'm looking forward to it, you have no idea. »

 

 

 

 

 

 _Taka_ : « Hey. Just got in my appartment. The taxi guy was nice and cute, btw :) »

 

 _Yutaka_  : « I'm glad you came home safe. »

 _Yutaka :_ « Wait a minute. Are you trying to get me jealous ? »

 

 _Taka_  : « Maybe. Will you get all possessive and needy tomorrow if I say yes ? I'd love that. That'd be hot;)

 

 _Yutaka_  : « You manipulative brat. »

 _Yutaka_ : « I will. »

 

 _Takanori_  : « You're falling in each of my traps. It's way too easy to make you do what I want. »

 

 _Yutaka_ : « You're my ultimate weakness. »

 

 _Takanori_ : « Sweet talker. Good night Yutaka. »

 

 _Yutaka_ : « I miss you. Good night Taka. »

 

Yutaka told his mother good night, and cleaned the glasses before he headed to the shower. He pushed away any thoughts of his boyfriend, because the idea of having to turn the water cold wasn't very appealing, and he knew that he would have to do it anyway if Takanori came to haunt his mind. It was the first time in his whole life he felt so sexually deprived -thank god he had been a cute teenager back then so he didn't have to endure rejection and found himself being asked out more often than not. But this... It took the meaning of frustration to a whole new level. After he'd put on some boxers, he walked into his bedroom to find his phone flashing with new messages from his boyfriend. He smiled before opening them :

 

 _Takanori_ : Just stepped out of the shower. I took care of myself since you're taking me out tomorrow. 

_« pic »_

_Takanori :_ All shaved and smooth skin... 

 

Yutaka's breath got caught in his throat when he saw the picture, who showed a close up of the silky back upper high of a thigh... Yuataka could see the roundness of an ass cheek at the top of the image, and barely muffled a groan. _Tease._

 

 _Yutaka_ : Jesus, Taka.

 _Yutaka_ You know I can't go back to the bathroom for a cold shower right now, my mother would be suspicious, right ?

 

He could almost picture the smug grin of his feisty boyfriend right now.

 

 _Takanori_ : I just wanted to keep you updated. And I used a vanilla flavoured body lotion. I had this for ages and was waiting for the perfect occasion to try it. Since I know you like vanilla, I'm quite sure you'll like tasting it on my thighs, what do you think ? 

 

 _Yutaka_ : Damn.

 _Yutaka :_ I don't even know how to write anymore, since my whole blood ran away from my brain to somewhere else.

 _Yutaka :_ RIP me.

 

 _Takanori_ : I was worrying a bit, thinking that maybe you'd forget me and our date as soon as I'd left you, so I'll keep reminding you of me until tomorrow night, just in case;)

 

 _Yutaka_ : Hahaha, I couldn't keep you out of my head even if I wanted to, Taka. Now even less. But god help me if you're going to send me messages like this one until tomorrow night. You're going to drive me insane.

 

 _Takanori_  : Hehe

 _Takanori_ : Yutaka ?

 

 _Yutaka_ : Yeah ?

 

 _Takanori_ : You care for me, right ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : You know I do.

 

 _Takanori_ : Care to prove it :) ?

 _Takanori :_ You'd do anything I'd ask you, right ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : I think I'm a bit afraid because of the smiley thing. But yeah, sure. As long as nobody's hurt ;)

 

 _Takanori_ : I can't promise...

 _Takanori :_ You're going to have to promise me something.

 

 _Yutaka_ : Oh. Okay.

 

 _Takanori_  : I want to remind you until our date just how much I've been wanting you all this time. And I think maybe it's fate that prevented us to have sex until now. Just so we would enjoy it even more when we'll be able to.

 

 _Yutaka_  : Fuck fate.

 

 _Takanori_ : Haha. No. Fuck me;) Soon. But before, as I'll be teasing the shit out of you just to keep you on the edge, I want you to promise me... No touching yourself.

 

Yutaka groaned again. Here went all his plans of having a little relief before going to sleep, watching this sweet-looking thigh and imagining how it would feel on his tongue. As his reply took more time to come, a new message flashed.

 

 _Takanori_  : I knew it. You were planning to, naughty boy.

 

Yutaka flushed and hurried to type back.

 

 _Yutaka_  : Not at all.

 

 _Takanori_  : Oh. So my picture didn't turn you on ?

 _Takanori_ : My bad. I thought you liked my body. Maybe you just don't.

 _Takanori_ : Guess maybe you're glad you didn't had to see it tonight.

 

 _Yutaka_  : Taka.

 _Yutaka_ : Don't say things like these. Of course I like your body.

 _Yutaka_ : And I don't know what I'd give to be able to see it right now. You know this.

 

Seeing that his boyfriend wasn't replying, and afraid that he'd somehow managed to make him doubt the appeal he could have on him, he typed another reply. If Yutaka had learnt something all along their years of friendship, it was that Takanori's acts were always a mean for him to hide his lack of self confidence.

 

 _Yutaka_ : And yes, I totally planned to. As soon as I saw your pic. You're really turning me into a sex maniac right now. Happy ?

 

 _Takanori_  : :)

 _Takanori_ : Really ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : Yeah

 

 _Takanori_  : Huhu

 _Takanori_ : You have no idea how much I want to turn you into a sex maniac, babe.

 _Takanori_ : So, no touching ? Promise ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : Humph.

 _Yutaka_ : Okay, I promise.

 _Yutaka_ : Guess I'll have to find someone else to touch me instead.

 

 _Takanori_ : Yutaka !!!

 _Takanori_ : I can't believe you ! I'm so mad at you. Good night.

 

Yutaka briefly laughed imagining his upset boyfriend. He pushed on the call button, and waited until Takanori spoke.

 

« I don't want to talk to you right now. We've not even slept together that you want to find someone to cheat on me already. What's wrong with you ? »

 

Yutaka laughed softly.

 

« You perfectly know the only one I want is you, sweetheart. I was kidding. And I wanted to hear your voice before going to bed. Without touching myself. As I promised you. »

 

Takanori huffed, and Yutaka could picture him rolling his eyes.

 

« And I can promise you something else. You're going to pay for every time you tease me. »

 

Takanori let out a small squeack.

 

« Can't wait for this already. Good night, Yutaka. Have plenty of sleep, you'll have to be prepared like an olympic athlete for tomorrow night... »

 

« You bet I will. Good night, baby. »

 

 

 

The next morning, Yutaka had three more messages on his phone when he woke up. He sat himself in front of his mother to enjoy the breakfast she prepared for them and began reading.

 _Takanori_ : Good morning.

 _Takanori_ : Been dreaming of you. It wasn't really an all audience rated dream. If you see what I mean ;)

 _Takanori_ : Have you been a good boy ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : Glad to know that I was in your dream.

 _Yutaka_ : Whatever I was doing to you will be nothing compared to what I really plan to do;)

 _Yutaka_ : And yes, a very good boy indeed.

 

 _Takanori_ : That's my boyfriend <3

 _Takanori_ :You'll be rewarded for this. As soon as I'll get my hands on you.

 

 _Yutaka_  : Sounds good. See you in half an hour ? I want my morning kiss.

 

 _Takanori_  : Sure things. Morning kissES.

 

 

Yutaka put his phone back on the table, to find his mother grinning at him.

 

« What ? »

 

« You look so happy. So I am too. I like Takanori a lot... »

 

« Yeah... Me too... »

 

« I figured. Finish your coffee already, don't make your boyfriend wait. »

 

 

He was a bit disappointed to not find Takanori on his usual spot on the parking lot. He walked out of his car and looked around, but his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

 

 _Takanori_   : Here you are. Wanna find me ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : hu ? Yes ?

 

 _Takanori_  : Enter the building. Walk until you pass the elevator's doors, then take the hallway on your right. Second door on your right.

 

 _Yutaka_  : ...Okay ?

 

He followed the instructions, passing by the reception desk and waving at the girl who worked there. Luckily she didn't pay much attention to where he was heading, because it obviously wasn't his usual way to go to work. When he passed the door Taka mentionned, he found himself in dark stairs. He laughed softly, shaking his head and mumbling something about Taka's shenanigans.

 

 _Yutaka_  : Hum... Where am I going now ? Are we playing hide and seek ?

 

 _Takanori_ : Go downstairs. First door on your right.

 

Yutaka obeyed. He wasn't completely in front of said door when it opened slightly, and Takanori grabbed him, pulling him inside the dark room and locking the door quickly behind him. He didn't let any time to Yutaka to recover, pushing him backwards until he almost fell on a chair. He then straddled his still dumbfounded boyfriend, and sat on his lap, and caught his face in his hands before kissing him hungrily. Yutaka didn't lose time, and despite the surprise he answered the kiss eagerly, but let Takanori have the lead of the kiss. It was nice, being devoured like this first thing in the morning. Takanori seemed to enjoy it too, and took his sweet time to deepen the kiss and let his tongue and teeth claim Yutaka's mouth. The elder's mind went cloudy with lust and want, his whole body set on fire by the kiss, and by Takanori's body grinding against his.

Just when he was beginning to slide his hands under Takanori's shirt, his boyfriend just broke the kiss, and smiled at him with a mischievous grin.

 

« Good morning babe. » He sounded a bit out of breath.

 

« Good morning Taka-chan. »

 

He smiled, and tried to catch Taka's chin to kiss him again, but Taka was quick to escape his hand and got up, and Yutaka found himself frowning at the loss of his boyfriend's warm body. Takanori smiled again, apologectically.

 

«Aww. Don't be upset, Yutaka. We can't do much more now, or we're going to be late for work. I just wanted to warm you up and kiss you properly before, as a reward for being such a good boy, that's all. »

 

Yutaka shook his head. Takanori was really planning to make him crazy with all the teasing today.

 

« I can't believe you. You drag me all the way here and now you won't even let me touch you ? In what hell have I landed myself on ? »

 

He looked around him. A small place with some old furniture.

 

« And what is this place ? »

 

« Oh, I heard Kathy once in the rest room, bragging about the time he got the guy from the cleaning staff to give him head here. I kept the information about this storing room, in case it would come handy. And it finally came. »

 

Takanori winked and gave him a peck on the lips, before exiting the room.

 

« Now it's time to work, dear. Make sure you tame that wild thing in your pants before you met anyone, though. »

 

Yutaka laughed at Taka's choice of words.

 

« You know you're actually worsening your case, right ? »

 

He heard a chuckle as Takanori was exiting the room.

 

« I do hope so. And it's only morning, I wonder how you will survive the day, mmmh ? »

 

 

Ten minutes later, Yutaka , still a bit constricted in his pants, entered his office where he was supposed to find Yuu to begin their first day of working together. He was relieved to see that his new manager wasn't there already, and sat behind his desk, deciding on checking his mails while waiting.

He was surprised to see he had one from Takanori, from... 5 minutes ago ?.

He hesitated before he opened it, and his heartbeats increased, sending once again his blood running south. A close up of Taka's flat and pale chest, his fingers resting under an obviously erected nipple.

 

Yutaka gulped.

 

«I can't wait to have your mouth on me. Good luck for the morning meeting <3 »

Yutaka wasn't aware he'd been staring at his screen for so long until he heard someone clearing his throat. He looked up to see Yuu standing in the doorframe.

 

Damn , this day was going to be deadly long.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update in two weeks ;) Hope you're as impatient as Yutaka can be^^!  
> Your comments always make my day, so don't be shy <3
> 
> And, just saying, but I will update Boys Don't Cry later today, if anyone's interested


	9. Good things come to those who wait...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for ONS return, right? 
> 
> Just like chapter 8, this one will mostly be about Yutaka and Takanori... I let you on a cliffhanger somehow, and some of you seemed to be frustrated ^^, so I hope this update will make it up for the wait! It's longer than usual, too.   
> Yuu and Kouyou will be back next chapter, I promise!  
> Please enjoy!

9)

 

After Kouyou's morning show, he and Takanori had usually a little break and a coffee together. This morning though, Kouyou looked weirdly embarassed. It had taken him some minutes to dare to ask if Taka would be bothered if he asked Yuu to join them.

 

Takanori had rolled his eyes, half amused, half concerned. Kouyou has blushed slightly.

 

« You know, he's new here, he doesn't know anybody, and he won't probably dare to take any break on his own if I don't go to ask him. And I'd like to check on him, because he seemed a bit stressed this morning, and I'd really want him to feel accepted and part of the team, and- »

 

« Oh, and how do you know he was stressed this morning ? »

 

« I... I waited for him to arrive on the parking lot. I brought him coffee. I wanted him to feel welcome. » Kouyou was blushing anew.

 

Takanori sighed.« Kouyou... »

 

« I just try to be a good friend, and a good co-worker, that's all. » Kouyou tried to defend himself.

 

« I know, I know. Just... Don't set your hopes too high, maybe ? You'd hurt enough already, waiting for him to return your feelings. All he wants from you is friendship, okay ? And you're a great friend, Kouyou, I know that too. But I also know you're not over him.»

 

Kouyou had explained him what had happened between him and Yuu on the roof before they got interrupted.

 

« I'm working on this, I swear. But it doesn't harm anyone if I want to spend time with him, right ? »

 

Kouyou's defeated look made Takanori soften. He shook his head, remembering all the times Kouyou supported him when he had hard times dealing with his feelings for Yutaka.

 

« Go find him and I will wait for you in the break room. I know you're doing your best, Kouyou. »

 

Kouyou grinned and exited the room almost running. Takanori smiled at his friend's enthusiasm, and went to the break room where he stopped in front of the vending machines. He took four black coffees, and looked at the snacks displayed there, hesitating between matcha flavoured Kitkats or orange flavoured one's.

 

His eyes suddenly shone at something else he saw in the machine, and he got quick to pay for his items.

As Kouyou and Yuu arrived not much later, Yuu thanked Takanori for the coffee. He wasn't used to be so pampered and was really appreciating how welcoming his team was acting. He hadn't been very surprised when he had seen Kouyou waiting for him on the parking lot first thing in the morning, but it had made him happy nonetheless.

 

« Hi everyone ! Good morning, manager-san ! »

 

Akira entered the room, a huge plastic box in his hands. Kouyou's eyes brightened at the sight.

 

« Oh my god Aki ! Are those Haruko's waffles ? »

 

Akira laughed at Kouyou's hopeful tone.

 

« Yeah they are ! She wanted to thank you for the last time you came to help her with Mako. But she said you'll have to share these with us, she'll bake more next time you'll come over. »

 

« I don't know how you get so lucky, Akira, really ! Your wife is a gift from god ! You certainly don't deserve such a jewel ! »

 

« Oi ! Do you want me to keep the waffles from your greedy hands, Shima ? Don't ever say this again, or I will tell Haruko to not feed your sugar addiction anymore, okay ? »

 

Yuu and Takanori laughed at their banter, and the new manager couldn't help but tease Kouyou a bit.

 

« I didn't know there were junkies in my new team. Sugar addiction, Kouyou, really ? »

 

Kouyou huffed, and rolled his eyes playfully.

 

« I swear I'm not ! I've just a soft spot for Haruko's waffles. »

 

Takanori snorted.

 

« Yeah, right, Haruko's waffles, Yutaka's pancakes, the chocolate donuts from the french bakery next my appartment... »

 

« Right ? And you haven't even seen him in front of his own mother's chocolate and almond cake. This cake just sends him on cloud nine each time he eats it. »

 

Kouyou almost spat his coffee at these words, caughing madly. Yuu was frozen on his spot, a dark blush covering his whole face.

 

« Oh, is that so ? » He could barely speak, his voice strangled. The mere souvenir of this special cake made him weak to his knees, and as he crossed Kouyou's eyes, he could see in Kouyou's look that the memory was as vivid in the young man's mind than it was in his own.

 

_Figure._

 

Takanori and Akira, though, seemed to misunderstand Kouyou's embarrasment. They kept on mocking him about his love for sweet and sugared things, while the poor guy tried to breathe normally after having swallowed his coffee the wrong way.

 

When he dared to look at Yuu with apologetic eyes, all he could do was smile weakly and fondly to him. No matter how hard he tried, the recollection of what happened between them this night wouldn't fade away. And to be honest, Yuu didn't really know at this point if he really wanted it to.

 

« So, Shiroyama-san, how's been the morning working with Yutaka? »

 

« Good, really. Yutaka-san is a good leader. I'm sure you all know it. He handles a lot of things, and he is very capable. But... »

 

Three pairs of concerned eyes turned towards Yuu.

 

« But ? »

Yuu sighed, a bit flustered.

 

« I don't know. He looks... stressed ? Each time he receives a message on his phone he seems on the edge. I can tell that he has something that distracts him. That keeps him from being completely focused on his work. Does he have problems ? »

 

Akira and Kouyou looked at each other, perplexed. Honestly, they had never have to deal with a distracted Yutaka. The guy was always a perfect professionnal and never let anything to get between him and his beloved radio. The only thing that could really get Yutaka to not be able to focus on work...

 

This thing was a person, indeed.

 

The two friends turned narrowed eyes towards Takanori, who wore a guilty look on his face. Akira arched an eyebrow at him.

 

« Taka ? Do you have any idea why Yutaka seems a bit out of it today ? »

 

Takanori gulped. Yeah, he had been planning to keep Yutaka on the edge all day, but he hadn't been planning this, that his little games could actually get him into troubles with the new manager. What if he managed to spoil all the efforts Yutaka had put in his job for so long ? He had to find a way to fix what he had done.

 

« Ah. Yeah. I think I might have an idea. Yutaka wanted to get everything perfect for your arrival, manager-san. But as he had a lot to deal with on the last days, I think he's probably stressed because he still has some things he needs to check before he thinks he's completely ready. He's such a perfectionnist, you know... »

 

His friends expressions were still a bit wary, but luckily for him Yuu seemed to buy his poor excuses.

 

« Oh. Oh. I get it. Maybe I should give him a bit of time to get thing as ready as he wants them to be, what do you think ? Maybe one of you could show me how things work around here, while Yutaka-san works without stress ? »

 

« I could show you around, if you want to » Kouyou replied hurriedly. He seemed to realize how rushed his answer was. « Unless you'd rather follow Akira or Taka, of course. » He added with a sheepish smile.

 

« That would be nice of you, Kouyou. Thank you. Takanori, can you please tell Yutaka that I will leave him to work in peace for the rest of the day ? »

 

« Sure thing, manager-san ! » Takanori was relieved. He was going to be able to keep on teasing Yutaka as planned, without getting him in trouble. And if he could judge by Kouyou's beaming face, everybody seemed happy with the situation.

 

 _Takanori_ : « Relax, honey. Shiroyama-san will spend the rest of the day exploring the radio with Kouyou. »

 

 _Yutaka_ : Oh ? Good. I wanted to get things done anyway. But why are you telling me to relax ?

 

 _Takanori_  : Manager-san thought you were a bit jumpy and stressed. I wonder why ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : I thought I was good at hiding it :/ …

 

 _Takanori_  : Do you feel relaxed, now ?

« pic »

 

The picture showed Takanori's tongue darted between his full lips, licking a bright red lollipop in a more than suggestive pose.

 

Yutaka cursed under his breath. _Fuck_.

 

 _Takanori_ : I bought a whole package of these yummy lollipops at the vending machine. I'm going to eat them all and practice my skills on them before I could use my tongue on something even more delicious..:)

 

 _Yutaka_ : You're the devil himself.

 

 _Takanori_  : Hehe. Can't wait ;)

 

Kouyou and Yuu spent the rest of the morning visiting the radio, and Yuu learnt a lot. Kouyou was trying to not be too obvious in his happiness to have Yuu for himself the whole afternoon, but it wasn't difficult to see that he was delighted. He showed Yuu every aspect of the technical stuff (he spent a lot of time here with Takanori out of his working hours, chatting and helping his friend, as he'd rather be there than alone at home) and then it was already time for them to have lunch. Akira and Takanori joined them not long after, and Akira told them Yutaka wouldn't make it with them because he still had a lot to do. They all laughed at Takanori's crestfallen face, and decided to head to their usual place to eat, dragging Yuu along with them.

 

 

 

Yutaka was beginning to have a headache. He hadn't been eating with his friends for lunch in order to look for the perfect place to take Takanori for their very first date, but couldn't find anything that seemed to suit his expectations.

 

A fancy or more intimate restaurant ?

 

Japanese, Italian, French cooking ?

 

Yutaka sighed deeply. Nothing looked as good as he wanted... Besides, if he was being honest, diner wasn't exactly what was on his mind when Takanori came to haunt his thoughts.

 

But... No... He couldn't just drag Takanori to the nearest love hotel, even if he'd rather not eat and enjoy his boyfriend's body as the main course of the menu.

 

He was a gentleman, after all, and he loved romantic settings. And Taka deserved to be treated with the utmost care, even if he was the one rendering Yutaka crazy with all the teasing. It was a shame, Yutaka thought with a smile, that restaurants didn't offer rooms in which you could have diner and sex in which way you wanted. Ah... Wait a minute ! Restaurant didn't offer this, but he just thought about a place who could provide them everything to spend a wonderful evening.

 

An evil smirk appeared on his lips.

 

 

 

Yutaka had closed himself in his office for the rest of the day. He had been able to handle all the work he had to do now that his mind was free from the worry of finding a great place to take Takanori to. He made sure that their evening would be the most romantic and memorable, booking for two and ordering flowers, champagne and the finest food. He felt a bit more serene now that it was done, even if Taka kept him on the edge, sending him messages and pics that would have melted the Antarctica.

 

 _Takanori_  : Babyyyyyyy. I miss you ! Why did you locked yourself in, I can't come by surprise now...

 

 _Yutaka_  : That's exactly the point, sweetheart. I have a lot of things to clear up before I can take you out tonight. You wouldn't want me to cancel our very first date because I still have work to do, right ?

 

 _Takanori_ : You wouldn't dare !

 

 _Takanori_  : Would you :'(?

 

 _Takanori_ : Baby ?

 

 _Yutaka_ : I would NEVER.

 

 _Yutaka_  : I have things planned for you and I tonight, and it'd be a lie to say that I'm not dying looking forward to it all ! But I'd really, really like to finish everything here, so that I could focus on our date only. On you only. I will do my best to make this evening unforgettable and worth the wait, I promise.

 

 _Takanori_  : Awww... You're the best <3 and ok, I'm going to leave you alone so that you'll be able to work as hard as you can.

 

 _Takanori_  : But you won't escape the teasing, I'm afraid :)

 

 _Yutaka_  : I would have been surprised... And disappointed ;)

 

 _Takanori_ : * vid *

 

On Yutaka's phone screen, Taka's face appeared, his brows creased and his lips parted, as he was letting a low moan escape. The camera went lower then, and Yutaka could see his boyfriend's unbuttoned jean, with a hand disapearing behind the waistband of his boxers. Another moan, and the camera was back on Taka's face. « Can't wait... » was all he whispered with a wischievous wink, before ending the video.

 

Yutaka's throat went dry. Again.

 

 _Yutaka_  : YOU SAID NO TOUCHING !!! TAKA !!! YOU CHEATED !!!

 

 _Takanori_  : Hehe did my video just riled up my always quiet boyfriend ? You're wrong, babe, we said no touching for YOU.

 

 _Yutaka_ : THAT'S NOT FAIR !

 

 _Takanori_  : Don't be mad. I promise I didn't do anything else than what you witnessed. I'd rather wait for tonight. I hope it set up the mood, though;)

 

 _Yutaka_  : My sweet Taka... Maybe you should take a day off tomorrow... Who knows what could happen to you this evening, or if you'll be able to walk at all after... Just saying...

 

 _Takanori_  : Promises...:) Go back to work now ! I'm sending you strong coffee, too. Drink it <3

 

 

 

 

Takanori wasn't patient. He'd never been. And at the end of the afternoon, when he finally could tell he was done with his work, he could barely suppress the grin that spread on his lips. He shut down his laptop, checked the rooms as always, locked what he had to, and escaped the building as fast as he could. He thought he was going to find Yutaka on the parking area, but felt an unpleasant drop of his stomach when he saw that Yutaka's car wasn't there anymore.

 

« What the hell now ?! »

 

Doubt began to make his way through his mind. Did Yutaka change his mind ? Maybe he had been fed up with Takanori and his teasing and childish attitude ? Maybe he realized he wasn't ready for this ? Maybe he-

 

« Hey, Taka ! »

 

Frowning, he turned to face Akira, who was walking in his direction.

 

« Hey... Did you see Yutaka ? We were supposed to meet here... And... »

 

Akira chuckled seeing his friend's worried face and was quick to reassure him.

 

« I know, he told me. He had to go because he wanted to get there before you, to get everything ready. I'll drive you there whenever you want. He asked me to take care of Koron, too, because he didn't plan to let you go home after, hehe... So I'm taking you at your place if you want, and I'll bring Koron home with me ...? »

 

Takanori was relieved. Yutaka still wanted to spend the evening with him. Yet he was a bit confused.

 

« To get everything ready ? Where is he taking me that he needs to get everything ready ?

 

« Ah, don't ask, I'm not allowed to say ! I'm just the driver. »

 

On their way to his place, he couldn't help but send his boyfriend a message.

 

 _Takanori_  : Baby ? Why all the secrecy now ? Where are you waiting for me and why do you have to get things ready by yourself ? 

 

 _Yutaka_  : Shhh Taka, you won't have any answer until you're there:)

 

 _Takanori_  : Damn. I'm getting worried :) Do I have to wear something special ?

 

 _Yutaka_  : Worrying won't change your fate for tonight, I'm afraid so, hehe. And no, you can come as you are if you want, you'll still be the loveliest thing around. And whatever clothes you should choose won't stay on you for long anyway...

 

They found themselves back in the car not so long after. Taka had just taken a shower and changed into skinny black jeans and a white shirt with rolled sleeves, while Akira was enjoying a beer on his couch, playing with his dog. He had taken time to style his hair nicely though, And to apply a bit of make up. Because, eh, first date, right?

 

He felt so excited and giddy, thinking about it.

 

Before he started the engine, Akira turned to him an handed him something. Blindfolds. Hu?

Taka's uncredulous stare made him giggle.

 

« What the fuck Akira ? »

 

« Don't ask me, Yutaka's rules. You won't see where we go. »

 

« Damn, there was a time I would have actually paid for you to ask me to wear blindfolds, you know? »

 

« Yeah, I know you're a naughty little thing, and I can't help being that irresistible, sorry! Now put them on, Taka, I don't want problems with your boyfriend! »

 

They kept on chatting mindlessly all along the drive, but Taka was growing a bit nervous. His stomach was full of hysterical butterflies.

 

Taka felt the ground of the road change into gravel, and Akira whistled under his breath. Surely they were on some kind of parking area, which meant they were arrived.

 

« Yutaka didn't joke when he said he wanted to treat you to something really special. This place looks beautiful, and it certainly don't come for free. Lucky you ! »

 

Takanori snorted.

 

After he'd pet a last time Koron blindedly, Akira helped him to get out of the car, and lead him inside. Inside what, he didn't know yet. A woman's voice greeted them when they passed the automatic doors.

 

« Good evening, gentlemen. I'm Karin. You must be Matsumoto-san, right ? Tanabe-san let precise instructions concerning your well being, and I can promise you'll have a wonderful experience here. But you're not allowed to put off the blindfolds, okay ? Thank you, Suzuki-san, I'll take great care of Matsumoto-san from now on... »

 

Akira chuckled.

 

« I'm not wishing you a good evening, Taka, because it seems that it will be the case anyway. Enjoy, you both deserve it !» And with a tap on his shoulder, he was gone. Thinking that he had to keep this place in mind and check when Kouyou will be available to look after Mako for a whole week-end. He definitely had to take Haruko here too.

 

Takanori felt the woman -Karin- grab his hand.

 

« Follow me, please. »

 

He did, realizing that the ground was probably a wooded floor if he could judge by the sounds of their footsteps. Funny how he was trying to figure out where he currently was with little clues. The place smelt like lavender and eucalyptus, and he liked it. It was soothing. Karin opened a door, as he could guess from the sound of it, and they entered a room. It smelled like incense and the temperature was much higher than in the previous room. A soft music payed in the background.

 

« Now, Matsumoto-san, I'm going to take your clothes off, if you don't mind. »

 

Takanori stuttered.

 

« I'm sorry... What ? »

 

The woman chuckled.

 

« Don't worry. Tanabe-san ordered something special for you, but to take care of yourself, I have to get you in only your boxers, okay? »

 

« Oh... Okay ? »

 

Taka felt self conscious and weirdly weak, with his blindfolds still on and his clothes being removed by the hands of the woman. For the first time in his life, he was aware that he was lucky he hadn't any disability. It was awkward, to say the least.

 

« Okay, Matsumoto-san, now you're going to lay down here, on your belly. Can you tell me what sound is more relaxing, for you ? Birds, ocean, wind in trees, rain... ? »

 

Takanori was beginning to see where all this was leading. He did as he was told, and laid on a kind of padded table, thinking about the question he'd been asked before answering.

 

« Rain, I guess? »

 

Karin merely hummed, and he heard her rummaging through things ( CD's, probably) before a soft rain noise, mixed with some quiet piano notes, could be heard. Than she spoke to him, almost whispering.

 

« Now you're going to think about something you really like, something that relaxes you the most, and focus on the music, okay ? Tanabe-san said you had been under a lot of stress lately, and that he wanted you to enjoy this moment. »

 

And then he felt the hands of the woman beginning to move, slidding, pushing, massaging his back with some kind of heavily scented oil, and he let out a small groan of satisfaction. She did knew how to use her fingers, applying pressure where his muscles needed it the most, loosening all the tension there, gently rubbing other areas, sending Takanori straight to heaven. He totally lost all notion of time and space, and only ressurfaced when Karin put some hot towels on his back, now ready to take care of each of his legs. He let himself being carried away by the skillful hands of the woman, and drifted to drowsiness.

She gently woke him up when she was done, helping him to a sitting position. His body felt like marshmallow, and he didn't remember if he had ever felt that limp. She then gave him a dry towel, and instructed him to wrap his waist in and put his briefs off. He did it cautiously, barely trusting his legs. Then she took him by the hand again, and brought him to another door. When she opened it, a puff of really hot and damp air hit him in the face, and she was quick to guide him to sit on a cushioned bench.

 

She told him, again in a hushed voice, that he had to stay there for a while and to keep on focusing on his relaxation. She reminded him to keep the blindfolds on too, and Takanori nodded, let his head fall back against the wall with a happy sigh. He stayed motionless on the bench, enjoying the warmth and the moist of the hammam. He realized then how much efforts Yutaka had put into this evening, and how he'd thought about everything to spoil Takanori, despite all the teasing he'd submitted him all day long. A fond smile made its way on Takanori's lips, and he jumped a bit, taken aback when he suddenly heard a whispering voice coming from somewhere in the cabin.

 

« God... You're so beautiful »

 

« Yutaka ? » Takanori left a hand to put the blindfolds off, but a gentle grip on his wrist prevented him to do so.

 

« Yeah, that's me. And no, you're not taking these off for now. My surprise isn't over yet... »

 

« Hey ! That's not fair ! You're able to see me, and I barely have anything on, and all I am allowed to do is stay here and just hear you ? »

 

It earned him a low chuckle.

 

« Who's teasing, now, baby ? »

 

He was rendered unable to answer by a pair of soft lips pressing against his. Yutaka was nibbling his mouth gently, licking and dominating the kiss easily, while Takanori was melting completely under his touch. Yutaka broke the kiss, a bit breathless and grinning as Taka could guess at the tone of his voice.

 

« Hi, sweetheart »

 

« Hi, babe. I missed you today. »

 

« Missed you too. »

 

He felt Yutaka's forehead against his.

 

« I hope this evening will make up for all we missed, the last couple of days and... The last couple of years, too. Now you're going to be a really good boy and just let me have my fun with you, like you had yours with me all day, right ? I promise to make it good, like _really, really good_. And then we will have our fun together. How does it sound ? »

 

Takanori was breathless. He was delirious with anticipation, and earing Yutaka, so close to his ear, purring seemingly innocent words, with so much dirty undertones, made him hot all over, and he didn't know if he could take much more.

 

« Amazing... It sounds amazing... »

 

Yutaka chuckled again, and it made something burn in Taka's belly.

 

« So compliant, so obedient. I was expecting a bit of a tantrum from my rebellious little boyfriend. » he paused, and Taka could feel his boyfriend's hands cupping his jaw, and murmuring in a soft tone, before kissing him passionately. « My sweet, sweet Taka... »

 

And he just was coming undone with a kiss, allright.

 

Nothing in the world mattered other than these lips, tasting his mouth like if it was the most refined food, leaving open mouthed kisses on his jaw and neck, and venturing lower on his chest. He swallowed a moan when he felt Yutaka sucking deeply there and lightly bitting him, and couldn't suppress a whimper when he understood Yutaka was actually marking him all over with love bites here and there, leaving evidences of his claim on him. He was so turned on it was difficult for him to breathe normally or think, and he let himself black out totally, shutting his brain of any thought, only allowing himself to _feel._

 

The amount of sensations he was receiving was nearly too much, and it was probably enhanced by the fact that he couldn't see any of what was happening to him. His other senses were making up for the lack of sight though, and he was flooded by the smell -Yutaka's cologne and skin, mixing with the eucalyptus scent of the room- , the sound – Yutaka's heavy breathing and his own moans- the taste -Yutaka was kissing him like a madman in between two love bites, and he tasted like mint- and the touch -his skin was so sensitive, he felt like he was able to sense the growing tension between them, and some parts of his body were already more than begging for attention. He began to try to touch Yutaka too, but felt his hands being pinned above his head, while his boyfriend whispered to him that _it wasn't time_ , that _he wasn't done yet_ , that _he had to be patient and let him do what he wanted._ So he gave up and let Yutaka resume his explorations, now gently sucking and rubbing a nipple, making Takanori arch his back and gasp in surprise.

 

« Does it feel good, baby? »

 

« Oh, god, yes... More!»

 

Yutaka obliged, and Takanori mewled. Yutaka mouth was all over him again, leaving wet trails on his belly, softly nibbling around his belly button, and then it was bitting and licking the tender flesh of his inner thighs, making Takanori moan weakly. The heat was beginning to make him feel dizzy, and Yutaka must have felt it too, because he slowed down his movement, caressing lovingly all the places where he had left impressions of his passion.

 

« Ne, Taka? We should get going, hammam isn't meant for long stays. Come on, sweetheart!»

 

Takanori followed with shaking legs. And a painfull erection. When they'd passed the hammam's door, Yutaka made him sit on a chair, while he was pouring some fresh water in a glass and helped him drink it. He drank some too, and took Taka by the arm.

 

« I'm taking you to the final step of my surprise, Taka. You will have the permission to take off the blindfolds soon, okay? »

 

Takanori nodded, and followed. He heard Yutaka opening a door (a sliding door, if he heard right) and closing it behind them. Under his feet, wooden floor again, and encense burning in the room. He kept on walking, still following Yutaka's heading, and jumped, a bit confused when he felt stones under his soles and felt a light breeze on his body.

 

« What are you doing, Yutaka? Seriously, we're outside and I'm almost naked and- »

 

« Don't worry, nobody's here but me. I wouldn't let anybody have the chance to see you so barely covered. Trust me. And now, you have to take a few stairs down... Yeah, like this, again... That's it! »

 

Takanori gasped at the sensation of hot water against his skin. He was beginning to understand where Yutaka had taken him.

 

« A private onsen? Really? Oh my god, Yutaka, I've always dreamed of this! »

 

Yutaka laughed at his boyfriend's words, and helped him to sit comfortably in the onsen, letting just his upper torso outside the water.

 

He then cupped his jaw and swiftly remove the blindfolds that kept Takanori in the dark. The young man let out a new gasp, his eyes having to get used to the light again, but already scanning his surroundings and taken aback by the beautiful place they were in. They were actually in a private onsen, the inground pond made of soft stones, the hot spring flowing quietly around them. They were encircled by stone walls, a few blossoming shrubs and littles bonsais, and a stone path leaded from the onsen to a wide opened bay window, that looked onto a wooden room, sparsely furnished. A wooden king sized bed with white thick duvets had the place of honor in the middle of the room, and a bit on its left was a comfy looking _kotatsu_ surrounded by fluffy pillows. flowers of all kinds were disposed in glass vases all around the room. The almost-summer sun was gently shining above their heads, warm enough for them to enjoy.

 

Takanori was breathless, and all he could do was suttering, his eyes shining with emotion.

 

« Oh my god! Oh my god, Yutaka, it's beautiful... It's... amazing! I don't know...I don't know what to say! »

 

« I'm happy you like it. I had a hard time finding somewhere that would be perfect enough to take you to. I wanted something special, and I wanted a place where we could have both diner, relaxation and, well, where we could enjoy each other without having to bother with people. I hope it will fullfil all my expectations. » He added with a suggestive wriggle of his eyebrows.

 

« It already fullfils mines! » And with a delighted laugh, Takanori threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck, while Yutaka didn't lose time to lean and catch his lips. Soon the towels they had around their waist were thrown out of the pond, and their wet skin met, setting on fire their whole bodies. They'd endured so much frustration the past few days, now that they finally were able to touch each other and to let their passion show it was almost unreal. Yutaka's hands were everywhere on Taka's body, feeling, touching, exploring, and the young man was losing himself in the sensations of his boyfriend's affections, whining and moaning, and it only seemed to spur Kai further. He let his fingers slide down Takanori's arched back, and began to prepare him while he was keeping on making him lose his mind, whispering huskily in the crook of his neck all the while.

 

« Relax, honey... I promise I'm going to make it good... Yeah, like this, such a good boy... Enjoy, babe, I'm going to make love to you until you can't properly think anymore... Hum, you're so sweet and beautiful... God, yes, Taka, moan again for me... Beg for me... »

 

And Takanori wanted to say that that was already the case, he couldn't already think anymore, but he couldn't even talk coherently, the fingers of Yutaka reducing him to a delirious mess, as he began to beg shamelessly like he was asked to.

 

« Please, Yutaka, please... I want you... Don't let me like this, please... »

 

Yutaka opened his eyes to watch Takanori's face contort into a pained expression, and it made him lose the little control he had on his pulsions. He caught his lover's waist and made him straddle his lap, keeping on soothing him with hushed naughty whispers, and began to push into him, making Taka's eyes snap open, and they dove into each other's stare, finally becoming one.

 

« You're mine, now, all mine, say it, babe, tell me... »

 

« Yours... I'm yours, yours only... Yes... »

 

At this pace, though, it would have been surprising if they'd last long. They were too turned on, too excited by the agonizing anticipation they'd had to put up with, and they were craving too much for their release to even think about slowing down or breathing. Their climax sent them both in a blissful nirvana, panting and chanting their names as they came undone. They stayed there, hugging each other, kissing lazily, waiting for their brains to function properly again, giggling a bit because of the exhilaration of it all.

 

« Heaven must look like this... » Takanori whispered dreamily.

 

« I don't think any angel of heaven can compared to you. »

 

Takanori was left speechless. He left his head from the shoulder he was leaning against, a bit flushed, and took a look at Yutaka, his red cheeks and his soft serious gaze as he caught a strand of wet hair to tuck it behind Taka's ear.

 

« I know we've barely been together but... I love you, Taka. I hope you won't mind me telling it so soon. You have no idea how long I've been dreaming about this, how long I've been longing to have you in my arms. I hope I'm no scaring you, but I can't help myself, I love you. »

 

« Yutaka... You know I ain't scared of nothing, right? » the young man began, a playful pout on his lips that made Yutaka chuckle weakly. « And certainly not about you loving me, because I love you too. I'm serious about us, as friends as much as lovers. I'm ready for this... » And as to seal what had just been said, he pressed his lips against his loved one's.

 

And a growl coming from his stomach ruined the romantic moment. They both bursted into giggles,.

 

« I promised to take care of you and now I'm starving you, what kind of a boyfriend am I? I'm going to give them a call to have our diner delivered,okay? I ordered some sushi and sashimi, some gioza too, sweet and sour duck with rice, and some heavily sugared desserts for you to enjoy. Hope your majesty will be satisfied with the menu! »

 

« My majesty loves the menu, and the special name too! Be careful, baby, I could get used to you treating me like royalty, though! »

 

« Not a problem, I plan to treat you like royalty whenever you feel like it. But, as you mention it, I remember you'd planned to treat me with a special attention, too? Something that had to do with the practice you had with these lollipops? »

 

Ruki laughed at his lover's words, shaking his head mischievously.

 

« Let's eat some actual food, and I promise I will show you how well the practice went... »

 

 

They ended up cuddling on the bed, after having a delicious diner and a second round of sex, this time a lazy and slow one, exploring less impatiently and more thoroughly each other's bodies. Yutaka had promised Taka to supply him in lollipops for practising as much as he would want to, after he'd got a taste of Taka's skills. They were now huddled under the fluffy warm duvets, still naked. Taka hadn't wanted to close the bay window, the sky was beautiful and he wanted to make the best out of their night. He sighed contentedly, almost already asleep.

 

« This bed is a dream, honestly. It feels like a fluffy cloud. I told you it was heaven... »

 

Yutaka weakly laughed as an answer. « It is, as long as you're here. Love you, Taka »

 

A mere whisper. « Love you too. »

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love each one of the comments you all wrote, please keep on reacting and telling me how you feel about this story!  
>  See you in two weeks for the return of our star couple <3 Thank you for reading!


	10. It's not going to stop...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> Here's chapter 10... Can you believe I first planned it to be a two-chaptered story? I'm such a chatterbox^^ (does anything like a "writterbox" even exist?)  
> Anyway, back to our star couple, and please meet Akira's wife. Enjoy!

_"It's not_

_What you thought_

_When you first began it_

_You got_

_What you want_

_Now you can hardly stand it though,_

_By now you know_

_It's not going to stop_

_It's not going to stop_

_It's not going to stop_

_'Til you wise up..."_

_Aimee Mann, Wise Up, from Magnolia's soundtrack_

 

 

 

 

 

Takanori was exhausted.

 

He honestly didn't know how he was going to endure a full day of work after the night he'd spent.

 

He hadn''t expected Yutaka to wake him up in the middle of the night for a third round of passionate sex … Neither had he expected him to wake him up again at dawn, carrying him bridal style still half asleep in the onsen, to gently kiss him awake and show him once more just how much he loved him.

 

Then they'd showered and dried themselves, and they'd had breakfast in a coffee shop on their way to work. Yutaka was usually a cheerful person, but when he'd kissed Takanori before heading for his office, a few minutes earlier, he was litteraly glowing.

 

Takanori had a dreamy smile on his face when he entered the break room, He needed coffee. A lot of coffee, to survive the day. At first he didn't notice Kouyou and Akira who were having their own dose of cafeine there, in a corner of the room, before beginning their work.

The dark bags under his eyes and the slight limp he had when walking had the two childhood friends raise their brow at each other in an amused and confused way.

 

« Taka ? »

 

« Hum, yes ? Ha, 'morning guys ! What's up ? »

 

« We won't ask you how was this first date, your smile and the way you walk are clear hints that everything went well, right ? » Akira asked in a slightly mocking tone.

 

Takanori blushed.

 

« Err... It was... Great. No, not great, it was better than great, actually. » He paused. « Thanks for taking care of Koron, Aki. And thanks, both of you, for your help... I don't think Yutaka and I would be where we are today without you. »

 

Kouyou approached and caught Takanori in a bear hug, and he looked at Akira with a dramatic sigh, saying in an over exagerated emotionnal tone :

 

« See, Aki, our boy has grown so much ! »

 

The three of them bursted into giggles, and they chatted a bit more before they all went to their respective spot and begin their day. And Takanori wasn't surprised to find a message on his phone.

 

 _Yutaka_ : I already miss you. Yuu-san wants us to have lunch all together today, so I'll see you then. Maybe we could go to Aki to pick up Koron after work, and we could order some pizzas and spend the evening together at your place ? I know you don't like to let Koron alone... Or maybe you'd like to have the evening for yourself ? I don't want to impose. Tell me what sounds better to you.

 

 _Taka_ : I will drop by your office later, if Yuu-san isn't around I'll come to steal a kiss. We will do just what you said, and I spent enough evenings all by myself already, I'd rather spend them now with my hot boyfriend <3

 

 _Yutaka_ : Yay ! <3

 

Takanori was already rejoicing for the upcomming evening... But... He was kind of hoping that Yutaka would somehow be as tired as he himself would be tonight... Otherwise he was going to be dead tired on the next days !

 

 

 

A few days later...

 

During his first week at work, Yuu learnt a lot about his new job.

 

He had asked the team to keep on working as they usually did, as if he weren't here. He told them he wanted to observe them, to have a global view of how they functionned. He spent a lot of time with Yutaka, who actually handled a lot of things, much more than what was healthy for just one person. Yuu was impressed by the way he was leading the Radio, always aware of what was going on everywhere, from the technical issues to the management of the investments that had to be done, from dealing with the advertisements -their principal income- to always looking for new things to improve their shows.Yutaka was a natural born leader, and he did everything with a cheerful smile and a caring attitude, always mothering his friends and co-workers at the extreme, even cooking for them when he had time, or pampering them if they felt sick. No wonder they were always ready to help him.

 

He was also impressed on how Akira, Takanori and Kouyou were invested in their jobs, too. They were working very seriously on every aspect of their shows, always helping each other, listening to advices and giving them, brainstorming when it was needed, and the host always had the last word when it came to his own show.

 

Yuu thought it was admirable that nobody tried to appropriate the overgrowing popularity of the radio as his own, and that everything they did was indeed a team job. It was the first time for him to work in such a friendly and cool atmosphere, and to say it was refreshing was an understatement. In his previous jobs, a good part of his time was spoilt by dealing with the massive egos of overweening radio hosts. Here, he realized he would have much more time to actually collaborate with the team, and less stress.

 

At the end of the first week, he asked Yutaka to come and joign him in his office for a little debriefing before they would all gather for a meeting.

 

As Yutaka was sitting in front of him, he couldn't help but smile at the guy's nervousness.

 

« Hey, relax, Yutaka-san. Everything's fine, ok ? Tell me... How's been that week ? »

 

« Hem...? The week was fine, as you could see we had some troubles with the old consoles and that created a lot of mess, and I'm sorry we couldn't resolve it as soon as I planned it. I'm afraid I'm not as capable as I'd like to be... »

 

« Are you kidding me ? » Yuu cut him, widening his eyes.

 

Yutaka shifted uncomfortably in his seat. « Hu ? Sorry ? »

 

« You've handled so many things this week only, I wonder how you didn't explode and kept your self control. Seriously, you can't keep on working like this, you're going to fall sick for sure. I'm impressed, Yutaka-san. By your capacities and your never-ending enthusiasm. Now, I'd really like you to listen to me. I am going to tell you what things I think I can manage from now on, and you're going to tell me if there's anything in my proposition that bothers you. I think I will probably need you for some of these tasks for a few more days, until I'm familiar enough with them to make them work, but it's time for you to breathe a bit, right ? First, I want us -you and I- to have a daily debriefing. What I like most here is the way you're all working together as a team, I'd really like to keep it this way and have my place in this team, rather than being a guy in his office managing a team he doesn't know shit about. So from now on, we're managing the team together. I will ask the big bosses to promote you as my deputy manager in a few weeks -it's a bit early to ask them anything yet, but I promise you it will be done as soon as I can. But there's one thing I am going to ask them now, it's new equipment. I visited the building and I saw you're the only team working with such old stuff. Every others had really modern and functionnal gear. There's no way we can work efficiently without good equipment. Besides, Radio Jack has had the best audience progression these last months, so you deserve to have good gear to keep on the good job, right ? »

 

Yutaka let out an embarrassed laugh.

 

« Hum, yeah ? I mean, new equipment would be awesome ! I dared to ask for it once, but our old manager didn't want to hear anything about it. »

 

« Well, sometimes you have to invest money if you want to earn more. You have things more important to do than deal with fixing all these old shitty machines. I want you all to focus on what you want to improve, and I want you to save all your energy for it. »

 

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Akira's head peaked bith the doorframe.

 

« You called us, Yuu-san ? »

 

« Yeah, come in ! I want to speak to you all. »

 

Akira entered, followed by Takanori, who slightly bowed at Yuu before sitting next to Yutaka and sending his boyfriend a look of sheer adoration. Kouyou followed close, holding five paper cups of coffee precariously in his hands. He put one of them in front of each of his bandmates, and the last one in front of Yuu, paired with a sweet smile that made Yuu's heart wanting to escape his chest.

 

Radio Jack team had been really nice to him from the beginning, but Kouyou had been the sweetest of them all.

 

Yuu knew he shouldn't let himself be moved by his kindness, but each time Kouyou brought him coffee, things to eat or offered to walk him to his car (he had everyday, never listening to Yuu's objections) it was difficult for him to not feel overjoyed. He thanked Kouyou with a smile of his own, and the happy look on the guy's face was enough to make him happy in return.

 

« I wanted to congratulate you all for the great job, and to assure you of my inconditionnal support whenever you'll need it. I just told Yutaka that he would be my deputy manager as soon as I could ask for it. »

 

The three friends cheered at a flustered Yutaka.

 

« And that I already ordered new equipment for all of you guys. » The whole team was now cheering at Yuu, who stopped them with a chuckle and a wave of his hand. They kept on talking quietly, Yuu thanking them to have accepted him and make everything easier for him in helping him to find his marks.

 

At the end of the meeting, Akira turned towards their new manager. « Hu, Yuu-san ? It's my birthday tomorrow, and we're having a little barbecue party at my place at the end of the afternoon. I'd be glad if you would join us. »

 

Yuu looked at him, a surprised look on his face.

 

« Really ? I mean, I wouldn't want to intrude. You probably all saw me enough here and want some time by yourselves on week-ends, don't you ? But that's very nice of you to ask, thank you ! »

 

« Hey, you just said we were all making a great team ! A great team manages to find time to have good moments too, not only work. Come on, Yuu-san, it'll be fun ! » Takanori pleaded, looking at him with puppy eyes. 

 

Yuu looked at him, shaking his head in an amused way. « I- » He threw a glance at Kouyou, who had stayed silent since Akira had invited him- and as he saw the expecting smile gracing his lips, he knew he wouldn't refuse.

 

He'd been trying his best to keep what he felt for Kouyou at bay all week long. Each morning he woke up with a lighter heart than the day before, and if he actually felt at ease in his new job with his new workmates, and enjoyed the feeling of being able to live a normal life by himself, he also knew his mood improvement had a lot to do with Kouyou.

 

The mere fact that he would be seeing him at the radio was enough to bring a smile on his face. He tried to convince himself that it was because it felt good to know someone in a new environment, that Kouyou's presence was comforting because he was somehow a familiar sight in a foreign place. He didn't understand exactly what was going on in his brain that kept him on the edge at the idea of seeing him, he supposed that his feelings were a bit biased by what had happened to them back at the hotel, that somehow the memories of these two nights had a bit messed up his head. Anyway, he would probably see clearer in some weeks , when his tired mind and body would have taken some well deserved rest and would have endured less stress. Then everything would be back to normal and he would be able to build a normal friendship with Kouyou, with no more of these stupid blurred feelings. But at least he could indulge in spending time with him at work, and during their free time if they could.

 

Anything, as long as they wouldn't be alone together.

 

But deep inside he knew that wasn't the only reason why he was so eager to see him and spend time with him. He would never let it show. Because it was too dangerous, for both of them, for their jobs. and Kouyou definitely deserved better.

 

« Well, okay, I'll come then. Yutaka, really, if Takanori does this kind of pleading look each time he wants something, you're in for a wild ride ! You'll have to learn to be strong. »

 

Everybody laughed at his words, except Takanori who took the most innocent look, battling his eyelashes and pretending to ignore what Yuu was talking about. Yutaka caught him by the waist, and exited his manager's office, still laughing.

 

« Good evening, you all, see you tomorrow at Aki's ! Come on babe, let's go home ! »

 

« Good night everyone ! » Takanori waved at them happily, followed by Akira, who told Yuu he would send him his adress later. Kouyou picked up the empty coffee cups to throw them in the thrashcan, and turned to him expectantly.

 

«Can I walk you to your car ? »

 

Yuu smiled at him and snorted.

 

« Even when I say no, you always find a good reason to do it anyway ! »

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Kouyou had the surprise to wake-up to a message on his phone.

 

 _Unknown number_  : Hey. It's Yuu. I hope you won't mind me messaging you, I kinda need some ideas for a gift for Akira's birthday. As you're his best friend I thought you would probably be the more competent to give me some advices about it. Hope I didn't wake you up. Good morning, by the way:)

 

Kouyou's heart made a joyful little dance behind his ribs. He hadn't dare to give Yuu his number since the man had appeared in his life again, so it could mean only one thing... Yuu hadn't deleted his number when he'd left the hotel. Maybe it didn't mean anything, maybe he just forgot to delete it, but maybe, just maybe... Yuu hadn't wanted to let him totally go. And that was something, right ?

 

He quickly typed a reply, not wanting Yuu to believe he'd bothered him.

 

 _Kouyou_ : Hey ! Good morning to you too. No problem, as far as Akira's concerned, I'm the most competent specialist in the area, I know him better than his own mom:) Lately he's been really into a series of books, I will send you the link if you want to, he's already got the first trilogy.

 

 _Yuu_  : Thank you so much ! I will wait for the link then, and will go shopping before heading to Akira's place. Now I'm going to clean a bit this place, I haven't had time to properly unpack my things since I arrived ! What about you ?

 

 _Kouyou_ : Having a lazy morning for now, but I'm going to have to clean after, I'm afraid. My mother called me last evening to tell me she would come to visit and stay a few days, so it's better be sparkling clean, you know what I mean ?:)

 

 _Yuu_ : So she's really coming to look for a place and go to Uni ? That's great !

 

 _Kouyou_  : For now she's just coming to fill administrative forms and begin to visit appartments. But she won't give up, that's for sure !

 

 _Yuu_  : And mommy's boy is happy to have her for himself for a few days, right ?

 

Kouyou chuckled. And blushed.

 

 _Kouyou_  : Hey. Don't call me that.

 _Kouyou_ : But you're right, I'm glad that we could spend time together far away from the rest of the family.

 

Kouyou finally found the courage to got up from bed, since he was just laying there while texting his friend. He stretched his arms and went to the kitchen, and prepared some coffee, while Yuu kept on writing him. They were still messaging each other when Kouyou went for a shower, and they kept on chatting when they both began to clean their homes, until it was finally time for them to leave their house to go to Akira's.

 

 

 

 

Yuu had barely rang at Akira's door when somebody opened it enthusiastically. A beautiful young woman was standing there, a big contagious smile on her face.

 

« Hey good evening ! You must be Shiroyama-san, right ? I'm Haruko, Akira's wife. Nice too meet you, please come in ! »

 

Yuu found himself smiling back at her, bowing and replying that he was honored to meet her too, and that she could call him Yuu. She lead him in the kitchen, where Akira and Yutaka were

busy preparing everything for the barbecue, and chatting with Takanori.

 

« Hey Yuu-san ! Glad to see you !Here, take a beer ! »

 

Yuu grabed the bottle Akira handled him, and asked if he could help them with something.

 

When he went closer to the huge double windows that opened on the garden, he was surprised to see Kouyou there, holding a little baby -probably Akira's daughter, in his arms. He was slowly rocking her back and forth in a rocking chair, and as far as Yuu could see, he was talking to her. The little girl looked like she was about to fall asleep in Kouyou's arms, maybe lulled by his voice. Kouyou seemed not so far to fall asleep himself, and he looked the most sereneYuu had ever see him. He felt a weird warmth invading his chest.

 

« Ha, Akira, in less than five minutes you'll have two sleeping beauties in your garden ! » Takanori chirped beside him. « Usually, Kouyou kept me company while Yutaka and Akira were preparing the food. We used to tease and bother them, but now I'm alone to bully them and it's not funny anymore. Since Mako's birth, Kouyou doesn't even notice me. » He sighed dramatically, and pouted.

 

Akira chuckled.

 

« Our precious Taka-chan here is being jealous. Before Mako was born, as the youngest of us all, and the pretty whimsicall whiny cutie we all know, Takanori was kinda our favourite little thing on earth, and he was used to be pampered and spoilt. Since Mako now stole the attention he craves for, he throws tantrum from time to time, but he has learnt that as he is a big boy now, he has to act like one... And make all of us proud of the responsible person he is becoming... »

 

Akira winked at Taka and leaned to give him a peck on his temple. Taka's pout made everyone giggle, and Yutaka couldn't resist. He caught his boyfriend hand and made him turn to face him.

 

« Hey, you're MY favourite sweet little one, okay ? I will take care of you and give you anything you want, you know that ? »

 

Takanori beamed at his words, and forgot they were actually surrounded by their friends, as he caught Kai's lips with his own for a tender kiss.

 

« Oh, guys, please stop ! It's disgusting, right ? Take a room or something!- Oh, hi Yuu, didn't know you were already here... »

 

Kouyou entered the open kitchen with a sleeping Mako in his arms, much to her mother's delight.

 

Yuu's heart felt weak at the sight. Kouyou was holding her close against his chest, one of his large hand on the baby's back while the other was distractingly stroking the soft hair on the little head. He didn't looked very much awake neither, and he was smiling softly to him.

 

« Ah thanks Kouyou, you're the best ! I swear I'm going to keep you here with us, you're so good at making her sleep ! »

 

« You're welcome, Mako is such a good pupil ! But I guess I will have to tell her more about Avatar's story and how it could be related to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet again, because I think we both fell asleep while I was explaining it and I'm afraid she didn't quite get it... »

 

« Kouyou said he would teach Mako everything she had to know about life, music, movies and books, so that she wouldn't have shitty tastes and would have a good beginning in life... »

 

Akira snorted, earning a death glare from Kouyou, and a slap on his arm from his wife.

 

« Hey, what was this for ? »

 

« I forbid you to disrespect Kouyou, he's very good at soothing your daughter when she's crying, and he always helps me a lot with her, so leave him alone, right ? He takes his duty as the ultimate perfect uncle very seriously. »

 

She winked at Kouyou, who grinned back and pulled out his tongue at Akira.  The abused husband let a sigh.

 

« Oh damn, I wonder If I didn't prefer when you hated her... »

 

Yuu felt confused. Kouyou hated Akira's wife?

 

« We will take her to her bed now, so that Kouyou will have his arms free to eat with us. Do you want to visit, Yuu-san? »

 

He nodded and followed Haruko and Kouyou on the first floor, and as Kouyou was going straight to the last room at the end of the hallway, Akira's wife showed Yuu the first room on their left.

 

It was a lovely place, with white shelves all around the walls, and books everywhere. Dark thick oriental carpets on the wooden floor, two flowery comfy-looking armchairs, and a huge desk full of papers and a laptop. The huge window behind the desk was letting the sun illuminate the place in soft tones. Yuu was charmed by the quiet atmosphere of the place.

 

 

« This room is my office. I work here most of the time. I need peace to write, and this is the best place I've ever had. Aki redecorated it for me when we moved in. This is the place he spent the most time renovating. » Haruko smiled proudly.

 

« I didn't know Akira knew how to do such things ! And he's good at it, really, it's a beautiful place. »

 

« Haha yes he is, but don't tell him too much because he'd brag about it for hours ! Let's find Kouyou and Mako ! »

 

They arrived at Mako's room – wooden floor too, soft pastel rugs, white furniture, and lovely naive paintings on the walls- as Kouyou was very carefully laying Mako in bed. Haruko smiled fondly at the sight, while Kouyou covered the baby's leg with a fluffy blanket. Yuu didn't honestly know where his weakness for baby-sitter Kouyou came from, but seeing him so caring and soft made him melt.

 

He tried to turn his attention somewhere else, directing it at the frames on the walls. Above Mako's little bed, lovelies white and black pictures of the baby : in the arms of two elder women, probably Haruko and Akira's mothers, another one with Haruko lying on a sofa, Mako resting on her mother's chest, both of them looking peacefully asleep, two with Akira : on the first he was holding a giggling Mako above his head, the second a close up where he was kissing softly his daughter's forehead. Another one showing Mako on a blanket in a garden, surrounded by Yutaka, Takanori and Kouyou, the three of them sitting in the grass, laughing and looking at her. And the last one, showing a very newborn baby in Kouyou's arms, who wore a look of pure awe on his face.

 

On the opposite wall, near the window, some beautiful squetches of little girls, traditionnal looking prints but in manga style.

 

And on the other wall, small frames with soft watercolors naive pastel ducks. A lot of them. Yuu looked at them closer. He chuckled at the sweetness of the drawings.

 

«These are cute, right ? Kouyou painted them all. » Haruko whispered, trying to not disturb Mako's sleep.

 

« Really ? » Yuu was surprised.

 

Everyday he discovered new things about Kouyou, and each time it was to find something even more endearing about him. Kouyou was surreal, in the best ways. And it scared him, honestly. At first, he was sure someday he would learn something that would prove him that he had been right from the beginning, chosing to not get involved in a romantic relationship with him. And he was still waiting for it to happen, but on the contrary, the whole universe seemed to plot against him to prove him he'd been wrong.

 

Yuu was stubborn, and he knew he couldn't let himself develop feelings for Kouyou, because it would lead them both for sure to disaster.

 

But it was proving itself more difficult each day, to not like Kouyou.

 

« Yeah, he's very good, right ? I always tell him he should paint more» Haruko grinned.

 

Kouyou blushed at the praise, shaking his head and replying with a whisper of his own.

 

« I only know how to paint ducks, so I guess it doesn't make me a painter. »

 

They exited the little girl's bedroom as silently as they could, and Haruko showed Yuu the first room to their left, her's and Akira's bedroom, all dark wooden tones and brown and dark purple duvets and curtains, very cozy and warm.

 

In front of their bedroom was an unoccupied one, and Haruko smiled softly, telling that it would probably be their next child's room when the time would come.

 

Then they came to the last door of the hall, and when Haruko opened the door, Kouyou looked flustered.

 

« And this is Kouyou's room. »

 

Yuu looked at her, confused.

 

« Kouyou's room ? »

 

This room was smaller than the others, but bright. Cream walls, a double bed with big pillows, dark red curtains and duvet, and shelves with books in a corner of the room. And some movie posters framed on the walls. Star Trek, Avatar, X-Men... Yuu smiled. Nerdy Kouyou, right ?

 

« Kouyou and Akira lived together for a long time. Actually, they took an appartment together when they left their respective families, and shared it until we decided to move in together. Akira was adamant on having a place here for Kouyou, somewhere he could feel at home in our house. So we bought a big house. And he's currently renovating a small room we have on the basement to make it a place for Taka.  Rather, for Taka and Yutaka, now.» She smiled at Yuu. « We're a family. That's how Akira loves his friends. »

 

« Akira's lucky to have a wife who understands his need to have dedicated rooms for his friends in his house. I don't know many people who would agree with that... »

 

«He is, indeed. » Kouyou hadn't spoken since they left the baby's room, and now he looked at Haruko with a fond smile. « We're all lucky that Haruko still wanted to stay around and bear with us after all we made her endure at first ! »

 

Haruko chuckled at the young man's words, and she stepped between them, catching each one of them by the arm and leading them downstairs.

 

« Maybe we should go to find the others, because we were supposed to be eating, what do you think, gentlemen ? »

 

 

 

They joined Takanori who was setting the table, while Yutaka and Akira were taking care of the barbecue. When everything was finally ready, they all took place around the big family table in Akira's garden, and they began to enjoy their lunch, everybody chatting mindlessly. Yuu felt incredibly at ease, amongst these long time friends. Takanori took the bottle of wine and began to pour the dark liquid in everybody's glasses. Akira frowned when he saw he hadn't much to drink in his own glass.

 

« Oi, Taka ! You were more generous when you wanted to get me drunk to drag me in your bed, I swear ! »

 

Yuu chocked on his food. What was Akira saying ?

 

Takanori merely laughed, and poured some more wine in the glass Akira was handling to him.

 

« Well, yeah, but I had a good reason, right ? What would it bring me to get you drunk today ? »

 

Yuu briefly glanced worriedly at Haruko. Was she going to take offense about what her husband and one of his friends were talking about ?

 

« Don't worry, Yuu ! » She'd noticed the way he'd looked at her and was coming to his rescue. «I know Takanori had a crush on Akira way before we met. Actually, that's _why_ we met. »

 

«Oh, really ? » Yuu was relieved, to say the least.

 

The last thing he wanted was to have to witness a domestic fight between Akira and his wife.

 

She chuckled. And Takanori winked.

 

«Well, I don't know what got into me at the moment, but the thing is, I was VERY into Akira. Don't ask me why, honestly. Was it the dummy face, the muscled body, or the shitty tastes as long as fashion is concerned, I dont know. »

 

He giggled, while Akira was throwing him a piece of bread.

 

« Hey ! Leave me alone, I'm telling a story, here ! Kouyou had tried to put some sense into that stupid brain of mine, telling me Akira was more straight than a broomstick, but I still thought I had my chances to make him mine. Whatever. So I tried to figure out a plan to make him realize that he could be gay maybe, and that plan involved to drag him to a manga convention, to make him discover some really cool yaoi mangas, and while he was at reading them, to have the revelation that he could be gay, and that he could be gay with me as an option. So we went there, bought some books, and as the author of one of my fave yaoi manga was there, signing books, I decided to go to meet her and took place in the queue with my dummy straight crush. Fatal error. The author was a beautiful, smart and straight young woman, who had the same taste as me for dummies with toned arms, and these two just had a kinda love at first sight revelation in the middle of the crowd. The rest is history.  I had one of the worst heartbreak you can imagine, and tried to hate her for the rest of my life. Which is not that easy, considering that she's one of the most lovable thing I have encountered in my life. »

 

Haruko smiled, and got up to find a new bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. When she passed besides Takanori, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

 

« Takanori and I became quickly very close despite the situation. We have very similar tastes in almost everything – not just Akira. That makes our friendship very strong. It's been a lot more difficult to tame Kouyou, though... »

 

« To tame Kouyou ? » Yuu was confused. Kouyou was the nicest person he knew. How did she have to tame him ?

 

Kouyou sighed. He was a bit reluctant to share this part of their frindship history, since it wasn't something that really showed him on his better side, but he supposed that now that haruko mentioned it, he had to explain.

 

« Yeah... Akira and I... We're best friends since elementary school. I was a very lonely kid, and people used to bully me. Akira came to defend me one day, and nothing teared us apart since that day. It was the two of us against the rest of the world. When we reached teenage, I stupidly developped a crush on him. As I'm not very patient, I didn't waited for long before confessing, and luckily for me, Akira didn't run away from me, but he still rejected me nonetheless. Straight as a broomstick. Not even a chance. I got over this, not very easily but he still was my best friend, and I really had to forget the stupid crush if I wanted our friendship to survive. Somehow I did it, and it wasn't too difficult because if Akira was popular amongst girls and was always dating at least one of of them, he never developped feelings for them. As we were dreaming of since our childhood, we took an appartment together as soon as we were done with high school. Then we met Taka, and the three of them bonded so quickly, it was really weird, because it was just like if Taka was someone we were waiting for, you know ? He came to live with us quickly. And I understood quickly too that Takanori wasn't interested in just a friendship with Akira. And I wanted to spare him the heartbreak, but it was already too late. As he's more stubborn than a goddamn mule, he began to think of plans to get Akira in his bed... And Akira met Haruko, and this time, I... I really thought I was losing him for good. He wasn't on earth anymore, lovestruck, he was only talking about her, thinking about her, and spending as much time he could with her. Then Taka, who I thought was heartbroken too, and was supposed to be on my side, you nknow, began to befriend her too, and I felt so betrayed, so jealous. She was taking the people I loved away from me, and I was feeling so lonely, and I thought that it would be it, they would all leave me and I would end alone, just like when I was a child, and everybody around had friends, but not me. I talked about it with Akira, tried to explain him that she wasn't the good girl for him, and for the first time ever we fought. So I hated Haruko. And then Akira proposed her. And I hated her more. I was so scared and lost, and so sad. I didn't see the efforts she was trying to make, to include me in their life, all that I could see was that Akira was going to marry her and disappear from my life, and how happy Taka was when he got to spend time with her on their regular shopping days. Then she came to see me, a few weeks before the wedding. Akira had sent me several messages to ask me to be his best man, and I said no. I wasn't even planning to attend the wedding in the first place, my whole life was falling appart and I didn't see any way to prevent it. She came and I was so surprise to see her at my door, when all I ever showed her was hatred and despise. I didn't wanted to listen to her but guess what ? She's just as stubborn as Taka. So she talked and the only thing I could do was listening. She begged me to try to tolerate her, because Akira was miserable. Because of me. Because he needed me and I wasn't there for him anymore. She showed me I was the one who was slowly shutting the people I loved out of my life, not the other way around. And somehow I understood what she was trying to say. I went to the wedding, and was Aki's best man. And I learnt to not hate Haruko so much. Then she announced us she was pregnant. And asked me to be the baby's godfather. You have no idea how this moved me. I'd never been kind or anything with her, and she asked me this ! When I asked her why, she just said that Aki was thinking that I was the sweetest and most reliable man he knew, and that she trusted his opinion with her life. And I understood I had been the greatest idiot on this planet all these while. We made peace, and she began to ask me to take her shopping for baby related things, and we slowly became friends. Haruko is one of the smartest and kindest people I know, and I'm grateful she still wanted me around after I behaved like a total asshole. »

 

Haruko smiled at Kouyou.

 

« I'm the lucky one here. I grew up as a single child, with a single mother. With Akira I found not only a husband, but also a family as you all came along. And I'm happy Mako can grow up with as many caring and protective uncles ! I'm a bit scared for teenage Mako, though, because when she'll begin to date boys... »

 

« Hey ! Boys won't get to touch my daughter... Not until she's legal. At least. »

 

« I agree. The first one who tries will have to fight me before ! » Kouyou added, a dark look on his face.

 

« She's only a few months old and has each one of you guys wrapped around her chubby little fingers. You can bet she will use her charm with boys too ! »

 

Haruko chuckled, throwing Kouyou, Akira and Takanori on a rant about which standards would be necessary for a boy to date Mako when the time would come. And you could bet a lot of money this perfect boy obviously couldn't exist...

 

Evening turned into night, making Akira get up from his seat to find some candles to lit on their table, as chatting alternated with laughters and teasings. Akira, Haruko, Yutaka and Takanori were first surprised that Kouyou, usually the quieter of them all, took part so actively in the conversation. But they were understanding soon that he was only trying to make Yuu at ease, making sure to adress him from time to time, and Yuu seemed to appreciate the effort their friend was making, and was looking more relaxed than ever. All in all , they were all having a great time, and as Kouyou listened to Yuu's laugh, he remembered the first time he caught a glimpse of the guy, and how he'd wished he could make him laugh, how he wished he could see him happy. And he realized, right there and then, that he was on his way to witness it. And that his own happiness was probably depending on Yuu's, somehow.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm thankful for each comment you leave here :)  
> They mean a lot, and it's really important for me to know how you feel about the progression of the fic.   
> I'm going a bit out of my confort zone now, because I've only written one more chapter, and then i'll have to put with the two weeks deadline, lol. Hope I'll manage it fine!   
> Thank you for reading <3


	11. Genius ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter I should have posted last week. Again, I'm sorry for being late.
> 
>  
> 
> You'll probably notice that this chapter is shorter than the usual ones, and it will probably be the shorter of the whole fic. If things go the way I want them to, we still have at least 4 or 5 chapters and some drama ahead before the end. I hope to be able to write more on the following weeks :)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Yuu was pacing back and forth in his appartment. 

He'd woken up not too early, since Akira's party had lasted until late in the night. They'd been talking and drinking wine, and Haruko had brought the birthday cake decorated with candles so that Akira could blow them. Then he'd opened the gifts that were waiting for him – a video game from Kouyou, a tee-shirt of his favorite band from Yutaka and Takanori, a leather wallet from Haruko and the books Kouyou had told Yuu about- and thanked profusely his friends and wife, his teary eyes betraying his emotion to be so spoiled, and the fact that he'd had a bit too much to drink, too. Then they'd all agreed that it was time for them all to go home. But before they'd left , Kouyou had thrown an invitation of his own. His birthday was in 13 days, and he thought it would be great to have all his friends -he'd included Yuu amongst them without even thinking about it, and Yuu'd been stupidly happy then- for a diner, and then maybe they could go out all together, just like good old time. Everybody had agreed cheerfully, and Yuu had nodded with a smile, earning himself a joyful grin from Kouyou. Takanori and Yutaka were the first ones to leave, and Kouyou and Yuu had followed short after, thanking their hosts for the great evening. They'd gone to their respective cars that were parked side by side, and had stood there, silent and a bit awkward, before they'd wished each other good night, and he'd driven out of Akira's alley under Kouyou's stare, the young man enjoying a last smoke, leant against his own vehicule. He'd waved at him with a soft smile, and Yuu had returned the gesture, feeling a bit empty after having spent the last hours in such a good company. 

He'd gone to bed after a long shower, and had slept soundly until late in the morning.

And now, he didn't know what to do with himself. He'd finished to unpack all his belongings the day before, a few boxes of books and CDS, some bags of clothes, a few frames he'd taken from Sakai's appartment before he left, and that was all. He hadn't wanted to take things that could remind him of anything from his previous life. He'd wanted a brand new start, clean from whatever had happened before.  
He'd cleaned up his place, hung up said frames on the walls of his living room. He was lucky to have found a furnished two-rooms appartment, and even if the place therefore lacked personnality, the furniture was kind of nice and it would look cozy once Yuu would have make some additions to the simple decoration, like some pretty curtains or some cushions on the couch. He planned to go shopping in the following week.

Now he was satisfied with how his place looked like, neat and all, but how was he going to spend the rest of the afternoon ? He had some books to read (when he'd gone shopping the day before to find Akira's gift he'd chose some for him too), or maybe he could watch some movie ? Or go for a walk, since the weather was really nice. The sun was flowing through the opened windows.

Ahhhh it was annoying, really... Because... The thing he really wanted to do now ? 

That was texting Kouyou. Or even maybe call him. Hear his voice.

He thought maybe that could wash away the loneliness he felt now, alone in his new appartment. He first thought he'd be ok on his own, but it was harder than he'd bargained for. But he knew he should resist his urge to take his phone. Kouyou was probably happy to have some time for himself. Besides, Yuu shouldn't let Louyou think that he was suffering from his current loneliness. Neither should he let him know that he was missing him, because it was ridiculous. They'd just seen each other the day before, and would be together again at work tomorrow. 

He sighed heavily, and let himself fall on the couch, putting back his phone on the coffee table and turning the tv on. Ah, great. A re-run of Challengers on fire...

 

Kouyou was laying on his own couch, his tv on, his thumb just about to hit the « send » touch. He'd woken up not so long ago, and as always his thoughts had quickly drifted to Yuu. He'd seemed to really appreciate the evening at Akira's, and had smiled a lot. Kouyou was happy that Yuu got along so well with his own friends. That wasn't surprising, though, since he knew he had the greatest friends in the whole world. And Yuu was such an wonderful person too...  
What was he doing now ? Kouyou was growing frustrated, because he had no idea on how Yuu was spending his time outside work. Was he into sports ? Music maybe ? Did he like to go for long walks ? Was he playing video games ? Damn...

He was bored. Usually he'd probably had texted Takanori and they would have gone to eat an ice cream or to see a movie. But today Takanori was probably having the ice-cream somewhere with Yutaka. Kouyou felt stupidly jealous. Were all his week-ends going to be that lonely and dull from now on ? If it was the case, he'd have to find things to busy his mind and hands. For now, though, all his mind wanted to do was knowing how Yuu was, and what was he doing right now. Would he appear as troublesome if he only sent a message? Would Yuu be mad at him ? His hesitation was short lived, as he pressed the button on his device, a litlle knot twisting in his stomach.

Kouyou : Boring sunday here. Wanna have an ice-cream somewhere ? 

Yuu smiled half heartedly when he received the message. Trust Kouyou to always succeed in appearing when he wanted him to. Yes, he'd loved to have an ice cream with Kouyou, anytime. But he also knew it would have been a terrible idea. Going just the two of them sounded too much like a coffee date and Yuu couldn't let this happen. He would be too much out of his comfort zone. It took him some minutes to reply, minutes while Kouyou was wondering if maybe he'd offended his manager when he decided to message him.

The young man hold his breath until he received an answer, waiting for some kind of rejection, or maybe even a very upset Yuu ?

Yuu : Boring here too:) But too lazy to move, honestly. 

Kouyou was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Was it even possible ?

Kouyou : Oh, ok. Sorry if I bothered you:)

Yuu : You didn't. Actually I'm watching Challengers on fire and it's pretty lame ...  
Kouyou : No way ? I'm watching it too ! I don't think the maths student will succeed, honestly, he's too stressed...

...

And just like that, Yuu and Kouyou began to text each other at random moments, and kept on doing this on the foloowing days. But like... Often. They sent morning texts, jokes, thoughts of the day and good night messages, as if they'd always done this. They sometimes followed the same tv programms and commented on them, more often than not laughing their asses off for something the other just said. And what was loneliness, again ?

Kouyou was glad to be able to stay in touch with Yuu like this, he enjoyed the moments they could share, if not in person, at least through their texts. It was almost intimate, in a way that it was only the two of them. And Yuu... Yuu was happy. It felt good, to spend time talking with Kouyou, as the young man was always a good company, always caring and funny, and kind, too. But above all it felt safe. No risk of letting things happen, everything could be kept under control. 

Of course they were also seeing each other at work, plenty, and took all the breaks with the rest of the team. Beside, the mood there was great, Yuu and Yutaka were working in good cooperation and were becomming really good friends. 

And Akira had found a new concept for his show.

The radio fans had been asking for news about Taka and how went his broadcoasted confession, so he posted a pic of the lovebirds together, holding hands and looking lovestruck, and it made the telephone switchboard explode, the radio's Instagram gained a lot of new followers and Radio Jack won more popularity.  
Now Akira wanted Taka to have a fifteen minutes spot in his show to give relationships advices to answer questions he'd receive from the fans. Takanori had refused first, looking disgusted by the mere idea of it, but everyone had insisted so much, and Yuu had explained what Akira wanted more clearly than the host did. Which was : giving relationships advices but Takanori's style. Sarcastic, free, rock n'roll. And Yuu was good to persuade people to do things they didn't want to, so Takanori finally agreed. And it lead them all to unexpected bursts of giggling when they were reading crazy fan mails and their questions. The beginning of Takanori's show would be in a few days, and they were all looking forward to it.

Takanori had also had ideas of his own to promote their shows and surf on the wave of the pic's popularity. They would do a bit of live stream randomly, a few minutes per day, to give their fans a taste of « behind the scene ». Takanori was sure fans would be delighted to see them live. And he was right.

This morning, it was Kouyou's turn to be filmed. He wasn't that fond of the idea, but as everyone was spurring him to do so, he let Takanori in during his show, and his friend recorded him while he was giving last minutes music recommendations, and saying goodbye with a little wave at the camera, crinkling his nose a bit in embarrassment. He'd asked to not have to talk directly at the cam, because unlike Akira, who was very at ease with it, he didn't like that much to be recorded. They ended the show, prepared all they had to for the afternoon session, and Taka posted the video, before they all went to eat.

Yuu and Yutaka were the firsts to return to the radio in the beginning of the afternoon. They were now working in the same office, at Yuu's demand, and Yutaka was grateful for this. Yuu treated him like his equal, and they had a great alchemy together, so it was easier and more enjoyable to work. They get along well, too, and Yuu was really happy to have Yutaka around, as he knew so much things and was always in a good mood. Beside, Yuu didn't mind when Takanori appeared at the doorway to ask for « advices » from Yutaka, only to bring his boyfriend out of the room for a few seconds to steal a kiss. Yuu always let Yutaka go with a roll of his eyes each time, but found the two of them too cute to deny them such a simple treat.

Yuu decided to check his emails and to work on new ways to find financial supports from sponsors, when Yutaka gasped from behind his own desk.

« Damn ! Yuu, can you come, please ? You won't believe it... »

On Yutaka's screen was displayed Radio Jack's IG account. And under the last thing they posted -Kouyou's first appearance on screen- tons of hysterical comments. 

SweetBee: What the hell ? Why did you all hide this cutie ? His show is great, but look at him ? AAAAAAAAA @Weirdraccoon LOOK AT HIM !

Weirdraccoon: Omg @SweetBee! Who's this beauty ? Look at the cute thing he does with his nose ? I'm in love. I wouldn't have guessed Kouyou was so hot ! I'm never gonna miss his show ever again ! Hey sweetheart @Redhairedgirl, have you seen this ?

Redhairedgirl : OMG. I'm dead. DEAD. Who's this angel ? 

Taka4ever: Oh I thought I had a crush on Takanori (still love you, Taka, ok?) but this... Please feed us with more videos, we want more Kouyou !!! 

RJ1stfanboy: Oh.My.God. I was already in love with his voice, because it's so damn sexy, but this is a whole new level of handsome ! Hey @venomousguy @libertyRJ @Akiraownsmyheart you really should see the hottie here !

Akiraownsmyheart : Oh God oh fuck !

And so on... 1242 likes, 175 comments, a few marriage proposals, a bit more demands of naked pictures, mind you, and a total hysterical mess all over. 

Yutaka was giggling so much he was crying. As for Yuu, he was stunned. What the hell ? 

« I guess we're gonna have to hire a security crew around the building to protect Kouyou maybe ? The first time Akira posted pics of him and Taka on IG we had a lot of fangirls coming around to ask for signing things and taking selfies with them. Akira had to make a special post to ask them to not do this because it was inconveniencing the neighborhood. He said we maybe would plan a signing event or something like this...»

« Oh my god I hope we won't have to ! » Yuu was worried, now. « But are people serious, really ? Because there are some rather... Weird... And daring... Offers ? I mean, yeah, Kouyou is beautiful indeed and he's got this voice that can make you weak at your knees and all but- » Yuu stopped, realizing that he'd maybe said too much, and blushed violently.

Yutaka's laughter stopped and he looked at Yuu with soft eyes. 

« He is. It's okay, Yuu-san. The team knows. And nobody's judging noone. That's none of our business. » He flashed him a comforting smile, and caught his phone. « We should go to show this to the superstar of the day and Taka. And maybe Akira will want to make a speech about it on his show, who knows ? »

Of course, Kouyou flushed beet-red at the attention he was being given, mumbling things about crazy people who gushed on badly-lit videos and should chill a bit, Takanori's mirth matching obviously his boyfriend's, and Akira saying he totally had to refer to this, at Kouyou's utter embarrassment. 

« No, you won't do this, it's enough, already. Don't spurr them on ! They'll have forgotten all about me tomorrow, so please don't ! »

« Ah, Kouyou, we can't let the opportunity this gives us ! People are hyped about you, and we should take advantage of this. I have to find something to keep the fever alive ! »

They had no idea about how Akira was going to do so... Until the host announced something coming straight from his mastermind brain, a bit later in the afternoon, during his show.

«...Okay guys, now is time to talk seriously. We've been amazed by the number of comments you let us on RJ's Instagram this morning. You all seem to like Kouyou very much, and he deserves it, right ? He's flattered and thanks you all. And as a special thank-you for you all, we're going to plan a challenge here. From now on, all along the day of next week-end, at random moments, we will play a song and announce it as « song for Kouyou's contest ». You'll note these songs, and on next monday, we'll choose between the ones who gave us all the title of the songs and one of you will have the honor to attend Kouyou's show on next thursday's morning. What about this ? Aren't we the best radio team ever ? We love you so much, and we want to spoil you a bit ! So, let's play together, yeah ? And, oh, by the way, Kouyou is very single, just saying... Now, let's listen to... »

It was hard for Takanori to not die from laughing at Kouyou's face when Akira dropped the bomb. And it was even harder for him to prevent Kouyou from bursting into Akira's show to murder him live. All in all, everyone but Kouyou agreed that it was a great idea to increase their audience during the week-end, Yutaka and Taka being the more enthusiastic. As for Yuu... He knew it was a genius move in terms of audience, but... He wasn't that keen of the idea of someone coming to gush over Kouyou during his show. Honestly. Not at all. But there was no way he could say this, so he made do with it, and faked to join the global fervor.

Kouyou was groaning , upset and still a bit mad about Akira.

« Ahhh, I won't even come on thursday. I'll be calling sick. It's too embarrassing. What am I going to say to them ? I won't be able to function properly if there's someone watching me, seriously. And why did he have to say I'm single ? Ahhhhh now it looks like some kind of really twisted and pathetic date matching game. It's awful.»

« Ah, Kouyou, quit the drama, okay ? It's not that bad, you know, and you might meet someone really nice... The good thing is, they already like you if they come, right ? So with a bit of luck, you might like them back, and thanks to Akira, you'll be happy forever after ? » Takanori teased.

« I... I don't need this. You're just the most embarrassing friends someone could have, you know that ? »

« We only want what's good for you, Kou ! Right, guys ? »

Yutaka and Akira noisily agreed, while Yuu's mind was thrown in a panicked spiral. What if Taka was right ? What if Kouyou liked the person that was going to come to his show ? And yet, he couldn't say anything against this. He was forced to accept the situation, and would have to wait thursday to witness this. Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3 Your comments always enlighten my day, so don't be shy !


	12. Battles you can't win...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bit late, I really wanted this update to be perfect ;)  
> It's an important chapter, for me and for the story, and I spent a lot of time on it. I'd be glad to know your reactions about it!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Oh, and the song Yuu's dancing on is "Can't stop loving you" by Toto. You can find it on the Spotify playlist of the fic i mentioned on first chapter!

11)

 

It was almost time to go.

 

Yuu still had the time though, so he decided to make himself a coffee and to relax a bit before heading to Kouyou's place. He poured his hot drink in the brand new mug Radio Jack's team had offered him earlier in the week (saying « Super Boss » in golden letters) and he smiled fondly at the memory.

 

All things considered, Akira's challenge had really been a hit. The audience of the week-end had significantly increased, and Yuu had been secretly delighted to see that most of the participants were young women. Not that he would have admitted it to anyone. The winner of the challenge was a pretty young thing named Sophia and she'd gushed over Kouyou for the whole time she was there, and Kouyou had been surprisingly at ease. They'd had a great show, Sophia interracting with the host very spontaneously, and Kouyou wasn't so mad at Akira anymore.

 

 

Mrs Takashima had arrived in town in the middle of the week, and Yuu had met her in the hallway of the radio. Even if he hadn't been aware that she was who she was, he still would have found out. Kouyou was the image of his mother. The gorgeous smile, the crinkling nose, the warm eyes, even their laugh were similar. They all had been at the nearest bar after work, to celebrate. Kouyou's mother already knew Akira, of course, as the two boys were friends since their childhood. She joked about it, calling Akira her second son, and hugging him warmly. She couldn't wait to see little Mako, since she'd only seen pictures of the baby. She already knew Takanori too, as Kouyou had brought his friend with him several times for holidays. She'd looked overjoyed to finally meet Yutaka and had made Takanori beam with pride when she'd declared that his boyfriend had the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen. Kouyou had even said to Yuu that his mother had developed a soft spot for their future deputy manager. All in all, the week had been really good, even if Kouyou wasn't texting him as much as when his mother wasn't visiting. Yuu missed a bit their time « together », each one of them on their own couch, sending silly messages and commenting on some unbearable tv shows. However, Kouyou never forgot to message him to wish him a good night, or to say good morning first thing when he woke up, and it always, always made Yuu's day.

 

 

Now, he was preparing to attend Kouyou's birthday, and after a last glance at his reflexion in the mirror of the hallway, he caught the two wrapped boxes that contained his friend's presents, and went, ignoring the fast beating of his heart and his happiness at the mere idea of spending a whole evening with (Kouyou) all his new friends.

 

 

 

 

The lights were dim in the club, and all of them had had maybe a bit too much too drink.

The evening had been quite perfect, and Kouyou was beaming. He'd been working on the morning, as usual, but then he'd been able to spend some time with his mother in the afternoon, shopping together, and she'd offered him the video game he'd been wanting for some months, and a snack at the better coffee shop of the area, just like when he was a little kid, treating him with creamy hot chocolate and sweet pastries. He'd relished in all the spoiling he got, and his mother had looked happier than ever.

 

Then they'd joined his friends at Yutaka's, his future new deputy manager had insisted on preparing diner for the occasion, his own special birthday gift, They'd all agree that Yutaka was probably the best cook in town, making him blush and scratch his neck in embarrasment, and making Takanori grinning proudly. The food was perfect, the mood was relaxed, and Kouyou didn't remember when was the last time he had felt so content and at peace, spending time with all his favorite persons in the world. He couldn't get enough of the beautiful smile gracing his mother's lips, and was happy to witness the loving looks the two young couples kept on sharing. And as it was his birthday, Haruko had made an exception and allowed her daughter to stay longer with them instead of putting her to sleep in her little travel crib, so he could indulge holding little Mako as long as he wanted.

 

 

Not to mention Yuu's presence. When he'd appeared at Yutaka's door, all dressed in black with his hair tied in a messy bun, Kouyou's heart had felt like a dying fish doing jumps in pityfull agony. He'd tried to act cool but the shy smile he'd received when Yuu had handed him a two black boxes with a ridiculously huge red ribbon didn't improve his heart's condition. He'd thanked him weakly and stuttering, and Yuu had chuckled sheepishly, telling him to not thank him before he'd opened the boxes. They could have stayed at the door forever, smiling awkwardly at each other, if Takanori hadn't arrived and nudged at Kouyou with a knowing smile, ushering Yuu in.

 

 

The diner had been noisy and full of laughs, Kouyou's mother telling proudly her son's misadventures as a young kid, making him embarrassed as his friends were giggling. Soon Kouyou found that he knew some funny things about young Akira that deserved to be shared too, and it was his friend's turn to undergo the general teasing, accepting it with a shake of his head and whole hearted chuckles.

 

Once they were done with the meal Yutaka cooked them, Kouyou handed a sleeping Mako to her mother, kissing her forehead, and joined Taka on the balcony to have a smoke.

They stayed silent for some minutes, before his friend turned to him with a fond smile on his face.

 

« You look happy. »

 

Kouyou nodded.

 

« I am. It's great to have you all here with me tonight. I mean, it's not that rare that we can spend time together, but tonight my mother's here too, and it's feels special. »

 

« And Yuu's here, too... »

 

Kouyou blushed a bit.

 

« Yeah, that, too. »

 

Takanori hesitated.

 

« I know maybe I shouldn't say this, since he said that he didn't want you two to be in a relationship and all, but I think... The way he looks at you... I can tell that this « being just friends » thing is as wrong for him that it is for you. »

 

Kouyou shook his head, deciding to not let the spark of hope, who'd never totally died, ignite his feelings and his want. He smiled weakly.

 

« I don't know, Taka, and I don't want to risk what we have now for something that could lead to the end of our friendship. I already lost him once, I honestly don't know how I could survive this one more time. I'm just... Letting things happen, but I won't initiate anything myself. I'm too scared... »

 

« Hey guys, dessert time ! » Yutaka's voice was calling from inside.

 

Takanori squeezed his friend's arm.

 

« You're right, Kouyou. Let things happen, I'm quite sure it will bring you both where you want to be ! »

 

 

They were barely back at the table when someone turned the lights off and Mrs Takashima entered the room with Kouyou's birthday cake, covered with burning candles. She was singing softly, and everyone around the table began to sing along with her. Kouyou smiled shyly, delighted but a bit flustered to be the center of everyone's attention, and he grinned back at Yuu who was winking at him.

 

He blowed the candles under the cheerings of his audience, and Haruko turned the lights on. His eyes widened when he came to realize what he was staring at.

 

« Your mother insisted to bake the cake herself this morning, Kou. She said you couldn't celebrate your birthday properly without your favourite cake, right ? »

 

« Ah... Thank you so much, mom. You're the best. » He caught her in his arms for a grateful hug, trying to hide his embarrasment.

 

He was avoiding to look in Yuu's direction, while his mother was cutting the dessert and asking him to serve his friends. He did it with shaky hands, and when he handled his plate to Yuu, their eyes met briefly, and their hands brushed against each other. Yuu had a faint blush on his cheeks, of course he'd recognized the special cake. And as they all took the first bites into their own piece of chocolate goodness, many appreciative moans and exclamations filled the room.

Yutaka poured them some really good red wine, and Yuu, who'd been silent and a bit flustered since the dessert has made his way on the dining table, got carried away by the mixed taste of wine and chocolate.

 

When he was at university, in foreign litterature class, he'd studied a french author -Proust- who'd written about a particuliar taste – a sponge finger cake called madeleine, dipped in herbal verbena tea- that he'd sampled as a kid, and that always triggered powerful memories of his childhood, with a heavy emotional content. The phenomenon being called in litterature « Proust's madeleine » since. What he was experiencing right now, at this moment, made him think about it suddenly.

 

« Kouyou's chocolate cake ».

 

That was his own madeleine, even if the memory wasn't that far away from today, even if it really _wasn't_ some childhood reminiscence. The flavors were bringing to his mind flashbacks of the night he'd shared with Kouyou, with very precise and vivid images -Kouyou's delirious gaze, his soft white skin, the stained sheets, their sticky bodies moving together, their erratic breath, the moans and gasps echoing in the hotel room, and all the love he could read in Kouyou's eyes- and it was almost painful, to relive all of this, now, amongst so many people, realizing now that he'd gave up on this, on him, on something so beautiful and strong.

 

Everybody was laughing at Takanori, who'd just declared that the dessert was almost, just almost as delicious as his boyfriend, but Yuu hadn't registered what was going on. He just left his gaze from his plate and stopped breathing, as his eyes met Kouyou 's, who was taking a sip from his glass. The young man seemed to be deep in his thoughts too, and they looked intensely at each other, brought back together to that night at the hotel. They were connected to that moment, they were reliving their night of passion, and they both knew what was on the other's mind. Yuu felt a sudden fire burn in his belly, and he could guess by Kouyou's stare that he was in the same state, hungry for physical contact, aroused by the images that had been conjured thanks to his birthday cake. Kouyou broke the eye contact, his cheeks burning red, knowing that he'd been caught red handed having naughty thoughts about his manager. Yuu tried to ignore the want that had taken residence in his body, no longer bothering to deny that yes, he had wanted Kouyou from the very beginning. That wasn't even worth it.

 

Luckily for them, their friends were too busy enjoying the dessert and chatting to realize that something was going on between the two of them.

 

« Oh, by the way, honey... » Kouyou's mother interrupted the joyful conversation. « Do you remember my childhood friend Kyoko ? She happens to have a boy your age, and he's actually here for two weeks, for his job. He's a lawyer, he's brilliant and handsome -he goes to the gym everyday and all- you should see him... Well, actually you will see him , as I kinda set-up a date for you two next week ! » She looked proud of herself and quite delighted at her own idea.

 

« Oh moooooom, seriously ? Here we go again ? I told you I wasn't interested by going to dates with people I didn't know. Stop wanting to- »

 

« Kouyou, I just want you to have someone nice to fill the void in your life. I don't want you to stay alone forever, you deserve a nice relationship too ! You'll thank me, you'll see... »

 

Kouyou just shook his head. He didn't want to argue with his mother now, he just wanted the evening to keep on being fun, so he just let her have the last word...

 

For now.

 

Besides, it was time to open his gifts, and he chose to open Taka and Yutaka's first. A DVD collection of « The Twilight Zone » original series, and Kouyou was delighted, he'd always wanted to buy it. Akira and Haruko had come with tickets for a summer music festival Kouyou said he would want to attend, and his enthusiasm when he opened the colored enveloppe and saw what was inside made all of his friends and mother chuckle. Kouyou was such a kid in his reactions, he was too cute. Haruko had also drawn a portrait of Kouyou holding Mako, and Kouyou looked like he was about to cry when he discovered it. It took him several minutes and a glass of wine to recover, and he opened Yuu's gifts last, whistling in admiration when he discovered a new pair of Chuck Taylor's Avengers' limited edition.

 

« Oh wow. They're splendid. Thank you so much, Yuu, you shouldn't have ! They're so beautiful I won't dare to wear them ! »

 

« Eh, you'll be forced soon, because your own shoes looks like they're going to fall apart on the next step you'll take ! »

 

« You're kidding, right ? They're good as new ! » Everybody laughed at Kouyou's outraged tone.

 

Then he opened the smallest of the two boxes, and it was filled with little leaf-shaped cakes.

 

« They're momiji manjus. My mother used to bake them for me, and it's the only thing I can bake without any receipe. » Yuu was blushing a bit.

 

« Thank you so much, Yuu. For the shoes. And for taking time to bake these for me. »

Kouyou seemd really touched by the attention, and Yuu didn't remember the last time he'd felt that satisfied with himself.

 

 

 

The ride from Yutaka's place to the club they had planned to attend had been pure torture. Akira and Haruko had taken Kouyou's mother to their own house, as she was going to spend the night there to look after Mako while the young couple would join their friends to have a night out. Yutaka had offered to drive the four of them there, and of course Taka was on the passenger's side next to his boyfriend. Yuu and Kouyou were on the back seat, trying their best to not touch each other since they hadn't still recovered from the moment when they'd silently shared their heated memories. They'd avoided to even look at each other, and being so close in such a little space made them feel dizzy. Kouyou was sure by now that if their skins were to touch, he would probably combust right there and then.

 

The club was one of their favourite place to have a drink and some fun. All around the round dance floor were alcoves in which you could enjoy having a drink without being deafened by the music, while those who wanted to dance could enjoy it too. The owner of the place was a guy who'd previously worked with Yutaka, so they always had one of the best alcoves when they dropped by, even if they hadn't booked one. Tonight was no exception, and the little group gathered around the table in the dimly lit alcove, where a bottle of champagne waited for them ; with a card saying « Happy Birthday, Kouyou! » They decided to serve it while waiting for Haruko and Akira.

 

Of course, Takanori was all over Yutaka, the little wine he'd had while diner being enough for him to feel over-affectionate toward his boyfriend, which he already was when sober on a daily basis anyway. Yutaka was giggling at his antics, and Kouyou was more than relieved to see Akira and his wife arriving, because he didn't know what was more embarrassing, trying to avoid Yuu's stare, or having to witness Taka's love display (sliding his hands under Yutaka's shirt while he was trying to serve champagne in their glasses, nuzzling his neck delightfully, nibbling the lobe of his ears, striking his tigh with the tips of his fingers)... All of this a reminder of all the things he'd like to share with Yuu if only they weren't on this « just friends » relationship. And honestly, it wasn't helping his mind to cool down much, because alcohol made it easy to forget that he shouldn't be envious of Taka's behaviour.

 

Luckily for him, Haruko took matters in her hands as soon as she reached their table. They sat amongst their friends and all cheered at Kouyou, wishing him again a happy birthday. The champagne was good, but a new fuel to Kouyou's fantaises when he tried a glance at Yuu, who was licking his oh-so-tempting lips after having taken a sip from his glass.

 

Haruko finished her champagne first, and got up, reaching Taka's hand and breaking the state of contemplation he was in, admiring his boyfriend's profile and comparing it to the most perfect thing on earth in his mind.

 

« Here we go, Taka-chan, it's been too long since you and I haven't set a dance floor on fire. Come on ! Yuu ? You're coming with us, right ? Let this poor old men enjoy the view while us, young and pretty people, are going to show these poor souls what it's like to have fun ! »

 

Yuu chuckled at her words, and declined the offer.

 

« Ah, uh, no, I used to love it when I was younger, but I haven't danced in ages, so I will stay here with the old men ! »

 

« Your loss, you don't know what you're missing ! »

 

Haruko kissed her husband lovingly and joined the dance floor, dragging Taka who didn't seemed ready to leave his boyfriend's lips, beginning to dance on their way to the dancing area.

 

Akira sighed, a lovestruck smile on his face.

 

« I'm happy that Taka likes to dance as much as Haruko does. It avoids me to have to make myself ridiculous on the dance floor. And my wife isn't alone and being harassed by all sorts of stupid jerks hitting on her. »

 

Kouyou snorted.

 

« Yeah, sure, but we still have to keep an eye on them though, since the last time a guy tried to flirt with Haruko and insisted when she rejected him, Takanori almost knocked the guy out ! »

 

They all bursted into laughing. Yuu almost spat his drink.

 

« Oh my god, really ? »

 

« Oh yeah, really ! Our Taka is very protective towards his friends and family. We were lucky this day that the guy was too drunk to even think about going to the police, I think Taka could have had serious issues if he did ! »

 

They were interrupted by the two dancers who had just turned around and came back to their table.

 

«Noone stops loving to dance, Yuu-san. If you loved it, you will still enjoy it. Come on, don't be shy, pleaaaaase!»

 

Both Taka and Haruko grabbed his hands, and he found himself in the dance floor in the blink of an eye, amongst sweating and bouncing bodies. He panicked a bit at first, it was so long since he hadn't have fun dancing, but then he remembered the reasons he was here in the first place.

Trying to build a new life, to make new friends, to enjoy being free... And he decided he could do this, hell, he was going to have fun too, and he began to move, close to Takanori and Haruko. There were no reasons why he should deny himself this. _Just have fun, Yuu. It's been so long._

 

 

 

Akira, Yutaka and Kouyou were looking at them while drinking more champagne. They were all pleasantly buzzed now, and each one of them relished in the sight. The three dancers were all grins and looked drunk on music, dancing on seventies-eighties tunes (the theme of the evening, if Kouyou remembered well). Careless, young, happy. Beautiful.

 

Akira felt so good tonight, it's been a long time since they could spend a night by themselves because of Mako's birth. Of course, they'd still managed to have diner outside, just Haruko and him, as Kouyou was always available to take care of the baby when they needed it. But tonight was different, they were all here, just like good old time, and that made him happy. And seeing Haruko dance, well, it never stopped to amaze him. How his always sweet and discreet wife could turn into a fierce partyer once the lights were off and the music loud, it was a bit of a turn on. And it always seemed that the energy she spent on the dance floor was feeding another kind of energy inside her, and he reminded himself to not drink too much tonight, because if he could judge by the looks she was throwing him from afar, and from the sparks in her eyes, their night wouldn't be over when they'd reach their appartment later. He could feel his body reacting to the thought, and to the way his wife was moving her body to the beat. He stared at her, admiring the graceful view, and when their eyes met, he smiled at her knowingly, and she did the same, before winking mischievously. She began to move more sensually from then on, aware that each of her movements were awaking her husband's desire. And Akira then thought that he'd been really smart when he'd chosen to build sound-proof walls for their bedroom when he renovated the house.

 

 

Yutaka thoughts weren't more prude. In his opinion, Takanori was the hottest sight in the whole club (City ? Country ? Hell, World, maybe ?), and he was marveling at how his boyfriend's body could be so perfectly in rythm with the upbeat song.Takanori seemed to have the time of his life, bobbing his head from side to side sexily, an ecstatic smile on his face, mirroring his steps with Haruko's, the two of them obviously used to dance with each other.

 

 

Takanori looked in their direction, and when he saw all eyes were on the three of them, he arched an eyebrow at them questioningly, smiling. Then his smile turned smug, blowing a kiss to Yutaka and waving at them. He leaned in to speak in Haruko's ear, still grinning, and she grinned too, as the song changed, and Takanori slid himself behind her. They both threw an impish look et the table were their lovers and friend were, and began to dance again, Haruko now catching Taka's hands to put them on her hips, rocking them sensuously, while she threw back her left arm around his neck. Takanori was now grinding against Akira's wife's back, their bodies following the beat, offering to their stunned assistance a decadent show, and never breaking the eye contact with Akira and Yutaka.

 

« Little bastard » Akira huffed in a chuckle, shaking his head disbelievingly. « He's lucky I don't have any doubt about my wife's loyalty, or I'd gladly beat the shit out of him for this. »

 

« Oh don't worry, I'll make him pay. » Yutaka said in a light tone, his eyes still focused on the couple on the dance floor. He shouldn't be so aroused by the view of his boyfriend dancing with a woman, and yet...

 

«You have to admit, they'd make a hot couple » Akira giggled, not surprised by the behaviour of the dancers. Haruko and Taka were very good friends, and they shared the same playful nature. « Right, Kouyou ? »

 

 

Kouyou hadn't taken his eyes off of Yuu since he left the table.

 

He seemed to enjoy the music fully, his eyes half-closed and moving in sync with the music, swaying his hips, arms up, as the disco ball above them threw little sparkling lights on their faces. And despite the dark, Kouyou could see his high cheekbones, his plush lips and his shining eyes. He looked like he'd surrendered himself to the vibes, feeling the rythm, his body free, light headed, alive. He reminded Kouyou of the Aoi of this second night at the hotel, when he'd let down his guard and finally let himself be carried away by whatever passion he could have felt at the moment. Oh, how he wished he could make him succomb to the same feelings now ! How he wished he could put his hands on these gorgeous hips, glue his body against Yuu's, and follow the rythm blindly, letting Yuu taking the lead and just enjoy the warmth of his sensual partner.

 

At this moment, lost in his tortured thoughts, his mind in a dazed memory of the sensation of Yuu's skin against his, Yuu's eyes snapped open and their gazes locked, and Kouyou would be damned if he didn't see want in these dark orbs, the same want that was eating his insides alive, and as they kept on staring, Yuu kept on moving, now aware that Kouyou had only eyes for him. And with the intensity of the stare, Kouyou couldn't hide anymore, it was written all over his face, betrayed by the burning emotions of his amber eyes, how much he wanted him.

 

 

 _(...Funny how a look can share a thousand meanings_  
Well-intended lies, contemplating alibies  
Is it really you, or is it me I'm blaming  
A distant memory flashes over me  
Even though you're gone, I feel you deep inside..

 

_...Dance beneath the light with that look in your eyes...)_

 

 

Yuu's boundaries seemed to crumble then, smashed by the adrenaline that was hitting him so strongly for the first time in so long, and Yuu was feeling so good, he didn 't want it to stop, he didn't want Kouyou to stop looking at him with those eyes. He didn't want to lose the inexpected boost of self confidence that look was giving him, like an intoxicant blast, pushing him ahead. He felt powerful and sexy, and as the song went by, beats echoing with his heart's, - _Just have fun, Yuu. It's been so long-_

 

 

_(...Tried to catch a shooting star, what seems so close can't be that far  
I'm living in a dream that's never ending..._

_...Dance beneath the light with that look in your eyes...)_

 

Yuu, still dancing, untied his hair, shook his head and combed his fingers through it, never breaking the eye-contact with Kouyou, and then let his hand run along the sides of his body, slowly, swaying his hips again. Kouyou's eyes widened slightly, not able to hide the way his breathing had stopped abruptly, and Yuu couldn't stop the teasing smile that spread on his lips, seeing how much his little show had affected Kouyou.

 

_(...I can't stop loving you, time passes quickly and chances are few  
I won't stop till I'm through loving you...)_

 

He was having fun, indeed, but he knew the little game he was playing with Kouyou was dangerous, as it had rekindled that thing in the pit of his belly, that thing that had been awaken by Kouyou's birthday cake earlier, and now it was threatening to eat him alive, and the alarms were back at full volume. He needed to slow down a bit, and oh thank god it was the end of the song. He sent a last glance to Kouyou, who was still staring at him in a trance, while the next song -oh damn a slow song, what was he going to do ? It was a thing to tease from afar, but going back to their table again and be so close to Kouyou just now... And alone... Since Akira and Yutaka had just arrived amongst them to slow dance with their partners. His slightly panicked mind was trying to find a way to escape when a tall dark-haired guy seemed to appear from nowhere in his personnal space, a cheaky grin on his lips.

 

« Hey, gorgeous ! Looking for someone to dance with ? »

 

« I...Hu...No, thanks ! I... » He barely had the time to reply when an arm slipped around his waist and a large hand gripped his hip.

 

« Sorry, dude, but he already promised me this one. »

 

The stranger shrugged, and with a disappointed smile left without a word, while Yuu turned to look at Kouyou disbelievingly.

 

« I what now? »

 

Kouyou didn't answer. He just kept looking at him, deep in the eyes, with that intense look of him, his arm still around Yuu's body, now tightening his grip on him as he brought Yuu close so gently.

 

Yuu couldn't bring himself to not look back or to resist.

 

When he found himself in Kouyou's embrace, and felt Kouyou's breath on his ear, whispering softly, pleadingly « Dance with me ? Please ? », he did exactly what his mind was screaming at him _to not do_. He threw his arms around Kouyou's neck and buried his nose in his shoulderblade, deeply inhaling the scent of Kouyou's cologne and letting the hold around him tighten.

He'd played with his own feelings, and with Kouyou's, denying them both, pretending he could ignore them and get away with teasing. He'd played, and lost. And it was weird, really. Because he should feel bad, being the loser. But defeat had never felt so sweet.

 

 

 

Kouyou's trance hadn't been broken by Akira's question.

 

After Kouyou hadn't answered, both Aki and Yutaka had turned to look at him, and witnessed the staring contest between him and Yuu silently. They had looked at each other with wide eyes, not really surprised because they already knew Kouyou was totally lovestruck when it came to Yuu, even if he did his best, if not to get over his feelings, at least to try to not display them patently. And as they weren't blind, they also knew that despite his will to be just friends with Kouyou, Yuu had a way to look at Kouyou that wasn't always just friendly.

 

But the usually demure stolen glances they threw at each other had turned into something more obvious and raw tonight, and they didn't know how to feel about this.

 

Akira mumbled something akin to « Guess who's acting like « just friends » tonight, hu ? » with a half grin, and Yutaka snorted and shook his head with a smile, as the previous song had fade away and was replaced by a ballad.

 

« Nobody I know, for sure ! And certainly not me... Come on, Aki, it's our chance to get our devilish better-halves back. »

 

Akira hurriedly gulped the last remains of his champagne, and followed Yutaka on his way to the dance floor. Passing behind Kouyou, he gave him a manly pat on the back, then broking his friend's trance. He winked at him.

 

« Go get him. If you don't move now, you'll probably regret it for the rest of your life. Go ! »

 

And Kouyou was about to protest- What if Yuu was just playing ? What if Yuu went mad ? What if he misread Yuu's intentions ?- he throw a look at him, still on the dance floor, and saw a tall guy approaching an oblivious and seemingly lost Yuu, with a predatory look that made Kouyou's blood boil.

 

What the hell was this asshole thinking about ? Without any further hesitation, Kouyou bolted from his sit and found himself reaching Yuu as the man was asking him for a dance.

 

He didn't take any time to think about his possessive and intrusive behaviour as he dismissed the guy, grabbing Yuu's body as if he owned it with an unwavering glare that spoke volumes of what he thought about the intruder. He only realized what he'd done when Yuu turned to him with an astounded look of his own.

 

« I what now ? »

 

And he realized, now, that his attitude hadn't been apropriate, because he didn't have the right to act as if Yuu was his, because maybe Yuu indeed wanted to dance with this guy, because Yuu had the right to do so if he wanted to, because they were _just friends_. And he knew he had to apologize, but couldn't find in him to do so, and instead he looked into those dark eyes, trying to convey everything he was feeling right now.

 

And at this moment, it just felt right, to hold Yuu like this, on this dance floor, to want to keep him in his arms like he belonged there, and to let their bodies be carried away by the music. So that's just what he did, bringing Yuu's body close to his delicately, and whispering a plea in his ear.

 

Yuu's tensed back relaxed suddenly, before Kouyou could feel his neck being trapped into Yuu's arms, and Yuu's head nestling against him. He hadn't been aware of the frantic beatings of his hearts until now, and could finally feel Yuu's too.

 

They began to just move slowly, following the music, their bodies remembering how to mold against each other, Kouyou arms embracing Yuu closer, as if afraid to let him go. And as if he could feel Yuu was still uncertain about his choice of being here, _with him_ , he began to rub his back soothingly, with the tips of his fingers, _it's ok, Yuu, relax, I won't do anything you don't want me to._ They were dancing, submerging themselves in the music, shutting themselves off the rest of the world, building a protective bubble around them, when Kouyou felt fingers brushing his nape, making goosebumps run all over his skin, answering his comforting touch.

 

 _I give up_ , it said, _I'm scared, but I want this too._

 

If Kouyou's heartbeats were wild before, now they were probably going to trigger an earthquake of some sorts. With a shaking hand he caught Yuu's chin gently, since he still had his head buried in the crook of his neck, and he dived in the darkness of Yuu's watery eyes again, where he could see so many emotions. He looked at him for a mere seconds, waiting for Yuu to stop him as he was leaning slowly, and finally caught his lips softly as Yuu hadn't make any move to protest.

 

The kiss sent them in a sweet blissful daze first, but alcohol and the previous events – their shared reminiscence of the taste of their skin mixing with the chocolate cake, their little staring game all along the evening- had fired something in them that couldn't be tamed that easily. And that something was threatening to consume them both, their kiss quickly losing all sweetness and softness, to turn into a needy and fiery one, one that spoke about craving, about sleepless lonely nights, about hopeless feelings and desperate longing. One that spoke about passion and want, with Kouyou's hands cupping Yuu's jaw, keeping it captive, as if afraid that Yuu might fly away, and Yuu's fingers gripping Kouyou's hair with strenght, failing to keep the control.

 

They were in their own galaxy, unaware of the people around them, of Akira and Haruko softly making out not so far, entangled in each other and lost in the music, of Yutaka, who'd lost any self control and was actually whispering heated words in Takanori's shivering neck, and of all the other dancers around.

 

There wasn't any space between them anymore, Kouyou holding Yuu so close, and Yuu pressing himself with abandon against Kouyou's body. They were almost suffocating, between the heat, their glued bodies, the breathtaking kiss, and their brains that weren't functionning enough anymore to warn them that it was time to _breathe._ So they just kept on kissing like starving men, their lips and tongues confessing all they'd endured trying to stay apart from each other, when the bouncing of people all around them broke their daze a bit and they realized the slow song they'd been dancing on had ended quite long ago and that they were indeed entwined and making out, keeping still amongst a jumping and unbridled crowd. They came back to reality gazing in each other's eyes.

 

« Yuu... »

 

Kouyou's hesitant whisper made Yuu shake his head no, slowly, his fingers coming to pause on the young man pouty lips.

 

« Shhh... Take me home ? »

 

An expecting shy smile and a crimson blush adorning his beautiful features.

 

Kouyou took some time to answer, watching Yuu with rapt attention, fingers brushing a strand of onyx hair.

 

« Yeah. Gladly. »

 

They stepped out of the dance floor in a hurry, fingers intertwined and they ran to their table where their friends were waiting for them. They purposefully avoided any eye contact with anyone. If anything, Akira and Haruko's fond smiles, Taka's smirk and Yutaka's wink a blatant evidence that they'd indeed witnessed their embrace from afar. They didn't sit, and Kouyou caught their jackets quickly, gulping down the champagne that was still in his glass.

 

« Thank you so much for the great evening, guys ! You're the best ! Let's call tomorrow, right ? »

 

« Oh, you're already leaving ? But the party's not over yet ! »

 

Taka was curled in his boyfriend's lap, his arms around Yutaka's neck and a mischievous grin on his face. Yutaka shushed him with a smile.

 

« Shhh Taka ! »

 

« Yeah, err, the day had been long, and we're... tired... We need... Some rest ? »

 

Kouyou's stuttering and both his face and Yuu's were so red, everyone around the table bursted into giggles.

 

« Oh, right, rest ! Good night, then, birthday boy ! D'night to you too, Yuu-kun. _Rest_ well... »

 

Taka's words were accompanied by a wriggle of his eyebrows, and Yuu caught Kouyou's arm before he could embarrass them further.

 

« Good night to you all » He sighed with a chuckle. « Come on, Kouyou, and we'll have to work on your way to excuse yourself. I can't deny it has a really naive quality that's endearing, but it's awkward as hell too... »

 

They left the alcove under a burst of laughter, waving at their friends without even looking at them.

 

 

 

They took a taxi to Yuu's place. Kouyou 's heart was pounding hard in his ribcage. He'd never been at Yuu's, never dared to hope he'd be invited there to be honest. And yet, here he was, holding Yuu's hand, waiting for the taxi they were in to take them there. Yuu's head had settled on his shoulder as soon as they'd entered the car. What was going to happen now ? He didn't want to set his hopes too high, and he didn't want them to rush into something they weren't ready for. Into something _Yuu_ wasn't ready for, because Kouyou was more than ready for anything that would lead to a relationship with Yuu. He'd fantasized about it for hours, wondering how it would feel, to have the other man in his arms again, but for real, not for some dreamlike nightstand.

 

Yuu left his gaze to meet Kouyou 's, and he shyly smiled.

 

«I... Errr … I was wondering... Do you plan to go to that date your mother set up for you ? »

 

Kouyou was confused for a mere seconds, before he caught on what Yuu was talking about.

 

« What are you … ? Oh, the date ! No, no, there's no way I- But wait a minute, why are you asking me this ? » Kouyou's smile turned mischievous. « Is there any chance that you're jealous ? »

 

Yuu huffed, amused by Kouyou's smug attitude all of a sudden.

 

« Why ? Jealous ? Me ? No, no, I don't see why I should be jealous of this guy, smart, handsome, lawyer, goes to the gym everyday, and who could fill the emptyness of your love life, like your mother said... What is there to be jealous ? » He laughed a bit bitterly. « I mean, I'd understand if you wanted to go, though... »

 

« I'd love to go to such a date... » Kouyou began, a dreamy note in his voice, and Yuu felt something squeeze his heart. « But I'd like to go with you, instead. Would you go out with me, Yuu ? I would take you to the place of your choice, and then maybe somewhere to watch a movie ? Or wherever you want. I don't care, to be honest. I just want to be with you. »

 

Yuu beamed at his words, and Kouyou's serious gaze softened as he smiled back. The car stopped, and they stepped out of it after Kouyou paid the driver.

 

They stood there, in front of Yuu's building, face to face, grinning softly at each other.

 

« Just tell me when and I'll go on that date with you, Kouyou. »

 

Kouyou was a hundred per cent sure he was dreaming. Everything was surreal, and it was amazing, to have Yuu finally willing to give him the chance he asked for, to let him show how they were made for each other and-

 

« Yuu !!! Oh my god !!! Yuu ! I finally find you ! »

 

A guy had appeared from nowhere, and was landing himself in Yuu's arms. Yuu caught him with a confused look, taking a bit of time to proceed what was going on, looking baffled when realization downed on him.

 

« Kazuki ??? » Yuu frowned and looked around, a bit panicked. « Kazuki, what the hell are you doing here ? »

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe... So, what do you think?  
> Thanks for reading.


	13. Crashing down...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter finally! I was happy to know that some of you were waiting for the update, I mean I let our boys in the middle of something, right? ^^ So here we go...

_Kouyou was a hundred per cent sure he was dreaming. Everything was surreal, and it was amazing, to have Yuu finally willing to give him the chance he asked for, to let him show how they were made for each other and-_

 

_« Yuu !!! Oh my god !!! Yuu ! I finally find you ! »_

 

_A guy had appeared from nowhere, and was landing himself in Yuu's arms. Yuu caught him with a confused look, taking a bit of time to proceed what was going on, looking baffled when realization downed on him._

 

_« Kazuki ??? » Yuu frowned and looked around, a bit panicked. « Kazuki, what the hell are you doing here ? »_

 

 

 

« Don't worry, Yuu, I didn't tell uncle Sakai I was coming to find you. This bastard thinks I'm visiting my parents. Oh my god, Yuu, I missed you so much. I'm sorry, I just can't let you go. I love you, Yuu. You know what ? I just took all the money I saved, and that's not a lot but it can take us where we want. We're going to leave the country, and find somewhere we can live happily. I want to marry you. And I'll find a job and will take care of you. I promise. I- »

 

« Kazuki. Stop. » Yuu cut out the rambling of the man- the _kid_ , Kouyou corrected as he was staring at him in shock with wide eyes.

 

Yuu sighed heavily, still embraced by the young man who was clutching at him as if he was some kind of life buoy. He took the hands of the kid -Kazuki, right ?- off of his waist, and shook his head.

 

« You shouldn't have come. We already talked about this, Kazuki. I'm not leaving with you, and we're not going to get married. Do you understand ? »

 

« But... But I love you... And we've been happy, together, right ? You said I was making you happier... »

 

Kazuki's bottom lip was beginning to tremble, and the desperation in his voice made Aoi wince. He'd been a fool, to believe that he could escape his former life and let everything behind him. Especially this.

 

He softened at the sight of Kazuki's teary eyes. The young man looked exhausted, lost, and it made him look even younger than he already was. Fuck. He felt suddenly so guilty.

 

« You did, Kazuki. You helped me to get through a lot, and I'm thankful for that. But it was wrong. You and me. You know it, right ? »

 

Kazuki bit his lip and lowered his gaze. He nodded weakly. Aoi sighed again.

 

 

« Listen, I don't know how you found me, and I'm not going to let you out, because it's late, so here... » Yuu fumbled in his jean's pocket, and found his keys. « Go inside this building, and find the number 106. You can come in and make yourself at ease. I will come in in a few minutes, okay ? »

 

Only then Kazuki seemed to aknowledge Kouyou's presence. He sniffed and looked at him with a frown, and Kouyou could get a better view of the guy's face. He was young -that was an understatement- with beautiful features, a piercing on each side of his bottom lip, and messy blonde hair.

 

« Who's this ? » The boy was looking at him with waryness.

 

Kouyou had been reduced to a gaping idiot when Kazuki had made his appearance. It was late, he'd had his fair share of booze, he was still under the spell of what had happened with Yuu, hell, he had all the reasons in the world to not be prepared to this. But now that what was happening was dawning on him, he was beginning to feel things again. Confusion. Disbelief. Jealousy. Anger. Betrayal. This was becomming a toxic and dangerous cocktail and Kouyou couldn't stay silent. He snorted and snapped.

 

« That's a good question, indeed. Yes, Yuu, who am I ? And while you 're at explaining, could you maybe explain who's this _KID_ is too ? Because I'm afraid I didn't quite get it ? »

 

It was Yuu's turn to lower his gaze and he sighed deeply, before he spoke to Kazuki again.

 

« Would you please listen to me and do what I asked you to ? Wait for me, I won't be long . Go, now. »

 

Kazuki nodded slowly, and threw a threatening glare to Kouyou, who just glared back with a frown of his own. He crossed his arms on his torso and turned to Yuu, a look of deep confusion and hurt on his face.

 

« What the fuck is this all about ? »

 

«Listen, Kouyou, now is maybe not the good time to talk about this. Maybe you should go home and I will call you tomorrow, we could have a coffee somewhere and- »

 

« HELL NO ! »

 

Yuu stopped and steeped back, surprised by Kouyou's violent interruption.

 

« You're not going to get rid of me that easily. I've been waiting for you for so long, hoping you'll give me a chance, hoping you would maybe see me as someone you could actually like. And today... Today was like a dream, I could feel like our connection was getting stronger, that... You and I... Were about to... I don't know... I thought that maybe we were at the beginning of something, finally... Ahhhhh, to hell with that ! Why are things always so complicated ? Why did this guy have to show up just now ? And why didn't you tell me about this _kid_  ?!»

 

Yuu sighed again, his lips a thin line.

 

« Actually, I hadn't plan to tell you anything at all about Kazuki, Kouyou. That's not something I'm especially proud of, and I thought that that concerned only the two of us, mind you. Kazuki's my ex's nephew. He's a maths student who came to live with us as he didn't find any place nearby, and as we had a room we didn't use. Kazuki said he fell in love with me at first sight. I didn't know, I had no idea. He came to our house at the same moment I realized my relationship with Sakai was rotten, and I felt so bad. I didn't know what to do, I was lost, and depressed, and Kazuki was here, and somehow, just watching us on a daily basis, he understood. At this time, Sakai was working on a big project, and he stayed to work late often. Kazuki insisted to take me out, tried to drag me out of my misery. We went to movies, to restaurants, to concerts. He was always so kind, so funny, and for the first time in so long it looked like someone cared for me. And before I knew what I was doing, he confessed and we ended up in bed. It happened twice. I don't need you to remind me that it was the worse decision I could have taken. And I have no excuses. But sometimes, things happen and no matter how much you regret them after, you still have to face the consequences of your acts . Just like now. »

 

« So, you weren't going to talk about it at all ? I mean, if this boy hadn't show up, you would have lied to me forever ? »

 

Kouyou's exasperated question made Yuu snort.

 

« And can you tell me when I should have tell you about this ? What would have been the best moment, Kouyou, to say ''Oh, and by the way, I also slept with my ex's barely legal nephew before I left my previous life. Creepy, right ?'' » Yuu was beginning to shout, too, and he exhaled slowly to be able to come back to a more neutral tone. « Beside, I didn't lie to you, Kouyou. I just didn't tell you. And as far as I know, I don't have any idea about your sentimental background. At all. And I don't care. That's none of my business, just like Kazuki isn't yours. I've had a life before, and I made mistakes. But they're mine and mine only to decide if I want to share them or not. »

 

«It's my business because I care about you, in case you hadn't noticed ! » Kouyou's frustration was reaching levels that were making him lose his mind. « You were in my arms a few minutes ago, for god's sake ! You're here right before me, and I don't know if I can believe anything you already told me now ! I thought we could trust each other, I thought you were the man of my dreams, I thought you had nothing to hide from me- »

 

«You were so busy thinking about all of this that you forgot something, Kouyou. » Yuu snapped. « I am human, and I have flaws. A lot of them, actually. From the moment you saw me, you thought I was some kind of ideal man who'd been sent from heaven, you only wanted to see me as perfect as you imagined me to be. And I warned you, right from the beginning, remember ? I told you I wasn't that special someone you were looking for, I told you I didn't deserved your attention. But you're so stubborn, Kouyou. And so you kept on believing it, and you're so kind, so gentle, so sweet, and you were so adamant about me being your special person, you made me believe it, too. Made me think that maybe you were right, we had something special between us, and maybe I was someone you could like. But... It's not me you're infatuated with, Kouyou. It's _Aoi_. The man you fell in love with is just a fake. I'm not him, I will never be. You're disappointed by what you're discovering right now about me, and it's more than likely that you will be disappointed by me on a daily basis of a relationship. I'm sorry, Kouyou, really sorry, you have no idea... But this isn't going to work. I wanted to believe it, but I see now that I shouldn't have. Maybe we will talk about this later, when you'll be less angry... » Yuu looked defeated and so, so sad, but Kouyou wasn't seeing it.

 

« So that's how it's going to be ? You're sending me home while _he_ can stay at your place and spend the night there ? »

 

«We're in the middle of the night, Kouyou, for god's sake ! I can't let him alone in the streets ! He's just a kid ! »

 

« Well, maybe you should have thought about this before you fucked him ! »

 

Yuu went expressionless at Kouyou's angry words. With clenched fists and gritted teeth, and a plumetting heart, he avoided Kouyou's eyes.

 

« Go home, Kouyou. »

 

He turned his heels and was beginning to walk towards his building, his shoulder slumped,  when Kouyou threw his last poisoned words to him.

 

« Fine ! I'm the one you always find an excuse to run away from, anyway ! Remember what you told me at the hotel, about finding someone to warm my sheets ? Guess what, I hope Kazuki will do it properly! ».

 

 

 

 

Kouyou's head was threatening to explode.

 

He'd been so angry when he'd reached his appartment last night, he hadn't find anything better to calm his nerves than emptying an almost full bottle of tequilla. He'd been knocked out for barely three hours, and then he'd hurried to the bathroom to have a nice one-sided conversation with the toilet bowl, before passing out again on his bathroom's floor. When he'd finally woken up, he was half naked, freezing on the cold tiles, the room was reeking of alcohol and sweat, his throat was hurting, he felt like a drowned rat and looked just as miserable. He'd dragged his body in the shower cubicle and took a whole hour under the hot water, hoping that it would help him to feel a bit better. Then he'd swallowed some painkillers laboriously, his stomach refusing to let anything inside after the abuse he'd been submitted to at the end of the night.

 

Kouyou briefly contemplated the attractive idea of going back to bed and falling into oblivion, but he remembered he had to go to pick up his mother at Akira's, so he got prepared in slow motion, careful to not bend over too much when he put on his shoes -nausea was still lurking around, ready to attack him if he did the wrong move.

 

Despite the sun he could see shining outside, he put on his leather jacket, he was still feeling cold from the night he'd spent, and put some shades on his hagard face. Throwing a glance at the mirror, he shook his head. Guess it would have to do, right ? He would just stay in the car and text his mother to come, so that and wouldn't have to greet Akira or Haruko.

 

When he parked the car in front of his friend's fence, he realized how stupid his idea was. Gathered around the garden table, Akira, Haruko, his mother, but also Taka and Yutaka were having a late saturday brunch. Through his lowered window, he heard them all clap and whistle when they saw his vehicule appear.

 

They were obviously eager to know what had happen between him and Yuu last night.

 

He was obviously not eager to share.

 

Anyway, what was there to share ? The night had begun like a dream, and he still remembered with really precise details everything, he could still feel Yuu's slender waist between his hands, smell Yuu's cologne, feel the tickling of one of Yuu's strand of hair against his neck... Until their arrival at Yuu's place. Then, a blur of flashes, the kid coming from nowhere wanting to _marry_ Yuu, his anger and jealousy, the things they said, the way Yuu had been looking at him when they'd fought. And the hole it had left in his heart when Yuu had walked away from him, not bothering to look at him. Kouyou groaned and let his painful head rest on his steering wheel.

 

 

In the garden, the enthusiasm had died as soon as they'd understood that Kouyou wasn't planning to get out of the car. They'd all frowned, because the little they could see about Kouyou spoke volumes about his mood. He was wrapped in his leather jacket, and the shades he had on did nothing to hide his tiredness nor the grayish shade of his skin. Nobody knew how to react. They'd all expected to see Kouyou arriving with an ecstatic smile, maybe with Yuu tagging along, both of them lovestruck and maybe a bit flustered. But they were not prepared to this.

 

Kouyou heard more than he saw the door opening and someone sitting by his side. He still had his head resting on the wheel, and the position wasn't that bad. He was expecting his mother's voice, but Takanori's asked softly.

 

« Hey. »

 

He sighed. Of course, trust Takanori to always be there for him, even when he didn't wanted him to.

 

« I don't even want to talk about it. Don't ask. »

 

Takanori snorted.

 

« Okay ? But don't you think you're a bit overreacting ? It can't be that bad, Kou-»

 

« It's worse. A total disaster. » He interrupted him weakly.

 

Takanori was shocked. What had happened between the moment Yuu and Kouyou had escape last night and now ? They looked so happy when they left... And it wasn't like Kouyou to admit defeat so easily. Kouyou was known to be stubborn, and to always try to get what he wanted.

 

« I'm sure it's not something that can't be solved, Kouyou. Do you want to maybe come with us and have a coffee ? You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but it would do you good to breathe a bit, maybe ? »

 

« Thanks, Taka, but no. The only thing I want to do right now is sleep, and get over all of this. I can't keep on loving someone who will never return my feelings or take me seriously. I have to get my shit together now, before it's too late. I'm losing my mind.» His voice broke.

 

Takanori's eyes widened. Wow. Where was Kouyou and who was this bitter stranger ?

 

« Okay. I'm gonna go and tell your mother you're waiting for her here. I'll tell the others too. »

 

He paused. « Kou... You know you can talk to me, right ? Anytime you feel like it, even in the middle of the night. » As Kouyou nodded briefly, hidding his face from him, Taka saw a lone tear falling from his friend's eyes. « Don't get yourself sick, ok ? I'm sure you'll be ok. Everything is gonna be fine, you know ? »

 

« I need to sleep, Taka. Thank you. If I need you I know you'll be there. Can you go find my mother, please ? » Takanori sighed again, but before he opened the door, he turned and briefly caught Kouyou in his arms. « Take care, ok ? » Kouyou returned the hug.

 

 

The drive back to his place was silent, his mother understanding that he didn't want to talk. She just hugged him when they finally entered his appartment, and sent him to bed, saying that she would prepare him some soup for when he would feel like eating something.

 

He closed his bedroom door, didn't even take his shirt or jeans off, and slid under the duvet, burrying himself into the soft and warm comfort of his bed. Unluckily for him, his anger, and the revival of the words he had with Yuu last night kept him from falling into oblivion, and he just cursed through his clenched teeth. His mind obviously didn't want to leave him in peace, and the questions that were turning in his head were about to just drive him crazy.

 

What was Yuu doing ? Was he mad at Kouyou for what he told him ? Was he feeling sorry for this ? Did he understood how Kouyou felt hurt ? And most important... Was Kazuki still at Yuu's ? … Maybe he was... Maybe they'd fallen asleep side by side after talking things over last night ? But also... Maybe Kazuki had tried to kiss Yuu ? And maybe Yuu had let him ? And what if Yuu finally realized that Kazuki was the one for him ? What if Kazuki made more than just warm Yuu's sheets ?

 

These thoughts, and all the images it conjured in Kouyou's tourmented mind, made him clench his fists and he could feel his nails begin to cut in the sweet flesh of his hands' palms. Kazuki kissing Yuu desperatly, Kazuki caressing Yuu's naked torso, tasting Yuu's sweetness, breathing Yuu's scent, feeling Yuu's skin against his body... All the things Kouyou would do if only Yuu was his.

 

Tears of frustration were pooling in his wide opened-eyes, sleep nowhere to be found, and his heart was just breaking bit by bit, remembering what Yuu said last night, about him falling in love with a mirage, not with Yuu himself. Had he been wrong right from the start ? Had he really thought Aoi was the real Yuu, and had he rejected Yuu's true self to make him fit with Aoi's fake one ? He was so stupid he couldn't even say if it was true. His feelings were true nonetheless, and he was still hurting like crazy because of them.

 

Because of losing Yuu. One more time. One last time.

 

He finally fell asleep, tears drenching his pillow, thinking about Yuu.

 

 

 

 

While Yuu was staring at his phone screen, erasing for the humptiest time a message he'd written for Kouyou. His teary eyes and the state of exhaustion he was in made the letters on his device blurry, just like his thoughts. Was there something more to say than what they already did last night ?

 

 

 

At the end of his morning show on monday morning, Kouyou had plenty of ideas for upcoming recorded stuff, so he began to write them all and work on these on his computer. Sleepless nights were at least good for his productivity . He had taken his mother back to the train station the day before, as she was done with all the administrative stuff for her come-back to university. She still had to find a place to live, the only appartments she visited were either too expensive or too rotten to live in. She'd been concerned when she left, and made Kouyou promise that he was going to take care of him. He'd tried to give her assurance that he would be ok, and she'd left him with tears in her worried eyes, obviously able to tell when her son was lying.

 

Soon after she left, Kouyou's mind had begun to whirl... And to make him doubt.

 

About what he thought was true. He knew his feeling were. Because it wouldn't hurt him so much if they weren't.

 

About himself, as a human being. Was he that shitty person who tried to shape someone as he wished they were ? Just like Yuu said ? Was he so selfish that he would forget to consider how someone was really like, to just satisfy his own fantasies ?

 

That was when he began to compare himself with Kazuki.

 

First, he only knew about Yuu's two most important relationships (if he hadn't lied, that is, and it still made Kouyou mad when he thought about it). And these were bad ones. Kouyou felt good because Yuu would obviously find him better than his two former lovers, who were inconsiderate and stupid, and who'd harmed him so much. Of course Kouyou would be better than them, Kouyou would treat Yuu like he deserved and would make everything in his power to make Yuu happy. But now, he couldn't help but make Kazuki enter the picture. And Kazuki was young and really pretty, and Yuu had fell for him at some point. He'd recognized that Kazuki had helped him to bear with his life for a moment, had been a kind of savior for him. And that angered Kouyou so so much. He'd first thought, after Yuu's confession on the roof on his first night in town, that he would be the one to save his beautiful broken Aoi. The one he would share his friends with, to offer him coffee every morning, to wish him good night, to send him messages to not feel so lonely. He'd done this, first because it was in his nature to do so, but also thinking he would somehow win a special place in Yuu's heart. But he wasn't the first, and it twisted his guts in all the unpleasant ways. There had been pretty, funny, head over heels in love Kazuki before him.

 

He had never questioned his looks. That wasn't something he was interested in. As he came to think about it, he realized that after he'd quit school, where he'd been bullied and called ugly so many times, his appearance hadn't seem that important to him. But somehow he knew he had no worries to have on this subject, as he had been approached by people of both sexes on a regular basis each time he was having a night off with his friends. He supposed he was pleasant for the eyes, and that was it. That wasn't something he would have gushed over neither, because really, what was there to be proud of ? You weren't responsible for the way you looked, right ? Takanori liked to say how good looking he was, despite his more than bad fashion sense. Actually, Taka used to call him and Akira « the disastrous fashion twins » . But he also often told Kouyou that he was kinda jealous of him, because even lacking this precious fashion sense Takanori was so proud of, Kouyou had a beautiful face and a body who could put anybody to shame.

 

But now he was wondering... Maybe he wasn't that attractive, after all ? Or maybe he was just for one night stands or something, not someone you could imagine build a relationship with ? He looked at himself in the mirror, the hollow cheeks, the large dark circles under his eyes, the shadow on his chin. His hair were hanging around his face, and he looked hagard and lost. Hell, how could he have been so oblivious and never realized he really had nothing appealing ? He splashed water on his face, and tied his hair in a bun. Then he went in his living room and let himself fall on his couch, were he mourned some more, drinking beer after beer, before falling in a restless sleep.

 

 

He was still struggling with his insecurities (and with his hangover) at the end of this monday morning, when he decided he needed a coffee, so he went to the desert break room to find one. On his way back to his office, he crossed path with his friends (that he'd carefully avoided all along the morning, as well as their phone calls) and Yuu.

 

« Hey, Kouyou ? Hurry up ! We were waiting for you for lunch break ! »

 

As usual, they were gathered in the hallway, ready to head for a fast food or a restaurant nearby to have their lunch break all together.

 

« Err... Not hungry, sorry ! Just go, I still have stuff to do ! See you later. »

 

He didn't miss the worried look his three friends sent him, nor Yuu's ashamed expression. His face fell at Kouyou's answer, and he lowered his gaze sadly. Kouyou chose to ignore the sickening twisting of his guts and returned to the safety of his office. He closed his door and shut any thoughts of anything that wasn't his job, and avoided taking breaks or answering his phone.

 

He worked for the rest of the day, rejecting his friends one by one when they came to check on him.

 

 

At the beginning of the evening, when he thought he was alone and all of his friends and co-workers were already back home, someone knocked at his door.

 

He huffed, annoyed, but still asked the person to come in.

 

When Yuu entered, all flustered and apologetic, Kouyou lost his breath. What was he doing here ?

 

« Kouyou, I'm sorry to disturb you but... I think we should talk, you and I. »

 

Kouyou stared at him blankly, and he didn't answer. Yuu kept on talking nervously

 

« Maybe we- »

 

« Is it something work related, manager-san ? »

 

The name, and the formal tone made Yuu wince. He looked taken aback for a moment.

 

« N-no, no, your work is perfect, as always, Kouyou. I'm really happy with all you can come up with, and- »

 

« So excuse me to be rude, but if it's not work related, I think we talked enough. I don't have time for this, and I don't have any more energy to lose in already lost battles. I got it. »

 

Yuu swallowed hard. Obviously he'd anticipated that Kouyou wasn't going to be very welcoming, but he didn't expect this. He lowered his gaze, ignoring the lump in his throat, and spoke in a low tone.

 

« I just wanted to tell you... I took Kazuki back to the train on sunday morning. We... He slept on the couch. Nothing happened... »

 

Kouyou hated himself to feel so relieved. Kazuki had not laid his hands on Yuu. Why did it matter anyway ? Yet, he didn't let anything show and forced himself to keep the cold look he'd put on his face since Yuu entered his office.

 

« … And I thought you should know, because I don't want you to think of me as... That kind of person, you know-»

 

« I didn't think about it. » Kouyou lied. « Actually, I try to not think about you anymore. »

 

Yuu felt like he just had been punched in the guts. He lowered his gaze again, hiding how Kouyou's words had hit straight to the heart. He should have waited for this. He had hoped that maybe Kouyou's feelings for him would still be vivid, considering that the young man hadn't stopped thinking that they were made for each other since the beginning, but it seemed that Kazuki's incident had been the last straw and had blown whatever flame had burnt for Yuu in Kouyou's heart. Of course. Who would keep on chasing after a man like him for so much time, after all ? He'd played with his luck for too long. He should have known.

 

« … I also... wanted to tell you, I won't take my lunch with the team anymore from now on. I... Don't want you to feel upset because I'm here. »

 

Kouyou snorted.

 

« You give yourself too much credit, manager-san. »

 

Kouyou would despise himself for a long time for acting like such an asshole. But for now, he just couldn't let Yuu get away with this without teaching him how it hurt. After all, he was the one who decided he didn't want to give them a chance, right ? So he would probably not be too affected by Kouyou's words, anyway. He probably didn't care at all.

 

« I just have a lot of inspiration for my shows these days, and I didn't want to waste it. I'll have lunch with my friends as soon as I'm done with it, whether you're here or not. Anything else you'd like to say ? Because I'm busy... »

 

Yuu shook his head. He felt like he'd been just slapped in the face. He didn't remember why he'd wanted to come to Kouyou for, in the first place. What had he been thinking about ? Any hopes he could have had that they would be better once they would have talked things out had just been crushed. He'd lost Kouyou.

 

« Nothing more. Have a good day, Kouyou. »

 

« Thank you. Manager-san. »

 

Yuu didn't bother to try to talk to him, after this. Kouyou had made it clear that he didn't want to be around him anymore, and Yuu couldn't blame him. Each time he had something to tell Kouyou, he did it by mail, or asked Kai to come to say it.

 

These were pretty much the last words they exchanged for the last week they worked together.

 

 

 

 

Kouyou finally fell asleep on his desk late in the night, too exhausted to even have a thought about Yuu.

 

Takanori woke him up when he arrived the next day. Only a look at his friends was enought to tell him that he was beyond pissed off. Taka shoved a large cup of coffee in one of his hand, and a croissant in the other.

 

« Here. Eat. »

 

« Taka, I- »

 

« Don't even try me ! I woke up two hours earlier than I should, and left my comfy bed AND Yutaka's perfect arms because you didn't answer your phone and I was worried. I went to your place and you weren't there, so I assumed you'd probably have fallen from exhaustion here and once again I was right. You eat, you drink, and then we're going to talk. If you have any consideration for me, as a friend, you're going to do just what I ask. »

 

Takanori took a seat in front of Kouyou and waited, his arms crossed on his chest, and frowning so much Kouyou decided to not upset his friend further. He knew how Taka could be when he was mad, and he knew he didn't want to be the person Taka would be mad about.

 

So Kouyou talked, and Takanori listened, only taking a break to go to the vending machines to bring Kouyou more coffee and snacks.

 

« So you got mad because he slept with this kid _before_ meeting you ? Because you were jealous ? »

 

Kouyou's eyes widened.

 

« Hey, no ! I got mad because... » he huffed. « I got mad because he slept with this kid and didn't tell me. »

 

Takanori sighed and shook his head.

 

« Kouyou, Kouyou. You've never been one to like to share your toys, right ? »

 

Kouyou was annoyed at Takanori's tone.

 

« I don't know how this is relevant ? What the hell are you talking about ? »

 

« I'm talking about the insecure side of yourself, the one that's always pushed you to fear that you would somehow lose a thing you would have to share with someone. Just like when Akira met Haruko. Or when I befriended her. Or when she got pregnant. Each time you thought you were going to lose Akira, and me. And did you ? »

 

« No.»

 

« And what does that make you ? »

 

Kouyou sighed.

 

« An idiot. »

 

« Well, yeah. But it also tells a lot about you, about this bullied kid who had no friend until Akira came in his life, a kid who didn't even get along well with his own sisters. You've been a lonely child, kouyou, and I get it that you're scared that maybe you could lose the things you have now that you craved so much when you were young. That someone could take this all away from you.You're possessive, Kouyou, and sometimes it can be cute, but also, sometimes it can be creepy too."

 

« I'm not ! I mean- »

 

« You totally are. You're a jealous person, Kou. You don't like to share what's yours. But the problem is, Yuu isn't yours. And he had a life before you. And all the right in the world to have done anything he wanted with anyone he wanted. You're mad at him, and treating him like he kinda cheated on you, when it was obviously not the case. I think you overreacted, and you said things that probably hurt him a lot. »

 

Kouyou ended up crying again, but softly this time.

 

« I'm trying to accept the situation. To digest that Yuu doesn't want me the way I want him. That maybe he isn't the one I thought he was, and that maybe I was wrong all along. But I'm so mad. Because he lied to me. And because maybe if this kid hadn't showed, he would finally have given me the occasion to prove that we deserved a chance. But then this Kazuki appeared and it seemed like he'd lost all interest in me. »

 

« Technically, Yuu didn't lie to you. He just didn't tell you something. That's not the same ! »

 

« Oh don't go on semantics with me now, Taka ! »

 

« Do you really think that I told Yutaka everything about my past, Kouyou ? Do you think I told him about the multiple times I picked at random girls or boys in bars, just because I felt so fucking lonely and couldn't handle to spend the night alone ? Do you think I told him about Shin, who I went out with just to try to forget the heartache I suffered when Akira and Haruko met ? Or how I cheated on this poor guy one night I was too drunk to realize what I was doing ? How I broke his heart that night when he entered our room to find me there laying with another guy ? Do you think he would want to know about this ?»

 

Kouyou shook his head no. He knew he was the only one Takanori had spoken to about this. He knew how ashamed he had been, and how regretful he was, not because he had lost Shin ( he wasn't in love with Shin, but the boy was really sweet and caring, and unluckily for him, totally head over heels for Taka) but because he'd hurt him badly. And Shin didn't deserve it.

 

« I'm not considering myself a liar. And I love Kai to death, you know it. But he doesn't have to know everything about me to love me, right ? And what do you think I would gain if I knew about Kai's past love life ? Nothing. I'd probably be jealous, bitter, and it would more than likely bring me to ask myself a ton of questions, to be more insecure, to fear that I could lose him. I love him today, and I'm so fucking lucky he's finally mine. That's all that counts. »

 

Kouyou lowered his head in shame.

 

He could see that Takanori was right. He realized he'd been unfair with Yuu, understood now that his behaviour hadn't been appropriate and that his reaction had been out of proportion. Still, Yuu had tried to make things better between them, because maybe he still cared about Kouyou as a friend, and Kouyou had just rejected him and been utterly despicable.

 

He'd fucked up. He'd been the one to push Yuu away, and now he would never be able to fix what he'd done.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me? <3


	14. Go your own way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new update ;)   
> I heard some of you are craving angst, hmmm? Enjoy then!

 

_"Nobody said it was easy_   
_It's such a shame for us to part_   
_Nobody said it was easy_   
_No one ever said it would be this hard..."_

Coldplay, "The Scientist".

 

 

On Friday, Kouyou's nerves were all around the place. He was on his sixth night of torture, brain going crazy with sadness and despair, frustration eating the best out of him, and he couldn't get rid of Yuu related thougths. The few hours of sleep he could catch late at night were filled of dreams -sometimes nightmares- all featuring Yuu. He went to bed exhausted and heartbroken, and he woke up in a worse state every morning. He talked to Takanori a lot, and it relieved him somehow, but never long enough to ease the constricting feeling that made it more difficult for him to breathe everyday.

 

He had arrived early at the radio, and as usual as it had been since monday, he'd immersed himself in work immediatly, the only thing that could keep his mind busy and free from Yuu. After his show, Taka had come to take him for their usual break (they hadn't took any during the past days, but Taka was adamant that Kouyou should come back to a routine. This, and the way his legs were feeling mushy from the lack of sleep and real food, helped Kouyou to agree to his friend's request).

 

They joined Yutaka and Akira there, and sat around a table. Kouyou felt better, just to be around his friends like this. He tried to relax, while Akira showed them the last pics he took of Mako last evening on his phone.

 

« Hey look, on this one she looks so much like Haruko, it's crazy ! »

 

« Yeah, I know, right ? »

 

« Luckily for her ! I mean, I realized something. Actually, Mako only looks like you when she's being a clown, that should say something, right ? »

 

« Hey ! That's not true ! My daughter has my nose, and... »

 

Kouyou smiled weakly. Yeah, his friends were all he needed to relax and forget what troubled his mind. He kept on listening to them banter, but felt confused when Takanori stopped talking and frowned.

 

As he had his back turned to the door, he couldn't see the people who were entering the break room. But he heard their voices, and of course he recognized them.

 

« … that's nice of you, Kathy-san. Thank you for coming all the way here to give me these informations. I will see if any of these sponsors are interested in giving a chance to Radio Jack. » Yuu sounded tired.

 

« No problem, really ! Besides, I wanted to meet Radio Jack's new boss in person, and I have to say, it was worth the walk ! You're really a treat for the eyes ! See, maybe you could let me take you out for a drink someday soon, and we could- Ouch ! »

 

_What ?! Not again ?!?_

 

In the blink of an eye, before anyone could react or prevent what was about to happen, Kouyou had got up from his seat, knocking it over in the process, and grabbed Kathy by his collar, throwing him against the wall, very close to the spot where Yutaka had done the exact same thing two weeks earlier. Kathy's head banged on the wall _again,_ and if he'd been scared of Yutaka's wrath, now he was clearly ready to wet his pants, what with the murderous glare Kouyou was throwing him.

 

Everybody had reacted now, Takanori and Akira rushing to hold Kouyou, whose left arm was aiming to punch Kathy's incredulous face. Yuu was pale and shocked, his jaw slightly agape, and unable to process what was going on here.

 

« Let go of me, you two, I'm gonna beat the shit out of this bastard now ! » Kouyou growled.

 

« Kouyou, hey ! Please, listen to me now ! Kouyou ! » Yutaka came closer, and tried to make him focus his attention on something else. « He isn't worth it, Kou. Let him go. Everybody knows he's just a piece of shit... » Sending a despising look Kathy's way.

 

Yuu seemed to come down to reality. He put his hand on Kouyou's forearm hesitantly.

 

« Kouyou... You shouldn't do this. Maybe we should have a talk, just you and me, in my office, and- »

 

Kouyou snarled, and shook Kathy violently a last time (making his head collide a last time with the break-room wall) before letting him slip on the floor. Then he shoved Yuu's hand from his arm.

 

« Don't you touch me ! I don't want to go to your fucking office, or nowhere near you.»

 

Kathy escaped the room and nobody noticed. He promised himself he would never come to this break room again. Too dangerous. Too many psychos around.

 

A heavy silence fell on the room, following Kouyou's venomous words.

 

« Excuse me ? »

 

Yuu was confused and hurt, and he didn't honestly know how to react to Kouyou's hostility. The young man was looking at him with so much hate...

 

And in the blink of an eye it was all gone. Kouyou began to shake, and he took his face in his hands, letting a shaky breath out.

 

«I can't do this anymore. I can't. It's too hard... » he whispered.

 

« Kouyou... » Yuu tried to approach him, but Kouyou took a step back.

 

« You have no idea how much I've tried. To ignore you. To not love you. I've tried to keep my distances, but I just couldn't. Then I thought maybe I could still have a chance, so I tried to be the best I could, because maybe then, if I was better, I'd be worthy of you, and you'd like me. But nothing I did was enough... You still don't like me... I'm not enough and I can't stand it... »

 

And now Kouyou was crying, all the desperation of the world in his words , and Yuu's heart broke. Kouyou's three friends were looking at him helplessly, not knowing how to react at his breakdown.

 

« Kouyou, that's not it- »

 

« And I know... I know someday you're going to find someone who'll be enough. Someone that you'll fall for, just like I fell for you. You'll just enter the room, and we will see you beaming because you'll be in love with someone else. And I can't... I don't want to wait for this to happen, because I won't be able to handle this. It's too hard, Yuu. And I'm so tired. »

 

Yuu was looking back at Kouyou's teary eyes, listening to his broken voice, his shaky sobs.

 

« You said I was in love with a fake, but you're wrong, Yuu. Because I've known Aoi for only... what... two days, and I've known you for much longer, now. And what is it, if it isn't love, that keeps me awake at night, that prevents me to eat, that crushes my lungs so much I can't even breathe when I try to picture my life without you ? »

 

And Yuu was trying to find something to say, but his mind was just in such a mess it wasn't possible for him to think clearly. He had to say something quickly because he couldn't stand the sight of Kouyou so distressed, so sad, it was too much.

 

« Kouyou, please, listen- »

 

« Don't, Yuu. Please. Don't say it. I get it. I was so happy when I met you, so sure you and I would be a thing and that finally I had found the one I would share my life with. I was so ready to give you everything, and I didn't think I would ever regret meeting you. And here I am, so miserable and pathetic, pining after you like a stupid schoolboy having his first crush, hurting day and night because my feelings aren't reciprocated, dying from jealousy each time I imagine you with someone else. And I'm so done, and I wish I'd driven all the way to my parent's this day, so that I wouldn't have met you and I would have spared myself the heartbreak. »

 

That was it. Yuu felt both totally numb and completely crushed, if it was even possible. Kouyou was regreting he'd met him. Yuu had hurt him so much acting like he had, denying his feelings, then somehow encouraging him, to reject him one more -one _last_ \- time, and he'd damaged the younger's heart so much that now he wished they'd never met and spent the wonderful moments they'd had together. Kouyou was ready to give up on them if it could bring him some peace of mind, and it devastated Yuu much more than what he'd thought.

 

Taka was still by Kouyou's side, and he put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, squeezing softly while Kouyou was still sobbing helplessly. It seemed to have an instantly soothing effect, and Kouyou began to breathe slower.

 

« I'm going to take you home, Kou. And I will stay with you a bit, ok ? You'll have to rest and eat properly, and maybe you two will take some time to talk together in the next days. That would be a good idea to- »

 

Kouyou sniffed a last time and shook his head no. He looked at Takanori apologectically.

 

« You're right, I should take some rest. But I will go alone, Taka, I'd rather stay by myself for a while. And there's no need to talk, really. There's nothing more we could say anyway. » He sighed , and lowered his head shamefully. « I'm sorry for... This. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go home. »

 

They all nodded, even Yuu who'd stayed as silent and pale as a statue. Before he left the room, Kouyou turned back, and caught Taka in a tight hug.

 

« I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me, ok ? »

 

Takanori hugged him back, feeling a bit overwhelmed by his friend's sadness.

 

« I'm not, don't worry. Call me later, ok ? »

 

« I will. See you, guys. » He turned a last time to look at Yuu, his gaze lingering a bit on the older man's face. « Bye, Yuu. »

 

A strangled voice answered him.

 

« Take care, Kouyou. »

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Kouyou's departure, Yuu closed himself in his office. He'd asked Yutaka if he could stay alone, and the young man had been understanding and told him that he would spend the rest of the day in the tech room with Taka. He'd taken his laptop with him, and had sent a worried look his way, before leaving their office. Yuu thought he'd been doing a great job, hiding his distress, but it was hard to hide anything from Yutaka.

 

« Yuu-san. You know I'm here if you need to talk, ok ? »

 

Yuu merely nodded. He didn't trust himself to not burst into tears if someone was showing him a bit of compassion, and anyway he didn't deserved any, after what he'd done to Kouyou.

 

Once the door was shut closed, he allowed himself to cry, wallowing a in spiral of self hatred and despise, knowing that once again he'd been proven right, he wasn't able to love someone. To be precise, he was able to love, if the burning void in his soul and heart was an indicator of his feelings for Kouyou, if the hate he could feel for himself at the thought of having damaged Kouyou that much was a clue to it. He just didn't knew how to do it, he just wasn't made for it. His own heart had been too torn appart, and now there wasn't anything that would be able to fix it and make it functional again. Kouyou had probably been his last chance of redemption, and he'd wasted it, losing his ultimate opportunity to know what happiness was.  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Any other day, Taka would have been ecstatic to have Yutaka back with him in the tech room for the rest of the morning and a whole afternoon. Any other day. But now wasn't a normal day, and he had a very deep sense of unease since Kouyou had left earlier. Something was off with his friend, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt uncomfortable. A bit after noon, they'd gone to take their luch break, only the three of them (Yuu hadn't showed up out of his office, he'd just answered no and excused himself to a text Yutaka sent him to ask if he wanted to join them) , and Taka had tried to call Kouyou. Five times. Akira and Yutaka tried to reassure him, telling that Kouyou was more than likely sleeping his heartache over, and that they would all go to check on him after work. They were all worried, but they had to let him rest and recover a bit.

 

In the middle of the afternoon though, Taka found himself at the door of Kouyou's small office. There was something _really wrong_ in the air, and he could feel it almost _physically._ Despite Akira and Yutaka's words of comfort, he hadn't been able to get rid of the anxiety and his stomach was so tense he hadn't swallowed anything but an Orangina for lunch.

 

He opened the door and cursed under his breath.

 

« Fuck. »

 

Something was really wrong. Kouyou's desk, usually a mess of notes and pens, was immaculate. And the frames ( pics of Mako, of them all together) decorating the wall above the chair were all gone.

 

« Fuck, fuck, fuck !!! »

 

Takanori ran to the tech room where he found Yutaka, who was busy with Akira's show.

 

« I have to go. Something's wrong with Kouyou, he took his stuff from his office, I need to go there. »

 

Yutaka frowned, suddenly worried.

 

« Okay, you go there, and please call us as soon as you know something ! »

 

Takanori took a cab to bring him to Kouyou's appartment. He chose the stairs because the elevator seemed too slow, and arrived at Kouyou's door, panting and dead worried. He knocked on the door, once, two, three times, and as Kouyou didn't seemed to want to open his door, he began to shout.

 

« Kouyou ! Kouyou open the door ! It's me ! »

 

He banged at the door with his two fists.

 

« Kouyou, I swear I'm going to call the police if you don't open that fucking door ! You'd better not having done something stupid or I swear I will fucking kill you !!!! »

 

As it wasn't enough, he began to kick the door while still banging.

 

« Kouyou I'm calling them know ! I warned you ! Kouyou please !!! Kouyou motherfucker- »

 

« Are you Matsumoto-san ? » A weak voice asked from behind him. Takanori turned back, his eyes full of tears of fear and frustration. He wiped them angrily with the back of his hand.

 

« Yes ? »

 

« Takashima-san said you would come. He said you'd probably be angry and yell, that's how I knew it was you. » The old woman from the next appartment took an enveloppe from her cardigan's pocket. « He told me to give you this, and to say he was sorry. Have a good evening, Matsumoto-san, and please stop being so loud. »

 

Takanori didn't even answer. He was looking at the enveloppe in his shaky hands. What the hell was this ? He didn't thought further, and tore it open. Inside were two paper sheets. One had his name on it.

 

_Taka._

 

_I have to go._

_I can't keep on going like this._

_I can't have my heart breaking each time I see him in a hallway, and I can't spend my time avoiding him. It's too much for me to take. I have no fun doing my job anymore, everything is so dull. I need to find a way to find myself back._

_I know you're mad at me, and I understand. I'm so sad I have to do this, I feel like I'm abandoning you all, and I already miss you. I don't want to go, but I feel like I'm going crazy if I stay._

_I will call you in a few days, don't worry about me, I won't do anything stupid, I promise._

_Take care of yourself, and of Yutaka. Tell Aki and Haruko I'm sorry. And kiss Mako for me when you'll see her next time. Tell her uncle Kouyou misses her._

_Bye._

_K._

 

_(the other paper is my resignment letter, please give it to Yuu, ok?)_

 

 

Takanori was crying in the hallway, from relief -he'd imagined at some point that Kouyou had maybe hurt himself- and from frustration. What the fuck had he been thinking when he'd let Kouyou go alone in the morning ? He should have known better.

 

He took his taxi back to Radio Jack's building, and went to inform his friends. Then they went to Yuu's office. He was standing by the window, looking blankly at the trafic outside. He looked painfully sad and tired. He jumped a bit when they knock on his open door.

 

Yutaka explained him the whole situation, and they saw the manager's face fall.

 

« Kouyou's... Gone ? »

 

« Yes. Here's his resignment letter. »

 

« Oh my god, no... I mean, he can't resign. This job is so important for him- »

 

« Guess that's not the only thing that was. »

 

Yuu looked at Takanori, a bit hurt by the snapping tone.

 

« Don't look at me like you don't understand why he's gone. He's giving up on a life he loved, on his friends, on a job he was passionated about. And all this because of what ? »

 

Yutaka caught his boyfriend's wrist.

 

« Taka, shhh. »

 

Takanori sent him a glare.

 

« Don't shush me. You know I'm right. Kouyou would NEVER have gone if it wasn't for trying to save what remained of his broken heart once it'd been played with and thrown carelessly. »

 

« Kouyou thinks I played with him ? » Yuu's voice was strangled.

 

« Oh, no, don't worry, Kouyou only sees you like the most perfect human being. He doesn't see that you're a manipulative coward. He's been here for you right from the start, wanting to give you the world, and all you've done to him is take back what little affection you'd just gave him. You've never really tried, you never really told him what you wanted from him. You said « just friends », but everytime you looked at him it wasn't the look of a friend, and as you weren't clear in your actions it confused Kouyou and let him think that maybe he had a chance. If you're not responsible for the feelings he developped for you, you're responsible because you didn't prevent him to fall harder for you, until it was too late for him. »

 

« Taka, that's enough. We should go now. »

 

« We lost Kouyou because of YOU. And you're lucky he was strong enough he didn't harm himself. And to think I defended you when we talked about what happened on last saturday, I will never regret something more in my whole life. You're such a- »

 

« TAKANORI ! »

 

Yutaka snapped, and Taka just stopped talking. He narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend, offended that he could have taken such an autoritary tone to speak to him.

 

« You're overstepping the boundaries ! It's not your place to say such things. We're still at work, and Yuu is still your boss here. Wait for me outside, I'll be right here in a few minutes. »

 

« Don't bother, _deputy manager-san_. I'm a big boy, I'm able to come back at my place on my own. Have a lovely evening. » He stormed out of the room without a single glance in their direction, his angry steps echoing in the hallway.

 

Akira had stayed silent during the exchange. He bowed at Yuu, giving him an apologetic look, before heading to the door. He squeezed his friend's shoulder before leaving.

 

« Looks like you put yourself in serious trouble here, Yutaka. »

 

« Nothing that won't be fixed later, I hope ».

 

 

 

 

 

**

 

 _Takanori :_ Kouyou ? Please ? I need to talk to you. Let us know you're ok.

 

**

 

 _Yutaka :_ 4 missed calls

 

 _Yutaka :_ Taka, answer my calls, please.

 

 _Yutaka :_ 2 missed calls

 

 _Yutaka :_ Babe. I know you're worried. You shouldn't be alone now. I'm sorry.

 

 _Yutaka :_ 2 missed calls

 

 _Yutaka :_ I'm really sorry. Call me if you need me ?

 

 

**

 

 _Yutaka : 3_ missed calls

 

 _Yutaka :_ Kouyou. We're all dead worried. Take care, ok ?

 

 

**

 

 _Akira :_ Bro. We're freaking out. Where are you ? Call me or something ?

 

**

 

 _Unknown number :_ Hey Aiko. It's Akira. Sorry to message you like this, but we're concerned, and I don't know what else to do. Kouyou was kinda upset these last days, and today he just left for we don't know where, and I wanted to know if maybe he was back at your parents'. Please don't talk about this to your mother, I wouldn't want to worry her too much until we know more about this, ok ?

 

 _Aiko_ : Did something bad happen ? I can't picture Kouyou leaving everything behind all of a sudden, it's not like him. He's not here, and I'm concerned too now. I'll tell you immediatly if he shows up. Message me if you have some news, please ?

 

**

 

 _Akira :_ Haruko wants us to talk about this. Can you come over ?

 

 _Takanori :_ I'm already on my way.

 

 _Yutaka :_ Having a shower and coming right after.

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

The four of them were gathered around the garden table. Mako was sleeping peacefully. Takanori had avoided to talk directly to Yutaka, and the deputy-manager tried to not think too much about it.

 

« What are we going to do if he never gets in touch with us again ? »

 

« Taka, don't say things like that. You know Kouyou would never do that. He needs some space, and we're going to let him breathe. For now, we just want to know that nothing happened to him. » Akira sighed.

 

« Yes, that's the most important. I wouldn't want to have to call the police stations or the hospitals around to see if there had been accidents in the area-

 

Akira's phone shimed.

 

 _Aiko :_ Kouyou just arrived. He looks like shit and is actually crying in the kitchen. Mom is with him. I didn't understand everything but he wants Dad to find him a job to stay here ??? What the fuck happened to him Akira ?

 

Akira informed his wife and friends, and typed a quick answer.

 

 _Akira :_ Thank you so much, Aiko. We're relieved that he's safe, and has someone to take care of him. Can you maybe ask your mother to tell Kouyou to take his time before he makes a decision about the job thing? And I'm sorry, but it's not my business to tell you what happened, maybe you should ask him ? He's been through a lot lately, please treat him well for all of us ?

 

 _Aiko :_ I will. And I will also update you tomorrow. Have a good night. Oh, and congratulations for your daughter, Mom showed me pics and she's a cutie ! You're a lucky guy !

 

 _Akira :_ Thanks, Aiko ! And of course she's a cutie, with a father like me what did you expect ?:)

 

Akira just finished his message when Yutaka's phone vibrated on the table.

He frowned and looked at the messages

 

 _Yuu :_ Do you have news from Kouyou ? Did you messaged his family ?

 

 _Yuu :_ I kept his resignment letter and didn't gave it to the big boss.

 

 _Yuu :_ Actually I don't plan to give it at all.

 

 _Yuu :_ I'm the one leaving. I prepared my own letter and will resign tomorrow. I won't take this away from him. He loves his job and you're his family. If me being here makes him want to leave, I have to go. I just hope he will come back and feel better soon.

 

 _Yuu :_ I'm sorry for everything I'm making you all go through.

 

Yutaka read them out loud. Takanori snorted, and he chose to ignore it.

 

 _Yutaka :_ We just learnt he was at his parents'. It seems like he planned to go to work for his father there. Maybe it's not necessary for you to leave, maybe we can sort this out ? Where will you go ?

 

 _Yuu :_ Oh no.

 

 _Yuu :_ Please don't let him do this, he would hate it and be miserable for the rest of his life if he worked with his father. Tell him to come back when he feels like it. I will arrange things at works, he still has a lot of overtime hours to catch on, so it should be okay.

 

 _Yuu :_ I have things to do on my own. Before I can try to build myself a life. Maybe I need some vacations. I will figure it out. It's not that important anyway. Good night, Yutaka, and thank you.

 

 

***

 

They drank another beer and decided to call it a day. They had all decided to let Kouyou lick his wounds in peace for a few days before they'd act on something, and they were all tired. Takanori stood up from his chair and put the empty bottles in the thrash can, and asked Akira if he could give him a drive home. Akira made a face but agreed, sending a sorry look Kai's way, who tried to pacify his boyfriend.

 

« Taka, maybe I could take you home and we could talk instead ? »

 

« I'd rather not. I'm not in the mood to be lectured or treated like a fucking child, and I'd rather be alone for now. Good night. »

 

« Taka- »

 

« I'm waiting in your car, Aki. »

 

 

Yutaka sighed and passed his hands on his face. A headache was slowly moving in his skull, and he didn't know how he was going to fix this. Akira gave him a pat on his back, grabbing his car keys and heading for the door.

 

« He'll be more easy to talk with tomorrow. Don't take it personnaly. You know he always feels everything stronger than he should, and Kouyou is such an important person for him. He's trying to fake he's okay, but he's devastated and probably freaking out that Kouyou could never come back. »

 

« I thought I was important too. » Kai looked so dejected, Haruko came near him and caught him in a hug.

 

« You idiot. Don't doubt about it. Takanori is crazy about you. »

 

Yutaka hugged back, still feeling utterly depressed.

 

It took him twenty more minutes than usual to get back to his appartment. He threw his keys on the countertop of the hallway, took off his shoes and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. He found nothing he really craved for , and wasn't hungry anyway. He let himself fall on the couch and caught his phone.

 

Yutaka : Damn, Taka.

 

Yutaka : I know it's not easy for you. I wish I could just hold you now.

 

Yutaka : I don't want to sleep without you.

 

Two hours ( and a lot of one-sided texts) later and he was at Takanori's door, knocking shyly.

His boyfriend's face appeared in the half opened doorframe, eyes red and bloodshot.

 

« Hey- »

 

« I told you I didn't want to see you tonight. »

 

« I know. I'm kinda stubborn and a bit idiot, too. I had to see you. »

 

A tired sigh.

 

« Listen, Yutaka, now is not the time, I- »

 

« I can't let things like this. You're mad at me for no good reasons, and- »

 

« For no good reasons ? Really Yutaka ? Well I think you can go home, now, I definitely don't want to talk to you. »

 

« I get it that you were mad at Yuu because his affair with Kouyou didn't go well. I get it that you want to protect Kouyou because he's your closest friend. But did you try to walk in Yuu's shoes ? You told me yourself that Kouyou had overreacted at this ex of Yuu's appearance last saturday. You told me yourself that he'd said some rather ugly things to Yuu that must have hurt him deeply, and that Yuu had all the right to keep things from his past for himself if he wanted to. So now you can't just act like all is Yuu's only fault and Kouyou was all innocent. Yuu repeated him several times that he wasn't ready for a relationship, and he kept on trying. Because he was in love with him. »

 

« I won't talk about this now. You yelled at me and treated me like shit, and you defended that asshole- »

 

« Oh and what was I supposed to do ? Just shut my mouth and listen to your rant ? Yuu is still your boss, if I'm allowed to remind you, and he could have fired you if he'd been half of the asshole you're accusing him to be. For the record, Yuu was beginning to be our friend too, and if anyone had acted with him like Kouyou, but hadn't been Kouyou, would you still have stood for him ?You were being unfair, but I should have let you finish, because if I was talking against you then you'll dump me ? Is this how our relationship is going to be like ? If I disagree with you then I'll lose you ? Is it what is going on right now ? Am I losing you ? »

 

Takanori looked stunned. His anger had disappeared as soon as he'd realized Yutaka's distress and his teary eyes.

 

« Losing me ? What are you talking about, Yutaka ? »

 

« You don't even want to talk to me now, just because I did something I believed was right. I like Yuu a lot. He's nice, funny and smart, and he has always treated me very respectfully and fairly. I hate it when you're upset, Taka, but I can't let you think you're right when you're not. But we can't let this destroy what we have, I don't want us to fight, I don't want you to break up with me- »

 

« Yutaka. Seriously. »

 

Yutaka stopped ranting at his boyfriend's interruption. He still had his hands gripping at his hair frustratedly, and he widened his eyes when Taka shook his head with a half hearted smile.

 

« What ? »

 

« I'm not breaking up with you. What the hell are you thinking ? I'm upset, because Kouyou's gone, because Yuu hasn't made anything to make him stay, because you fucking lectured me and took Yuu's defense, because you three are all a bunch of idiots. I'm mad and I'm scared for Kouyou. I wanted some time for myself to vent out and be angry on my own. But I've never thought- not a single time- to break up with you. Are you really stupid or what ? »

 

« Oh. »

 

Yutaka was speechless now. He let his arms fall back on his sides and put his hands in his pocket. He looked really flustered, and Takanori wasn't able to repress a weak smile.

 

« I've waited for you for so long, you can't seriously believe that I'm going to not have you anymore because we disagreed on something ? I'm a bit more in love with you than what you seem to think.»

 

« I must look like an idiot, now. » Yutaka scratched his neck, looking at his feet. « Guess I'll just go home and let you sleep... Sorry... Take your time and call me if you need, okay ? » He took a step back and was about to leave when Taka called him softly.

 

« Yutaka ?... You are really cute and the way you freaked out is kinda sweet and... I'm glad that our relationship means that much to you too. So... Yeah... Come in... »

 

Yutaka's hesitant smile lighten the hallway.

 

« Really ? »

 

« Yeah, really, dummy. But you're sleeping on the couch. I'm still mad. »

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love each of your comments y'all, so don't hesitate to give me happiness and your opinion about how the story's going... Thank you for reading <3


	15. To guard you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally can update One Night Soulmate! I'm so sorry I let you all without news of our poor boys, I really hope it won't happen again. You have no idea how much this story means to me, and how much I appreciate the support I've received so far from you all. You guys are the best!
> 
> If you want to be in the perfect mood for reading, I suggest you to listen to Miyavi's "Guard you" for the first part of the chapter (Aoi's part) and to crowded House's "Don't dream it's over" for the second part (Kouyou's). It's on ONS' spotify (link at the beginning of the fic).
> 
>  
> 
> I also wanted to add that I'm very happy and quite proud that One Night Soulmate is actually available in russian, here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8383436 , thanks to Moran and her hard work! Thank you so much!

_"This is the way to guard you_

_To be far away from you_

_I'll do anything to take away the pain that harms you_

_And count every second til the skies are blue"_

 

_Miyavi, Guard You_

 

 

 

 

 

Yutaka was the first to arrive at the radio the next morning.

 

He'd left Taka's couch (on which he'd slept, but with Takanori curled up against him) and wrote a short note explaining why he was going earlier than usual. And just like he thought, Yuu's car was already parked near the building they were all working in. The car seemed full of cardboard boxes.

 

Without surprise he found his manager in their shared office. Yuu was packing things in another box, dark circles under his eyes, and he smiled tiredly at Yutaka.

 

« Ah, Yutaka, good morning. I didn't think I'd see any of you all before leaving. Guess I underestimated you once again, right ? »

 

« I don't know why I figured out that you might escape early, and I didn't want you to go without being able to say goodbye properly. »

 

Yuu shook his head, pretending he was still smiling, but his glossy eyes told another story.

 

« Don't you want to try to wait for Kouyou to come back and find another solution ? I mean, maybe there's something else we could- »

 

« Thank you, Yutaka. For all you've done for me, since I arrived. But I can't stay here and risk that Kouyou could choose to not come back because of me. He deserves to get his life back, free from me and whatever harm I've done to him. Besides, if I have to be honest, I can't expect to change my life if I still have things that keep reminding me of the bad choices I've done in the past. I have to fix what's wrong before I move on. I must learn to not be such a coward and face my mistakes.»

 

Yuu had finished to pack. Yutaka helped him to carry his stuff to his car, and when he'd finally put everything in the trunk, he turned to face him.

 

«I've let instructions to the big boss, everything should be fine if Kouyou is back in less than ten days, luckily he had pre-recorded a lot of shows. And I recommended you as the main manager. You're more than qualified for this. I recommended that they hire a deputy manager, though, because you can't do everything by yourself, and Taka has enough work as it is. I hope they will take my advices seriously. » Yuu paused, and adverted his eyes. «  Thank you, for everything you helped me with, and for coming this early to- »

 

Yutaka didn't hesitate and hugged him.

 

« Thank _you_ , Yuu-kun. We're all going to miss you. »

 

And Yuu bursted into tears.

 

 

 

 

And here he was, some hours later, parking his car in front of a simple house in a quiet street. His car window was wide open, the weather was beautiful, and he could hear the noise of the ocean nearby. He took a long breath, to prepare himself for what he was about to do. He felt exhausted from the long drive, from the emotionnal breakdown he'd had when Yutaka had hugged him. Of course, knowing that he was leaving behind Kouyou and every chance he could have to make amend was draining him, and the fact that he'd probably never see him again was slowly killing him inside, but he'd get what he deserved, right ? He'd also cried because he knew he would miss them all, not only Kouyou. He'd been welcomed so warmly, and they'd made him become a part of their little family so quickly, he had felt so good amongst them. He'd somehow felt at home there, a thing he hadn't felt since so long.

 

Home.

 

He sighed, and get out of his car, fearing what could happen once he'd have knocked to that oh so familiar door, an intense feeling of deep nostalgia overwhelming him as he passed the little wooden garden door before stopping at the doorstep. He took a shaky breath again, and before he could knock the door was open, revealing a middle aged woman with dark hair.

 

« Ma... » Yuu's voice was strangled. He'd forgot everything he wanted to say, all the heartfelt apologies he'd repeated countless times in his head last night.

 

Two arms welcomed him. No words were necessary. He cried a second time this day, for the forgiveness he knew he didn't deserve but still found here, he cried for his past messed up life, for the new one he thought he'd found but already lost, for the new precious friends he'd given up on, he cried for Kouyou. And when he finally could breathe normally between two sobs, all he could say was a broken « Sorry ». And through her tears, his mother just shook her head and cupped his face with a warm smile.

 

« There's no need to be, darling. Come in.»

 

It was easier than he thought. Guess a mother's love was that hard to lose. She prepared them tea, and said she'd been expecting him for a few weeks, since Sakai had called them when Yuu had left him. He'd called several times, and each time he'd asked Yuu's mother to tell him if Yuu showed up. She told Yuu she never have planned to do it. Then they settled on the sofa of the living room, and Yuu was glad nothing had changed since he last came. He loved his childhood house, and felt thankful that his parents didn't feel the need to change their furniture or their decoration often. For now, everything he felt he needed was a safe and familiar place to stay, if he was allowed to.

 

Yuu didn't tell much.

 

He said Sakai wasn't a good person and he'd decided to leave him, he said he'd been trying to change his life, found a new place to live and a new job, met really amazingly kind people but that in the end things didn't turn out the way he expected and he'd had to leave. He said he needed time to recover and to work on himself first, before being able to move on and choose what he wanted. And before he'd even asked, his mother told him he could stay with them for as long as he needed.

 

He cried a third time then.

 

And when his father came back from work, later, after they'd hugged for long minutes, they moved his boxes from his car to the garage of the house, and he put his clothes back in his teenage bedroom closet. And for the first time in a long time, and even with the empty space aching in his ribcage, he felt at peace.

 

 

 

 

He had been back at his parents' for a few days now. He'd stayed home the day after his arrival, trying to sleep most of the time since he was exhausted from the night before, busy as he'd been, packing his stuff and hurting, thinking about Kouyou. Unluckily, his brain had refused to let him rest and when his mother had brought him things to eat, she had found him with puffy eyes and had been worried because he lacked appetite for everything she had brought him. Then, after another sleepless night he was up at dawn on his third day there, and had taken a quick breakfast with his parents before heading to the docks.

 

He thought they would have the thing he was looking for there, and he was right.

 

When he returned some hours later, he was physically exhausted but he felt better... And he had a job. His mother frowned when he told her that he'd signed to work to unload cargoes from boats. She didn't understand why he would do such a draining work, when he could just rest and recover, and find something later, that suited more to the education he's got before. He'd reassured her, telling her that it would be a temporary thing, and that if he didn't need the money that much, the physical effort was indeed something that could be helpful. Such an intense activity would prevent him for crashing down too much and to wallow in self pity. And maybe it would help him to sleep too, eventually.

 

He began to follow a new routine, getting up with the first rays of sunshine and working hard on the docks. Then he came back home, had a late lunch with his mother and helped her in the little garden where she grew vegetables and fruits.

 

They talked about anything, and Yuu often shared stories of the moments he'd had with his previous team at radio Jack, and she shared gossips about the neighbourhood with him.

 

Then they were having tea, and after he grabbed his board and went to the beach . Sometimes he surfed for hours, sometimes he just sat on the beach, watching the waves, sometimes he just walked in the water along the shore. It was soothing, familiar, conforting. Even if Kouyou almost never left his thoughts. He was amazed at the strenght of the feelings he had for the young man, now aknowledging them and even embracing them after denying them for so long. It hurt, yes, but he didn't want to let go of them. They were a part of him, and he deserved very much to hurt after what Kouyou had to endure. And it still connected him to Kouyou.

 

He also sent daily texts to Yutaka there, to check on Kouyou.

 

Then he came back, showered and had diner with his parents, and watched some silly tv shows with them after, just like when he was a young kid, sat on the carpet at his mother's feet. The good thing about his new job was that he'd found his appetite back, and that it helped him to fall asleep quickly. It didn't prevent him for waking up several times at night after though, and that was the worst part, when loneliness and helplessness overbear him. He had to cry silently for long moments before he fell asleep again, drained by all the tears he'd shed.

 

On friday afternoon, after work, he went to the local supermarket to try to find a book. Maybe he would find something that would help him to busy his mind late at night. He walked along the lines of the library part of the shop, when his eyes caught a glimpse of a manga cover on a shell, with a big red tag above it signalling that it was « NEW », and his heart stopped. What the...?!

 

That couldn't be.

 

Pastel shades, a honey-dripping tittle -The Alien of my dreams (ugh...)- and a view of -Yuu supposed- the main character of the book, who looked like a manga version of Kouyou. Perfect nose, half lidded eyes, soft grin, ruffled hair... Even the pose of the lanky character was so Kouyou, leaning against a wall with two fingers of his right hand forming a « v ». How on earth was it possible... ? Wait a minute... He looked for the name of the author, and suddenly all become clear. Haruko Asano. Yeah, right. Haruko hadn't change her mangaka name after she'd married Akira, since she was already famous with her birth name. And she'd mentionned that she sometimes got inspired by real people to create the characters of her mangas.

 

« Hum, excuse me, sir. If you're interested in this manga, it's the last I have... And as it's the first of this new series, there's a beautiful poster as a gift. »

 

Yuu had forgotten why he was here, and he didn't even register the smug look the cashier sent him when he paid for his yaoi manga, busy that he was looking forward to open the plastic film that was protecting the poster to see how it looked like.

He just couldn't wait, and when he reached home, he kissed distractedly his mother cheek before saying that he wasn't hungry and that she could eat without him. Then he went straight to his bedroom, and let himself fall on the bed before tearing the damn thing open.

 

And it didn't disappoint. The poster was a close up of Kouyou's face -or rather his cartooned character, Ayame- and Yuu found himself unable to breathe. A lump was growing in his throat, and tears were pooling in his eyes. How the hell was he supposed to forget such a perfect face, knowing that it belonged to the loveliest and kindest being Yuu had ever met ?

 

A knock at his door, and his mother didn't wait for his consent to enter. She looked concerned, and even more so when she saw the tears on her son's face. She sat beside him and sighed, taking the poster from his shaking hands and looking at it.

 

« Let me guess... Is he looking like this Kouyou guy ? »

 

Yuu was confused. He hadn't said anything about Kouyou that could have let her know his feelings.

 

« I'm not blind, Yuu. From what you said, I first believed you'd fell in love with that Akira guy, and that you'd chosen to leave because he had a wife and a baby. Then I thought maybe it was because you were in love with Yutaka since you always talked about him and seem to think so highly of him and as he already had a boyfriend... But then, I noticed that there was this one person you talked less about, but each time you did it was with that sad smile and a pained face. Kouyou. And I'm not deaf yet either. Our walls are thin, Yuu, I hear you crying at night, and I don't know what happened between you and him, but I know you're hurting now, and I wish I could help. »

 

« Ma... »

 

« I've called your therapist friend. She was happy to know about you, since you hadn't contacted her since you left Sakai. I told her you needed someone to talk to, and as she was free tonight, I invited her for diner. I hope you're not mad. »

 

Yuu wasn't. If anything, he was glad he had such a helpful mother.

 

And later, after a good diner and a long talk with Rin, his therapist, that lasted until late in the night, Yuu found a text from Yutaka that made him feel a bit better.

 

Yutaka : Hey. Thought you might want to know that we're going to pick up Kouyou tomorrow and try to bring him back. He doesn't know yet. We're going to take care of him. Hope you're okay, Yuu.

 

 

 

***

 

Time was such a stupid notion, really.

 

It's been four days since Kouyou came back to his family's house, and yet it felt like _ages_. He had been living in a blur of regret, grief, heartbreack, and it all lead him to feel powerless and useless. He'd lost a thing he'd almost given up on, because he thought he'd never experience it.

 

And once he'd finally found it, he hadn't been able to keep it.

 

He hadn't any energy left whatsoever. Simple daily tasks seemed to overwhelm him, and except washing his teeth he hadn't been able to do anything. He'd stayed in the same old band tee shirt and sweat pants for the past days, and dragged himself heavily from the couch to the kitchen like a lost soul.

 

 

_-Was Yuu upset that he had left? Did that do anything to him? He could imagine him, pacing in his office, trying to find a solution to fill the empty spot Kouyou had left in Radio's Jack schedule, and he felt guilty to be once again the one to bother Yuu, and to have abandonned everyone there, and Yuu's beautiful features were probably darkened by worries now...-_

 

 

He didn't even bother to try to go to bed at night anymore, he knew that it would be useless, and too painful. He barely slept, and each few times it happened, he dreamt of Yuu. And woke up feeling even worse. He didn't know what was worse, dreaming of still having him around, sometimes even dreaming about them being in a relationship, or dreaming about losing him all over again. The deception of awaking then was horrid, because he could still almost feel Yuu's arms embracing him and figure the loving look on his beautiful face, but when he'd awoke from a bad dream he felt so desparate and guilty it was wearing on him like hell. The dreams he feared the most, when he thought about it, were the ones where he was looking for Yuu through streets, unknown places, running like a madman, searching frantically, thinking he had to find him and quickly, because if he didn't then he would lose him for good. Of course he never did, and these ones left him with a crushing feeling of despair and helplessness.

 

His mother had already begun to study for her upcoming com back to university. She usually sat at the coffee table in their living room, her books all around her, and the sight of his mom with her hair tied in a messy ponytail, her glasses on, frowning slightly at what she was reading, and scribbling quite furiously on her notebook after, had sent an unexpected warmth where Kouyou's heart previously resided. She also read things aloud, she said it helped her to uderstand better.

 

Kouyou had always liked to listen to her voice, and as it remembered him of his childhood, when she used to tell him bedtime stories, he had taken the habit of laying down on the couch behind her, and to let her voice lull him to slumber. Surprisingly, when he fell asleep listening to her, there was no dream.

 

 

_-Was Yuu still mad at him?He hoped not. He hoped Yuu knew that he'd only left because he loved him too much and didn't want to make a fool of himself anymore, didn't want to suffer more than he already had...-_

 

 

While he was curled there, amongst her mother's cushions who smelled like his childhood, in his family house, his overworked brain also liked to summon memories he had from this place.

 

_When he was a kid, Kouyou was a shy and quiet boy. He was a rather good pupil, not the best but always at the top of the class nevertheless. He liked playing video games, watching tv, reading mangas and comics, and his favorite hobby was to pick-up injured animals at home and try to heal them. He didn't get along much with boys his age, who liked too much to fight and were too loud and reckless for his liking. And also because they'd taken the bad habit to mock him because he had « a girl's mouth ». He prefered staying home with his mother, and spent a lot of his free time daydreaming in the family kitchen next to her while she was cooking. All in all, he was the furthest from the little boy his father had wished for that you can imagine._

 

_Surprisingly, it was his mother who decided that he couldn't stay like this, isolating himself from the other children, and missing opportunities to find friends. Despite Kouyou's disagreement, she'd taken him on the soccer field after his classes one day, where a dozen of other little boys were competing to play in the town's junior team. The coach announced that only three of them would be chosen, as he already had an almost complete team with the boys who played the previous year. Kouyou honestly had no idea why he was here, since he was already sure he wouldn't be chosen. He sent a distraught look to his mother, who was sitting on a bench with other parents, and she just smiled brightly at him, her two thumbs up like she wasn't doubting him a single second._

_Kouyou felt so bad at this moment, he didn't want to disappoint her but he was sure he somehow would, how would he ever be able to ***and he was beginning to panic a bit when-_

 

_« Hey ! » A small boy was handing him a training bib, smiling hesitantly._

 

_« Oh... Thank you. »_

 

_« Err... I was wondering... If maybe you'd like to help me ? » His skin was tanned and his hair dark, the boy made Kouyou think of a little weird chimpazee. And Kouyou liked animals, after all._

 

_« Well, I don't know how I could help... »_

 

_« See, these guys ? » The boy gestured to the group of other boys who were all glaring at each others, « They're all going to try to win the coach's approval by showing him how better than the others they are. »_

 

_« Well, yeah, because that's the point, right ? »_

 

_« Yeah, yeah, sure. But what coaches are looking for, it's also players who have a team spirit, you know, because it's important, in a game like soccer. That's why I thought that maybe... You and I could play together ? You know, instead of playing against each other, try to join our forces ? Like super heroes ? I really want to join the team, you know ? We've just moved in, and I have no friends yet, and I loooooove soccer so much !»_

 

_That was what decided Kouyou. This kid was talking the same language he did. Super heroes. It looked like he had thought about the situation and his analysis seemed quite smart. And his enthusiasm was contagious. Hell, even if he wasn't chosen (he didn't want to, in the first place) at least he could help this weirdo._

 

_« Okay, so what's your plan ? »_

 

_They'd begun to stretch together, and Akira (that was the chimpanzee's name) had explained him what he thought to be a good tactic. And here they were, half an hour later, running on the field. Just like Akira had said, the other boys were all fiercely battling to prove their value. Never missing an opportunity to push one of their opponent to make them fall or miss the ball. It made Kouyou cringe a bit, remembering Akira's words about soccer being a team game. And he thought that, amongst all of them, Akira deserved the most to be in this team because he was the only one who'd figured out the real purpose of it all. So Kouyou began to run, and he easily stole the ball from a guy who'd just brutally kicked another guy's ankle to have it, and he resumed his running , until he felt purchased by too many players. He then kicked the ball towards Akira, who'd followed him since he'd firt caught it, and Akira sent it flying with all the force he could muster, scoring a goal. The coach let the boys play a little more, and Akira and Kouyou kept on playing with each other, while the other boys kept on trying to steal the show for themselves alone._

 

_Then the coach called them all to announce his decision near the parent's bench._

 

_« Ok, so... I chose to keep three of you. Tomo, you're really good to dodge the tacklers. You're in. And for the two others, Akira and Kouyou. I'm happy to know that there are at least two people who understand that you can't win anything on your own in soccer. Congratulations. »_

 

_Akira threw his fist in the air triumphally and bumped his shoulder with Kouyou, a wide grin on his face. Kouyou was stunned. He turned to his mother who'd just join them._

 

_« What ? No, not me, I mean... Mom... I don't want to play... I just wanted Akira to be chosen. »_

 

_« Oh, sweetheart, we already talked about it. You need to go out of home, and beside, you've been chosen, that's probably because you will be good at it, right ? »_

 

_Akira looked at him with wide eyes._

 

_« Wait, you're kidding, right ? We've been chosen ! The two of us ! No way you're going to quit ! Please, Kou! Give it a try, I promise it will be cool ! » Kouyou barely noticed the nickname the other boy used._

 

_« See, Kouyou ? You can't let him down, now ! Please, try it for me, honey, and if you still don't like it in a month I promise we'll find something else, okay ? »_

 

_Akira had begun to jump around him frantically._

 

_«Please, please, please, please Kouyou, please ! »_

 

 _Of course, Kouyou couldn't disagree with both his mother and Akira, so the deal was done. And later, when they were around a table with Akira's mother in the ice cream shop to celebrate, he felt like maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go to soccer practise, as Akira declared proudly that he'd achieved two of his goals at once, being chosen in the soccer team and finding a friend. Then Kouyou's mother (overjoyed that this cute little boy had taken a liking in her beloved son) had invited him for diner and a sleepover..._ And they'd ended up watching animes and falling asleep on the same couch Kouyou actually found himself remembering _._

 

Kouyou smiled bitterly at the memory. Damn, he missed Aki so much. Thinking about it, they almost hadn't been separated since this day. The longest they hadn't seen each other was during Akira's and Haruko's honeymoon, and even then, Akira had called him everyday.

 

 

_-Did Yuu thought about him sometimes? Because Yuu was constantly on his mind, sometimes just images of him, smiling, frowning, laughing, sometimes vivid memories of moments they had together, anyway each time it hurt...-_

 

 

When he thought about it, he'd spent quite a lot of important moments of his life in this room, just like this special time when...

 

_The whole family was enjoying a tea break on a sunday afternoon. That had been when Kouyou was almost entering high school, and his father had soon broached the subject of his only son's future. Of course, as a father, he had high expectations about what it should be, and obviously it didn't match a bit with Kouyou's own plans. He hadn't had the guts to tell him yet, despite his mother pressing him to do so, arguing that the longer he would delay it, the hardest it would be for the man to accept it. Kouyou knew is mother was right, and he also knew that she would support him when he would feel like talking about it._

 

_His father was bragging about how his eldest daughter had already shown herself worthy of his trust, and that he was looking forward to when his son would prepare himself to follow his steps. He had no doubt about it, and despite the fact that they were arguing more often than not about almost everything, he was sure that it was only a phase of teen age, and that Kouyou would come to ressemble him somehow as he would grow more mature. Kouyou was more and more embarrassed by his father's discourse, and just when his father begun to babble excitedly about introducing him to some of his colleagues'daughters, in order to, he said as he winked to his flustered son, make interesting connections with some of the more sophisticated and pretty girls in town. As Kouyou blushed and adverted his eyes once again, his mother had snapped. On the more calm and peaceful tone she could muster, she'd asked :_

 

_« Maybe you should first ask your son about this. Did you ask him if he was planning to work with you, or if he thought about anything else he could possibly want to do as a job ? And I don't think he needs you as a matchmaker. None of this girls interest him. »_

 

_His father stopped rambling, and turned to his wife with wide eyes and a confused expression._

 

_« But... Of course he's coming to work with me ! Why wouldn't he ? And why wouldn't he be interested in meeting these girls ? I've already talked to some of them and they can't wait to see him ! »_

 

_His mother let out an exasperated sigh, and sent an apologetic smile to her son, taking his hand in hers, and finally looking straight into her husband's eyes, she answered :_

 

_« Because he wants to work in something that's music related, and had never been interested in studying laws. And because he's gay, too. »_

 

_Kouyou had choked on his tea._

 

_« Mom ! »_

 

_His two sisters, who were chatting quietly during the previous exchange, had fell silent when they'd heard their mother's words. They looked like they'd just been hit by thunder._

 

_« What ? Is there anything that I said that wasn't true ? It's enough, now, no more hiding things here. And if anyone has problems with anything that I said, I suggest that they think about it rather smartly before they express themselves. If I don't see any problems with this, as a mother, and therefore the person that cares about him the most, I don't see how anyone could. Kouyou likes boy, just like I, or his sisters do. No big deal. »_

 

_And just like that, his mother had dropped the bomb. She excused herself later, telling Kouyou that she'd been tired of having to hide things within her own home. And just like that, Kouyou's sexual orientation had been exposed but noone had confronted him about it. Because there were more important news than him being gay._

 

_His father had been deeply offended, and to say that he was beyond disappointed would have been the euphemism of the century. He had lectured Kouyou, arguing that he had been spoilt too much, that he would forever regret it if he didn't follow his own steps, and he had finished his speech telling his son that he wouldn't support him in any way in his choices, and that he would never pay for studies that he hadn't chosen himself. Then he'd left the room with very angry steps._

 

_His mother had put a hand on Kouyou's knee, who seemed petrified._

 

_« See ? It wasn't that bad ! »_

 

_Kouyou looked at her disbelievingly, like if she had completely gone crazy, and his expression made her burst into uncontrolable giggles. Some seconds after, just as he was recovering from the shock, he joigned her in her laughing fit._

 

 

That had happened in this very room, on this very couch, where he'd decided that he would pursue his dreams no matter what, that his father's support wasn't needed somehow, and that he would work hard to reach his goals.

 

That was where he'd finally talked about it with Akira, somedays later. Of course they had similar dreams, they shared the same tastes and had the same vision of what they wanted to do with their lives. And Akira had promised to follow him wherever he would go, and that together they would be stronger to fight and win, just like it had been on that soccer field the day they met.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. I'm delighted and thankful whenever one of you leave comments and/or kudos. As always, don't be shy and tell me your feelings about this chapter!


	16. Bittersweet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly updates are back, yay!   
> It feels weird to know that there will only be one more chapter before the end of this fic. Wow.  
> I don't know if I'll be able to have it ready in two weeks, because I really want this last part to be perfect, obviously. :)  
>  In case I won't I'll be posting two Boys don't cry updates in a row, to not make you wait without giving you nothing to read. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Donna ni tsurakute mo, anata ga soko ni iru to_  
Kokoro ni sou omoeru dake de fushigi to ganbarerunda yo  
  
We love you...   
Hora, sekaijuu ja  
We love you...   
Ima kono shunkan mo  
We love you...   
Dareka ga dareka wo   
We love you...   
Aishiteru.   
  
Sousa  
We love you, We love you  
Sekai wa kimi wo aishiteru.   
  
Dakara daijoubu, kimi wa kimi no mama de,  
sono mama de. 

 

_("No matter how much I hurt, you're right there_   
_If I'm able to think just that, I will miraculously be able to do my best"_   
  
_We love you... look, around the world there is someone loving someone right this moment._   
  
_So we love you, the world loves you._   
_So it'll be all right, just the way you are, in all your honesty.")_

Miyavi, "We love You-Sekai wa kimi no aishiteru"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_-How was Yuu dressed today? Kouyou liked it when Yuu was wearing casual clothes, like the over-used blue-jeans he wore occasionally on week-ends, coupled with this fitted white shirt, the one that had a large V-neck that let his collarbones show, and made Kouyou want to kiss him just there, at the base of his neck, where he knew it would make Yuu shiver... -_

 

 

It was his fourth day there, and as usual, at the beginning of the afternoon he had settled on the couch amongst the fluffy cushions and was waiting for his mother to arrive and begin to learn. She had looked quite upset in the morning, but honestly Kouyou hadn't had enough strenght to ask her why.

 

When she entered the living room with huge earmuffs, Kouyou arched a brow.

 

What the hell was she doing?

 

And when, before coming to sit behind the coffee table where all her books and notebooks were as if nothing was wrong, she had put some metal music on the stereo with the volume _real high,_ Kouyou shot up from his position to get up and turn down the music.

 

« What the hell, Mom ?! »

 

She looked at him with a stern gaze.

 

« Maybe it will prevent you from falling asleep ? »

 

« What ? Wait a minute ? Does it upset you that I'm falling asleep while you're learning ? And... Why ? »

 

Kouyou was at loss. He felt confused, and even if he hadn't done anything else than just get up from the couch, he felt like he'd run several kilometers, and was about to collapse.

 

« Of course not. What bothers me, though, is the nocturnal habits you and your sister have taken since you're back. »

 

Kouyou went to sit back, his head low, a bit ashamed.

 

« Oh. This. »

 

His mother let out a tired sigh.

 

« Did you think I wouldn't notice that you drank all night long, the two of you? Aiko had already begun to do this, before you even came back. She sneacks out of her bedroom late at night and try to tame her heartbreak drinking anything she can get her hands on. I tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't want to aknowledge it. I thought it would get better with time, and it seemed it did. But now that you're here, it's getting worse again. Listen, Kouyou. I know you feel bad right now, and I understand, I really do. But I can't let you do this to yourselves. I haven't given birth to two wonderful children to just witness them becoming shameless alcoholics under my eyes. You're not going to spend your days sleeping your sadness away and your nights drowning your despair in alcohol. That's not how it's going to be. So today, you're going to stay awake, no matter how, and maybe tonight you'll be too exhausted to resist falling asleep.»

 

Kouyou didn't argue. He knew she was right.

 

 

_-Did Yuu missed him? Because oh god, he did missed Yuu. Painfully.-_

 

 

When he arrived home on the first day, he'd spent the whole evening in his mother's kitchen, crying and telling her what she didn't know about his current heartbreak. She comforted him the best she could, prepared him some hot chocolate she forced down his throat since he'd just admit that he hadn't eaten something close to a real meal for days, and then she'd tucked him in bed after helping him to change in an old band tee-shirt and sweatpants – clothes he hadn't left since. She had stayed with him for some time, stroking his hair gently, and had kissed his forehead softly before going to bed herself. She was devastated to see her son in such a state, and even if she liked Yuu a lot (and knew he probably wasn't the only one to blame for the disaster) she was mad at him for making Kouyou go through such a painful phase.

 

Kouyou had tried to sleep then, thinking that being back here, in his childhood home, would bring him enough peace and comfort to do so.

 

He was oh so wrong.

 

The overwhelming lump that suffocated him wouldn't budge, and staying here in his bed made him feel like he was going to be swallowed by anxiety. He tossed and turned for a few hours, then, when breathing was beginning to get too difficult, he got up from bed and headed to the kitchen again. He was surprised to see some light there. When he entered the room silently, he was more then confused to find his sister.

 

« Aiko? What... What are you doing here? »

 

She wore pink pajamas with printed rainbows and unicorns on it, and he distractedly remembered her wearing it when he still lived here, a long time ago. Her eyes were red rimmed, like she'd been crying, too. She forced a smile to him, and showed the glass in her hand.

 

« Wanna join me in my celebration? »

 

« Hum... What are you celebrating? »

 

« I don't know exacly? My bad tastes in men? My poor choices in life? My lack of a real job?My too many failures? Pick up one, Kouyou, there are so many! Cheers! » And she gulped a long sip from her glass, making Kouyou smile weakly.

 

« Hey. Don't you think you're a bit harsh with yourself? And what are you drinking? »

 

« Come on! Don't act as if you hadn't think any of this about me. And it's father's cognac. It's good, if a little strong for my budtastes, but I already finished the things I liked the most on previous nights, so... » She shrugged. « Cognac ? »

 

« Well... Yeah. »

 

She poured a good amount of the ambered alcohol on a glass she'd caught in the cupboard near her and handed it to her brother. She looked at him, how defeated he looked, how thin he'd became since she last saw him (it wasn't that long, though) and she hummed thoughtfully.

 

« You should sit down, Kouyou. You look like you're about to pass out from exhaustion, and I don't know if I will be able to catch you, even if you're skinnier than Jack Skellington. »

 

Kouyou's shoulders dropped even more, and he let himself fall on the chair in front of her.

 

« I'm sorry. »

 

The cognac wasn't helping Aiko as she was trying to understand why Kouyou was apologizing.

 

« Why ? »

 

« For Alan. And what he did. »

 

She laughed dryly.

 

« Well, from what I least heard you weren't the one Alan cheated on me with, right ? So I don't see why you should be sorry for. »

 

« I'm still sorry. I was the one to bring this up. Besides, I may have been... Slightly agravated when father asked me to come to this family lunch, I didn't want to be here at all. I... think I was just a bit jealous that you were going to have what I would never have, a beautiful wedding, then a family. Another member of the clan who would exactly grant our father's wishes. Unlike me, the burden of a son who couldn't make anyone proud even if his life depended on it. That was such a lame way to think. I'm sorry for this too, I should have been happy for you. »

 

Aiko didn't say anything at the moment. She kept on studying Kouyou's face, and thought she'd never seen him like this.

 

Kouyou was the most sensitive child of the family, always had been. But he had learnt through the years to hide it behind the facade of an easy going guy, most of the time unaffected by his surroundings, shielding himself from the world that could hurt him. He rarely let his feelings show, especially when at home, where he knew he would most likely be attacked on one thing or another about his life, job, whatever it might be. She had always been happy to not grow up in Kouyou's skin, and she knew he hadn't had the golden childhood she or their eldest sister had, because he didn't fit in the frames his father or society had built for him. As the selfish lovely pretty girl their father has always praised her for, she hadn't really have it in her to feel sorry for him. But today, as she was herself having experienced (and if she was honest, for the first time) how cruel life could be, she actually felt an intense surge of protectiveness towards him. The alcohol helping, she was even beginning to feel intense guilt threatening to choke her, because it wasn't fair, was it, that Kouyou had to go through so much while she and Mariko were having the best time? No wonder he'd tried to escape as soon as he could, to build himself a life in which he would be free of his choices and safe from reproaches and criticisms. No wonder he'd ran and chose to only live amongst his best friends, people who would always protect and love him no matter what.

 

« I've done much worse most of my life, Kouyou. I've never been here for you. I've never taken the time to care about anything related to you. So let's drop this, ok ? But I'm here now. Maybe I could help ? I mean, if you deam me trust-worthy enough to tell me what happened to you ? » Her words were slightly slurred, but Kouyou could see genuine concern in her eyes, for maybe the first time in his life.

 

He pondered for a few seconds, considering if he wanted to tell her, if he had the strenght to talk about this again. He was about to shake his head, but the prospect of talking about Yuu won over everything else. The cognac was beginning to affect him a bit, and he found himself overflowing with his feelings for Yuu.

 

So he spoke, in an hesitant voice.

 

« Please don't laugh, ok ? I'm gonna sound like a schoolboy in love and I know it, that's just how much I love him. Like an idiot.»

 

Aiko encouraged him with a weak smile.

 

« When I first saw him he just took my breath away. I couldn't think of anything else than that I finally found the one I thought I would never meet. My special someone. My soulmate. And yes, I fell for what he looked like at first sight, it was something purely physical, but deep inside I knew- or I thought I knew- that I would like everything about him. And indeed, I did. He's sweet, kind, smart, brilliant, and the first time I made him laugh I felt invicible. »

 

And Kouyou told Aiko everything, the hotel, how Yuu flew away after their night together, how he found him back as his manager, and how things were back then. _Just friends_.That was Yuu's wish, on that roof...

 

«... But I've been stupidly selfish, because I was so sure that we were made for each other, that I tried to convince him too. And I didn't really aknowledge that he could feel differently than how I did. It was so strong, for me, so deeply right, to love him, that I haven't think, not once, that maybe it could be different for him. I tried to force my love for him down his throat, thinking that somehow he would fall for me too. What an asshole I've been. No wonder he couldn't stand me. No wonder I've made him mad. I've been almost as bad as his previous boyfriends, in my attempts to make him love me despite all he'd said to me about not wanting to have a relationship with anyone. »

 

And Kouyou was crying again, ashamed and hurt, the throbbing emptiness in him aching so bad he thought he was going to die of it someday soon. Noone could endure this and get out of it alive, could they ?

 

Aiko stood up on wobbly legs, and came to embrace Kouyou tightly. He kept on crying, his head on her belly, and she began to rock him back and forth lightly (not too much though, because they would have ended both on the floor, with how tipsy she was.) She couldn't stand to see him so broken, so miserable. It brought tears in her eyes, and she said, her voice strangled by emotions.

 

« You aren't an idiot for falling in love with him, Kouyou. You're not responsible for loving someone. You know what ? Most of the time, and in front of people mostly, I just keep my head up high and say that I'm happy you found out about Alan before I married him. That I'm glad I didn't linked my life with this bastard. But... The truth is... Somewhere inside me, a part of me -probably the stupidest part, but whatever- regrets that you did. That part of me wants to believe that maybe, once we would have been happily married, maybe once we would have had children, Alan would have been faithful to me. Alan would have stopped sleeping around with other women because I would have been enough for him. And whereas everything in me screams at this part of me to stop this bullshit, that cheaters like Alan do never stop their shit because it's in them, they have it like a twisted disease, it's rooted in their stupid gens, this stupid little part of me still keeps on telling me lies, telling me fairytales about what could have been of our perfect lives. And that keeps me up at night, I can't sleep because it plays in my head in loop, what could have been if only. And I hate him, for what he did, to me, to my family, to my _dreams..._ But I still love him, somewhere deep inside of me, and it will take time for me to stop. »

 

They 'd ended the night both drunk out of their minds, and Kouyou had helped his sister to lay on her bed before he'd collapsed on his own. Aiko had slept through the morning, while he'd just passed out for almost two hours before jolting awake, barely sober and his skull aching almost as much as his poor agonizing heart. And they had repeated their « nocturnal habit » like his mother had called it, every night since. Keeping on emptying their parents' liquor. They'd gone through cognac, tequilla, whisky and a couple of exotic bottles until then, and tonight they'd planned to total the rum.

 

Mission aborted.

 

 

 

 

Kouyou's mother sighed anew.

 

« I've woken Aiko up at dawn this morning. She wasn't very happy with it, but I sent her with Mariko who had a day off, to a shopping trip downtown. I hope both of you will be too tired tonight to raid whatever booze you could find in the kitchen. And oh, by the way, I doubt you would find anything there, anyway, I got rid of all the thing you could have wanted to get yourself drunk with. So unless you want to try some vinegar... »

 

She looked at her son, her eyes pleading and her voice softer.

 

« I know it's a bit early for you to try and function as if nothing happened. I know you're hurting, and you need to grieve and mourn, and it's ok. But please, Kouyou, don't let this brings you so down that you won't be able to recover from it. We're here to help, ok? »

 

Kouyou nodded, his head still low. Great. Now he not only felt like he never deserved Yuu, but like he didn't deserve _anybody,_ because he'd managed to disappoint his mother, too.

 

She got up, getting rid of the earmuffs she was wearing, and crouched down before him. She stroked his cheek tenderly.

 

« I put some clean clothes for you in the bathroom. Why don't you try to have a shower first, and maybe then we could have a nice afternoon playing Monopoly together, while waiting for your sisters to come back? I don't feel like learning today anyway... »

 

 

_-Was Yuu okay? Kouyou knew the man hadn't very good habits, he smoked too much, didn't sleep enough and didn't take time to eat properly most of the time. He hoped that now that he was gone and not here to mess with Yuu's wishes, Yuu would have finally settle to have an healthy life. He deserved it...-_

 

 

Kouyou did, and according to his mother's plans, he finally fell asleep on the couch, with Aiko curled up against him, while they were all watching a movies they'd already seen several times before. No dreams were involved that night.

 

Nor the night after. Kouyou and Aiko found themselves on Aiko's bed. They didn't chat as much as when they were drunk, and it was way less funny too. But for the first time in their lives they enjoyed each other's company, even if just for the comfort it brought them to not be left alone in their own misery.

 

 

 

 

On saturday morning, Kouyou awoke on his side of his sister's bed. Because yes, they slept in the same bed, but each one on their side, because let's be serious. They had never cuddled before, and it probably wasn't a thing that they would ever do.

 

Kouyou smiled weakly.

 

It was funny, because there was only one person he could associate cuddling with, and it wasn't anyone of his family. As weird as it was, it was not only a guy, but a guy who was gay too. They've slept in the same bed countless times, and as Taka was a bit clingy when asleep, they've woken up more often than once entangled in each other's limb, and weirdly it had never been awkward. Takanori was really like a brother to him, and he liked to think that he was the only one Taka would open himself to this way. The guy could look as self-confident and careless as he wanted, Kouyou knew the true personnality of his friend, who was just someone who hid his insecurities and his craving for affection pretty well.

 

Damn, how he missed him. A wave of guilt hit him. He knew that Taka was probably furious that he left, and dead worried too. He hoped Yutaka took great care of him. Yutaka took great care of anybody, anyway. Damn, he missed him too.

 

He was shaken out of his thoughts by some noise coming from the kitchen. Of course his mother was already up. He sighed and sat on the bed. The sleep he could get on the previous nights had been good for him, he didn't feel as weak, and his head was spinning less. But he was aware that, to not fall sick, he would have to force himself to eat, and soon. The permanent lump he had down his throat made him nauseous each time he tried to swallow anything. His mother prepared him soups, and these were the easiest things for him to eat, but he had to face the truth, he was a grown up man and he couldn't live on soups only, his body needed more.

 

A sudden thought stroke him.

 

What if he took some protein drinks, just for the time this lump wouldn't go away? The kind of things Akira always had in his fridge...

 

Damn, he missed Akira way too much.

 

He heard his mother laugh and speack to someone joyfully, and he frowned. Mariko was probably gone to work by now, even if she didn't work on saturdays she always went to her office then to finish things she had on going, and to check on her professional mail. Their father was more than likely with her. And Aiko was still fast asleep next to him. So who was his mother talking to in such a cheerful tone?

 

 

_-What was Yuu doing today? It was saturday so it meant that he was probably enjoying his day off at home, listening to some music and smoking on chain. As if the weather was good, maybe he would take a walk later, in the park nearby... Maybe he would meet someone there...-_

 

He stood up, ignoring the pang in his chest (and the weakness in his legs) at the mere idea of Yuu seeing anyone else. This had to stop, he couldn't let himself be plagued by images like this all the time. He decided to distract himself by going to see who was the misterious visitor in the kitchen.

 

 

He caught the shirt he'd left on his sister's flowery desk chair last night before heading toward's the kitchen. And stood at the door, confusion washing over him.

 

« Hi Mom! How-... Mako? »

 

His mother bright smile widened, turning to face her son while she was talking to the little girl in her baby seat.

 

« Hey darling, see who's finally up? It's your uncle Kouyou! »

 

Kouyou barely noticed that she was already freeing Mako from her seat before he was holding her against his chest, the little girl making all sorts of joyful noises as she was happy to have finally her uncle Kouyou back. He hold her for a few minutes, closing his eyes, inhaling the sweet familiar scent of her shampoo, enjoying the feeling of her soft baby hair against his lips, before he felt his legs were going to betray him. He sat down, still holding a smiling Mako, and turned to his mother, a confused expression on his face.

 

« But... What... Why is she here, Mom ? Is there a problem? »

 

His mother smiled reassuringly.

 

« I think there was! This young couple just came to drop her here. They said they needed some time for themselves today, and as Mako's favourite uncle wasn't there to take care of her, and as she missed him a lot, they decided to just come. They let everything we could need here in this bag, and just left for who knows where. They said you would know when and how to do what, because you're so used to it. »

 

Surprisingly, Kouyou found the strenght to have a breakfast. Anyway, he couldn't risk feeling weak if he had to take care of Mako for who knows how long, so he just forced himself to have some coffee and a bowl of rice, and he even ate a banana. It was probably the hugest meal he'd had in a week.

 

He didn't notice the fond smile on his mother's lips while he was eating.

 

 

Aiko had fallen in love at first sight once she layed her eyes on Mako. As Kouyou had said that they couldn't keep the little girl inside with such a beautiful weather, their mother had whiped some quick picnic while he and his sister went to prepare themselves, and they'd decided to head to the biggest park of the little town. There was a lake there, some ducks and a lot of place to settle down under the trees. As expected, Kouyou had found the baby-carrier he loved the most in the huge bag. Actually, he was the one who bought it for Haruko when Mako was born. He found it practical and he loved the feeling of having Mako against him as he walked, and he thought it was way better than a trolley, way more comfortable and cozy.

 

They spent a good part of their day there, Kouyou and Aiko chatting and playing with Mako on a blanket, Kouyou teaching his sister how to change diappers or which songs Mako loved the most. Aiko burst into giggles when she heard the songs her brother used to sing to the little girl.

 

« But songs for children are so lame! I'm only trying to give her the best! » Kouyou was offended.

 

« Yeah, right, but Vamps' _Revolution_ isn't what I would think about as a song for children! »

 

« Well, you're wrong because it's one of his favorite! Look!

 

_Let's break away chains are unlocking you have so many ways_

__  
Hey don't worry chasing your calling you can go anywhere  
  
Let's break away chains are unlocking you have so many ways 

 

And indeed, Mako was delighted to hear Kouyou sing. She was beaming at him.

 

« See? She _loves_ it! And wait for her to know how to « stomp for more and bang for more » with her little feet and tiny hands! She's gonna kill it! »

 

They kept on laughing and playing, until their mother, who had taken with her some of her notebooks and was trying to study, finally found weird to not hear any sound coming from them. She found the three ofthem asleep on the blanket they brought, Kouyou holding Mako against him and Aiko curled up against them. She looked at them for a long moment, allowing herself to be a bit emotional, and, the most quietly she could, she took her phone and shot a picture of them, sleeping peacefully under the shadows of the trees.

 

When they came back home at the end of the afternoon, Mariko and their father were here. Both of them gushed over Mako, which made Kouyou grin with pride. As Mariko and Aiko get to help their mother to prepare diner, Kouyou took Mako to the bathroom as it was time for her to have a bath. He then prepared her for the night, finding his favorite pajama in the bag (it was pink with a guitar and it was written « Superstar » on it). He wondered briefly when Akira and Haruko would come to pick their daughter, but thought that they would probably enjoy their evening and night together and come in the morning after. And it was better this way, because he wasn't ready yet to face them.

 

As he was coming back from the bathroom with a hungry little girl in his arms, he stopped by the bay window frame.

 

Oh.

 

Gathered around the garden table, having a beer with his sisters and father, were not only Akira and Haruko, but also Yutaka and Takanori. Ready or not, it wasn't a question anymore.

 

 

Everybody stopped talking when he appeared and an awkward silence fell. Then Mako realized that her parents were indeed there, and she held her little arms in the direction of her mother joyfully. Haruko took it as a clue to approach a still bewildered Kouyou, and as she was taking her daughter from Kouyou's arms, she caught him in an half embrace and chuckled fondly.

 

« Hey Mako-baby ! How you doin', sweetie ? I bet you were delighted to see your Uncle Kouyou, right ? » She kissed the baby's head, and then Kouyou's cheek. « Thanks, Kouyou. I knew you would take care of her while we would enjoy a bit of time by ourselves. You're the best, as always ! » Her soft voice and the gentleness in her eyes made Kouyou warm inside.

 

Damn, he had missed Haruko so much too. « You're welcome. And I'm not the best, Mako is.»

 

The others seem to came back to life after Haruko had somehow unfreeze the atmosphere, and as she was getting away from Kouyou, Akira came to hug his best friend. The hug was really tight and for some seconds they didn't say anything.

 

Then a murmur left Akira, and Kouyou was shocked at how strangled it sounded.

 

« We missed you, dumbass. »

 

Kouyou chuckled weakly.

 

« I missed you all too. So much. »

 

Akira sniffed and nodded.

 

« Ok, enough of this shit. Now we act like men and have some beer, okay ? »

 

Kouyou bursted in laughter at his words and came to greet his others friends.

 

Yutaka was opening his arms to him, and after a firm hug, he caught his arms and looked at him with a slight frown, worry clear in his stare.

 

« Glad to see you, Kouyou. You okay ? »

 

Kouyou nodded again.

 

« Trying my best. »

 

At that, Yutaka's smile came back full force, and he laughed.

 

« That's my champion ! »

 

Kouyou found himself facing Takanori then. He couldn't decipher his friend's expression, because it was a mix of so many emotions. Kouyou lowered his head shamefully, avoiding Taka's stare.

 

« You're mad. »

 

« You bet I am. »

 

« You say you wouldn't. »

 

Takanori huffed. His eyes were shining a bit too much. He jumped at Kouyou's neck, surprising him so much he almost let him fall. He caught him just on time, Takanori helping himself wrapping his legs around Kouyou's slim waist like a kid would, under Kouyou's father astonished look.

 

« Never do that again, or I'll kill you. » Takanori's voice came shaken and muffled, as he had his face buried in Kouyou's neck

 

Kouyou rolled his eyes and let out a short giggle.

 

« Yeah, right. I love you too, babe. »

 

« You'd better, you asshole. »

 

They all bursted into laughters at the two friend's antics, and Kouyou's mom was bringing out everything to set the table, as the meal was ready. The diner was delicious and joyful, and for once even Mister Takashima, who wasn't that fond of dining amongst young people who weren't affiliated with his business in a way or another, even him enjoyed it fully. He was honestly more than happy to see a smile on his son's face, a thing too rare these last days. He wasn't a man of emotion, he was way too practical for this, but it pained him to see Kouyou so sad and dejected. And just like, sometimes, a ray of sunshine can lighten up a whole room, Kouyou's smile was finding an echo on Aiko's lips, and Mister Takashima felt thankful that these young people, as lively and careless as they could be, were bringing back a lighter mood and some happiness in his house who really needed it.

 

Kouyou's mom had also her reasons to rejoice, as Haruko had voiced her concern about Kouyou's loss of weight. Kouyou tried to avoid the topic, saying something about the lump he had in his throat that was making it difficult for him to swallow, but Haruko was persistant. She declared that she wasn't going to let a stupid lump threaten the health of Kouyou, since he was Mako's model. So he should lead the example and be a good boy and eat. She began to feed Kouyou with smal bits of meat and vegetables, just as she was doing with Mako's meal, much to the little girl's delight, and surprisingly it worked. Kouyou didn't eat much, but he ate anyway.

 

As they were finishing the dessert, though, the mood suddenly dropped to a more melancholic one. Kouyou knew that his friends would leave soon now, and he was feeling the lump in his throat coming back full force, and his stomach was beginning to twist in the most unpleasant way at the idea of having to tell them goodbye. He knew they had their lives to come back to, and that he would probably not see them for a while after tonight. Hopelessness and loneliness washed over him suddenly, he had missed them so much and now he was going to be separated from them again, and he had no way to avoid this, but how was he going to endure it?

 

The laughters and cheerful chatting had died down, and they were all waiting for Mrs Takashima to come back with some strong coffee (they would have to drive for a few hours before coming back home, so they would need it, even if they'd planned to take turns to drive). Mister Takashima and Mariko had excused themselves and retired for the night.

 

Kouyou suddenly caught the bottle of wine next to his glass, that he filled to the brim before drinking it in one gulp. Nobody missed how the hand holding the glass was shaking, or how distressed Kouyou suddenly looked.

 

Getting on leader mode instantly, Kai took the matter in hand in a soft voice, smiling.

 

« So, Kouyou, anything planned for Monday ? »

 

Kouyou looked like he was about to cry at any moment, and he snorted miserably.

 

« You mean, other than wallowing in self pity ? Not really, no. »

 

Kai's smile got wider.

 

« Great ! So you can come back to work ! I only have three of your shows left, and I'd rather keep them in store for if you catch the flu or something, you know ? »

 

« I think you missed something, dude. I resigned. I left. I'm no longer working for Radio Jack. »

Kouyou's tone was bitter, and he was also beginning to be mad too. Why was Kai playing ignorant ? Why was he acting like Kouyou had the choice to return to work with them all ? He didn't. It hurt, but he didn't.

 

And even if he could, he wouldn't, because of Yuu. He had to stay away from him if he wanted to get over him.

 

« Technically, you still are. » Takanori pipped in. « Yuu never gave your letter to the boss. You're currently having a family emergency and Yuu and us have you covered. »

 

« What ? But... Why did he do that ? And why did you let him ? I mean... I won't come back anyway, I just can't, it's beyond everything I can endure to see him everyday, knowing that he will never reciprocate the feelings I have for him. »

 

« You won't. Kouyou, Yuu left. He was really sorry that you'd felt so bad you had to leave, and he decided that he couldn't stay and deprive you from your life and friends. He was adamant on letting you some time to get better, though, and dealt with everything so that you wouldn't be bothered. »

 

Kouyou was speechles for a few seconds, his mind processing the new informations Takanori was giving him.

 

« Yuu left ? » He asked in a weak voice. « But... Where did he go ? I mean... He had nowhere to go ! » Kouyou's concern was obvious and somehow broke Taka's heart. Kouyou loved Yuu so much, it wasn't fair. That wasn't how it was supposed to be.

 

« He's okay. Yutaka has been in touch with him a few times, and it seems that he's been at his parent 's home since he's gone. He found a job there. »

 

Yuu was gone. Again. And this time it was for good. Of course, Kouyou hadn't planned to see him ever again when he'd left, but at least he knew where he was. Now it was over, definitely. Yuu was gone and even if he knew Yuu's name and could probably find him if he wanted to, Kouyou would never. Yuu was gone and it was best for him to be left alone, far from Kouyou's undesired feelings.

Hopelessness and loneliness only grew stronger in him, and Kouyou fought the strongest he could to not burst into tears just there, trying to catch the breath that seemed to have deserted him.

 

Akira put a comforting hand on his thigh and squeezed a bit.

 

« Hey. Breathe, Kouyou. It's okay. We all know you're having a hard time right now, but maybe you should take your time to get better, and maybe going back home and going to work would make everything easier, don't you think ? We don't want to go without you, that's why we came, you know ? We all miss you so much, and you belong with us. »

 

« As much as I love to have you here, honey, they're right. You need to come back to work to feel better, you need your friends around you. » His mother added, pouring fresh coffee in several mugs and handing it to her visitors.

 

« But... I'm not ready... I didn't prepare anything... And I'm not sure I will handle to be alone when I'll be back at my appartment. »

 

« Your mother prepared your bags while you were in the bathroom with Mako. They're already in the van's trunk. And don't worry, you'll be staying with us for a while, until you feel like going back to your place. Your room is waiting for you. » Akira winked, an expecting smile on his face.

 

« Guess I don't really have a choice, then ? » Kouyou wanted to look a bit mad, but failed. He felt like he was breathing a bit more easily. He wouldn't have to miss his friends anymore, he was going to be able to work at his beloved radio. Maybe things were going to be better. Maybe he could heal .

 

He had to try.

 

 

 

They'd left a little before midnight. Akira would be driving for the first part of the journey, then Yutaka would take over from him for the second part. Takanori would drive for the third part. Haruko wouldn't take turn because she would stay with Mako at the back of the truck, and everybody agreed that Kouyou wasn't in a proper state to do anything else than sleep.

 

They said their goodbyes to Kouyou's mom and Aiko, and had begun to get themselves in the van, letting Kouyou take his leave from his family. He felt a bit guilty to abandon his sister there. He had hugged her longly, and had finally released her, smiling weakly as he was seeing her teary eyes.

 

« Seems like we finally begin to understand each other. You should come to visit someday soon. Why don't you come with Mom next time ? She still needs to find an appartment, so you could help her maybe ? And then, we could spend some time together, and I could show you around ? »

 

Aiko smiled brightly.

 

« I'd love to ! That's a great idea ! »

 

« I'm looking forward to it ! Take care, Aiko. »

 

Then Kouyou had hugged his mother tightly, and he'd hopped on Akira's family van. Akira had settled behind the wheel, Yutaka on his side. Haruko and Mako were already at the back, the baby installed in her baby seat, and sharing an oversized fluffy blanket with her mother. Takanori was waiting for him in the middle seats, so he sat next to his friend. They waved at Aiko and Mrs Takashima, and Akira started to drive. He was quietly talking with Yutaka, and the radio was playing some old song.

 

Kouyou leaned his head against the car window, closing his eyes. It was cold, and he felt like he was in a whirlwind of emotions. Relief, because he was staying with his friends he'd missed so much. Sadness, because he was going to miss his mother and sister. Warmth, because he had the best friends he could hope for, they've planned this trip to rescue him and they'd come to take him back home. Anxiety, because he was going to have to face painful memories he had with Yuu there. Hope, because he thought he was finally being able to talk with his sister. Heartbreak, again and again, because Yuu was gone. For good. Forever.

 

He hadn't realize he was crying, until he felt Takanori 's arms embrace him.

 

« It's gonna be okay, Kou. You're gonna be okay. »

 

Kouyou turned to curl against his friend, resting his head on Taka's shoulder, who was grabbing a blanket on the seat next to him to envelop them both with it. He held him close, kissing his forehead.

 

« I promise you'll be okay. We will take care of it. »

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this story so far! I hope you're enjoying it as much as you enjoyed it in the beginnings. Don't forget to leave a comment if you feel like it, I can only remind you how important feedback is for authors, fanartists or translators. That's the only way for us to know if our stories or art are appreciated and why. And it's such a great reward :)   
> And just as Miyavi says, we love you, precious readers <3


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